The other day I made the comment, "Man, my hair is frizzy today!" to which my 4 year old son matter-of-factly replied, "You look good in frizzy hair, Mom!"
Gotta love kids!
I think the rudest comments have come from stylists who want to thin or texturize it to "get it under control!" One even said I've got great hair, but it can start to look like a helmet after awhile. I guess it didn't help that at the time I really didn't know how to work with my crazy waves! Glad to be here!!
Tell me about it, when i was in high school, i got my hair done for the formal (prom) and the stylist was putting it into a french twist. a straight french twist.
"You have too much hair!" she complained. gee thanks.
the beginning of this year (my freshman year) i was talkin to one of my stick straight haired friends.. and i told her that her hair was so pretty and sometimes i wish mine was like hers so i didnt have to deal with so much, then i said yea we should trade sometime, and she said uhh no offence or anything but i wouldnt want your hair. and i was just like uhh.. offence taken! i dont c how someone can say something like that!
then there was my 8th grade year. this stuck up girl who nobody liked cuz she was such a hippocrate came up to me and my other curly haired friend one day and started talking to us, and we were tryin not to talk to her much bcuz of things she's said and done in the past.. i wont even get started on that, and i looked at my friend and i was talkin about my hair and i was like "omg my hair is so poofy today!!" and this stuck up girl said "uh hun, your hair is ALWAYS poofy"
then i get made fun of by my friends all the time... which doesnt' bother me near as bad, and i laugh with em cuz they're not really saying it to be mean.. although it does still hurt my feelings because i know there's a little truth in every joke. but i actually like my curls!! other than the occasional hairday... they set me apart from everyone and make me stand out. so to all those straight haired people out there who think you're "perfect" and try to down us curly people because were not exactly like u and everyone else, shove it... because i officially don't care what you or anyone else has to say about my hair, because i like it and that's all that matters.
(after saying I was looking up stuff for curly hair) "You don't have curly hair, you have frizzy hair." Then the same dude basically insults me a bunch more about my intelligence and my looks, etc. (he's really great at the indirect insult).
Most everyone else I know knows not to say anything about my hair. Supposedly on bad hair days I'm pretty frightening. I know this because once (walking through church, none the less) a little boy was walking down the hall in the opposite direction from me. He kind of stopped and looked at me for a moment, then cried "YOUR SCARY!", turned, and ran back into his classroom.
My friends don't say anything about my hair because I'm scary, and they normally find better things to poke fun at. Or they just don't notice.
As for the girls who don't know me, they just kind of get this horribly obnoxious look on their face and give me that look (you know, with their eyes glazed and half closed, their mouth open in a "silent" scoff. They also laugh, kind of, in that chilling, forced laugh way) and just look at my hair for a minute, then look me in the eye. Then the rest of the year they just snub me. And guys never look at me. As for the nice girls who are to polite to give me the look, they don't talk to me much (not intentional snubbing, unconscious snubbing.) No unique insults, though.
Though on the other side of the fence, my mom got this really bad hair cut once (she has straight hair, though it's a bit uncontrollable). The first time I saw it was on the way home from school. Some how the conversation drifted to this:
Mom - "Well, I'm okay with it. I've had worse."
Me - "Really?" (with a shocked look on my face).
I couldn't believe I actually said that. I was just taken by surprise. Luckily, she thought it was funny. So next time a good friend blurts something out, I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Well, I asked a dear friend of my to hold one side of my hair in place while I pulled the other side up so I could put my hair half up and she said, "Yeah no prob. Thank God I don't have curly hair though!" and I shot her a look like "WTF?" and she said, "Oh, no, no! I just mean I'm not girly enough to deal with curly hair. You seem to do just fine with it though." Yeah, okay. I needed someone to hold my hair up so I wouldn't be lopsided. My request had nothing to do with the texture of my hair. I've asked friends to do that before when I wore my hair straight. Thanks for being a beeyotch.
- Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
- Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.
But I always get fed "those lines" from one of my best friends that "all u have to do is <insert "simple" trick here such as flat ironing> to get your hair to be straight." When really, it would take hours upon hours of hot hot heat of flat ironing to get it straight EVERY DAY. So I would get a relaxer to make it easier to get it straight, and promptly get reprimanded by my ex best friend "girl, you did NOT NEED a relaxer! all u needed was to flat iron it every day!" "Girl you got that 'good' hair! you don't need to do all of that!" It was so annoying.
And my mom always makes comments that my hair is so "good" that i "just don't know WHAT do to with it."
It was my other friend (with stick straight hair) who would watch me sit in the mirror spending hours straightening my hair before a trip to the mall (u know u have to look hot, fine guys are there!) and exasperatedly say: I JUST WISH YOU WOULD LEAVE YOUR HAIR ALONE! to make me realize how much time and effort it was taking me to fix it. She would make attempts to show me how to fix my hair nice without straightening. (Bless her heart, she didn't quit know what she was doing being that she has stick straight hair and no experience with curly hair, but it was the thought and effort that counted.)
I understand. I my hair is 4a and people keep telling me get a relaxer, get a hot comb. It's so annoying. If you want straight hair fine, but I'm not getting it to fit in with you guys so my hair can become dry brittle and break off again.
My Aunt and my grandma are always telling me to "run a brush through that rats nest, it looks like ****." My cousin got married once, and when we(me and my mom) went to pick up my grandma she took one look at me and said "Sarah(my mom, btw)! What were you thinking letting her out of the house with her hair looking like that, much less going to a wedding?! You call yourself a hair dresser? You should be ashamed of yourself! Ashamed! Girl get your ass in that bathroom and don't come out untill its decent!" So I went and brushed it. And when I got out this was our conversation:
Me: Ok grandma I brushed it.
Gran: Liar! If you had brushed it it would be strait. Now go brush it before I do it for you.
Mamma: Mom, her hair wont go strait no matter how much she brushes it, thats just how it is.
Gran: ********! Now get in there and brush that hair strait.
I went in there and cut it all off. Needless to say I was in trouble.
So up untill the fifth grade I brushed it out. One day this girl walked up to me and asked me if I brushed my hair. I told her yes and she said "Then why is it so frizzy?"
In middle school, people would ball up little peices of paper and gum wrappers and throw them into my hair. One day in sixth grade a girl came up behind me and started brushing my hair, then she kept asking me why it didnt straiten out when I brushed it. So in seventh grade I got a haircut that was extreamly short in the back(as in buzz cut short) and got longer twards the front, and I had to straiten it every day. Most people loved it, but my friends decided to tell me then that it looked good curly.
A few weeks ago my dad told me to send him a picture of me. after I sent it he called me a few minutes later and said "OK, I'm going to tell you to do something and I want you to listen to me verry carefully, ok? STRAITEN. THE. TUMBELWEED. Got it brill(short for brillo)?" And he's the one I got it from too.
I have a lot more but those are the ones that really stuck with me.
I've been told I have big bushy hair, but usually it's because people just don't understand how curly hair works.On the plus side mine is more tame now.
"The world is a fine place and worth fighting for."
CG since June 15th, 2008
3b very thick hair with very kinky (possibly 3c) curls underneath
Went Deva Care line beginning
September 23, 2009
Update: 10/12/2009 I can't stop playing with my curls!! So soft, shiny and manageable!!!! IN LOVE WITH DEVA Products!!!!!! YIPPPIE!!!!
My mom has stick straight, limp, fine, blond hair...
I have no clue where my dark brown curls came from.
Oddly enough, my mom loves my hair, at least when it's brushed, which is how I did my hair for the first 17 years of my life (and hated every minute of it).... she says things like "I wish my hair had that much body." The rest of my family basically thinks I look like a heathen unless my hair is tied back or ironed.
When I finally realized that my hair is curly and not frizzy & "full of body" as my mom would say, I started wearing it curly. Whenever she sees it now she just shakes her head and sighs. She thinks it looks "greasy" (greasy=sleek and shiny) and messy (messy=bouncy).
I've pretty much given up on her.
All through high school I had a giant combed out mess of hair, so I got a lot of mean comments and even a suggestion to "oil that sh*t down." Now that I'm in college, and wear it curly and occasionally straightened (ironed), I've actually gotten all compliments on the curliness.
My asian roommate with stick straight hair, a week after I met her- "I wish I could get my hair to curl, every time I use a curling iron, it falls straight after like 10 minutes. What do you use to get your to hold?"
Me- "um... genetics?
Her- "...seriously? I hate you. *hugs*
And then there's the boyfriend He thinks my hair is beautiful and, when I let him touch it, is constantly entertained the *boing* effect. He has stick straight, fine, blond hair (... I just got kind of creeped out by the fact that my boyfriend has the same hair as my mom...)
~Overall I've been pretty lucky, and not had to endure too much teasing.
I've had mixed comments all my life too. Fortunately, my family has always loved my curls. It was me who hated them. I always envied the girls who had the straight hair. They could get it cut in so many different cute styles. It seemed that I had the choice of two. Long with all one length strands or Long with layers. If I go short, I literally have a fro.
I get comments from some people at my church who have said, "Guys like women with straight hair because they can play with it more." "You look so much better with staight hair." I've even had a girl at my job tell me that my curly hair is the reason I can't seem to get a man. (Yes, It has been 3 years since I have been asked out by a man, not a boy.) She says it makes me look like a child which is why no one is willing to date me.
Ok, I'm 31 years old. Uh, if I look a little younger, I'm all for it! I have others in my church who say I look 25. Thank you! If the curls are what helps that, so be it. I am learning to like my curls. I think part of it is, I need the right hair cut. I am to get Curl Keeper here soon. So, hopefully, that will help me as well. We'll see if I start to LOVE my curls. Be blessed!
In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God concerning you.
Well I guess I have gotten called my fair share of names.
But I think the hardest part for me is when you walk in a room and your hair just screams out look at me. I hate being stared at like I'm from mars just because I happen to have big hair. I also hate when your shopping and the georgous willowy blond, with long shiny straight perfect hair behind you just gives you that "uggh, look what the cat drug in" look.
I have shoulder length 3c curls thanks to my grandfather who is french and bohemian.
Admittedly, I used to hate my curly hair, but it seems we all do at some point.
There are girls at my school who are obsessed with straight hair, and curly hair is very rare, especially considering the huge 'scene' base there. Anyhow, I know tons of those girls scowl at the mere sight of my hair, because straight is the 'thing'. It's so 'pretty' and 'hip'. In the mall some girls seriously glared at me because my hair was super curly and crazy.
However, I was always lucky with my friends, who loved my hair, loved to 'sproing' my hair, and beg me for my hair. It used to baffle me, because I thought it was annoying, and always tangled. Although, one thing I didn't understand was why they liked it so much, because back then I didn't take good care of my hair, so it was always messy and tangled.
My sister has curly hair, too. She wished she had a fro, actually. She loved fros. :]
I am pleased to say my boyfriend loves my hair. He finds it beautiful and original. There's too much straight hair, and it's so boring!
Although, one time at school I was complaining to a friend about all the straight hair, and how no one seems to want to be different, or have fun hair, and he said he liked straight hair. Ughh!
But no, I was always picked on. I was the one with crazy, frizzy, curly hair, so that was one reason to hate one. I also had a uni-brow (gone now, yay!), large front teeth, and I was smart. Although, no one minded the smartness. They would talk to me whenever they needed help. Suddenly they liked me when they wanted help with school work. I'm not really a nerd (although I do play video games and watch things like Star Wars), because I dress girly, but I used to dress rather odd. I don't know, I was just a walking freak show, so they had to hate me, without knowing what a kind, loving, accepting person I am.
Sorry for your bad experiences, though. :[
Last edited by toyouxwithlove; 08-19-2008 at 10:39 PM.
Reason: Added something
my boyfriend sophomore year of high school found out my hair was curly for the first time after like 2 months of dating and was like "uhh...now i see why you never wear it curly"
a ton of guys in high school used to say "god you are so much hotter when you straighten your hair. will you please just straighten your hair tomorrow?"
Now that ive stopped straightening and my hair is growing and getting healthier though people really seem to love it. i get compliments all the time. and my sister (7 years old) always says "Gosh HOW do you get your hair like that?? It's so cool! Will my hair ever be curly?" That makes me feel awesome, and I have a feeling her hair will be curly and i'm so glad i'll be able to help her figure out her hair so she doesn't have to suffer through the awkward years like i did!!
heres a knee slapper for you. when i was getting my hair relaxed, two weeks after said relaxer people would ask if i had ever had it straightened. one day that happened in my drama class, and this time it was from a girl whos hair was straightened to death.
My friend AJ loves it, he loves to touch it and pat my head. Wich is funny because you have this slightly preppy gay boy, who is just fascinated with the hair of a really short gothy queer girl. My girlfriend loves my hair to, as well do most of my friends.
3c/4aMCiii normal/low porosity med elasticty
Shampoo- JC Hydrating Invigorating poo, Alaffia Shea & Virgin Coconut Enriching Shampoo, CV poo bars
Rinse out- Natures gate hemp, GSAS
Leave in- GDLI, Beautiful Curls Curl Activating Leave in
DT- Still working on that
Styler- Ecostyler Crystal, Queen Helene Royal Curl Creme
Sealer- castor, Shea butter,jojoba oil
In many ways, I was a very lucky child. I had gorgeous hair as a child. It was soft, frizz free, long, and full of pipe curls. My whole family was in love with my hair. My mom just detangled with her fingers and only washed it every 4 days so she was pretty good with it. I feel so lucky that my parents didn't have my hair cut short.
As I got older, my hair of course turned into a frizzy mess because of hormones. From 5th grade up until my freshman year of college I had no idea how to take care of my hair. In junior high I was often referred to as fluffy and no boys talked to me. My close friends however loved my hair and the fact they could "boing" my curls.
In high school no one really paid any mind to me, but would compliment me when I would occasionally straighten it.
When I got to college I finally learned a few things and started diffusing my hair upside down. My best friend loved it, and boyfriend didn't. He was an ass anyway, always trying to change me. I dumped his sorry ass.
Now, I embrace my curls and refuse to straighten it. My boyfriend now is so in love with my hair, and much to my aggravation, loves to touch it. He says my hair is wild, crazy, and beautiful just like I am.
Shampoo: Giovanni 50:50
Conditioners - CJ Strengthening, CJ Beauticurls Argan and Olive Oil, CJ Rehab, CJ Curl Fix
Leave-in: CJ Smoothing
Deep Conditioner: CJ Hibiscus and Banana Deep Fix
Stylers - Tigi Curls Rock Amplifier, AG:Recoil, KCCC, Mop-C Curling Cream, Paul Mitchell Sculpting foam
Carmen I was the exact same as you. My ex boyfriend hated my curls when he found out about them. He also didn't allow me to dye my hair back to my natural color.. and made me keep bleaching it. can you say controlling? He's been in rehab twice and jail once since we broke up, so i can't say i let go of something too special. what a winner.
my boyfriend now also loves my hair. he says it makes me different. Its really awesome to have that happy ending feeling. I wouldn't wear my hair in the style someone else wanted me to ever again. i'm way too confident and independent for that stuff now
Last edited by Ryfrie21; 08-20-2008 at 02:24 PM.
Reason: typos :)
I am biracial and when I was four my father married a black woman with naturally 4b hair but used relaxers to tame it. She was only nineteen when they married so she didnt understand how to care for my 3b/c curly hair. I was given blowouts which just made my hair extremely thick, flatirons, greese and hotcombs were my sunday night routine before school.
Eventually, my long hair started breaking off and the poofy hair was okay for long hair but my mom felt i need a relaxer if my hair was going to be straight.
I used to be so envious of the other mixed girls who got to wear their curls. I remember in ninth grade a boy who accidently burned my hair told me, " that sucks that you are mixed but you dont even get the benefits of having mixed hair"
That wasnt as bad as in middle school when my hair never stayed in place like it was supposed to. I was always teased about how my hair never grew or why it was always frizzy when i got to school.
Even after my big chop months ago, people were askin me why dont you get a relaxer?
i was like are you serious?! After i just spent months transitioning, got mad one day and just said okay cut all my relaxed hair off?!
It's funny this whole thing with straight hair. Although I've had a few hurtful words thrown in my direction, the first thing that comes to mind now is what one of my friends said about someone else's curls.
We were sitting in a coffee shop and she says 'Woah!' so I turn around and there's a woman walking towards the shop with crazy 3c blonde curls sprouting out of a headband. Granted, she wasn't dressed very nicely but my first reaction was Awesome hair!
But my friend says 'Ew that hair.'
Obviously I couldn't help but get defensive on the other woman's behalf.
Well, I tend to ignore other's opinions about me...but for the most part, I get compliments on my hair almost everyday. Folks around here are pretty envious, and I love to see a curly head of any ethnicity! I love our hair, we are so beautiful!
I have gotten comments on my hair though, from stylists who have mostly straight hair clients. "Eww, your hair is so thick" (in number of starnds per inch and in diameter...) "wow, a white chick with a fro" (which I don't mind at all...)
"Hey! Come look at this girls hair!" Then they start to feel and POOF it like I am a dog.
I now have a stylist who knows how to cut my hair, although not how to style it.
I think we should start mocking the straight-heads. How Vanilla. How boooooring!