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Curly Gurus
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 22Likes
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5
Post By prentonne
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Post By poemaXX
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Post By multicultcurly
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Post By curlypearl
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Post By Ml001
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Post By curlyhoneyb
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Post By CurlyCarmenCurly
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Post By bobby
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12-16-2012, 10:49 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 46
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He doesn't like my hair :(
Sooo I just found out that my maybe boyfriend is into blonde wavy hair and that he doesn't really like my dark brown corkscrews (he actually told me).
Now I thought I was cool with that but ever since then thoughts of straightening and the usual jazz are back in my head...
I don't want to change my hair, I really don't but I don't know if a relationship can work with the thought of "I'd actually prefer anything but curly" in the room.
M I overreacting?
Sent from my Lumia 800 using Board Express
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12-16-2012, 10:54 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 159
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Whats a maybe boyfriend?? I dont think he likes you. He likes blondes and you are not. But Im sure he enjoys your low self esteem and the fact that although he has said you are not his type you continue to give him the time of day.
Sent from my GT-P1000N using CurlTalk App
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12-16-2012, 11:15 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 457
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If this guy thinks your hair is more important than your personality, you are underacting. He's shallow and you have better things to worry about—you seriously must.
__________________
|| 3b; normal porosity; fine/normal texture || CG since Feb 2010 ||
Current Routine BAQ henna 1/month; Leave-in OH Hair Dew; Cleansing Conditioner Giovanni TTTT. – Just three! 
Old Stand-bys extra-virgin coconut oil; Protein AO GPB; Moisture AO HR; Style AOMMJ. – Kept for troubleshooting.
Waiting to try extra-wide curlformers. Propylene Glycol Sensitive - Itchy scalp? Facial Irritation? This might be why!
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12-16-2012, 11:27 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,323
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+1 He is using you until he finds that wavy-hair blonde. A guy who is worthy of the boyfriend title will be into you even if curly brunettes are not the type he usually goes for. You deserve better.
__________________
3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, low density
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
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12-17-2012, 05:26 AM
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#5
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 8,592
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He is shallow and immature. He's not worth it - believe us! 
__________________
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Protein treatment HG: Curl Junkie Repair Me
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers:Curl Junkie CCCC or CCCL
in combo with a gel, usually KCCC
Trying Curl Keeper - still experimenting
Every day is a gift 
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12-17-2012, 07:35 AM
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#6
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 354
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^this, ^this, and ^this...
__________________
remember, with all advice or suggestions for your hair, YMMV!! 
My hair:
2b wavy, medium texture, low porosity, med-high density. Protein finicky.
My routine:
Cleansing: DCNP, every 4-5 days (occasionally use CJ cleansers).
RO: CJSC, occasionally use JCDC
LI: KCKT or CJSL
Gel: KCCC, CJCIAB for 2nd day hair (sometimes third)
Heat is my friend: warm water rinses, steam caps, and diffuse dry. I love CLU cloths and my Denman.
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12-17-2012, 06:50 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 254
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I agree with the other ladies...and to second what prentonne said, what in the world is a "maybe" boyfriend?
I believe that if a guy likes/loves you, then he will accept all of the things that make you who you are. Men will have certain ideals and preferences that are influenced by various factors (society, friends, family, media) but ultimately a guy who is into you will appreciate what you have to offer. If you're not pretty enough in his eyes, then it's "next!" Move on to a guy who will see the beauty in your hair and in you.
I know that when we were dating, my husband didn't really like my hair. Actually I'm not sure he thought I was pretty at all. He'd never been with anyone like me before. But somehow his concept of beauty expanded. He went from being with straight-haired Caucasian blondes with flat butts to a mixed curly girl with crazy 4a/4b kinks and booty, hips, and thighs (sorry for being blunt). Now he digs my hair and thinks it's cool.
So your "maybe" boyfriend's notions of beauty can change like my husband's did, but they might not. And you know what? You are beautiful no matter what he thinks of your hair and there will be plenty of guys who would kill to be with a woman like you. So remember that before you pick up the flat iron and fry your curls trying to fit his notion of beauty. Instead of changing your hair, you might consider changing boyfriends...I'm just sayin'.
And onto the blonde stuff...no disrespect to my fair-haired sisters, but luscious dark tresses are where it's at, you feel me? Curly blonde hair is pretty too, but it is often hyped in Western media as the ideal.
I guess what I'm saying is that you deserve to be with somebody who prefers YOUR type of hotness, not what is touted as conventionally hot. I have very small breasts and I will admit that I'm insecure about that...but the only way I would get a boob job is if I wanted to (so I can look smexy and stay making other chicks jealous. I kid, I kid!  )
So it's up to you to decide if he is right for you. And no, you're not overreacting...it is natural to feel that way when your man says something that makes you feel less than desirable.
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12-20-2012, 08:08 AM
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#8
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 118
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For a start, I think he is allowed to have his preferences. However, I am not sure why he told you. Did it come up in conversation, did you ask him or did he just tell you?
Secondly, I don't think you're overreacting. It can be hurtful when people don't accept your hair, especially with so much negative messages all around about our curls. I love my hair and I still suffer from it sometimes. A guy I am 'seeing' preferred straight hair before (but now likes my curly hair, just prefers the length from my straight hair - fair enough. I like length too, and length looks better on me), and it hurt a bit.
Remember, he is allowed to have his preferences, but you're allowed to feel hurt or insecure.
Hugs {{}}
__________________
BSL stretched (longest it's ever been and growing rapidly!), past shoulder curly. Hair goal is hip length.
3a-b/f-m/ii. Soft and silky texture and prone to tangles. Can't get second day hair, even if I kissed the feet of fairy's 
Follow me on Instagram! Weightlossandcurls.
Pictures (clicky)
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12-26-2012, 06:14 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,041
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A lot of wisdom on this thread: people are able to see beyond just his comment about your hair ... people see that you're even hesitant to call him a boyfriend. He's your "maybe" boyfriend, you say.
In my experience, if a boy/guy really likes you, he will understand he's on an interview of sorts. He'll be on his best behavior. Will show his enthusiasm, which includes praising all sorts of things about you, or at least pointing out things you have in common. He'll generally withhold facts that might upset you or otherwise make you think you aren't his type. An interested boy is on his best behavior so he can find a way to "have" you, unless he's socially deaf or is just a schmuck.
I think most interested guys actually don't discuss how little they care for some part of a woman's appearance until they're in a r-ship (past the "interview" stage). Either way, they are allowed their preferences. And, like Carmen said, you have a right to feel hurt too.
Sorry to say, it just really sounds like this boy may really not be that into you.
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12-26-2012, 06:36 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 107
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Exactly. If he judges you for your looks and hair, then girl, you need to run away from him fast. Your hair is beautiful. You don't change yourself for someone. You find a someone who loves you exactly the way you are. Changing yourself for a guy is not a solution bcz the person you become is not you.
Sent from android curltalk app.
__________________
HAIR TYPE -2a-b, black, mostly medium
CO WASH, RO-HE HH and ENLEVEN and GARNIER RANGE
CLARIFY- I use sulphate shampoos silicone free(diluted), vinegar rinses
DC-pure coconut oil, olive oil, sometimes a SMT
LI-aloe vera gel + castor oil
I'm currently at BSL, aiming for waist length.I'm a very impatient person, wish me luck 
I love my flat iron, but I love my waves even more. :-D
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12-28-2012, 06:44 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 38
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I asked my man straight out if he preferred my straight hair or naturally curly hair (I have to straighten it sometimes, because I'm on a gymnastics team and I have to look professional).. He said he really loved my straight hair. I replied, "Well, you're stupid! My curls are SEXY and reflect my crazy personality" and he just laughed and said, "I like u no matter what your hair looks like"
So, is he asking you to change your hair? If so, there might be some serious problems there. If he just prefers a certain look, then tell him that he can go to h----, your hair is not changing. If he's a keeper, he'll love you for who you are, not for your hair!!!
3a/2c, medium porosity, high density, medium width..
Curls Rock Catwalk curl enhancer, Catwalk shampoo, Bumble and Bumble Super Rich conditioner, Enjoy oil, Bumble and Bumble heat protecter, finishing creme, and serum...
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12-28-2012, 08:41 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 107
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I just remembered, when I purchased my flat iron and was using it frequently, he kept asking me not to ..of course I didn't pay any heed to him because I just loving my straight hair.this was 7-8 months ago. Hmm, maybe he likes my natural hair after all! :-D
Sent from android curltalk app.
__________________
HAIR TYPE -2a-b, black, mostly medium
CO WASH, RO-HE HH and ENLEVEN and GARNIER RANGE
CLARIFY- I use sulphate shampoos silicone free(diluted), vinegar rinses
DC-pure coconut oil, olive oil, sometimes a SMT
LI-aloe vera gel + castor oil
I'm currently at BSL, aiming for waist length.I'm a very impatient person, wish me luck
I love my flat iron, but I love my waves even more. :-D
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12-29-2012, 12:27 AM
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#13
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 222
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Speaking from a guy's perspective. He's allowed to have preference but again having preference vs. loving someone for who they are have two different meanings. I have been married for nine years and have "curl crush." Oddly enough my wife is straight-haired but I would never tell her that I "prefer" curly because I love her for who she is.
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01-05-2013, 12:33 AM
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#14
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6
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I think there is a BIG difference between someone saying "You know, I've always thought I preferred blonde wavy hair..." even though you have brown corkscrews, and someone saying, "I would like you better if you had blonde wavy hair."
My husband is mostly bald and has been the whole time we've known each other. I don't have anything AGAINST baldness, but I always thought my "type" was a guy with thick dark hair. I still love my husband and find him VERY attractive. Of course, I don't think I'd tell him that I preferred thick dark hair (because it clearly doesn't matter)....but if it came up in conversation, I would be honest that while he doesn't have the hair type I've always preferred, I still love him dearly and wouldn't change a thing about him or his appearance.
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01-14-2013, 09:10 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 14
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I would say forget him. It will feel so amazing when you meet a guy who absolutely adores your hair.
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01-15-2013, 03:01 PM
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#16
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 624
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.
Last edited by dee-nature; 01-15-2013 at 03:05 PM.
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01-15-2013, 03:03 PM
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#17
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 624
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You shouldn't be mad @ him for giving you an honest answer, after all you did ask him the question. Sounds like he refers it str8 but doesnt mind it curly thats alot more than i can say about other guys who truly are stupid. Cut him some slack
Sent from my MB612 using CurlTalk App
Sent from my MB612 using CurlTalk App
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