No Support :(

So recently I've been going on and on about a DevaCut I'm about to get, and it seems like my dad is excited for me, and my little brother maybe (I doubt he actually knows what's going on though lol). But my mom? Nope!


I got really excited when talk of my haircut came up, and quickly found opposition from my mom. She's very traditional, and is completely against the idea of my hair being any shorter. She already seems to dislike the fact that I cut it in May, and although I try to tell her that this cut is going to be good for my hair (getting rid of heat damage, split ends, etc.), she will not budge. She insists that cutting my hair is unnecessary, and even brought up the whole 'a woman's hair is her beauty' or whatever thing and that a girl's hair should be long. I tried to tell her that when I cut my hair, once all the split ends/bad stuff is gone, my hair can grow more because it will be healthy, but it did no good.


I know she probably couldn't tell because I laughed it off, but it really disappointed me that she wasn't sharing my excitement in this. Even moreso because I know that if I were going to get something done to my hair that would damage it (flat-ironing, color, etc.), she would be excited and even want to stay to see it happen. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why she has seemed to be so opposed to my going natural from the very day I decided to, and it hurts. I would discuss it with her like we usually do when we have issues, but her reactions to my trying to explain have really put me off. I'm just really hoping now that my stylist does a good job with my DevaCut, but deep down I feel like she won't be happy with it until years from now when it has grown out and is down my back like it once was. And maybe even then she will still say this cut was unnecessary. But at the end of the day, I feel like in this case, I know I'm right.


I hate going against what she likes (not necessarily what she wants, otherwise she wouldn't be paying for the cut period), but I know that this will help. I would rather her be unhappy with my hair shorter than me be unhappy with my hair longer and damaged and continuously tangling from split ends... :/
Medium/fine textured dark brown hair. Normal porosity, with high porosity on the canopy, high density. 3A/B/C mix.

•Conditioner: DevaCare One Condition
•No-poo: Curls Sulfate-Free Shampoo.
•Styler: DevaCurl Light Defining Gel
•Weekly DC. Monthly protein treatment. CG as of 12/?/2014, BC 04/?/2015. First CG cut 7/9/2015.

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Honestly, if we were best friends or anything like that I would give you a hug.
I don't know how old you are but I'll say this, if your parent(s) want you to do something that is incorrect and you know it's not good, then don't do it. I know it way seam strange, but hopefully they'll come around and accept it.
I know many true stories about children who's parents were in the wrong and the child decided to do right. Some of these children were beaten to death or kicked out of the family but they still pushed through. And you know what? They are happy now, because their life has been improved.
Although not all parents received their children back with open arms, some did, and were changed.
I know in your situation it's probably not that drastic and I'm pretty sure your mother isn't abusive. But stick to your gut. Do what you know is right, even if no one is doing/helping/supporting you.
I know this sounds cliche, but it is the truth. So if I were you, I would get the Deva cut. It's your hair not hers. Now I'm not saying don't respect your mother. You still need to do that. But like I said, if it's wrong, don't do it.
Have you ever told her how she makes you feel? I'm sure she only wants what's best for you and dyed, straight hair might be what she thinks is best.
Hope this helps you in any way possible.

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It does. We seem to be thinking the same! I'm gonna go through with it and hope that she either comes to like it, or doesn't really say much after since once it's cut, that obviously can't be changed. It's a weird situation since I'm 19, but my age also helps, because at the end of what she says she always adds, "but you're an adult now, so do what you want". Not exactly the way I'd like to receive permission, but it works!

Also my dad has been helpful. I really haven't given him the credit he deserves. Ever since I first decided to go curly (and even before that) he has always been supportive of my curls. And I didn't even think about it until now, but that's probably the reason I am even getting the cut, since he is the one who is paying! Although my mom doesn't approve, because he either does (or just doesn't care, I'm not sure), I'm still able to get it done.

But hearing her saying all of that was just wild! I'll probably try to sit down and talk it out with her sometime, though maybe after the cut just in case...
Medium/fine textured dark brown hair. Normal porosity, with high porosity on the canopy, high density. 3A/B/C mix.

•Conditioner: DevaCare One Condition
•No-poo: Curls Sulfate-Free Shampoo.
•Styler: DevaCurl Light Defining Gel
•Weekly DC. Monthly protein treatment. CG as of 12/?/2014, BC 04/?/2015. First CG cut 7/9/2015.

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