Are you mixed?

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I get asked this a lot, and I'm not mixed. It's because of my hair, skin and maybe the way I speak ( I get the oreo label a lot). My parents are black--I'm light skinned probably because my mom is. I have some Irish and Cherokee mixed in from a long time ago but most blacks in America have a little mix of everything somewhere down the line.

Lately I've started coming up with ridiculously impossible combinations. Conversations usually go like this:

Guy: "Say guh, you mixed?"
Me: "Why yes, I'm Japanese and Russian."

It's scary when they actually believe me.
Originally Posted by wherethebeaverlive


I'm mixed. My mom's black. My dad's black, Italian, French and Algonquian The only time it offends/annoys me is when I'm asked because of my hair, as if people who are all black can't possibly have "good hair". Besides I still have the kinky 4a, which I love, so people never even question my heritage unless my hair's straight. When it's in my natural afro state then I OBVIOUSLY can't be mixed. Shows those suckers!
My sister has been asked if she were mixed when she was relaxed. I think part of it was because there was another girl at school who looked like my sister who actually was, but even people who didn't know the other girl thought so too. Of course, when she went natural and revealed dense 4b hair...no one quite thought she was mixed anymore.
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Heyyy, I just commented on your post about the dumb French teacher What a coincidence
I also kind of had this experience! One ignorant girl was blatantly surprised when I told her I was mixed. She was like 'Oh... I just thought you were really tanned?' I mean, seriously? She saw my mum pick me up from school and stuff. My mum is quite obviously black XD

Last edited by The Spiral Queen; 06-05-2011 at 03:44 PM.
I get asked this question a whole lot. I'm not. I'm white. My mom is Irish, my dad is Italian. I have blue eyes and freckles. My hair is dark brown with a little bit of red. I'm white.

But I get asked this question completely randomly, and I was wondering if anyone else got it a lot. People ask when they meet me, whenever I offhandedly mention something about my hair, or occasionally at the cash register at Bojangles' (I kid you not, the cashier asked me once). I have 3Cish hair, I think, and I'll get some pictures up here eventually. I was just wondering if anyone else gets the question, and how you respond if you do (once someone actually didn't believe me, which was an interesting moment).
Originally Posted by rolltidegal
I'm a 3A, and I have a friend who actually is biracial and maybe a 3C or 4A (but I'm not sure, she can get more volume some days), and one time we got asked if we were related!
Hair Type: I was thinking thick, fine 3A, but honestly I have no clue! I do know I have a super flat top, and frizz on the sides.
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Why yes, I am mixed. If I am taking your slang right.

I'm "mixed" between at least 20 different sorts of European countries. Plus some sort of Asian blood mixed in from further back.

So yeah.
Nobody has asked me if I'm mixed but I have been asked, "what are you, anyway?" I don't find it annoying as much as a telling about the virtual stranger who would ask such a personal question. Close friends who've asked me get a pass because it's a chance for me to educate them that curly hair isn't "owned" by any particular race.
Originally Posted by roseannadana
Yes I've never gotten "are you mixed?" but have gotten the "what are you?" question my whole life. Which I thought was odd as I have light skin and eyes, white lady nose/mouth, always thought I just looked "white" but found out mom is part native american indian, dad part spanish/north african. So I guess some people can see this though I can't really.
Originally Posted by Robin-in-FL
What do you mean by "white lady nose/mouth"? Noses and mouths come in all different shapes and sizes, so it's a bit racist to just group all them into one stereotype according to your skin colour.

Spain is a part of Europe, so technically you are 1/3 "white".
I have a black father and a white mother, but most people assume I'm Hispanic before they hear me talk. (Some speak Spanish to me) My hair was always a problem until my mother gave me the Curly Girl handbook. I've made my own variations since reading it and people love it.
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It doesn't upset/offend me, I just find it kind of strange. And I was extremely confused with how to proceed the time the person who asked didn't believe me when I said I wasn't mixed. It's just kind of a bizarre question to get, I think. I dunno. Maybe that's just me.
Originally Posted by rolltidegal
They're probably just curious about what your racial background is because you may have a bit of a different look. Plus 3c hair isn't common on white people and very common on biracial people. People ask me this sometimes and I just answer it. I've asked others before when I was curious to know what they were. I've never thought much of the question expect that they want to know what I am.
I definitely get asked this often, and I am no longer offended. I only get p.o.ed when someone tries to ARGUE with me about it after I tell them I'm not. My dad told me that apparently if you don't have "nappy can'tcha, don'tcha hair" - his words, not mine, meaning you can't do anything and don't want to do anything with it - people will assume you're mixed with something...but I also got this question often when I had a relaxer too.

OP, it's probably a combo of your hair, freckles and red color that makes people ask. When they ask you, just say, "Nope, I'm not!" and keep it moving. No biggie.
Originally Posted by EllyEllyOxenFree
Wow!! My answer about this has certainly changed. It still doesn't offend me, but the question definitely annoys me now. Some people seem to think this question is the same thing as "What time is it?" I've gotten to the point where I'm like, "Why the eff do you care? Why is this important? I don't even know you, so why do you feel like it's okay to ask me about my racial background?" It would be one thing if we were having a conversation about heritage/ethnicities, but it's just a nosy question.
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I definitely get asked this often, and I am no longer offended. I only get p.o.ed when someone tries to ARGUE with me about it after I tell them I'm not. My dad told me that apparently if you don't have "nappy can'tcha, don'tcha hair" - his words, not mine, meaning you can't do anything and don't want to do anything with it - people will assume you're mixed with something...but I also got this question often when I had a relaxer too.

OP, it's probably a combo of your hair, freckles and red color that makes people ask. When they ask you, just say, "Nope, I'm not!" and keep it moving. No biggie.
Originally Posted by EllyEllyOxenFree
Wow!! My answer about this has certainly changed. It still doesn't offend me, but the question definitely annoys me now. Some people seem to think this question is the same thing as "What time is it?" I've gotten to the point where I'm like, "Why the eff do you care? Why is this important? I don't even know you, so why do you feel like it's okay to ask me about my racial background?" It would be one thing if we were having a conversation about heritage/ethnicities, but it's just a nosy question.
Originally Posted by EllyEllyOxenFree
So...I started this thread and somehow missed it turning into a huge thing. Okay. Haha.

But nail hit on head, Elly. It's just a much too personal question for the girl working the cash register at Bojangles' to ask me as soon as I step up to the counter, you know?

And it's a question that a lot of my friends have asked after months of knowing me, because they're genuinely curious how I ended up with what seems like such a strange mix of characteristics. I don't mind it all when it's them.

It usually bothers me most when it's relaxed black women who ask the question in a patronizing voice and then ask about relaxers, as if I don't know about them because I'm white, and that's what's preventing me from having "good hair." Ya know?
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I definitely get asked this often, and I am no longer offended. I only get p.o.ed when someone tries to ARGUE with me about it after I tell them I'm not. My dad told me that apparently if you don't have "nappy can'tcha, don'tcha hair" - his words, not mine, meaning you can't do anything and don't want to do anything with it - people will assume you're mixed with something...but I also got this question often when I had a relaxer too.

OP, it's probably a combo of your hair, freckles and red color that makes people ask. When they ask you, just say, "Nope, I'm not!" and keep it moving. No biggie.
Originally Posted by EllyEllyOxenFree
Wow!! My answer about this has certainly changed. It still doesn't offend me, but the question definitely annoys me now. Some people seem to think this question is the same thing as "What time is it?" I've gotten to the point where I'm like, "Why the eff do you care? Why is this important? I don't even know you, so why do you feel like it's okay to ask me about my racial background?" It would be one thing if we were having a conversation about heritage/ethnicities, but it's just a nosy question.
Originally Posted by EllyEllyOxenFree
So...I started this thread and somehow missed it turning into a huge thing. Okay. Haha.

But nail hit on head, Elly. It's just a much too personal question for the girl working the cash register at Bojangles' to ask me as soon as I step up to the counter, you know?

And it's a question that a lot of my friends have asked after months of knowing me, because they're genuinely curious how I ended up with what seems like such a strange mix of characteristics. I don't mind it all when it's them.

It usually bothers me most when it's relaxed black women who ask the question in a patronizing voice and then ask about relaxers, as if I don't know about them because I'm white, and that's what's preventing me from having "good hair." Ya know?
Originally Posted by rolltidegal
Yea, I agree with you - it's totally different when it's a friend asking me. I guess I reached my breaking point with it, lol.
BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
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i think i've disappointed a small handful of friends (past and present) when they find out that i'm "just black". my best friend is 20 yrs older than me and a lot of times people wonder how/why we became such good friends. we met at work and she initially wanted to befriend me because she thought we were the only puerto rican girls at work! LOL i can't be mad though because at first i was trying to holla at her son. i didn't find out until months later that he's gay.
i think i've disappointed a small handful of friends (past and present) when they find out that i'm "just black". my best friend is 20 yrs older than me and a lot of times people wonder how/why we became such good friends. we met at work and she initially wanted to befriend me because she thought we were the only puerto rican girls at work! LOL i can't be mad though because at first i was trying to holla at her son. i didn't find out until months later that he's gay.
Originally Posted by subbrock
LOL! See...my thing is this. A lot of the people who ask me if I'm mixed are mixed (no I did not assume or ask, they told me without me asking) themselves, and sometimes I think they're like, "Oooooh, I'm like you, so what are you?" Then, when I visibly side eye them, they get offended and act as if I have a problem with mixed people...sorry, not the case, I just didn't appreciate that question. It's like they were about to do some secret handshake on me, and I'm like yea sorry not everyone wants to be in your special club...
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Ooh I've had that happen before too. And yes I have a story for everything. A black/white biracial dude was trying to holla at me and one night we were hanging out when he went into this whole come to biracial Jesus moment. This guy literally went on for at least an hour talking about his childhood and race issues and I basically spent the entire time nodding my head in agreement. He concluded his emotional monologue with something about how part of the reason he liked me so much was because we're both mixed and we're special and different from "regular" black people, how our kind need to stick together and away from those dastardly monoracials, we have a natural bond, blah blah blah...and then he asked which one of my parents was white and which was black. Awkward....


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Complete and utter TEARS. I can't believe you sat there the whole time...I would have had to let him know...bwhahahah. I will say though, I used to have a tendency to overcompensate and shout, "I's negra!" from the rooftops so people didn't get it twisted.
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LOL. I get that all the time too. I just want to be like leave me alone! Even though I am mixed.

When I was at work this lady had long curly 3c hair, I didn't think anything of it. And she comes up to me and goes
"what are you mixed with?"
and I said "...uh...black"
and then she says "and what else?"

and then I said: "white?" and she was like "oh that's it?"

I was like well damn sorry I'm not all that special for you I mean my mother is german and polish but she's still white well sorrrrry. And then she told me everything she was mixed with and I just stared at her and was like "okay" CAUSE I DON'T CARE! and when she realized I didn't care she says : "Oh well I just wanted to ask because I saw we have the same kind of hair"


In my head I was like "no we don't"
LOL. I get that all the time too. I just want to be like leave me alone! Even though I am mixed.

When I was at work this lady had long curly 3c hair, I didn't think anything of it. And she comes up to me and goes
"what are you mixed with?"
and I said "...uh...black"
and then she says "and what else?"

and then I said: "white?" and she was like "oh that's it?"

I was like well damn sorry I'm not all that special for you I mean my mother is german and polish but she's still white well sorrrrry. And then she told me everything she was mixed with and I just stared at her and was like "okay" CAUSE I DON'T CARE! and when she realized I didn't care she says : "Oh well I just wanted to ask because I saw we have the same kind of hair"


In my head I was like "no we don't"
Originally Posted by foreverturtles
Continuing to cry. Once I was wading around in my old pool while tanning and this guy swims up to me like, "I just wanted to ask, are you both?" And I looked at him like, "Both??? Both what?" So he's like, "You know...black and white..." And I go, "Oh you mean like a zebra? Nope!"

Like seriously where do people learn manners?
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Grand Duchess Fierce Freckles, Mistress of the Mighty Snap and Doyenne of the Potent Products Pavane in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
LOL. I get that all the time too. I just want to be like leave me alone! Even though I am mixed.

When I was at work this lady had long curly 3c hair, I didn't think anything of it. And she comes up to me and goes
"what are you mixed with?"
and I said "...uh...black"
and then she says "and what else?"

and then I said: "white?" and she was like "oh that's it?"

I was like well damn sorry I'm not all that special for you I mean my mother is german and polish but she's still white well sorrrrry. And then she told me everything she was mixed with and I just stared at her and was like "okay" CAUSE I DON'T CARE! and when she realized I didn't care she says : "Oh well I just wanted to ask because I saw we have the same kind of hair"


In my head I was like "no we don't"
Originally Posted by foreverturtles
Continuing to cry. Once I was wading around in my old pool while tanning and this guy swims up to me like, "I just wanted to ask, are you both?" And I looked at him like, "Both??? Both what?" So he's like, "You know...black and white..." And I go, "Oh you mean like a zebra? Nope!"

Like seriously where do people learn manners?
Originally Posted by EllyEllyOxenFree
omg I just snorted

BOTH AHAHHAHHAHHHAHHAHH I am rolling.
People have asked me that before. I believe it has less to do with my kinks and more to do with my eye and skin color. Someone actually came up to me and asked if if i was i told them and preceded to tell me i got something in me. Really!? I don't think I'm that light more or less on the carmel side. But I have seen mixed ppl darker then me. My mommys cocoa and my dad was light mixed with a little white. Most ppl in America have some mixing somewhere in their line. My thing is does it matter? I don't think so

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