Dumbest comment regarding your hair?

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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 279

Friend's roommate: "You NEVER brush it? That's really disgusting."

I wanted to reply with "Yeah, and so is your personality." Maybe next time
Originally Posted by Edie
Someone else once told me this too and it actually pissed me off so much I showed that person the difference when actually brushing curly hair and not brushing curly hair. Then she said "Oh now I understand, I wasn't thinking."




About the big discussion of "good hair" and "bad hair". When I stopped relaxing my hair, a lot of people told me "Why did you ever relaxed your hair in the first place, you have really good hair!" And I got that comment in all sorts of ways. I usually don't overthink it, but I do tend to listen to the intonation when someone says it. Because yes it can be a compliment, but it can also be very offensive. I have heard in so many different ways, but both in two ways. It either sounded like a compliment or it was very offensive.

"You didn't have to relax your hair, you have good hair anyways, a lot of people don't" (I'm sorry but what does that mean? Some people don't? Then what kind of hair do they have?)

Besides that, I've heard this from many different kind of people, (white, black, yellow, purple, whatever kind of color) and I think it just depends on the way someone says it.

Anyways, that being said, I never also really thought of racism because of those comments. It just shows how ignorant some people can be.

As long as you like your hair
Originally Posted by Krullenbol
I think it is best to never say anything about anyone's hair because, from reading this you never know how they will take any comment at all. Just look the other way, don't comment and move on.
I have been reading the comments on good hair. My opinion is sometimes words and phrases have meanings based on the culture. I want to add in Spanish speaking countries, blacks use "pelo bueno and pelo malo." If you are not part of the culture then you might not understand how the terms are perceived and intended. The difference in saying someone has "pretty" hair and someone has "good" hair is that pretty is that it looks good by being styled nicely whereas "good" hair is genetic as in you were born with hair that many black people associate with white people and look at as more desireable. If I have naturally kinky hair with this thinking I could make it pretty by putting a relaxer or a pressing comb but I could never have good hair because God didn't make me that way. Therefore, it has created a situation where some POC are considered superior because they don't need relaxers to look more European. As children the girls with good hair are complimented and told how pretty they are while the bad hair girls are made to feel less than and that their hair is problematic. Actually most black people I know would love to have "good hair". You are treated like the chosen one golden child messiah. Some good hairs will even rub it in your face that you have a kinky texture and they were lucky to sport looser hair. "Good Hair" has caused a lot of bad feelings of jealousy and animosity among POC. Have you seen how some won't be seen without a weave? They wear them all the time year round so they can have "good hair". To this day most grown black women will tell me they like my hair but can't go natural because their hair is too nappy because it was engrained in them as children that kinky hair is bad hair and must be straightened to be presentable.
Blueblood and noodly like this.
I've been told I'm "so pretty" with straight hair. I want to ask, so I'm ugly with curly hair? Sheesh. Makes me motivated to grow my hair out super long again, wear it super duper 1980's curly like an arsenal of botticelli bombs. LOL
I'd never heard the term "good hair" before joining this website.
Pre Shampoo: Olive Oil
Low Shampoo: Redken Curvaceous Cream Shampoo
Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture
Treatments: SM Yucca & Baobab Masque/SM African Black Soap Masque/Joico K-Pak Reconstructor
Leave in/Oil:Castor Oil/Redken Diamond Oil Conditioner
Styling: AG Recoil Curl Activator/V05 Mega Hold/Cornstarch
Refresh: Redken Fresh Curls Curl Boost


Waist Length, 2B with 2C ends
Not a mean comment but I remember when I did my first overnight plop back in February(one of my better hair days tbh) I was in the lounge at my college and my friend met up with me and the first thing she said was, "your hair is really curly" and didn't say anything else concerning my hair. Like, okay? Thank you? I never know how to respond to comments like that - stating the obvious. "Your hair is curly," "your hair is long." Is that a compliment? What do I say back? I don't get it.
Mix of many types, but I'll say 3B
Fine thickness, medium density, mixed porosity
WL wet
Currently transitioning from heat damage and relaxers

CG since 1/25/2014
Still figuring my hair out
I've gotten "You look prettier with straight hair". I was like, "Ouch." I wish I had thought of a good comeback.
~ Curly teen - - natural since 05/02/14 ♥ ~
3A, low porosity, medium thickness

Shampoo: SheaMoisture shampoos
Conditioner: SheaMoisture Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner
Leave-in: Kinky Curly Knot Today



Comments that have been said to me this year:

-"When are you getting your hair done? Its looking rough"

-"Bush girl" - HATE THIS ONE

-"Is it hard to comb?" When detangles, no.

-Situation of a birthday party - "You think you're going out with me like that!? [You] Better buy a wig to wear or else.."

-"It's just hair" - HATE THIS ONE!!

-"Young, young girls these days wear their hair relaxed or styled [braids, weaves]. This natural hair you're carrying is not the latest" - lol. LOL.

-"All this money and its still not long"

And after all this I still love you Maisie (my hair's name lol)
"Did you get a perm?!".- A lot of people that actually know my hair curly from before.
"When you use shampoo your hair looks more natural" - My mom. How is it going to be more natural than my natural hair, mom? I don't get it
"Your hair looks great for being of someone who doesn't wash it at all" - My boyfriend, everyday, sceptic about cg.
Also, I seriously stopped answering with the truth when someone ask me about my hair rutine. People HAVE to question everything. This ones are from my mother-in-law:
" If you don't use shampoo everyday.....
a) your hair is going to fall
b) you're going to have dandruff
c) your scalp will become soooo greasy
d) your hair will not shine anymore"
So now, I lie. I told most people that I do a regular hair rutine, with shampoo, conditioner and some cream for the hair and that's all. I don't feel like explaining everything to everyone if I know they will discuss for ever about it.
belwillcoily likes this.

Last edited by HelenaBeat; 08-10-2014 at 08:11 PM.
"You can get a comb through that?" 😦
Pre Shampoo: Olive Oil
Low Shampoo: Redken Curvaceous Cream Shampoo
Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture
Treatments: SM Yucca & Baobab Masque/SM African Black Soap Masque/Joico K-Pak Reconstructor
Leave in/Oil:Castor Oil/Redken Diamond Oil Conditioner
Styling: AG Recoil Curl Activator/V05 Mega Hold/Cornstarch
Refresh: Redken Fresh Curls Curl Boost


Waist Length, 2B with 2C ends
The questions I get most of the time from people are...

"Are those your actual curls? Like, do you curl them all individually?"

"Can you straighten your hair? It would look so pretty straightened!"

"Is it expensive to take care of your hair?"

"Is your hair dirty since you don't wash it everyday?"

"Why can't you just go to a regular hair salon to get your hair trimmed?"

"Can I touch your hair...?"

"You seriously put food in your hair as a deep conditioner?!"

It's pretty entertaining to me.
My roommate tells me my hair is poufy
No it's called volume dude,nothing worse than flat roots!
My hair recently converted from straight to curly over the summer, so when I came back to school, my friends were saying things like: "Did you forget to brush your hair?" "I liked your straight hair much better." "Didn't you know perms are bad for your hair?"

I had a conversation with one of my guy friends that boosted me up though:

Him: "Your hair is beautiful, whether it be curly or straight. You look great either way!"

Me: 😊
Mostly 2c hair, with a little mix of 2b to the back. Not on the CG method yet, but plan on going on it ASAP.
SHAMPOO: Paul Mitchell Lemon Clarifying
CONDITIONER: John Frieda Frizz-Ease Smooth
DEEP CONDITIONER: Organix Morrocan Oil Cream
STYLING: Garnier Sleek and Shine Serum, John Frieda Frizz-Ease Dream Curls Daily Styling Spray, and Suave Captivating Curls Whipped Mousse
I got "you need to stop feeding your hair because you look like a chia pet."

I have massively thick hair btw. I said I'm channeling my inner Diana Ross and I started singing "reach out and touch somebody's hand" and grabbed the person by the hand. lol
Blueblood and russianprncss like this.
This isn't dumb, or even an insult. My mum loves my hair, but she always says stuff (when my hair is down) like "Your hair should be on show like this all the time", and it annoys me a bit, because I wear updo's a lot to protect it, to stop it from tangling so much, and to keep the curl from falling out over the course of a week. And apart from that it's just so much more comfortable.

She's never in her life had hair past her shoulders, and mine is waist length, and curly. I don't think she understands how much of an annoyance long tangly hair can be. I don't know. Like somehow i'm trying to 'hide' my hair by wearing it in an updo, it's still showing, you can see the curl pattern, see the volume/fullness of it. I just don't get why she thinks hair can only be at it's fullest potential if it's down, or something.
Pre Shampoo: Olive Oil
Low Shampoo: Redken Curvaceous Cream Shampoo
Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture
Treatments: SM Yucca & Baobab Masque/SM African Black Soap Masque/Joico K-Pak Reconstructor
Leave in/Oil:Castor Oil/Redken Diamond Oil Conditioner
Styling: AG Recoil Curl Activator/V05 Mega Hold/Cornstarch
Refresh: Redken Fresh Curls Curl Boost


Waist Length, 2B with 2C ends
I'm not complete CG; I straighten my hair about once a month, just because I like to mix it up and it doesn't seem to damage my hair that much. But, the other day I straightened my hair and my coworker said, "I LOVE your hair like that. I mean I like it poofy too, but I like it flat better."

Yes, because everyone wants their hair to be defined as "poofy." Thanks.
"Why are you still wearing those beachy waves, it's winter you know!"
2A fine wavy hair. Hates silicones, polyquats and too much oil, loves protein and glycerine.
"How did you get your hair like that?" (from a hairdresser)

Like I would do THIS on purpose!?!? And if you were any kind of hairdresser, you'd know that this is naturally curly.
CG since Dec. 2013
3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density

Last edited by CatitudeBoo; 11-04-2014 at 06:00 PM.
"I was watching this make-over show the other day and this girl had crazy curls and in the end they straightened it and it was beautiful and it reminded me of you."

Me: :/

Sent from my Ice-Phone Mini using CurlTalk App
3A/3B Corkicelli


What a hairdresser once said 'behind my back': Her curls are like owning a Ferrari but not knowing how to drive it.

What I should have answered: Me letting you cut my hair is like owning a Ferrari but letting a 15-year-old who takes autoshop do the maintenance.
I was watching the Wen cleanser commercial and generally liked it. Except that a Latino stylist referred to the Black woman's hair as overly coarse. She had thick 3c hair that actually seemed pretty loose and normal to finer coarseness compared to many AAs I've seen. In fact she seemed clearly mixed. Her hair reminded me of Holly Robinson Peete's. I think their assessment was quite a bit exaggerated. It was probably for contrast effect or something but I found the language uncalled for.

Another similar trend I've noticed recently is ladies with straight, fine, silky hair describing their hair as nappy in youtube videos. I think they may mean tangled but it is certainly also inaccurate and an uncalled for mockery of those with tighter hair

I think both of these cases might be simply of people are viewing all hair from a straight hair perspective instead of analyzing textures as they fit within the entire spectrum.
pinkpostitheart likes this.
My Routine:
Coconut oil drench the night before I co-wash
then cowash and deep condition each time w/ Keracare Humecto
Shima leave in conditioner then usually airdry
Grapeseed oil nightly

(no gel, mouse, or hair spray. My delicate, fine hair will tear if I even try to run my fingers through it with any of those. )
My go to leave ins are now: Shima Leave In Conditioner or PW77

Last edited by MsP; 11-15-2014 at 02:13 PM.
I was watching the Wen cleanser commercial and generally liked it. Except that a Latino stylist referred to the Black woman's hair as overly coarse. She had thick 3c hair that actually seemed pretty loose and normal to finer coarseness compared to many AAs I've seen. In fact she seemed clearly mixed. Her hair reminded me of Holly Robinson Peete's. I think their assessment was quite a bit exaggerated. It was probably for contrast effect or something but I found the language uncalled for.

Another similar trend I've noticed recently is ladies with straight, fine, silky hair describing their hair as nappy in youtube videos. I think they may mean tangled but it is certainly also inaccurate and an uncalled for mockery of those with tighter hair

I think both of these cases might be simply of people are viewing all hair from a straight hair perspective instead of analyzing textures as they fit within the entire spectrum.
Originally Posted by MsP
While I don't think the word "overly" was needed I don't see how you can look at someone on tv and tell whether their hair is coarse or not unless they did a super tight shot of one of her hair strands. WThe term coarse has nothing to do with how loose or how tight your curls are. Nothing to do with race. people with straight hair can have coarse hair. There are white women on this forum who have coarse hair. Coarse and fine have to do with the thickness of the individual strands. I am black and I have fine dense kinky hair. It is common for black people to have fine hair. My mom had my hair analyzed by a salon. So if the stylist who is examining the hair says the woman's hair was coarse I would tend to take her word for it.

http://www.curlynikki.com/2011/07/understanding-fine-natural-hair.html?m=1
belwillcoily likes this.

Last edited by adthomas; 11-15-2014 at 11:59 PM.

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