Sew in on children

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8-year-old bullied because she wore weave to school | theGrio


I found this article after I got into a Facebook debate with my cousin's friend about whether glueing bundles of tracks to a 7 year old's head is an appropriate hair style. Let's just say we don't see eye to eye. This is a sew in and the issue more complex with the bullying but I think worth discussion.
If someone wants to ruin their hair, that's on them. But please people, spare your children
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity
Wow.

Ignoring the bullying, why would you put that on a child's head?

The girl needs to learn to accept that her hair is different from her mum's and grandmother's but wonderful and allowing her to have a weave doesn't do this.

In a few years time that girl will be a teenager with even more hang ups and feeding them now isn't going to help her.
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 279
The bullying of this child is an outrage and inexcusable! I am in utter shock that the school allowed the child to be physically abused while in their care. With regard to the weave, that is the decision of the parents and the child to make. Some may not agree with it, but that is a cosmetic issue.
The physical abuse by the child while under the supervision of the school is a legal matter. I PRAY that the child's parents seek legal counsel against the school for allowing the child to be repeatedly physically attacked while in the care of the school.
This saddens me greatly.

PS: A lot of type 4 ladies use weaves successfully as a protective style and their hair THRIVES and grows well while wearing weaves as well as braids! I unfortunately did not have that success when I tried them years ago because my hair is fine and fragile. My hair tore while wearing weaves. Strong hair can handle it well with no damage whatsoever. In fact it PROTECTS stronger hair from normal wear and tear from combing if it is braided up in a weave. So ultimately, I am NOT outraged by the child wearing a weave. That is VERY COMMON in the Black community and one can gain inches of growth while the hair is in a weave if you have coarser Afro hair. The children who attacked this girl should be severely punished and the school system should pay punitive damages to the family imho.
My professional opinion as a retired stylist is that this girl's hair looks quite strong and probably would have thrived and grown well in a weave if it was not ripped from her scalp by the children. Jessica Simpson sells and WEARS hair weaves. Also, in England, it is mainly White women wear hair weaves while the Black women in England wear more braids. Weaves are strictly a cosmetic issue. But physical assault is a legal issue

Last edited by dixygirl; 05-12-2014 at 09:42 AM.
This story is, in my opinion, tragic for two reasons.

1. The school administrators allowed this bullying to go on for far too long, especially considering the fact that it was physical. The mass indifference and attempts to justify bullying are getting quite old. It is wrong, and it needs to be dealt with.

2. I know that her grandmother meant well, but the decision to allow the child to wear the weave is not going to help make her feel beautiful in the long run. It is just going to serve as a painful reminder, one that screams that she is not beautiful without the weave on top of her head. I can't help but feel that she should have been teaching the child that she was wonderful as she was.

P.S. I don't have a problem with anyone wearing a weave, but it's always better to wear a weave for a reason other than simply wanting to be what is considered normal.
First I think the bullying and hair pulling were wrong and should have been dealt with immediately by the school.

Secondly, I think this is poor decision making by the parents. To me this is not about being for or against weaves but whether it's age appropiate for an 8 year old to have a sew in. I say no. IMO it is for older girls and grown women. Most people in the FB debate were black and shared this view. . I don't profess to be the spokesperson for the blacks or claim to know every black person but I will say of the many black people I know it is NOT COMMON for parents to put sewins in little girls hair. I have only seen it once ever and my mom who went to cosmetology school was dumbfounded by it. Everyone else I have seen with a sewin or glue in has been at least high school age. I also don't see many girls with braid extensions until they are at least middle school age. Most litle girl I see wear their own hair whether in plaits, braids, relaxed. pressed.
Regardless of my opinion it is a fact children tend to be more sensitive as far as their skin and their hair tends to be more fragile. My mom glued some tracks in for fullness when I was in a beauty pageant in high school..My skin became itchy and horribly irritated (which is a common reaction with synthetic glue) and I took it out within a few days. Why put a glue with chemicals in it on a child's scalp. I don't see sewing bundles of hair that will constantly tug on a child's hair and the weight possibly causing traction alopecia as a good idea.
I also agree with those who think this is poor parenting. Reading between the lines the girl wants to be white because everyone around her is white and she wants to fit in. Well, The girl isn't white and all the weave in the world not going to change that. Why not teach her to see her own beauty instead or teach her ways to nicely style her own hair? And for those who say the girl asked for it well children ask for a lot of things that may not be in their best interest but the adults here should have known better.
lovebonita likes this.
On another note,
Dixy,. I have afro texture hair and I have read many of your posts. I'm curious about how you come to a lot of the insights you offer about Type 4.

1) Most Nigerians have type 4C hair.
How would anyone know this? Was there some type of hair census where Andre Walker went door to door?

2) Most Nigerian women relax and don't understand why anyone would go natural.
I have female cousins born and raised in Nigeria and none have relaxed hair. I can't say that for all my US born cousins. I have been told many African public schools require school age girls which means 5 - 18 to wear their natural hair as a twa.

3) Keratin treatment creates defined curls for those who don't have them.
How does a loosening treatment causes curls to clump? . I have only heard of sets for temporary and perms for permanent that are capable of creating curls.

4) Type 4 hair is coarse.
It can be. It can also be fine as can any other type. I don't think whether a weave is a successful option for someone depends on their curl type. As you said Jessica Simpson has her own line so it works well for her but not Naomi Campbell.
Wumi and lovebonita like this.
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,073
I can hardly understand this... Any school which fails to address the problem of bullyiing should be held accountable for that, period

Now, since this is a hair forum, the secondary issue is of a 7 y.o. having a sewn-in weave... Personally, I believe this is totally inappropriate for several reasons. 1) This poor little girl is being taught this way to reject her natural hair in favor of something fake, heaven knows how fake looking it might've been to provoke so much unwanted attention from those naughty kids! 2) She's too young at 7 to be preoccupied with her hair and her parents should not have encouraged such precocious preocupation. Some nice pigtails, little braids with beads or any other traditional hairstyle for extremely curly hair is what's appropriate for her age. 3) I strongly disagree weaves qualify as "protective" hairstyles, and least of all, sewn-ins because they usually require the hair to be very tightly braided/corn-rowed. IMO they can be quite destructive, as a matter of fact and a black woman who appears in an infommercial for the "Hair Club" mentioned that as a factor of her hair loss (
and anyone who knows what traction allopecia is would understand why). When I was still in beauty school, which had a majority of AA students, I witnessed a grown girl having one put on and she nearly cried because of how TIGHT the hair was braided so it would "last". The next day she said she couldn't even sleep and a day or two later she had taken it off, that's how uncomfortable it was.
CGSince2002 if you follow the link you can see how fake looking it is.

From the pictures it seems the mother and grandmother needed ideas on how to style the girl's hair. They seem as guilty as some Black women with daughters in not taking time to learn how to deal with their daughters' natural hair.
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,073
Oh, thanks, I didn't click on the link before. It's a real shame the grandmother decided to please her in this manner... I don't even know what to say about the multi-color hair...

And to allow the girl to be bullied an entire week, hello! That is why some kids end up committing suicide, because there's nobody with a BACKBONE defending them! If it had been my child I'd been in that school raising hell the 2nd day and the principal would have to deal with me. I'd also ask my child to show me the bullies, then I'd corner each one of them and instill the fear of God in them so they know they'd have to respond to me if they repeated their cowardly deeds.

My son got bullied once in middle school and brought a detention slip for me to sign because he struck back, I called the school and told the teacher that if she didn't want me to show up over there my child better not have to serve detention for defending himself, that it was her responsibility to keep my child safe, and of course, she changed her mind. I even complained once when my son got a complicated project that took a lot of my time and that he could've never done alone; as a single mother I had no time for that and resented it, so I went to the school and told the teacher what I thought and that next time I was not going to do it and my child better not get a bad grade for that. You just gotta stand up for your kid first and foremost, period.

Last edited by CGSince2002; 05-13-2014 at 03:39 AM.
The bullying of this child is an outrage and inexcusable! I am in utter shock that the school allowed the child to be physically abused while in their care. With regard to the weave, that is the decision of the parents and the child to make. Some may not agree with it, but that is a cosmetic issue.
The physical abuse by the child while under the supervision of the school is a legal matter. I PRAY that the child's parents seek legal counsel against the school for allowing the child to be repeatedly physically attacked while in the care of the school.
This saddens me greatly.

PS: A lot of type 4 ladies use weaves successfully as a protective style and their hair THRIVES and grows well while wearing weaves as well as braids! I unfortunately did not have that success when I tried them years ago because my hair is fine and fragile. My hair tore while wearing weaves. Strong hair can handle it well with no damage whatsoever. In fact it PROTECTS stronger hair from normal wear and tear from combing if it is braided up in a weave. So ultimately, I am NOT outraged by the child wearing a weave. That is VERY COMMON in the Black community and one can gain inches of growth while the hair is in a weave if you have coarser Afro hair. The children who attacked this girl should be severely punished and the school system should pay punitive damages to the family imho.
My professional opinion as a retired stylist is that this girl's hair looks quite strong and probably would have thrived and grown well in a weave if it was not ripped from her scalp by the children. Jessica Simpson sells and WEARS hair weaves. Also, in England, it is mainly White women wear hair weaves while the Black women in England wear more braids. Weaves are strictly a cosmetic issue. But physical assault is a legal issue
Originally Posted by dixygirl


Can you please do everyone a favor and stop speaking for Africans, blacks, and anyone else you clearly know nothing about?

Sincerely,
A real Nigerian-American
CurlyInTheFog and lovebonita like this.
No shampoo, no hair pins, no heat, no puffs... Just buns.

Almost MBL

Last edited by Wumi; 05-14-2014 at 05:08 AM.
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 279
Sure no problem. My mother is about as dark as Blacks come and I worked specializing in doing weaves on Blacks and other Black hair care for 11 years. I SERVED my community for many years. I even taught beauty school to Blacks and managed Black salons. That makes me more than qualified to speak on weaves and Black hair. But I understand, I don't look like you so you are not comfy. No problem at all ladies. It is as if you do not even exist to me from now on! Please give me the same courtesy and do not speak to me any more either and I will happily not speak about Black hair, although I am an expert in the field. I will only speak about MY hair. (Y'all got issues!)
PS For the record, I did not say anything about her hair being coarse, only that obviously stronger hair holds up better to a sew in than weak, fine hair like mine. It is a total misquote that I said all type 4 hair is coarse hair. My mother has type 4 hair which is fine like cottton so I know better. For an example of how softening kinks with BKT or other can create curls adthomas, I refer you to the product SCurl and also this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CegpqhRRj-w . I did also specialize in doing texlaxing particularly on men to create waves and curls in their hair.
If I can't even use the word coarse without you getting your feathers ruffled, something is wrong! My comments about the girl's hair were that it looks strong enough for a weave and it is a personal and cosmetic issue for the family to sort out, PERIOD. My comments were totally benign, but apparently you resent me regardless of what I have to say and even though I am a stranger. I do not resent you because I LOVE my mother and the history she represents to me of oppression and struggle.

(Just the same, as for you 2 ladies as individuals, please do not address me any more if you want me to not speak about Black hair even though I am an expert in the field AND I HAVE BLACK HAIR.)
This is a bit much! First one woman stalks me to try to get me to say I bleach my hair even though I do not, rather i tint my gray. (What business is it of hers anyhow) And now 2 Black women do not accept me as Black or respect my opinion as a Black woman. This is the stereotypical ostracization that mixed people experience from all directions. But it is my albatross so I deal with it. More to the topic, I am certain this sideshow parallels what was going on in the classroom with that poor little girl of this thread. The mean children could not put her in a neat little box so they grew angry. They were enraged by her appearance and the weave discombobulated them even more to the point were they went into rabid rages and fits to rip her apart like savage animals. I really feel sorry for this child and her struggles as well as the many struggles that will confront her ahead for many years to come.

PSS Wumi, the Doo Gro company is White owned. They misspell the word grow intentionally to pander to the audience, not because they are "tragic"ally, illiterate Blacks. In fact, many if not most of the products in the ethnic aisle are made by White companies. Beauty Supplies not Black Owned - Black Hair Media Forum - Page 1 So you can feel better about shopping in the ethnic aisle. (btw, you spelled aisle as isle)

Last edited by dixygirl; 05-14-2014 at 02:30 PM.
Dixy I don't think it's that people don't accept you as a "black woman." I think you don't feel accepted. I can tell by the way you talk about us, (referring to us as "Blacks") and your misconceptions about the black community and culture as a whole really shine light on how uncomfortable you are associating yourself with being African American.

You also distance yourself from us by referring to us as "Blacks" (a separate entity) rather than simply saying "us." Are you not a part of our community?

What I'm hopefully getting across is: you speak about African Americans as if you, yourself are NOT African American.

Also, I respect your education and experience in hair care. However, repeatedly professing to be an expert in anything is a little off-putting.
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 279
Sorry, Lovebonita, I was only responding to wumi saying I knew nothing about Black people or Black hair. I had to provide some evidence of the contrary. I referred to "Blacks" the same way Wumi did and I also refer to Whites in the 3rd person.
Back to the subject matter though of how a biracial girl was brutally beaten and had her hair ripped from her scalp at school. I think this thread clearly exemplifies how these attacks can easily transpire at the drop of a hat and how they seem to come out of no where.
My thoughts and prayers are with this child, that she not be scarred for life by the experience. My thoughts are with her family for standing by her and loving her. And my thoughts are with these children, that they might grow in love and in acceptance of their fellowman and learn to accept others for who they are and not for who they would like them to be.

Last edited by dixygirl; 05-14-2014 at 07:26 PM.
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,073
I pray too that poor little girl will not grow up feeling rejected, I can only imagine how hard it must be to be biracial in this country and other similar places where people are so divided. I'm Hispanic so to some I'm an "outsider" but that actually qualifies me to have a more impartial view of things and I believe people need to chill out! I've observed some AA are too touchy and too ready to jump on someone if they feel they have not been totally "politically correct". IMO it's just people getting too easily offended because of their own insecurities.

Another thing, what the heck is wrong with someone mentioning their experience just so people know we DO have some good solid basis to say what we say??? After all, this is a public forum where anyone with any kind of opinion, some very misinformed ones, can say whatever they want. And if we got paid for it I could understand, but personally I think some people should just learn to appreciate that they can get some knowledgeable advice because some of us just really want to help. I for one refuse to walk on egg shells all the time because some people are nitpicking trying to find what to be offended about next!

As Jesus said, he who is free of sin throw the first stone...
dixygirl,

Your posts have a lot of Tragic Mulatto overtones. Not everyone cares that you are biracial. The issue comes when you make gross generalizations about a group of people and attempt to pass off your alleged experiences as the norm.

I fully doubt that you are an expert in haircare, or black haircare, but that's just my opinion, I could be the minority. And judging by your posts, you appear to believe you are schooling people, or dropping knowledge on the ignorant. You come off as offensive, then you switch to defensive mode. Then you revert to the claim that you are an expert again, completing the cycle.

Also, before you take the time to write a novel in response to something, consider what it is exactly that you are arguing against. For example, where on earth did I say that I thought a business was black owned? It's strange that you put words into peoples' mouth and then argue with the words you generated.
No shampoo, no hair pins, no heat, no puffs... Just buns.

Almost MBL

Last edited by Wumi; 05-15-2014 at 05:58 AM. Reason: addition
kids this days are so different than before
kids this days are so different than before
Originally Posted by rigato
And that means?

Lots of Black girls, though not all, mimic having long hair. It doesn't mean their parents and other relations who care for them go and get them a weave.
dixygirl is no longer on the forum.

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