Are you mixed?

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beeduh - I hope you didn't think my comment was directed toward you! omg - that is so not what I meant. Absolutely not - in any way. I loved what you wrote, and it gave me a new way of understanding why others may be curious about heritage. Our current pathetic political climate is making everybody a little paranoid, I think, myself included. When I read your post I realized that in a "melting pot", everyone should take an interest in the history and stories of others. When you said how a lady asked your husband if he was mixed, I saw it as a way of connection; breaking down the ridiculous barriers set in place by colonialists.

I'm sad that you live in a place where race is a "huge issue", because that sounds like there are a lot of difficulties and pain, and you are obviously way above that nonsense. You're a classy woman with beautiful curls!
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Last edited by gardencurls; 03-22-2012 at 04:15 PM.
Gardencurls, I wasn't sure if you were referring to me or not but I replied back anyway. I wasnt offended or anything. :]

I personally haven't dealt with a lot of racism, but I know a lot of people around here still do. Especially if they are so called "mixed". I think more people should look passed skin color. The color of someone's skin has nothing to do with what kind of person they are. Just because your skin looks a certain way means your this kind of person mentality really gets on my nerves around here. Ya know?
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I'm Caucasian (both of my parents were born in Italy) but people have asked me if I'm sure there's no African in me because my hair is so curly (mix of 3b, 3c and some 4a). I've also been asked if I'm Jewish because of my hair.
Originally Posted by Teresina
I get the "are you Jewish?" thing alot as well, which irratates me to no end in all the assumptions that represents.

I get the "what is she?/are they?" comments in regards to my daughters when my husbandisnt with us. I usually respond with "a girl!" or "human!"

Im caucasian American and my husband is a fairly light skinned Mexican.... But in our very white neighborhood back in the US people thought my daughters are sooo " tan" . We now live in Mexico and everywheere we go people call the three of us girls "gueras" /white . Funnyhow things change dependingon context, isnt it?

Im so sorry that there are so many prejudiced people out there. We are all beautiful, no matter our "mix" .
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I'm Caucasian (both of my parents were born in Italy) but people have asked me if I'm sure there's no African in me because my hair is so curly (mix of 3b, 3c and some 4a). I've also been asked if I'm Jewish because of my hair.
Originally Posted by Teresina
I get the "are you Jewish?" thing alot as well, which irratates me to no end in all the assumptions that represents.

I get the "what is she?/are they?" comments in regards to my daughters when my husbandisnt with us. I usually respond with "a girl!" or "human!"

Im caucasian American and my husband is a fairly light skinned Mexican.... But in our very white neighborhood back in the US people thought my daughters are sooo " tan" . We now live in Mexico and everywheere we go people call the three of us girls "gueras" /white . Funnyhow things change dependingon context, isnt it?

Im so sorry that there are so many prejudiced people out there. We are all beautiful, no matter our "mix" .
Originally Posted by curlimami


Lol! I love your response to the first bolded comment!

To the second, I agree with your sentiment. If only more people thought the same.
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- oh boy ; my mix is of scottish irish japanese spanish indian and black. it shows in my facial features but not my hair (darnit) but being born in Jamaica, (my skin easily tans but never goes away ) my skin got dark and the Japanese kicked in by my cheek bones and eye shape . no one believes everything else though

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This is a great thread.

I never got asked "what are you?" until I moved to a big city. I was completely floored. It is an intriguing question, but seemed to resonate (with me) as being incredibly personal. Not sure why, but it felt akin to asking me my age or weight. My initial response was "um, American?" (yes, I said it questioningly, because I wasn't entirely sure what they were asking), their response was "No, what are you?"
It has been my experience that the people who ask this question our looking for a specific answer and that is the only answer they will accept. If they like you they will keep going until you confirm that you share their heritage. If they don't they will keep going until you confirm that you do not share their heritage. Occasionally, I will have someone I have known well for a while ask this question, when that happens I just talk openly about it, because sometimes people are just curious.
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Last edited by CurlyFireHorse; 03-23-2012 at 01:00 PM.
People don't ask me what I am. They assume I'm dark skinned hispanic or If I'm in an Indian populated area they think i'm black/indian.

My mom is black/indian my dad is black/native american. Usually one would say I'm black but there's "something"
When I lived in California everyone knew I was mixed because (I assume) there are so many of us mixed kids there. Now living on the East Coast, I usually just get asked if I'm Latina (as if multiracial people don't exist, that baffles me). Regardless of all that, I do however get asked from time to time if I'm mixed, but more often I'm asking people what ethnicity are they! I don't mean it to be offensive, and I know people are offended by it sometimes. But, for me, I'm so curious about other cultures and the rest of the world that it's a natural question. I'm just curious to know what people everywhere look like. I rarely ask anyone because of their hair, I probably don't pay much attention to it, as I'm aware people can have any type of hair. I would guess its people's overall appearance that makes me curious. If you're not the stereotypical looking black or white person chances are I'm asking you you're ethnicity. And, if it were easier to distinguish exactly what country our European and African ancestors came from in this country I'd be asking every white and black American their ethnicity as well! I don't want to know people's race, because that is simply a matter of color.. well what color is your skin? Now, I've got your race. But, I find it terribly interesting to see how many different looks people of each country can have. Sorry, for those of you who are offended by nosey people like me, but I assure you most of us mean no harm! Especially, for someone like myself who experiences similar questions, for me it just isn't a personal question.

P.S.

I'm also sorry for the lengthy essay I just wrote.
It seems to me some biracial people who dont want to choose one race or the other (which I dont think they should have to) have created a backlash against biracial people who CHOOSE to identify themselves as one race. I have many friends who are black and something else but they consider themselves black. And i have many filipino and white friends who say they are filipino. It is their perogative and nothing to do with denying their heritage.
I had a coworker who is black say something about my race recently and I said I am black. He said I must be mixed with something because of my hair. I said nothing but was offended. If I say im black then Im black. Just because I have light skin and freckles doesnt compel me to have to self identify as mixed race as some people on here suggest.
Originally Posted by adthomas
I can identify with this, because, I too, identify as a black woman. So, for those, who don't feel that we should be offended, because we "obviously look mixed", it is an insult to our blackness. It is, as if, to say that a black person cannot be light skinned or have curly or long hair. As least, for me, that is what goes through my mind. Likewise, when I hear "well you're only half", it is to deny my blackness. I am aware that I'm mixed, that I'm in fact also half-white, but I do not feel white at all. I walk through life as a black woman, and don't you dare try to take that away from me, for it is not an easy way to walk through life to begin with. With that said, we've taken the conversation away from hair to race. But, I understand how others may not or do not mean it offensively, as I certainly mean no harm when I ask people what their ethnicity is. I suppose we all are sensitive to different things.
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It seems to me some biracial people who dont want to choose one race or the other (which I dont think they should have to) have created a backlash against biracial people who CHOOSE to identify themselves as one race. I have many friends who are black and something else but they consider themselves black. And i have many filipino and white friends who say they are filipino. It is their perogative and nothing to do with denying their heritage.
I had a coworker who is black say something about my race recently and I said I am black. He said I must be mixed with something because of my hair. I said nothing but was offended. If I say im black then Im black. Just because I have light skin and freckles doesnt compel me to have to self identify as mixed race as some people on here suggest.
Originally Posted by adthomas
I can identify with this, because, I too, identify as a black woman. So, for those, who don't feel that we should be offended, because we "obviously look mixed", it is an insult to our blackness. It is, as if, to say that a black person cannot be light skinned or have curly or long hair. As least, for me, that is what goes through my mind. Likewise, when I hear "well you're only half", it is to deny my blackness. I am aware that I'm mixed, that I'm in fact also half-white, but I do not feel white at all. I walk through life as a black woman, and don't you dare try to take that away from me, for it is not an easy way to walk through life to begin with. With that said, we've taken the conversation away from hair to race. But, I understand how others may not or do not mean it offensively, as I certainly mean no harm when I ask people what their ethnicity is. I suppose we all are sensitive to different things.
Originally Posted by ellejae
I hear you and I respect where you're coming from.

I agree...we all feel differently when it comes to certain things.

Now as I said before, being thought of as mixed isn't necessarily an insult to one's Blackness (at least not in my mind). A person can be both. I also identify as black, but I will also say "yes" if somebody asks whether I am of mixed heritage. I see no need to hide it. Maybe when I was younger but not anymore.

Besides, the conversation is about both hair and race because this is one of the ways people try to determine somebody's ethnic background. Sometimes people look at a person with a different hair type and they are curious/confused, whether it is due to ignorance or lack of education. Some people just don't understand the concept of diversity or they assume that people of a certain ethnic group are supposed to look a certain way.

Likewise, some people see a very light-skinned person who identifies as Black and they question that. It says more about the person asking the questions than it does about you. That is all I meant. I know it can be annoying to have people question your identity and your heritage, but as long as you know who you are, no one can take that away from you.

I hate being questioned about my heritage as well but at the end of the day, I realize that the questions come from ignorance or simple curiosity.

I'm not sure who you were directing some of your statement at, but I apologize if I offended you.

Anyway, I was simply sharing my perspective. I truly meant no disrespect to you or anybody else.
Haha!!! People dont have to ask with me. They already assume I am. Some people ask. But I have 3c hair with 3b and a Lil 4a thrown in, hazel-green eyes that turn completely green sometimes, light brown/blonde hair and right now it's getting hotter, so I have a dark tan xD doesn't get weirder than this! I'm native American , black and white
It seems to me some biracial people who dont want to choose one race or the other (which I dont think they should have to) have created a backlash against biracial people who CHOOSE to identify themselves as one race. I have many friends who are black and something else but they consider themselves black. And i have many filipino and white friends who say they are filipino. It is their perogative and nothing to do with denying their heritage.
I had a coworker who is black say something about my race recently and I said I am black. He said I must be mixed with something because of my hair. I said nothing but was offended. If I say im black then Im black. Just because I have light skin and freckles doesnt compel me to have to self identify as mixed race as some people on here suggest.
Originally Posted by adthomas
This is an interesting perspective. I agree with everyone's right to identify as they see fit. I am of mixed race and that is how I see myself, although I'm often assumed to be white or Latina or even Asian, depending on who is looking at me. Nope, I'm just black and white with a bit of Indian thrown into the mix. I embrace both sides of my heritage.

But I disagree with you on something...your coworker most likely is going by what he sees. I'm not sure why you would be offended if somebody thinks you might be biracial or multiracial. It's not an insult. Obviously he can tell that you are mixed with something besides black. I am VERY proud of my black heritage, but I also know that my appearance is not what people typically think of when they think of a Black woman. I'm very fair-skinned with "white" features, but my hair is kinky...that is the only feature that makes people question my ethnicity. The questions/comments/stares are annoying, but it is part of being mixed.

Some people can tell I'm mixed, some can't. It is what it is. You have the right to be who you are and to identify as you see fit, but some people will wonder if you are mixed because of your phenotype. It kind of comes with the territory. As long as you are secure in your identity, it doesn't matter what others think.

And I'm not sure how some biracials have created a backlash against other mixed-race people because it comes down to the fact that identity is a very personal thing. No one can define it for you. They can try, but only you know who you are. When somebody asks what my race is (I hate that question), I tell them I'm mixed and keep it moving. Saying that you are mixed doesn't mean that you are denying your black heritage or negating that part of yourself.
Originally Posted by curlyhoneyb
I wasnt offended he "asked" me about being mixed. Im not biracial. I have Choctaw blood but it was my great great grandmother. To be honest what person is 100 anything if their family has been in the US a long time. I choose to identify as black. I was offended that i told him Im black and he insisted Im not which I think is disrespectful. I dont think being taken for mixed or for black is an insult. However, Just like if you told me you're mixed and I argued with you that you were just black that would be wrong.
BTW i went to Africa a few years ago and saw lots of people my complexion.
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Hmm I get this question.. And while it does take me aback for a second, I simply say yes.
I used to get very annoyed with it and say "no" or "probably most certainly the yes of a no" (haha) but I realized, I shouldn't get mad at all from such an inquiry.
I mean, while probably 3% of the people on this planet aren't mixed based on race.. Everyone else pretty much is. But.. That's based on the beginning of time pretty much lol.
If we're choosing to refer to what our individual features come from, then that's a grey area technically.
Anyway... This question is nothing to be offended about or shunned in any way since your own personal heritage should be cherished and accepted by yourself.
And I've had people basically say "Nuuh! You're just [insert race]!" I learned to shrug and pity the fool because I am what I am and I'm proud lol. Sucks that they can't see beyond what they are accustomed to and get over themselves with that mentality. Tsk Tsk. So yeah.(:


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I'm coming from kind of a spiritual perspective. My pastors are a married couple. The wife and her brother each have a black mother and their father is puerto rian. When you see my pastor, she just looks like a light skinned black woman. Like me, her hair is scared of water...major shrinkage. But her brother has the flyyest "S" curl pattern. He's married to a black woman and their children have his hair exactly.

My pastor was teaching at bible study one night and told us that "seeing our differences in ethnicity and complexions and hair textures is fine....but we shouldn't be all wrapped up in it. I'm mixed with so much stuff I don't know what I am! Our true identities are in Christ. Look at all the different shades and races in here. Yet we all look alike because we have the same Father. What I'm mixed with doesn't matter. I'm a child of the Living God."

And why does society want so badly for mixed people to choose? Where I grew up, everyone stuck to the one-drop rule. But I find the mixes so beautiful and interesting. It's exciting to me to see what gene will dominate. I'm so into those details (complexion, eye color, facial features, hair color and texture) that I don't have the energy to get caught up in the one-drop rule...... So Claudia Jordan isn't black or white. She's Claudia Jordan.

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I completely understand where your coming from. But I am mixed my mom is a dark skin african american women ,my father is a caucasian. which is less common tipically its a white women and black man that make mix babys. but due to my skin color people assume im a light skin black girl or i must be haspanic. My parents are devorced my mom is now w/ a black man && my dad is re-married to a white women. so whether im w/ my mom or my dad either way me and my sister look like we dnt belong. So I deal w/ race questions just about every day. so It could be worst... But mixing diffrent races is something that world is not use to. but enjoy your curls there what makes you ,you. I have a friend that is 100% white w/ long tighly curled hair so your not the only one in this world that get asked there somthing that there not.
That reality irritates me exceedingly....that's such a mess! When you and/or your sis are with either parent, I'd see a few people together doin what they do. And "looks like we don't belong?" It amazes me how people can be all up in folks' Kool-aid about that when people been havin mixed babies for ages. I got mixed cousins and nieces!

But I guess I know the feeling. My church is small so we hang out sometimes. And to some people we look like and odd, unlikely group bcuz of the different races as well as the male/female ratio. Not quite like the race thing but there is a slight similarity.

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Haha never mind being asked if your mixed. Ive been asked if Im adopted o_O. I think its the combination of my tallness (Im 5'10 and taller than both my parents and my sister) and my hair. Both my parents have straight hair and so does my sister. But I have the same facial features as my family (My Mom's blue eyes, My Dad's nose, my sisters complexion) yet people are still ignorant enough to asume that Im adopted or mixed because I have curly hair. Its not the idea of being mixed or adopted that pisses me off. Its that people believe I can't be white and have curly hair. Or that I should have every single feature my family does.

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The thing I love about being mixed is that everywhere I go (Mexico, Morocco, Spain, Egypt...), people speak to me in their own language. They accept me for one of their own. Too bad I don't speak another language well enough to pass myself off.
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That is one of the top reasons I love being mixed too! People always think I'm from a lot of different places, and in reality I am, it's just nice to know that people from all sorts of different parts of the globe can identify with me. It does make it easy to fit in, pretty much everywhere I go.

I speak a few languages though, it makes it even easier to blend in!
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