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Old 08-13-2011, 12:48 PM   #1
 
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Default Ever felt like you hated your curly hair?

I have thick, really curly, and puffy hair. My hair kind of looks like Slash from Gun's N Roses. My family hates my hair. My dad always makes comments like, "It's so dry you need to condition it and get it straightened!" Once my uncle's wife said flat out that she didn't like my hair. She was like trying to start trouble with me. But I can't help the way my hair is. I don't straighten my hair every week because it would damage my hair even more and also because I work out a lot. My hair is dry because I am anemic and suffer from depression. I heard anemia and depression can make hair dry. My parents are a bit ignorant and refuse to believe I am depressed. No matter how hard I try to fix my hair it goes dry so I know it's definitely my mental health state. I've also tried to make my hair flatter but as soon as I go out POOF! I don't ever attract guys and I think it's because my hair is so dry and poofy. As of now I hate my hair! I am now wishing I had straight hair. I am actually considering going for the Japanese straightening iron. Anyone else feel this way at times or most times?
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Old 08-13-2011, 12:52 PM   #2
 
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Oops I meant Japanese straightening perm.
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Old 08-13-2011, 01:47 PM   #3
 
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yeah, I go through times where I absolutely hate my hair...I just don't want to take care of it and when it straight you really don't have to do anything with it. And then I think what if I could change my hair forever... what if it would always be straight would I do it? No, I won't... I like my hair, it's different then most other girls and it's part of me. I think everyone goes through a time of hating their hair..
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Old 08-13-2011, 01:48 PM   #4
 
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i do alot lol and i think your hair loses moisture easily when you wet it and moisturize try putting any oil especially cocounut it can reli help keep it moisturized
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Old 08-13-2011, 01:53 PM   #5
 
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So if I put product in my hair after washing when the hair has dried it will make a difference?
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:48 PM   #6
 
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I know how you feel! I really don't like my curly hair a lot of times too. But that's only because I'm just insecure in general. If I really loved myself, I'd embrace me, and my hair, for what it really is. That's the only way to achieve true happiness.

What are you doing to combat the frizz? I say the key to frizz free hair is a good regimen- shampooing only when necessary (dirty hair), conditioning regularly with a leave-in, and a gel or cream based styling product to help seal in the moisture and prevent frizz.

Good luck chica.
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Old 08-15-2011, 06:11 AM   #7
 
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I just egg and olive oiled my hair. Now it's not frizzy but the tightness of the curls annoy me No matter how hard I try to loosen them they never become loose!
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Old 08-19-2011, 06:59 PM   #8
 
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I'm so sorry you are feeling that way.
There was a time when I, too, was suffering from health problems resulting in anemia, and consequently dry hair (and dry nails).
I was relaxing my hair at the time because I had always hated my 3C-4A (thick, poofy, tight curls).
Although, the health problems were taken care of long ago, I still didn't know what else to do with my hair, until I stumbled across this site several years ago.

I stopped relaxing and using my flatiron, and though the transition was frustrating, I learned to love my curls. (I realized that, if God gave me tight curls, it's because He knows it looks better on me than straight hair!)

It took some experimentation, but I found some inexpensive products that have helped moisturize my hair. I detangle with Renpure (the red bottle) and once out of the shower, while my hair is wet I use Tresemme Naturals as a leave in conditioner. (Sometimes I'll add some shea butter and jojoba oil to seal in the moisture.)

Anyway, I've accepted that my curls will always shrink up and poof, but it's very healthy and moisturized, and that should be your goal.

Also, try to drink lots of water and eat healthy.

Remember, you are beautiful inside and out, and I hope you get to feeling better soon.
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Old 09-07-2011, 08:04 AM   #9
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoriaM View Post
I have thick, really curly, and puffy hair. My hair kind of looks like Slash from Gun's N Roses. My family hates my hair. My dad always makes comments like, "It's so dry you need to condition it and get it straightened!" Once my uncle's wife said flat out that she didn't like my hair. She was like trying to start trouble with me. But I can't help the way my hair is. I don't straighten my hair every week because it would damage my hair even more and also because I work out a lot. My hair is dry because I am anemic and suffer from depression. I heard anemia and depression can make hair dry. My parents are a bit ignorant and refuse to believe I am depressed. No matter how hard I try to fix my hair it goes dry so I know it's definitely my mental health state. I've also tried to make my hair flatter but as soon as I go out POOF! I don't ever attract guys and I think it's because my hair is so dry and poofy. As of now I hate my hair! I am now wishing I had straight hair. I am actually considering going for the Japanese straightening iron. Anyone else feel this way at times or most times?
I'm sorry to hear you're so sad but are you sure straightening your hair would solve your problems? You're depressed but depression isn't caused by curly hair and straight hair isn't the key to instant happiness either hon.

On that note, have you tried regularly (like every week or two) deep conditioning your hair? I know for mine it's a must or I stay looking like a black sheep Also co-washing a cpl times a week would help too as well as taking vitamins and drinking a lot of water everyday. Finding good products to hold your styles also helps.

As far as your family maybe it'd help if you helped educate them to cure their "ignorance" on either your depression or how beauty isn't just about having sleek hair. Either way it sounds like you need more support from them (bump your hatin auntie btw) and maybe you should start with that before anything else. Just food for thought
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Old 09-09-2011, 11:46 AM   #10
 
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Well young lady, I would LOVE to have hair like Slash so it looks like I am envious of YOU, too
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Old 09-09-2011, 12:19 PM   #11
 
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i think we all have those moments.
but i think it just gets better with time. I at my current length have days i love it! and days where i am just ugh about it.

-hug- i hope it gets better for you. and don't let your family get you down because theres nothing wrong with you or your hair. eventually they'll accept it and if they don't at least you will, your fine the way you are.
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Old 09-09-2011, 12:30 PM   #12
 
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I struggle with mine. I see hairstyles I would love to have but hair is too curly and thicck to do them. I get tired of being limited. I also hate when women argue with me that my hair isn't natural they always want to argue it is a perm

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Old 09-19-2011, 10:47 PM   #13
 
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I've hated my hair almost all my life. When I was little, I thought all the other girls were prettier than me cause they had straight hair. My mom swears that one year I asked the mall Santa for straight hair.

I'm sorry you don't like your hair Victoria. Have you found anyone good at cutting curly hair? I know that made a big difference to me - once I found someone who could keep it from turning into a big stiff triangle I found that I actually had fun wearing it curly.
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Old 09-20-2011, 06:14 PM   #14
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoriaM View Post
I just egg and olive oiled my hair. Now it's not frizzy but the tightness of the curls annoy me No matter how hard I try to loosen them they never become loose!
Love your tight curls!! Curls are!
A- exotic
B- exiting
C. unique!
That's just a little bit of it !! <3

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Old 09-21-2011, 09:55 PM   #15
 
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Alright, sweetheart. I don't know how long your hair is BUT if you dislike frizz and want some length:
Condition. Like how it feels? Splendid. Detangle your hair with your fingers in the shower and keep adding conditioner until your hands run through like butter. After you've rinsed it out, feel free to give a good t shirt blot so dripping won't distract you from applying the same conditioner (or a bottle that says "leave in conditioner"), and add these other options: an oil, a gel (everyone likes gel gel gel right?) ...all of your choosing. If you have Slash length hair, I imagine you can make two braids from each side of your head, if that sounds too painful, do two handfuls of hair on each side and twist them. Keep the two braids/twists (of course, as many as you want) until your hair is dry/semi dry. Meanwhile, you will have a rilly cute hairstyle 'til your hair is ready to unravel( I'm 34 and I still look cute as HELL with two braids, hee ha).

The first few times may be a miss. It happens. And the first time may be a win

You'll get the hang of it...but if you really don't enjoy your hair curly (though i know it's beautiful) you'll have to check out the rest of the board to figure out which is worse: chemically straightening and/or flat ironing.

Don't give up yet,please.
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Old 09-26-2011, 06:09 AM   #16
 
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I'm in this period RIGHT NOW. My hair keeps bouncing back from 3c/3b to 4a/4b and I can't figure out why. And its THIRSTY. Its like I wake up sometimes and my hair is switched with someone elses. And I can never tell if it's shedding or breaking though I've never once used heat on it (since going natural). I'm trying not to take the "easy" way out and relax.
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Old 10-13-2011, 01:39 PM   #17
 
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Hun you aren't alone but to give you some perspective...I used to cry when I was a kid b/c I would get horrible haircuts that just didnt accent my curls and some mean kids with straightish hair would tease b/c they just weren't used to the hair or get it...My parents didn't have curly (mom had wavy) so they didn't know what to do with it...I went through a period of straightening my hair as a teen and in my early 20s when i realized I could with all the new irons and tools out there...but I have to tell you after all that i realized i needed some more self love, not just for my hair but in general...im in my late 20s now but ive learned to accept myself in a lot of ways more and more (though im still working on it, its a life long journey) so much so that i wear my hair curly 90%of the time...ive experimented w/ different hair colors and lengths, as well as products...have you thought of a different color or of maybe cutting a bit to get it healthier? I just cut off some length after highlights and my hair is a bit healthier...dyed it back brown...sometimes changing the hair color is an instant pick me up and a lot of dyes are healthier now (not so much with the highlights be careful)...either way I hope you find what works for you and you love yourself (that includes your hair--all of you) completely no matter what anyone else has to say...YOU decide how you want to wear your hair and how you want to put yourself out there to the world! Good luck
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Old 10-13-2011, 02:10 PM   #18
 
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Yes. Im at that stage now. My hair is soooo dry n greasy. I'm so frustrated.

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Old 10-13-2011, 02:28 PM   #19
 
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Heck, yeah! My hair was the embarrassment of my life. And it was a family joke as well. Both my grandmothers (who both wore wigs every day of their entire lives) used to act like I styled my hair exclusively to piss them off. My hair has tamed down a lot since I've gotten older, and had 3 babies, and lots of life stuff, but there's definitely a younger inner me who will never forget the embarassment and frustration caused by my hair.

I think Slash is beautiful, and I'd love to have his hair. So I'm jealous of you!

Your mention of depression raises the hairs on the back of my neck. I'm a Mom...can't help it. Anemia can cause depression-like symptoms, as well as dry, brittle hair, so be sure to take your Iron!!!! In addition to anemia, hormone imbalances, diet, and medications affect hair quite a bit. Take care of yourself.

My 17 year-old son has The Hair (and Slash is his idol), and the older he gets the longer he grows his hair. It's become a bit of a signature look for him. Even though he has to wear headbands in Marching Band, and endure ignorant comments from relatives, he's embraced the idea that it's part of his "look" and he rarely gets upset about it. He knows that as he gets older it will be harder and harder to get away with wearing his hair in a fun way, due to uptight employers, etc. so I truly hope he enjoys it while he can.

Honestly, there's a time in your life where you just have to (privately) tell others to go-to-you-know-where. I'm cheering all of CurlyQ82's great advice. She said it better than I ever could, but do have fun with your hair.
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Old 10-13-2011, 04:25 PM   #20
 
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Heck, yeah! My hair was the embarrassment of my life. And it was a family joke as well. Both my grandmothers (who both wore wigs every day of their entire lives) used to act like I styled my hair exclusively to piss them off. My hair has tamed down a lot since I've gotten older, and had 3 babies, and lots of life stuff, but there's definitely a younger inner me who will never forget the embarassment and frustration caused by my hair.

I think Slash is beautiful, and I'd love to have his hair. So I'm jealous of you!

Your mention of depression raises the hairs on the back of my neck. I'm a Mom...can't help it. Anemia can cause depression-like symptoms, as well as dry, brittle hair, so be sure to take your Iron!!!! In addition to anemia, hormone imbalances, diet, and medications affect hair quite a bit. Take care of yourself.

My 17 year-old son has The Hair (and Slash is his idol), and the older he gets the longer he grows his hair. It's become a bit of a signature look for him. Even though he has to wear headbands in Marching Band, and endure ignorant comments from relatives, he's embraced the idea that it's part of his "look" and he rarely gets upset about it. He knows that as he gets older it will be harder and harder to get away with wearing his hair in a fun way, due to uptight employers, etc. so I truly hope he enjoys it while he can.

Honestly, there's a time in your life where you just have to (privately) tell others to go-to-you-know-where. I'm cheering all of CurlyQ82's great advice. She said it better than I ever could, but do have fun with your hair.
Garden thank u for your cheers You always hope your negative experiences can help someone else...i really did cry my eyes out and wish for straight hair as a kid and never learned to appreciate it until now...and its certainly not perfect adn i go through days when i hate it, but it makes me unique in some ways and makes me me! I love your mom's perspective Garden and I also think you brought up a good point with the health issues. Usually when your hair isnt at it's best (its not just a genetic texture issue) it can be a sign of a health issue...do make sure your drs check for thyroid issues or hormonal imbalances...I have PCOS (hormonal imbalance) and that can affect hair...Again best of luck to all really who are struggling with self acceptance (hair and beyond!)
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