My 5 year old hates her curly hair...thanks disney.

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My 5 year old constantly complains about her curly hair and how she wishes she had straight BLONDE hair. Im black and her father is white. I used to perm my hair so the comments used to be "mommy why isnt my hair straight like yours?" It made me so sad she didnt love herself. She watched things like Frozen and Cinderella and that jist hardened her resolve that the most beautiful girls have straight blonde hair. I decided to cut off my relaxed hair in Feb because i wanted to show her that mommys hair is curly too. It helped some. I try to go online and show her beautiful women that have hair like hers. that shes beautiful just the way she is. But a 5 year old sees beauty in her disney prinseess...we need a curly disney princess. A couple...all different skin color shades and textures. Have any moms or dads had thier daughters or sons hate thier hair???
Hug your daughter for me.

When I was 5, I heard my grandmother say that I got my fathers nose. I knew my grandmother hated my father, so I hated my nose for the next 20 years, no lie. Eventually, I realized it's just a nose. It smells things and helps hold up my glasses. It's fine.

I would continue to show your daughter curly hair. Every day, show her women and girls with hair like hers. There are books, websites and shows aimed at helping black girls see their beauty in a sea of white media, they can help.

But what will help more is your embracing you. Pat yourself on the back. She comes from you, she needs to see you loving yourself so she can love herself. You are a wonderful mother, she's lucky to have you.
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Oh thanks so much. I knew the only way i could genuinely get her to feel beautiful in her own skin was for me to show her i feel beautiful in mine. She sees me growing my hair out and i try to show her as much as possible people ware curly hair and how beautiful we are. I hope its sinking in...i still hear her say she wishesfor straight hair whenever she sees someone with it. Work in progress. Youve made me feel great though.
Sundial and MorrisonFan91 like this.
Watch Brave with your daughter.

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DeltaOrionis likes this.
Maybe I am wrong, but this seems like this goes beyond Disney. Merida of Brave has very curly hair that is even a little kinky and wiry, definitely in the 3b/3c range. Tia has medium dark brown skin and very curly hair and is either black or African-American. Many of the Disney princesses have wavy hair.

Not sure exactly what your daughter looks like ethnicity or race wise, but I understand that people who don't fit in the norm can sense it when no one remotely looks like them. I have sensed this at certain times in my life. What you're doing is great. Fortunately, kids programming is becoming more diverse. However, there aren't too many type 4 princess or girly girls on cartoons and kid programming.

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curlypearl likes this.
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Have her watch Home (it's a cartoon movie) the main character is an African american little girl with curly hair. There's a show on it too, on Netflix.
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yes she loves home!! That is a good one. My son hes two but has wavy hair loves that movie as well.
Thank you for nurturing your daughter's esteem.


My dad has tried his best to do opposite.

Last edited by MorrisonFan91; 09-21-2016 at 07:17 AM.
That is so sweet.

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This is her. I picked her fine 3c hair out into an afro she loved it. Beautiful isnt she. Her name is LILY.
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My 5 year old hates her curly hair...thanks disney.-20160921_063858.jpg  
curlypearl and CatitudeBoo like this.
Im so sorry to the ladies who said thier parents gave them a tough time about thier curls. Im so happy to hear youre all loving your curls now.
It's great you're teaching her to love her curls. Maybe show her the before/after CG pictures thread on this site:
Post your before & After CG pics
Though there aren't many photos of children on it, but maybe seeing many other women who hated (but now love and embrace) their hair and how beautiful it can be might be inspiring to her.

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Your daughter has beautiful hair, I love it. Also, I wanted to say, my daughter's name is also Lily . Lily Marie

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Merida and Tiana are curly Disney princesses. But honestly, the whole Disney princess thing (older ones anyway) are so out of touch and anti-woman. (I wasn't even allowed to watch those movies as a child.) They really need to be accompanied by a long conversation if you're going to show them to a little girl nowadays. And imo, if you're raising an African American daughter, (esp a biracial one) you need to literally double-up on proBlack images to counter the deluge of White normative ones.

Your daughter has beautiful hair, I love it. Also, I wanted to say, my daughter's name is also Lily . Lily Marie

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Originally Posted by curlyannie80
Lily Marie was ALMOST her name!!! That's my middle name...but I went with my mom's instead...small world.



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Yes THATS exactly what I've been doing. It's helping...yesterday she asked me to fluff out her curls into an afro cause my mom showed her a picture of Angela Davis lol...then I got a call from a teacher that she pushed a little boy down for hitting her and saying her hair was ugly....i got her ice cream 😂😂😂😂 I'm determined to counter every eurocentric beauty standard I encounter to let her know she is beautiful. BTW my fro is getting bigger as well and I'm absolutely loving it...You ladies are AWESOME

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