I totally understand your frustration.
I decided to no longer go to one of my usual salons because I was hoping they could even out my hair (I got an "emo hair" haircut there a few years ago and after going natural I realized it just looked awful with curls). The stylist, who told me she had a mixed-race niece with the same hair as mine, had NO idea what she was doing so I had to settle for her trimming off some dead stuff. This was a hair school, but not even the TEACHER knew what to do!!
I went to a different salon, also one of my regular places, and they're going to have my business from now on. Though the stylist didn't seem to be a curly, she was experienced with my hair type and both she and the instructor knew what they were doing and were able to correct the cut. I'll have to let my hair grow out more before it starts to look better, but I'm more confident in their training with curly hair.
What absolutely KILLED me though was a different salon. This wasn't even a hair school, but I went in and asked if there were any stylists experienced with curly hair. The woman said yes, but he wasn't in. I explained that I was going natural because it's better for my hair and I'm trying to grow it out. Guess what she said next. "How about we straighten it when we trim it?" *****. PLEASE. When she saw the look of horror on my face she said they didn't have to, but suggesting straightening when I JUST SAID I'm trying to grow out my hair and take better care of it was what made me decide not to go there.
A few times I've been asked if I'd like to get my hair straightened when I walk into a salon. I'm not offended by that, since they must be used to curlies walking in for a straightening. What did offend me was when the salon that I'm not going to anymore just put straightening on my ticket when I had already specifically said that I'm not straightening my hair anymore.
Aside from this stuff, though, I honestly wouldn't say we're oppressed. However, I do think curly hair gets the short end of the stick. Some fashion trends I like seem to favor straight hair for the overall style (and the hair makes the look), and it seems like a lot of hair trends/cute hair cuts only work for straight hair. Shopping for products that won't deprive my hair of moisture is a bit difficult sometimes, too. The store I work at sells hair products but they all have mineral oil, sulfates and cones in them. Oh yeah, and f*** you WalMart for putting relaxers and flat irons in the "ethnic"/curly hair aisle!
3C, almost shoulder length (when stretched). Low Porosity, Protein Sensitive.
Low Poo: Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Moisture Retention Shampoo
Shampoo: Proclaim Olive Glossing Shampoo
RO: Eden Bodyworks Coconut Shea Cleansing Co-Wash
LI: Proclaim Olive Glossing Condish
Oils: JBCO, EVOO, Grapeseed Oil
Styling: Fantasia IC Hair Polisher
DC: Sally's GVP Conditioning Balm