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Old 08-21-2008, 07:22 PM   #281
 
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Default Ok, just yesterday

I was walking out of the YMCA and a woman and her son were walking in. The son was probably 4 or 5 years old. He said really loud "hey mom, she has clown hair". I wanted to cry!

When I was a kid, my hair was really bad (it was the 70's there were no good hair products). My mom used to tell people I didn't need a hat, I needed a bushel basket! I still remember that.
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Old 08-21-2008, 07:54 PM   #282
 
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Default And actually

My name "curlygurney" is the name I was called the entire time I was growing up. My last name was Gurney. I was also call Brillo Pad a lot. I didn't like that very much.

I have also been told my hair looks like cotton candy.

And one time as a kid I was at a slumber party. I woke up with the girl next to me touch my hair. When I asked her what she was doing she said my hair looked like a spider web and she wanted to touch it.
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Last edited by curlygurney; 08-21-2008 at 08:00 PM. Reason: added more
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Old 08-22-2008, 05:29 AM   #283
 
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Originally Posted by sillyellie View Post
I am biracial and when I was four my father married a black woman with naturally 4b hair but used relaxers to tame it. She was only nineteen when they married so she didnt understand how to care for my 3b/c curly hair. I was given blowouts which just made my hair extremely thick, flatirons, greese and hotcombs were my sunday night routine before school.

Eventually, my long hair started breaking off and the poofy hair was okay for long hair but my mom felt i need a relaxer if my hair was going to be straight.

I used to be so envious of the other mixed girls who got to wear their curls. I remember in ninth grade a boy who accidently burned my hair told me, " that sucks that you are mixed but you dont even get the benefits of having mixed hair"

That wasnt as bad as in middle school when my hair never stayed in place like it was supposed to. I was always teased about how my hair never grew or why it was always frizzy when i got to school.

Even after my big chop months ago, people were askin me why dont you get a relaxer?
i was like are you serious?! After i just spent months transitioning, got mad one day and just said okay cut all my relaxed hair off?!
I'm also mixed race, I didn't really get to enjoy my natural hair until i bc'd. My first relaxer was at 5, and before then my hair was ear lenght as soon as i rebeled against my mom brushing it at age 3.
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Old 08-22-2008, 11:16 AM   #284
 
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the teacher actually interrupted his class to ask, aloud, 'Is your hair permed?
Jeez, I had some rough experiences as a kid but nothing from an adult like that. Mostly other kids.

Although the fact that most of my aunts and the families' elder matriarchs always said "oh i wish i had hair like yours" whenever I'd visit wasn't much a sign of encouragement.

My hair was pretty normal until puberty, and that's also about the time that most social circles of guys start undergoing "wolf pack syndrome" or establishing an alpha male order, and the group of misfits that I had fallen in with decided that my new nickname would be "poodle" as a way of putting me at the bottom of that order.

I had already had the stigma of having glasses since second grade and this was really too much for me. Looking back on it now I think most people who weren't in my clique really cared, but of course I couldn't see that at the time, I thought the whole world, er, school (really in high school they're the same thing, aren't they?) hated my hair. So I pretty much became a loner for the rest of high school, and then I had some pretty severe social skill issues until my mid-20s.

I know, stupid, right? But when you're a kid with already severe self esteem issues, what else are you going to do?

Anyway, I don't want to join the pity party too much, I guess if anything what I want parents of curlies or curly teens to take away from my story is this: don't let anyone give you **** about your hair. If I had to do the whole thing over again, I would have flaunted it, instead of trying to hide behind futile straightening or buzz cuts.
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Old 08-22-2008, 12:55 PM   #285
 
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Im still a teenager, but a boy in my class said this about the frizz around my ears " it looks like you have four ears".
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Old 08-22-2008, 01:50 PM   #286
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Hrmm...

"When I look at your hair I just want to run a hot comb through it."
--random girl at school in 9th grade

"It's OK if you like girls and all, but you didn't have to cut all your hair off!"
--younger cousins (a lot of people in my family, including my own mother, thought I was turning into a lesbian for BCing my hair)

"I love your hair...can I touch it?! Please can I touch it? It looks so weird!"
--many random people

"When are you going to get a relaxer? When are you going to straighten it? You look like some ghetto hoodlum!"
--mother
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Old 08-22-2008, 04:11 PM   #287
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mattly View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zythifer View Post
the teacher actually interrupted his class to ask, aloud, 'Is your hair permed?
Jeez, I had some rough experiences as a kid but nothing from an adult like that. Mostly other kids.

Although the fact that most of my aunts and the families' elder matriarchs always said "oh i wish i had hair like yours" whenever I'd visit wasn't much a sign of encouragement.

My hair was pretty normal until puberty, and that's also about the time that most social circles of guys start undergoing "wolf pack syndrome" or establishing an alpha male order, and the group of misfits that I had fallen in with decided that my new nickname would be "poodle" as a way of putting me at the bottom of that order.

I had already had the stigma of having glasses since second grade and this was really too much for me. Looking back on it now I think most people who weren't in my clique really cared, but of course I couldn't see that at the time, I thought the whole world, er, school (really in high school they're the same thing, aren't they?) hated my hair. So I pretty much became a loner for the rest of high school, and then I had some pretty severe social skill issues until my mid-20s.

I know, stupid, right? But when you're a kid with already severe self esteem issues, what else are you going to do?

Anyway, I don't want to join the pity party too much, I guess if anything what I want parents of curlies or curly teens to take away from my story is this: don't let anyone give you **** about your hair. If I had to do the whole thing over again, I would have flaunted it, instead of trying to hide behind futile straightening or buzz cuts.
aaws Kids can be pretty cruel. I've had many many many horrible experiences with other kids at my schools. It was mainly in my high school in year 9. I'd get comments like "you've got an afro!"
"your hair looks like a mop" "Frizzy mcguire" (yep, one tried to be original). Ooh and then there was the competition to try and get things caught in my hair, e.g. bubble gum, stationary, paper...you name it, it went in there...

There was one girl who really had it in for me (the usual, blonde, STRIAGHT haired, stuck up, shallow nasty cow). She told me ON MY BIRTHDAY that I should straighten my hair. I paid to watch this presentation at school with this guy who came in to show us how to do theatre lighting and she sat behind me, laughing at me with her friends, sticking chewing gum in my hair( which my mum had to cut out) and comparing me to this frizzy hair, ugly witch puppet saying "that's you".

The last bit you wrote, i totally agree. Curly hair is something to be totally celebrated- it's all so frickin' awesome- and nobody should be picked on or have hurtfurl comments made about them just because some boring nasty s**t head thinks otherwise.

oooh, your hair should totally be flaunted btw! It looks like Rob Schneider's hair which is flamin' gorgeous! You lucky lucky individual!!!!

Peace out x
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Old 08-22-2008, 05:50 PM   #288
 
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Not so much hurtful... just lame.

The UPS guy came and said "Going for the wet look huh?"

and I wanted to say..
"No, it really IS wet. I'm air drying here..don't you know ANYTHING?!?"

but I just said, "yup" and let him go on with his ignorance....
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Old 08-22-2008, 06:31 PM   #289
 
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my friends mother didnt know me very well. we were walking home from school when his mother drove by and picked him up. when i met up with him later to told me that his mother asked him " who was that witch you were walking with?" just because my hair was huge and dark. hmmm.. silly silly. they used to call me shaggy in middle school. not cool.
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Old 08-22-2008, 07:58 PM   #290
 
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Unfortunately adults can be just a mean as kids. I work in a professional setting and I had my hair blown dry straight by my hairdresser after work. Of course, everyone paid me compliments. The next day, after washing I was curly again. A gentleman that works in another part of the building said, "Why did you mess with your hair when you had it looking so nice?"

I can still hear him sometimes when I look in the mirror. I think that bothered me worse then the things that were said when I was a child.
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Old 08-23-2008, 02:49 PM   #291
 
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I was called poodle, frizzy, all the generic comments but I think the worst was someone stuck a sticker on my back that said "I have nappy hair" I am a pale white girl so that does not apply nor would I ever say anyone else has nappy hair because I think it's mean. I also heard cracks about how much hairspray, etc I used. No one seemed to grasp that at the time it was the only way I knew to keep it under control. I tried to straighten for awhile but that was just too much work and if it rained or the wind blew too hard, forget it. I spent pretty much all my school years in a ponytail or bun. Sometimes I wish the people that made those comments could see my now but then I think their opinions probably haven't changed much, too small minded.
Woah woah woah. I find that really ignorant. When someone says you have nappy hair, why would you take that as mean? It may be untrue for you, but it is certainly not mean and derogatory. Nappy means tightly coiled, curled. I have nappy hair, and I am proud of it. it doesnt mean my hair is like the sahara desert or tangled. You and others should really look up definitions some times.
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Old 08-24-2008, 12:42 AM   #292
 
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OK, now, makes me almost happy my daughter is deaf & can't hear stupid remarks! She is biracial and just knows I love her hair. I have a different type of curl (always looks like it was just let out of large braids) and it always did exactaly what it wanted to do. I could gel it, blow dry it, set it on extremely large rollers, etc and 15 minutes later and a little humidity (Memphis!) and we were right back where we started. All I ask of my daughter's hair is healthy shine and an easy comb job. She is a little girl and I do not want her life to center around hair fights. PS unlike fine, straight hair girls, my daughter's hair stays where I put it!! An advantage of small tight curls!
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Old 08-27-2008, 08:57 AM   #293
 
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Someone once told me that they wished they had hair like mine b/c it stays in one place when the wind blows. LMAO! I'm not hurt by the comment just puzzled. As if she thought that curly chicks don't want movement to their hair, jeez louise.
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Old 08-29-2008, 08:18 AM   #294
 
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I got the birds nest comment alot too. And primary school was a nightmare. Because it was close to my mom's office I went to one of the worst schools on the island where I was the only chick with curly hair and no relaxer. Kids would fling gum into my hair, try to clip my hair with the kid-friendly scissors.

High school was bad too. I got all kinds of unsolicited advice. Even more offers to fix my hair when I got to school. I eventually blew up at one of the mean girls and told her she doesn't have my hair and doesn't know what it is to live with it and until she does she can keep her advice to herself. Of course I got the ultimate revenge - she has no hair now from over-processing.
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Old 08-29-2008, 10:55 AM   #295
 
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I didn't realize I had curly hair until the very end of high school. Before that, I'd brush through my hair, ending up with a broomstick-like ponytail of frizz, which people made comments about. That I don't mind so much because it did look pretty bad. My mother used to have people relax my hair sometimes when we got our hair done, or I'd dry at home and usually end up with waves.

Eventually I realized that my hair looked pretty good when it air-dried and I left it alone. Some people just don't have straight hair was what I realized.
I adamantly told my mother to stop requesting that they relax my hair in the front (my hair is really dry in front) when we got our hair done.


Fast-forward, and while I have gotten comments from people who love my hair and tell me it's awesome (I have a lot of hair), I'd say that there are only three to five people in my life who prefer the curls. Sometimes I straighten my hair for a change, and most people tell me how I look better and should go with the straight hair more often. It's hard to explain to people why it bothers me when they tell me it's an improvement.


Now to the real insults. The last place I worked at, when I would go in with my hair loose, a lot of people would do a frightened step-back gasp of shock at seeing me, saying how they were scared for a moment. Yeah, they were joking, but it annoyed the hell out of me.
They would constantly tell me that I should do something about my hair, and basically question my grooming, asking me why I didn't brush/comb/style my hair. It's incredibly offensive to me that people would suggest that my grooming was suspect because I have volume.

I would also get comments about how it's just a "Dominican hair" thing. Yes, I'm Dominican, but just because my hair is curly doesn't mean it's "nappy" (I understand that it shouldn't be derogatory, but that's basically how it was used), which is another word I heard.
Most of them were Mexican, and so they all pretty much had super-straight hair, and it's like they couldn't get the concept of curly hair, or volume. I didn't even bother telling them that brushing through curly hair is the kiss of death, because they'd just have said how they were right about how I didn't take care of my hair.

I went to Peru last summer for a wedding, and when we went to the salon, they kept commenting on the extreme curliness of my hair, looking panicked, and I just hated the way they couldn't let go of "your hair is sooo curly!". All they needed was the "eww" to finish their thoughts.

Sorry for all the ranting, but it feels so good to get that out. Between people's comments and then seeing commercials constantly showing women wiping out their curls (or frizz, as so many try to tell us) for straight hair, it gets really frustrating.
Hell, I'm at a point where I straighten my hair whenever I want to make a really good first impression, because I see how a lot of people perceive the curls.

Last edited by Saria; 08-29-2008 at 11:00 AM.
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Old 08-29-2008, 06:06 PM   #296
 
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your hair is really beautiful Sairis. And no, Mexicans have no idea what to do with curly hair. I'm Mexican with 3c/4a curls and I am constantly being told that I should straighten it. I once had a Mexican woman argue with me and tell me that I must not be Mexican because I had such curly hair. But I speak very good mexican spanish, so folks just usually leave me alone.
I grew up with many of the same comments that everybody else did. Brillo pad, sponge head and chia pet were many of the popular ones in elementary school. I do love it now though. People appreciate it because it it different and it is part of me. I find that usually the people that are the most insecure have the most difficulty with my hair.
Frankly, it's taken me this long to figure out that I am who I am and I am not at a point in my life where I am going to chemically straighten anymore. I don't know, maybe I just feel exotic.
I am also an educator in a large urban area and many of the people that I interact with are very liberal and love the hair. Be true to yourself chica, you're the one that has to look at yourself in the mirror everyday. Suerte!
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Old 08-29-2008, 06:59 PM   #297
 
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actually when i was younger and we were goin over sentences in skool,my teacher said " this often reminds me of her hair"[lookin at me]and the sentence was 'her hair is so messy it looks like a birds nest' everyone was laughin and stuff but my teacher was a jokester so no problem.but it kinda hurt
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Old 08-29-2008, 07:24 PM   #298
 
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I have been wearing my hair curly on this first week of school and I have got alot of responses like
"whoah...what happened to your hair?"(this was a girl with pin straight hair) (I never wore my hair curly last year) and I responded it's curly right now. then the girl went "oh....it looks funny." and then a girl with us that had relaxed hair said "and it needs to be straightened badly." and i just said "if I wanted to straighten my hair i would." and just ended the conversation. And then when i went home i started cracking up at the whole thing. I like my hair...and i wont let anyone change that.
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Old 08-30-2008, 08:51 AM   #299
 
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Default What should i do???

guys i have a 3b type of hair and i want to make it wavy... its kinda long now.. uhmmm it almost reached my waist.. do you have any idea of helping me out on this???..

oh by the way.. i have a story almost similar to your stories guys...

my hair is curly.. so i always tied it up when i was in highschool.. but as years go by i decided to let it down.. and that's when my classmates tease me..

i live in the philippines and 95% of the poeple here have straight hair.. and that's the trend.. say what??..

poeple here usually teases me as their sto. nio (if you dont know what it looks like try to google it..).. its a "god" carved in wood that has a curly hair...
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Old 08-31-2008, 11:32 PM   #300
 
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i think the worst ive ever felt about my hair was when i was only 12 and my teacher said to me infront of the WHOLE silent class "your drawing is as messy as your hair" and it was my first time drawing a sphere. i hated DT didnt take much notice but it hurt as it was just rude and embarrassingg. i wasnt bothered about the way my hair looked no one in my school had hair like mine so i wasnt really ashamed until he said that. after that i started to blow dry it and put it in a ponytail. by the time i left school i was soo in love with my long curly locks i rocked my hair like i was a movie star, he must have been jealouss ( he was going bald) :blob7::toothy7::blob7:
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