Unsupportive family/friends

Like Tree4Likes
  • 1 Post By Blueblood
  • 1 Post By naturally_me456
  • 1 Post By Dedachan
  • 1 Post By bringingcurliesback?

Whenever I complain about my hair or am genuinely frustrated with my hair, like in tears my family and friends are SO dismissive. Like tonight for example me and my boyfriend had a dinner party and yesterday my curls were like superstar beautiful. I work my butt off on them tonight and they look AWFUL for our party. I put in a touch too much oil and its stringy and limp. I'm nearly in tears and people are supposed to come over. He just tells me "I guess learn better next time." "I spent over three hours today on this! It's frustrating!" He just told me I'm driving him nuts. My family is the same way, dismissing my distress as neurotic or silly. I have no natural friends and no one understands.
Fine, 2c-3a, high porosity, high density, bleached ends.


Hair hates glycerin
Thing is to other people who love you, you are more than just your hair and your appearance so they don't notice your bad hair days.
curlypearl likes this.
Being natural can be frustrating sometimes,with keeping moisture,and frizz.Your hair isn't always going to agree with you.Bad hair days are going to happen.Thats something that they might have to come to accept.Sometime you need someone to talk to,listen,and understand you.i talk about hair.But i mean i don't really know that people with curly hair(even if they do have curly hair they don't exactly want to talk about it).If you would like we could be curl friends..
curlypearl likes this.
People won't understand because it's just hair to them or they don't understand the specifics of curly hair (a bit like discussing your favourite tv show with someone who's never watched it. They'll nod and a listen a bit, but they don't really know what you are on about).

We are all usually very self-conscious about our own selves when other people really aren't taking that much notice of how we look, so don't worry so much about it.

There are plenty of curlies over here to help and listen. There is a learning curve with how to treat curly hair. The important thing is you are on the path and soon enough you will have a routine that is quick and easy for you.
curlypearl likes this.
Being natural can be frustrating sometimes,with keeping moisture,and frizz.Your hair isn't always going to agree with you.Bad hair days are going to happen.Thats something that they might have to come to accept.Sometime you need someone to talk to,listen,and understand you.i talk about hair.But i mean i don't really know that people with curly hair(even if they do have curly hair they don't exactly want to talk about it).If you would like we could be curl friends..
Originally Posted by naturally_me456
You're so sweet!! That would be so nice, I'd love to!!

I know they don't understand it and see me as more then my hair but would it be so hard to just say "I would be frustrated too! That sucks." Instead of dismissing it? I guess it doesn't help that people assume curls are so low maintenance. Friends always say to me "can't you just wash it and blow dry it then you're done??" Nope! Not this curly anyways!!
Fine, 2c-3a, high porosity, high density, bleached ends.


Hair hates glycerin
They won't understand always. And perhaps may never understand the struggle like ever. But we're here for you girl.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using CurlTalk App
curlypearl likes this.
Sometimes I get carried away and manipulate him too much. He tells me he's fine on his own but I never listen. I wash him less now and all in all we're happy.
Beast's Favorite Things:
Shea Moisture
Kinky Curly
Curl Junkie
Natural Stuff
BC #2: 10/2/13
2c/3a/3b w/ loose botticellis, whirls and curls,
Coarse, High Porosity;CG since 2007
I've experienced the same/similar things, especially from my mother who is Asian with stick-straight hair. "It's just hair!" Yeah, easy for her to say. She's always on me for taking more than 5-minute showers (my state is in a serious drought right now). Um....5-minute showers are NOT going to happen, lol.
CG since Dec. 2013
3b/c ~ fine ~ high porosity ~ low density
I have body dismorphia and I struggle with this too. I'm pretty closed off about my feelings and I don't tell my family much about what it's like for me. They're not so much unsupportive as they are a little ignorant, which is my fault. If my hair doesn't go right in the morning I will get very upset/annoyed, especially if I have a time limit to style it I will start stressing out majorly. My hair is the only thing I like about my appearance so I've overinflated the importance of it in my mind, like it can make or break my day. Which I know is unhealthy.

For me, I like everything pertaining to my routine to be a certain 'way', I can't really explain it but I'm really really picky about it. Like, I need the placement of lighting and mirrors to be in a certain arrangement (this is for makeup too), and if this changes then I feel like my whole routine could be thrown off and there's more chance of things going wrong. Last year my parents painted the bathroom and of course the shower was out of use for a few days. When they told me I immediately started panicking because I was overdue to wash my hair already at that point. I got really upset, mostly because people might have thought I was being ridiculously overreactive. However my mum came and talked to me (my parents are both psychiatric nurses, so they're good at that) and I told her everything about my therapy and how I feel about how I look, and she had guessed already that I don't like the way I do things to be changed, even for a short period of time.

I have a very supportive (long distance) boyfriend though that I can tell everything to, when I stay with him and his family he knows what goes through my head in regards to my appearance and if I start tearing up while I'm trying to style my hair he knows that I'm getting stressed out over it. My hair always looks nice to him (apparently) though so I don't know, maybe it's all in my head.
Pre Shampoo: Olive Oil
Low Shampoo: Redken Curvaceous Cream Shampoo
Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture
Treatments: SM Yucca & Baobab Masque/SM African Black Soap Masque/Joico K-Pak Reconstructor
Leave in/Oil:Castor Oil/Redken Diamond Oil Conditioner
Styling: AG Recoil Curl Activator/V05 Mega Hold/Cornstarch
Refresh: Redken Fresh Curls Curl Boost


Waist Length, 2B with 2C ends
I have body dismorphia and I struggle with this too. I'm pretty closed off about my feelings and I don't tell my family much about what it's like for me. They're not so much unsupportive as they are a little ignorant, which is my fault. If my hair doesn't go right in the morning I will get very upset/annoyed, especially if I have a time limit to style it I will start stressing out majorly. My hair is the only thing I like about my appearance so I've overinflated the importance of it in my mind, like it can make or break my day. Which I know is unhealthy.

For me, I like everything pertaining to my routine to be a certain 'way', I can't really explain it but I'm really really picky about it. Like, I need the placement of lighting and mirrors to be in a certain arrangement (this is for makeup too), and if this changes then I feel like my whole routine could be thrown off and there's more chance of things going wrong. Last year my parents painted the bathroom and of course the shower was out of use for a few days. When they told me I immediately started panicking because I was overdue to wash my hair already at that point. I got really upset, mostly because people might have thought I was being ridiculously overreactive. However my mum came and talked to me (my parents are both psychiatric nurses, so they're good at that) and I told her everything about my therapy and how I feel about how I look, and she had guessed already that I don't like the way I do things to be changed, even for a short period of time.

I have a very supportive (long distance) boyfriend though that I can tell everything to, when I stay with him and his family he knows what goes through my head in regards to my appearance and if I start tearing up while I'm trying to style my hair he knows that I'm getting stressed out over it. My hair always looks nice to him (apparently) though so I don't know, maybe it's all in my head.
Originally Posted by eveum
I'm kind of like that too, I hate when people mess up my schedule. I like knowing exactly how much time I have to do everything and when people spontaneously change plans it really makes me panic. It sounds like your parents are trying to be supportive though, and want to understand!
Fine, 2c-3a, high porosity, high density, bleached ends.


Hair hates glycerin

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:01 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com