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Old 08-09-2013, 10:11 PM   #1
 
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Default Stop touching me!!!

Since going curly, I have noticed random people now feel the need to touch my hair with out invitation. Am I the only one who has this problem? I'm starting to feel like I'm part of a petting zoo.
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Old 08-10-2013, 01:45 AM   #2
 
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Just out of curiosity: are you saying they come up to you and admire your hair and then go to touch it? ... Or do these strangers "sneak attack", hoping you won't catch them touching it? Either way, I can see where you'd be justified in seeing it as an invasion of your space.
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Old 08-10-2013, 06:25 PM   #3
 
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I hate it too, but I mostly hate it because people just mess it up, frizz it up and I absolutely hate it when they feel the need to touch it because they're a questioning whether it's real or not. And by people, I mean strangers
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Old 08-15-2013, 06:01 PM   #4
 
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Some "sneak attack" and try to straighten and bounce a curl. Others just go "Ohh, your hair is so pretty!"...GRAB. I work in medical and the old ladies just love to go after my hair. One even tried to feather and fluff it. (ohh H*LL NO!)
If it weren't my job on the line and they weren't 80 yrs old.... I'd be slapping some hands.
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Old 08-15-2013, 06:36 PM   #5
 
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It's annoying, i don't even like when family members try. The only one who can without me minding is my fiance. But then again I don't like to be touched period, not on the arm, leg anywhere. Lol i just like my space
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Old 08-17-2013, 04:52 AM   #6
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OddGirlOut View Post
Some "sneak attack" and try to straighten and bounce a curl. Others just go "Ohh, your hair is so pretty!"...GRAB. I work in medical and the old ladies just love to go after my hair. One even tried to feather and fluff it. (ohh H*LL NO!)
If it weren't my job on the line and they weren't 80 yrs old.... I'd be slapping some hands.
That does sound annoying, it's like strangers touching pregnancy bellies like they are not totally invading someone's personal space.

Could you lightly bobby pin the front section back or use a soft headband when at work? You should not have to, but it might take the hair a few inches out of reach of grabby older folks.
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Old 08-19-2013, 03:29 PM   #7
 
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If only it were as simple as a headband or pins. Unfortunately, the positions I'm in to carry out certain procedures leave my within arms reach. Even with my hair pulled back. I've been sitting, drawing one patient's blood and a sneaky wife or daughter will get into my hair. Really? Not a good time to start touching someone.
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Old 08-19-2013, 04:03 PM   #8
 
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Responding with a light tap to the culprit's hand might send just the right message.

Or it could unfairly land you in a court of law.

But you knew that
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Old 08-21-2013, 10:44 AM   #9
 
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Apparently I'm one of the few curlies that do not have that problem... nobody ever attempts to touch my hair! It wouldn't be a big problem for me as I'm Hispanic and like physical closeness, I didn't grow up with the "I need my own space" thought. But believe me, nobody never tries to touch my hair... Maybe it's too ugly... ha ha!!
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Old 08-21-2013, 04:38 PM   #10
 
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Ms. Cabernet, you bring up a really good point about personal space. Not sure it's a cultural thing for me, but like you, I'm more touchy-feely than a lot of people and enjoy a lot of eye contact, etc. (Didn't used to be that way though.) ... And that sparks another question for me: Maybe people like you and I just don't notice it as much when someone touches our hair, whereas people who need a lot of personal space might notice it each time someone touches their hair because they find it aggravating or offensive(?). So are you sure no one has touched your hair? LOL

Speaking strictly for myself, looking back on it, lots of people have touched my hair, but it's often been one of those things where the person first kind of greeted me w/an excited "hello" or asked how I'm doing in an affectionate tone and then affectionately touched my hair for a few seconds before settling into a friendly conversation. Or often a person will - again, affectionately - pay a hair compliment and then touch my hair. ... That type of touch doesn't bother me unless there's a lecherous feel about it. Anyway, because I like affection so much, it took until just now to recognize my hair has been touched an awful lot
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Old 08-21-2013, 05:44 PM   #11
 
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Korkscrew, you are completely right! My hair has been touched a lot by family/friends when they greet me and hug me affectionately! An in that sense yes, I generally don't notice it, maybe because I am so used to it. However, I can't remember my hair being touched on purpose out of curiosity just to see if it's soft, if it boings, etc. If at least one people would do that, I would take it as a compliment! But in the other hand, I would agree with many of the posters here, I would get annoyed if people do it too frequently (especially unknown people!!).
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Old 08-21-2013, 06:20 PM   #12
 
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Very cool! Looks like we both made a new discovery

I suspect a bunch of factors go into whether or not strangers touch a person's hair at any given time. I doubt your hair is ugly LOL

I think some of us curlies come across as a bit intimidating and therefore maybe our hair gets touched less often by strangers. I'm one of these types of people, I think, because I sometimes get the polite "Can I touch your hair?" request but can't recall ever feeling a "sneak attack toucher" before. If I visit a salon for a consultation the stylist's eyes usually widen and her/his hands are already in my hair. I think those folks just love and touch hair so much that it over-rides any boundaries they might otherwise have had w/someone else's hair. The one state I recall getting my hair touched in the most - and I bet you would too if you moved there - is California. Holy ... a lot of blurred boundaries out there IMO
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Old 08-23-2013, 10:59 PM   #13
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OddGirlOut View Post
If only it were as simple as a headband or pins. Unfortunately, the positions I'm in to carry out certain procedures leave my within arms reach. Even with my hair pulled back. I've been sitting, drawing one patient's blood and a sneaky wife or daughter will get into my hair. Really? Not a good time to start touching someone.
All relatives to be sat on chairs or secured on laps when you are performing procedures for safety? Just say you have been knocked/ nudged or distracted/ made to jump before, and it's important to you that you perform the procedure to the best of your ability.
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2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG, growing out mechanical and chemical damage = breakage and very high porosity. Past armpit length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut
Treatments: Komaza Matani, coconut oil, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss ultimate volume, Inecto argan
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Boots Essentials gel
Experimenting with: going back to basics
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Old 08-24-2013, 01:51 PM   #14
 
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Got to chime in here. When my hair was BSL (I think that means bra-stap-length?), once in awhile a friend or co-worker would touch my hair. Never a stranger. I can't believe what I'm reading about strangers touching hair. I can't put in print what I would say to a stranger touching my hair, and it has nothing to to with personal space....it is rude. Now, if you mean you strike up a conversation with a stranger, and either you or the stranger (who are now not absolute strangers) touches the other's hair...usually this happens in the conditioner aisle of a store...that's okay.

I've had a short bob haircut for about six months now. A stranger would have to come really close to my face-neck-ears-eyes, whatever to touch my hair, in which case my arm would instinctively go out and/or backwards as in swatting a bug, so the intruder would get smacked. Sorry!
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