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Old 07-30-2013, 12:42 PM   #1
 
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Default My hair is NOT an invitation

So today I wore my hair down for the first time in awhile... it just looked great today, and I knew I wasn't going to be at the gym, so I kept it down!

And I also happened to have to go to the hardware store. First thing in the morning, when it's basically abandoned.

While there, a group of men come up to me (probably in their 30s?), muttering stuff like "hey girl, nice hair!". I brush them off and walk away, only to find one of them again a few aisles down. As I walk away from him AGAIN, he reaches out and smacks my butt and starts closing me into a corner with this creepy, lascivious look on his face.

So, I'm understandably angry (and a little scared), and I start making as MUCH noise as possible. It's the fastest way to get people around us to pay attention. Stuff like, "What in the WORLD do you think you're doing? WHY would you touch me like that?". He's still all, "hey girl, you know you want this!" FINALLY a few employees come by and escort him to customer service, where we all wait for the cops. Because I won't stand for this, and insisted on calling the cops.

When they arrive, they ask this man what POSSIBLY could have possessed him to do this. He replies, "everyone knows a white girl with curls is asking for some action. They allllllways easy."

So I had to walk away from that. I really really wanted to hit him, but then I'd be charged for assault. I'm still fuming, especially because I was powerless to say anything to that comment. And my smouldering look didn't do ANYTHING.

Ugh. I'm gonna go shower and put my hair up, now.
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:37 PM   #2
 
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That's awful!! Good for standing up to those *******s! Don't let stupidity keep you from being yourself! Your curls are a part of who you are! Next time kick the guy hard where it counts ;/
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:39 PM   #3
 
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Quote:
"everyone knows a white girl with curls is asking for some action. They allllllways easy."
WTF? I can't believe he said that to the cops--much less thought it to begin with!

I'm glad you are OK.
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:51 PM   #4
 
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So what did the cops do?
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:01 PM   #5
 
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Um wow! That is just crazy! Wtf is wrong with people?! Hopefully the cops did something?

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Old 07-30-2013, 03:04 PM   #6
 
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Thanks, all! I'm less angry now, but still fuming a little bit!

The cops didn't do much. Took statements from both of us, and then told me I could go. I don't know what the follow-through will be, especially because I don't intend to press charges (no matter how angry I was, that didn't seem like a sound idea!!). But the cops mentioned that they've had a few complaints about a similar-sounding man doing similar-sort-of-things in the same community. So they're going to question this guy, at least!
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Old 07-30-2013, 04:33 PM   #7
 
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Seriously WTF. I am so sorry that happened. Disgusting people out there.
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Old 07-30-2013, 05:44 PM   #8
 
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That white girl curly hair stuff is total bs that perv pulled out of his a$$.

I had a lot of problems in high school and college with dirty old men in stores harrassing me. I would try to get away from them and they still follow me from aisle to aisle. I would get very upset but fortunately no one ever touched me. Finally, my mom told me to start going to the security guards.
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Old 07-31-2013, 02:30 AM   #9
 
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Yeah, I certainly would have pressed charges. It might help make him think twice about sexually molesting other women. Or even if it didn't make him think twice, his name would be in the system for what he did, so that future offenses would lead to increasing legal consequences.

Anyway, I'm really really sorry you had to go through this. I too can relate to public harassment.
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Old 08-02-2013, 02:26 PM   #10
 
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That's horrible.

Trust me, it had absolutely nothing to do with your hair or anything else about you for that matter. It had everything to do with misogyny, rape culture and victim-blaming.
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Old 10-25-2013, 11:08 PM   #11
 
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What a misogynistic, disgusting pig!!!!
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Old 10-27-2013, 06:41 AM   #12
 
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Sorry to read this gas happened to you. Please press charges, that is sexual assault. If he is not stopped at this stage who knows where it will escalate, what if he catches some other curly girl in a dark empty parking lot? How will you feel if you read in the newspaper about a much worse attack in a few years? Presumably your address is confidential, it certainly is in the UK.
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Old 10-28-2013, 06:45 AM   #13
 
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Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm really sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you called the cops, at least there's a report out there.
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Old 10-28-2013, 07:17 PM   #14
 
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Another way to put it is: "My hair is not a petting zoo."
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Old 12-01-2013, 02:25 PM   #15
 
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!!!

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Old 12-02-2013, 04:47 PM   #16
 
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That is a bunch of ****! Really glad you called the police. If you do not press charges, there really isn't much they can do in a situation like this. It's not so much sexual assault (that is rape. a crude stranger smacking your butt is rude, pushy, aggressive and uncalled for but not rape) but sexual harassment and behavior that clearly made you feel threatened. You did a good thing. If they had already received a report of a man saying things along the same line, you have at least pointed them in a more specific direction. His name will be put in the system. Not as in having committed a crime, but as a general report because he caused a disturbance, and could have possibly caused others. Other officers will be told about and see this report, and will keep it in mind if/when other situations arise.
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Old 01-02-2014, 04:45 PM   #17
 
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Holy crap, I'd have gone bananas on him. Or grabbed a shovel and whacked him with it. Good for you for calling the cops. What a creeper.
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