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-   -   straight hair is better hair (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/hall-shame-discussion/159034-straight-hair-better-hair.html)

kayleigh.lew 06-05-2013 11:25 PM

straight hair is better hair
 
I nanny a 2 year old biracial girl. She rocks a darling baby afro with all the challenges that come along with being both Caucasian and African-American. We were at the grocery store last week when I stopped to fix the clip in her out-of-control mane. As I was struggling to free the tangled clippie, a pair of older female employees passed and remarked, "Poor thing must've gotten her daddy's hair!"
(Side note: I have a fairly unruly head of 3a/b/occasionally c hair of my own that had been flatironed the day before)
I'm frequently assumed to be the little one's mother when we go places; that doesn't bother me. What bothered me was the fact that someone looked at my (the presumed mother's) semi-straight, "typical" Caucasian hair and pitied the little one for inheriting her kinky hair from her non-Caucasian father.
Although it would probably still annoy me if I had straight hair, I felt a special kind of spite for these ignorant employees and a society that praises the all-American straight head of hair and looks down upon natural, textured African-American hair.*

*I'm obviously aware that any race can have kinky/curly hair, but the social idea that textured hair is unprofessional/second rate/not as pretty is especially aimed towards people of color

Always@night 06-06-2013 06:24 AM

Those employees were quite rude to say that, but it is hard for everyone to see the unique beauty that each person possesses ; hair included.

chupie 06-06-2013 09:22 AM

I just don't get it. I don't understand
1) people's need to comment
2) why is it "poor thing", I'm totally enamored with any curly or kinky hair as its beautiful.
3) are people raised in barns? Why are people so rude??

Firefox7275 06-10-2013 08:46 AM

How impolite, weren't they raised with any manners? I would have complained to management, staff should be more professional than to insult customers even if they are only toddlers. Negative comments about appearance is part of what gives females especially complexes about their looks and it starts very young.

GroYoFro 06-13-2013 04:08 PM

Some people just do not have any manners and many people are haters. You know as Dead Prez says , "when you love yourself theres always going to be haters"

Here is the link to that video. I highly suggest for you to listen : )

Dead Prez The Beauty Within lyrics antikorper - YouTube

curlicious13 06-13-2013 04:42 PM

How rude. I would complain too. But nothing new to me. Mom complains about my curly hair all the time saying "your hair looks better & sexier straight." Honestly, I think my hair looks beautiful either way. I get more compliments about my curly hair from strangers than I get from my family & hair stylist. The stylist hates my choice to go natural.

Samanthascurlz 06-13-2013 07:47 PM

I agree with everyone, it is sad that others look at the non-society standards as a curse. People like that reinforce why I go natural.

UnluckyCurls 06-13-2013 08:23 PM

It's crazy how people think they can say whatever they want about natural hair and not think its rude. This girl at my school once told me "no offense but I don't want my kids to have your hair" 1: it's still offensive even if you say no offense and 2: that crap is hurtful it can make even the strongest willed people upset

GoldWaves 11-14-2013 02:55 PM

I hope this doesn't offend anyone but I personally find straight hair really, really boring. It always looks the same, plus most people I know complain that they can't do anything with it and wish it would curl or wave at the very least.

bobby 11-15-2013 01:36 AM

I have one thing to say about those who think straight hair is better -- "sucks to be you."

Well, OK, if you have naturally straight hair I can see think straight is better. It's what you know but if you are a curly thinking straight is better and you straighten it -- time to go to rehab. Those are the ones that confirm I did the right thing by going natural.

In fact, maybe one day just for fun I'll do a perm rod set. ;)

jeepcurlygurl 11-15-2013 01:46 PM

I would have said "Lucky kid got her dad's hair"! I love afros and am jealous of those who have them.

multicultcurly 11-15-2013 03:02 PM

That is rude. You didn't ask them for their opinion, especially as this negative comment regarded a child. When it comes to weight and hair, strangers feel it is ok to comment.

We all have different preferences, but it doesn't give us a right to insult others for traits they have when it has no impact on us.

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CurlyInTheFog 11-16-2013 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeepcurlygurl (Post 2224028)
I would have said "Lucky kid got her dad's hair"! I love afros and am jealous of those who have them.

This. I love seeing kids with the ultra-curly, wild hair. I was in a restaurant the other day and a man came in with his kids, and boy, did they have the most gorgeous hair. I wanted to go over and tell him "Your kids have great hair," but I didn't because I thought it might be a little weird, but I was gawking at them all through our meal. My husband thinks it's hilarious when I moon over hair.

bobby 11-16-2013 03:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeepcurlygurl (Post 2224028)
I would have said "Lucky kid got her dad's hair"! I love afros and am jealous of those who have them.

Jeep, believe me, I am glad that after all these years I love that I have one. There are days I shamelessly wear my purple pick in my hair. ;)

bringingcurliesback? 11-16-2013 03:12 AM

I second jeepcurlygurl! I love hair like tarenguy's on youtube it is gorgeous. Oh the volume I would kill to have had a journey of my own with a twa and all. And for the record I hate youtube videos like how to fake curly hair. It makes me so mad.

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bobby 11-18-2013 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kayleigh.lew (Post 2177381)
I nanny a 2 year old biracial girl. She rocks a darling baby afro with all the challenges that come along with being both Caucasian and African-American. We were at the grocery store last week when I stopped to fix the clip in her out-of-control mane. As I was struggling to free the tangled clippie, a pair of older female employees passed and remarked, "Poor thing must've gotten her daddy's hair!"
(Side note: I have a fairly unruly head of 3a/b/occasionally c hair of my own that had been flatironed the day before)
I'm frequently assumed to be the little one's mother when we go places; that doesn't bother me. What bothered me was the fact that someone looked at my (the presumed mother's) semi-straight, "typical" Caucasian hair and pitied the little one for inheriting her kinky hair from her non-Caucasian father.
Although it would probably still annoy me if I had straight hair, I felt a special kind of spite for these ignorant employees and a society that praises the all-American straight head of hair and looks down upon natural, textured African-American hair.*

*I'm obviously aware that any race can have kinky/curly hair, but the social idea that textured hair is unprofessional/second rate/not as pretty is especially aimed towards people of color

I got one other thing to say to those who say straight hair is better. "I wish I were just like you!" NOT!

Lady_Creole 01-12-2014 10:35 AM

1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Firefox7275 (Post 2178765)
How impolite, weren't they raised with any manners? I would have complained to management, staff should be more professional than to insult customers even if they are only toddlers. Negative comments about appearance is part of what gives females especially complexes about their looks and it starts very young.

I agree...I would have had to say something.

I am the product of a Ethiopian/Cherokee Indian dad, and a French/Spanish Creole mom. When I had a perm, people always assumed my mom was Hispanic, when they saw her, or that one of my parents were Caucasian, when they didn't. I was acceptable...

When I went natural, and came back to work many of my Caucasian and Hispanic friends stopped talking to me...just casual hellos. It strung but I got over it. I guess I was only acceptable when I embraced the parts that was "like them" however I made other friends that excepted me as I am.

Here is my straight hair...[I will post a picture with my curly hair styled later today]...

Lady_Creole 01-12-2014 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobby (Post 2224527)

I got one other thing to say to those who say straight hair is better. "I wish I were just like you!" NOT!

I have never wanted to be anything other than what and who I am. I LOVE my hair much more now than I ever did when it was straight. I had to miss out on too many things that I loved to keep it that way.

Also, I find that curly hair suits me better...I am a free spirit, unconventional in many ways, and artsy...this compliments my flow...:glasses1:...LOL! And when it gets to my waist...watch out!!!

Lady_Creole 01-12-2014 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UnluckyCurls (Post 2180140)
It's crazy how people think they can say whatever they want about natural hair and not think its rude. This girl at my school once told me "no offense but I don't want my kids to have your hair" 1: it's still offensive even if you say no offense and 2: that crap is hurtful it can make even the strongest willed people upset

SMH!!! Usually when people preference a statement with "No offense"...they are getting ready to say something offense. From now on stop them right there with...

"Before you make your offensive comment examine yourself to see if you can handle my retort because I will have one"...then fold your arms and wait...with a slight smile!

They will walk away!

PS...change your name to "magical", "supreme", "wonderful", "beautiful", etc. curls...do not stigmatize yourself. Blessings!

DaniGirl88 01-13-2014 11:35 AM

People can be so rude sometimes!

My husband's sister has a mixed daughter and everyone assumes that she's mine because I am mixed as well. They also assume that her mother couldn't have given birth to a child with such kinky/coily hair (her hair is about a 3c/4a and her mother's hair is "poker straight"). I don't understand people's thoughts or why they feel they have to voice their negative opinions. Now, she comes up to me and asks why her hair isn't straight and asks her mother to straighten it. She's 5!!! She shouldn't have negative feelings about herself at this age (or ever if I could help it).


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