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-   -   Are you mixed? (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/hall-shame-discussion/113366-you-mixed.html)

rolltidegal 09-16-2010 08:30 AM

Are you mixed?
 
I get asked this question a whole lot. I'm not. I'm white. My mom is Irish, my dad is Italian. I have blue eyes and freckles. My hair is dark brown with a little bit of red. I'm white.

But I get asked this question completely randomly, and I was wondering if anyone else got it a lot. People ask when they meet me, whenever I offhandedly mention something about my hair, or occasionally at the cash register at Bojangles' (I kid you not, the cashier asked me once). I have 3Cish hair, I think, and I'll get some pictures up here eventually. I was just wondering if anyone else gets the question, and how you respond if you do (once someone actually didn't believe me, which was an interesting moment).

porque_pig 09-16-2010 08:55 AM

I have not had that experience (I'm just a wavy), but I would probably get annoyed over time with such a question. If it makes you feel any better, I don't exactly find a visit to Bojangles to be an enlightening cultural experience (although it is usually a delicious one).

I wish people would develop some kind of filter. Nothing irritates me more than extremely personal questions, and that would definitely fall into that category.

*Marah* 09-16-2010 09:56 AM

I am mixed. Yes, I get the question and I know it's because of my hair. Cause otherwise I definitely look like a person of color...and they are usually looking directly at my hair when they ask. And I know it's because they don't expect a black person to have looser curls and a soft look to their hair in it's natural state...so they assume that I MUST be mixed with something other than black cause how else could I have this hair... silly, nu ? LOL!

I think what's happening with you as a white person is that a sterotype may be being placed on you because of what your hair looks like.. people generally associate tighter curls with people of color..specifically black people.

So they probably think your hair is a give away that you are mixed with black which is a big misconception considering the fact that the majority of the world actually does have curly hair it's just in certain countries straightening the hair is so popular you can never tell who has curly or kinky hair...and white women that actually do have very tight curl patterns are rarely seen because they almost always straighten it. So when someone actually see a white person that wears their natural hair in it's normal very curly state..they feel the need to justify it some how..so they assume.. "Oh she must be part black."

And btw, plenty of people of color have freckles and light eyes and well anyone can dye their hair so those are not traits exclusive to white people so that alone wouldn't neccessarily make people think you should be excluded from being mixed.

So I think it's probably some silly ignorant assumption they make about you based on your hair.

I have to admit..it made me giggle that you put "I'm white" twice. I felt like saying.. "Hey .. hey..I believe ya!" :toothy3:

BigHairLala 09-16-2010 10:33 AM

I only get it from others who are mixed. Or rather, they make a point of asking my background, not assuming that I am mixed.

Most folks see me as Italian, which I am,partly. I've got some stereotypical, darker Italian features/coloring. But, surprise, my Italian relatives are fair with lighter eyes. Joke's on people who make assumptions.

I am Italian, Scottish, Russian, Slovenian and drum roll please, Jamaican. Folks who ask my background are usually of some mixed background themselves. N. Africans ask me often too. Algerian, Moroccan, Egyptian.

I just answer the question and explain my background. I often enjoy surprising people.

missbanjo 09-16-2010 10:39 AM

That's the thing, you know? Pretty much nobody knows where their ancestor(s) came from 5-6-700 (or more) years ago.

Sydkneee 09-16-2010 01:49 PM

Yes; I have but it was a LONG time ago in Elementary School. It was really outta the blue; one of my friends just asked me "Hey, are you mixed because you don't look completely black." Haha.

Alice9nobara 09-16-2010 05:05 PM

I get this question every now and again. But, I've never been offended by it or anything... I don't see how it would be offensive....

kiwi2cute 09-16-2010 06:33 PM

haha... Sometimes I get asked if I am mixed but not because of my hair. Sometimes people I think are curious because they unknowingly stereotype people based on hair and features. I have full lips and a non wider bridged nose. I am hispanic (puerto rican)... I have olive colored complexion. I no longer get upset but explain my background. My grandmother is dark where as my grandfather was fair skinned. I have cousins with blonde hair and blue eyes with beautiful curly hair. I have cousins that are beautiful caramel complexion with 4b/c curls. So you never know just by looking at the exterior. People are curious and sometimes explaining helps educate others...

rolltidegal 09-16-2010 11:24 PM

It doesn't upset/offend me, I just find it kind of strange. And I was extremely confused with how to proceed the time the person who asked didn't believe me when I said I wasn't mixed. It's just kind of a bizarre question to get, I think. I dunno. Maybe that's just me.

straightkinky 09-17-2010 02:38 AM

I dont get that question but my son does. He is very light skinned (because he dresses like he's afraid of the sun) and his fro is really light brown, almost blonde. Kids in his class see me and ask him if his dad is caucasian all the time. Even when he tells them no, they don't believe him.

hoho 09-17-2010 04:26 AM

I think you have the courage to speak out, I admire you, you are a great woman.

kiwi2cute 09-17-2010 06:42 AM

If they don't believe you that's there problem. You are what you are and no one can tell you otherwise. Keep shinning and keep being you ;)

TheGnome 09-17-2010 05:00 PM

I usually get asked where I'm from, but I'm not sure that's because of the hair. Still fairly odd, though. For the record I am Arab, although my father is from the North African countries and my mother is Middle Eastern. Most people don't believe this because I am not black, and apparently everyone living in Africa is black *rolls eyes*

pinkd78 09-17-2010 05:33 PM

Yes, very, actually my family is mixed with nearly every ethinicity on both sides, south and east asian, latino, black and white.

But directly I am black mixed with latino and chinese, some white.
From Father half latino (cuban), half black

Mother:1/4 chinese, black , white.

I have had people think that I am south asian, when i am not, sine I have feautres from all ethnicities, latino nose lips, slight asian like resembling eyes, lighter skin tone.

adthomas 09-17-2010 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rolltidegal (Post 1471653)
I get asked this question a whole lot. I'm not. I'm white. My mom is Irish, my dad is Italian. I have blue eyes and freckles. My hair is dark brown with a little bit of red. I'm white.

But I get asked this question completely randomly, and I was wondering if anyone else got it a lot. People ask when they meet me, whenever I offhandedly mention something about my hair, or occasionally at the cash register at Bojangles' (I kid you not, the cashier asked me once). I have 3Cish hair, I think, and I'll get some pictures up here eventually. I was just wondering if anyone else gets the question, and how you respond if you do (once someone actually didn't believe me, which was an interesting moment).

After traveling outside the US, I noticed we put more emphasis on White and Black than other countries. What makes a person Black or White or whatever? I 'd always considered myself Black but I'm noticing a lot of people from other races (Arabs, Asians, ect.) that have the same hue or darker skin than I do. And my family has lots of freckles. You said you're half Italian. A lot of Italians I know don't consider themselves White. Even get mad if you call them White. Maybe it's because there is so much North African ancestry in Italy and other Mediterranean countries. You could very well have some "Black" in you. When I was in Morocco, people kept asking me if I was Indian.

subbrock 09-17-2010 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marah Mizrahi (Post 1471745)
I am mixed. Yes, I get the question and I know it's because of my hair. Cause otherwise I definitely look like a person of color...and they are usually looking directly at my hair when they ask. And I know it's because they don't expect a black person to have looser curls and a soft look to their hair in it's natural state...so they assume that I MUST be mixed with something other than black cause how else could I have this hair... silly, nu ? LOL!

all of this...except i'm not biracial. :)

i think once i get past the ignorance of "you can't be *insert race here* because of your hair" the only thing i find super annoying and maybe even slightly offensive is when somebody insists that i'm lying. why lie about it??? its not that serious!

twirlygranny 09-17-2010 08:46 PM

People are so ignorant, they don't even know that Africans have wavy, curly & kinky hair. I'm black and don't have light skin but because of my hair, I've had people ask me if I am or are my parents are mixed. LOL...I'm just a black person with curly hair like both my parents. I haven't researched my racial history and really don't care. And the funny thing is that it's always black people that are questioning me.

roseannadana 09-18-2010 07:57 AM

Nobody has asked me if I'm mixed but I have been asked, "what are you, anyway?" I don't find it annoying as much as a telling about the virtual stranger who would ask such a personal question. Close friends who've asked me get a pass because it's a chance for me to educate them that curly hair isn't "owned" by any particular race.

veezor 09-22-2010 03:04 PM

People don't ask if I'm mixed but "what are you". It's a curse of being olive skinned (avatar picture is flushed) and curly haired. I've been asked if I was everything from part african to hawaiian to japanese! (I dunno, people are WEIRD.) I am a mut to say the least, my curly hair comes from the Cuban/Sicilian side of my family whereas my mother's side is mainland northern Italians (typically fairer in features), Austrian, and English. I went to a family reunion once and it was one of the most uncomfortable situations of my young adult life! Being asked not only "what are you" but "who's are you?". :sad3:

FairlyCurly 09-23-2010 06:41 AM

Yes, I'm half Sicilian and half Ulster Scots and I have been asked if I'm half Caucasian and half African-American. It's usually African-Americans who ask me if I'm half African. Sicilians have African and Arab blood in them, so I guess I am a mixture of continents. I also get mistaken for being Greek or East European. I definitely don't look Ulster Scots, as I was reminded of when I visited Northern Ireland last year. I mean, I loved Northern Ireland and I had a great time there, but you do get stared at a lot if you look so-called "ethnic."


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