hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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I've heard so many of these comments about my own hair that it's so nice to know I am not alone.

The two comments I have gotten that have always stood out to me are:

"You have a 'fro!" (Which is always said in a mocking or teasing or disgusted tone.) <--I am Caucasian, and I think the tone in which my Caucasian friends said "afro" speaks to their ignorance about other types of hair and different cultures.

"You look like a Cocker Spaniel. Your hair looks like the ears." <--This one has always stuck with me. That this person thought my hair made me resemble a dog. People's cruelty knows no bounds unfortunately.
I was always called Brillohead or pubic-hair-on-her-head.

Now, as a 38 year old I love my curls and wouldn't change em for anyone! I think curls are hot and sexy! So does my DH! He loves curlygirls!!
3B, with oodles and oodles of curly hair!
Summer Faves: Devacare NoPoo & OneC, CF High Humidity Gel.
2nd day hair: Deva Set Me Up pomade & Mr. Right
DT: Devacurl Heaven in Hair
Been CG since 2005 and never looked back!


At practice today, we were lined up to do these different running drills, and the girl behind me said "Hmm... Your hair is kind of fluffy!" :x

It's not MY fault that it was so humid out today! Yes, my hair was kind of big today, but...
1) I can't control the weather
2) You didn't need to point it out, keep it to yourself if that's how you really felt.
3) Your hair is freaking PIN STRAIGHT, I don't care what you think of my hair. Kay? You have no idea how hard my hair is to deal with, especially on humid days. I'm not like you - I can't get right out of the shower with wet hair, and not do anything with it.

Ahem, anyway, that's enough ranting from me.

Sarah

"And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance
But you are not alone in this"

“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” - Tina Fey
I'm being seated to have dinner with my friend -- a friend with a sarcastic edge. The waiter asks if he can get us anything to drink. We order. As he walks away, my friend adds...." Oh, and how about a comb and a straightening iron for her". Only I heard it and she thought it was funny---nevertheless, it tells me something about her and about how resistant people can be to curly hair.
3B-NoPoo,OneC,AnGell,Joiwhip,Jessicurl


My most-hated insults are the kind that suggest the only reason I wear my hair curly is that I'm just lazy, or that straightening it would be so easy. I can't count the number of times I've complained to a friend about a bad hair day, and they've said, "Why don't you just straighten it?" Um, let's see...because that even takes professionals two hours to do to my hair? For the same reason you wouldn't "just perm" yours?
For my Bat Mitzvah, I wanted to do something that was a bit of a departure from my normal style, but definitely not straight. I had my hair set in rollers to create gentle waves that were very 40s starlet. I felt great until, at my party, a girl said to me, "You should wear your hair like that every day!" The audacity of a comment like that! As if you would ever tell a straight-haired woman to spend an hour and a half and 60 bucks every day getting a professional stylist to pull and pin her hair into the kind of updo she wears for parties!
Once, in grade six (the most awkward year of anyone's life), I was rooting through my locker when I felt a tap on the shoulder. I turned around and a strange woman said to me, "I just wanted to see the owner of these beautiful curls!" I kept that compliment with me through the next five years of torment. After awhile, I started getting more compliments than insults, and now I'm known for my beautiful, naturally curly hair, not for being, as one person once called me, a "chia pet."
My most-hated insults are the kind that suggest the only reason I wear my hair curly is that I'm just lazy, or that straightening it would be so easy. I can't count the number of times I've complained to a friend about a bad hair day, and they've said, "Why don't you just straighten it?" Um, let's see...because that even takes professionals two hours to do to my hair? For the same reason you wouldn't "just perm" yours?
For my Bat Mitzvah, I wanted to do something that was a bit of a departure from my normal style, but definitely not straight. I had my hair set in rollers to create gentle waves that were very 40s starlet. I felt great until, at my party, a girl said to me, "You should wear your hair like that every day!" The audacity of a comment like that! As if you would ever tell a straight-haired woman to spend an hour and a half and 60 bucks every day getting a professional stylist to pull and pin her hair into the kind of updo she wears for parties!
Once, in grade six (the most awkward year of anyone's life), I was rooting through my locker when I felt a tap on the shoulder. I turned around and a strange woman said to me, "I just wanted to see the owner of these beautiful curls!" I kept that compliment with me through the next five years of torment. After awhile, I started getting more compliments than insults, and now I'm known for my beautiful, naturally curly hair, not for being, as one person once called me, a "chia pet."
Originally Posted by pronek
Ooooh, those are the worst! Like "I love you with straight hair, why don't you wear it like that all the time??" Hello, this isn't easy.
I feel your pain!
OMG, LOOK!!

...It's a siggie.
Hah, WE'RE lazy? I know so many friends with straight hair who get up, brush their hair, and are out the door. Me, I have to wake up an hour earlier to shower and condition so that my hair isn't a knotted mess.

I haven't had any insults, at least not to my face, but I know whenever I went to high school, my peers would only compliment my hair if I decided to wear it straight that day. It always irritated me to no end. Now I don't straighten it at all. So many people ask me if I get it permed because hardly any curly girls wear theirs' naturally. It's such a shame, although I love being able to say, "No, it's natural."
One day when I was in High School my best friend said to me, "you look like you stuck your hand in a light socket!" I was sooo upset, keep in mind, this was my best friend! I struggled with my curly hair for years! This particular day I thought it looked nice, I used hot curlers almost every day because I didn't know of any other way to do it.
Very hurtful!
Then on a bad hair day I had a guy that sat behind me on the school bus tell me I looked like I had a mushroom on my head. I was so embarrased! I just wish they could see me now!!
"I like your hair better straight".
Holding a Grudge is Like Drinking Poison Hoping the Other Person will Die.
I vividly remember being nicknamed Sarah-Fuzzy-Haira by my soccer team. But now that I'm doing the CG routine people complement my curls all the time and ask to touch my hair! I'm in highschool and the look is basically always stick straight because wavy and curly girls just straighten their hair. But now people envy my hair and pull my ringlets!

3a/b low to normal porosity curls
CG method since 2006 @:-)
fotki pw: whim updated 06.05.14
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rinse out CO: GVP conditioning balm & honey <3
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Blog: Curls and Blossoms

When people say 'It's easy fo you, you don't have to straighten your hair!' Excuse me it takes me longer to get my hair nice than for you to straighten your hair and besdies after 1 day of straightening your hair and leaving it it's fine for another day but with me it's not. OMG straight haired people just don't understand!
Pass: curly
3A.
My story is really hurtful...I've tried so long to forget it and I wasn't going to tell, but I guess I should.
When I was 12, I had no clue what to do with my hair. It was around this time that I had my fear of hairdressers because none of them really knew what to do with it. So I'd pull it back in a ponytail or a braid, which caused frizz and 'wings' in front of my head. Anyway, one horrible day, some kids in my Spanish class were fooling around with some clear spray that was quick-drying and made it impossible for chalk to be erased from the board. They actually wrote on the back board "(my name here) is nappy and ugly" and put the spray over it. I tried to stop them from doing it, but they held me back. The teacher asked the next day who did it and they confessed, but it didn't matter; that message stayed up there for a week before the custodians finally got it in their heads to use soap and water to wipe it off. It wasn't exactly the worst thing that happened to me, but I never forgot it and I never forgave the boys that did it. (not that they said they were sorry, but still)
I use the Totally Twisted line from Herbal Essences: Conditioner/gel daily; shampoo and Wella In-Depth treatment once a week.

"Wishes, on their way to coming true, will not be rushed." -From Arnold Lobel's Caldecott Medal-winning book "Fables"
My story is really hurtful...I've tried so long to forget it and I wasn't going to tell, but I guess I should.
When I was 12, I had no clue what to do with my hair. It was around this time that I had my fear of hairdressers because none of them really knew what to do with it. So I'd pull it back in a ponytail or a braid, which caused frizz and 'wings' in front of my head. Anyway, one horrible day, some kids in my Spanish class were fooling around with some clear spray that was quick-drying and made it impossible for chalk to be erased from the board. They actually wrote on the back board "(my name here) is nappy and ugly" and put the spray over it. I tried to stop them from doing it, but they held me back. The teacher asked the next day who did it and they confessed, but it didn't matter; that message stayed up there for a week before the custodians finally got it in their heads to use soap and water to wipe it off. It wasn't exactly the worst thing that happened to me, but I never forgot it and I never forgave the boys that did it. (not that they said they were sorry, but still)
Originally Posted by blueangel0925
What jerks! Some kids (and adults) are just total insensitive jerks. Wouldn't it be great to show them your gorgeous hair and tell them they can never get such gorgeous "ugly" hair if they try?
OMG, LOOK!!

...It's a siggie.
You gals will probably hate me for saying this but fortunately as a guy one advantage is to reply with, "Well, at least I have mine." Which is no small feat for some of us.
gniesam likes this.
You gals will probably hate me for saying this but fortunately as a guy one advantage is to reply with, "Well, at least I have mine." Which is no small feat for some of us.
Originally Posted by bobby


Good comeback.
I use the Totally Twisted line from Herbal Essences: Conditioner/gel daily; shampoo and Wella In-Depth treatment once a week.

"Wishes, on their way to coming true, will not be rushed." -From Arnold Lobel's Caldecott Medal-winning book "Fables"
well i was trying to think of bad experiences to type for this, but i didnt really have that many bad ones, i mean when i was a kid my hair was 3a golden blonde and i loved it, i remember first going into preschool i told my mom i didnt see anyone with hair like mine, they all had hair like her (straighty) and shes like."isnt that cool?" so ya i liked mine, but i DO remember in like middle school it got a little bit curlier and one day i let my cousin straigten my hair, i went to school and everyone was like "daaaaammnnn" they liked it..but i got so sick of everyone telling me how much better it looked..i went into the school bathroom and just totally soacked my head and put my hair into a pony tail! lol idk about all you other fellow curlys out there but i definetlly think my hairs a part of my personality, ya know? crazy curly shelby
I have always had curly hair, but my mom would try to brush it out every morning. I would cry every single time.

I usually wore my hair wavy and frizzy, as straighteners didn't exist when I was in high school. I used a curling iron to "straighten" my hair for prom! In college, I realized I had always had curly hair that had been trapped in a ponytail for years so I wore it curly and bought products for the first time. My college friends loved it, but one day when I was working I relapsed into that terrible mental state of junior high (where kids said I didn't have "hair," I just had "frizz"). As a pre-school teacher, I had very sweet students. One girl (4 years old) had stick straight hair and loved my curly locks. Then one day she told me that her mom had told her that I didn't brush my hair and that's why "it looked like that."

What's funny about that incident is that I felt like we had the same mothers. This incident actually propelled me to straighten my hair the next week and received lots of compliments for the last few years whenever it's straight.

Other wonderful comments--

From a co-worker: "I have curly hair but only wear it that way when I feel like being lazy." Same co-worker: "You could be a white Beyonce for Halloween."

Another co-worker: "Are you going for the 80s look today?"

My cousin's wife saw a picture of me with straight hair and said to me, "You look like a model with straight hair. You should wear it like that."

Hairdresser: "You have a ton of hair. I hear that when people get pregnant their curls naturally relax and change texture. So there's hope for you!"

In junior high: "Your hair is ugly." Also I got the name "Poof Poof." And the kids who tried to throw junk into my hair thinking I wouldn't feel it.

Now I'm in my mid-20s, and one of my students said, "Wow, how do you manage all of that hair?" And then giggled to her friend.

Also, last Christmas my mom actually stopped taking the family picture to have me go to the mirror and "tame the afro." The tears began forming, and I felt embarrassed that it still affects me so much. When my mom met me for lunch last month she said, "Well I'm sooo glad you tried to fix your hair when I take you out to lunch (sarcasm). Don't you own a comb? It looks like a mop. Did you bring a rubberband?"

What's sad is that I actually believe the comments in a way. I still wear it curly a lot, but I'd like to be confident enough to wear it curly everyday. I also don't understand why people act like it's my fault that my hair is curly, that it's some sign of being ugly in itself.
When I was in high school, I cut my hair really, really short. One day I had shed a hair on my shoulder (as is bound to happen) and my friend picked it up and said "Omg it's short, black and curly. IT'S A PUBE!!!" and so my friends called me ******** and soon other people picked up on it.

One time-before I knew how to take care of my hair and so I brushed it out and made it big- my cousin said I looked like a gorilla.

When I was 12 we moved from Brooklyn, NY to a small town in Arkansas where the white and black populations were really segregated. We lived in the "white" part of town and I was one of 5 non-white kids in my junior high. One time I was standing in line at the grocery store with my mom and a little kid behind me pointed and said,"Mommy why is her hair like that?" and her mother replied, "Because she doesn't wash it". I ended up crying on the way home. I'm multi-racial and I've had many, many people suggest to me that if I just straightened my hair, I wouldn't look so "ethnic".
Thin 3C-ish curls
If you want to see 'em, password is jabberwocky.


When I was in high school, I cut my hair really, really short. One day I had shed a hair on my shoulder (as is bound to happen) and my friend picked it up and said "Omg it's short, black and curly. IT'S A PUBE!!!" and so my friends called me &%$@#! and soon other people picked up on it.

One time-before I knew how to take care of my hair and so I brushed it out and made it big- my cousin said I looked like a gorilla.

When I was 12 we moved from Brooklyn, NY to a small town in Arkansas where the white and black populations were really segregated. We lived in the "white" part of town and I was one of 5 non-white kids in my junior high. One time I was standing in line at the grocery store with my mom and a little kid behind me pointed and said,"Mommy why is her hair like that?" and her mother replied, "Because she doesn't wash it". I ended up crying on the way home. I'm multi-racial and I've had many, many people suggest to me that if I just straightened my hair, I wouldn't look so "ethnic".
Originally Posted by Brillig
That's terrible! I feel so bad for you. I know what it's like to be 'different' and to have the supposedly normal people deliberately misunderstand you. I'm sorry that you heard those things; people are so cruel.
I use the Totally Twisted line from Herbal Essences: Conditioner/gel daily; shampoo and Wella In-Depth treatment once a week.

"Wishes, on their way to coming true, will not be rushed." -From Arnold Lobel's Caldecott Medal-winning book "Fables"
Reading all of your stories, I feel lucky, I haven't had too many negatives remarks about my curly hair! The ones I have had though-

"Why don't you straighten your hair more often? It's so pretty that way!" tons of people say that to me... grr.. and then my best friend says to me "i guess you're just too lazy huh?" agh! sometimes people will toss little peices of crumpled paper into my hair because it sticks which is really annoying. ALL the time, people say "ohh you have a 'fro!" which is obviously not true, i have 3b curls that are very fine. people "boing" my curls a lot too, which doesn't really bother me but they don't understand my hair can't be touched too much or it will get frizzy!

also, it seems i get tons of compliments on my straight hair but not that often on my curly hair.

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