hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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[quote="MonnieKuh"]Now, I absolutely hate it when people tell me "you'd be so beautiful if you'd only straighten your hair!"

People SAY that to you?

Trying to think of a snappy comeback
i always say, "ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT FOR ME?" and then i let them know that i have to be up for either work or school at 6:15 a.m. and that they will have to straighten it every day since its so curly.

i actually had 1 person try. and she failed. needless to say, she didnt make another comment about straightening my hair ever again. and thats when i had a realxer!!! (ive got super curly hair)
Yeah - people wouldn't let me play hide and seek at one point, because i had curly hair, it was different you see. Heaven forbid - i might have spoilt the game.

One of my supposed "best" friends, once told me that my hair isn't curly it's frizzy. She was one of those, who had poker straight hair (flat and limp hehe) any slight bit of volume in her hair, she'd throw a fit because it was "frizzy". I tried to reassure her, "it's not frizzy, look at my hair" she replied with "but your hair is always frizzy, it s'posed to be".
Curly Girly x x
After reading all the posts on hurtful hair comments I had to contribute.

I actually didn't know I had wavy/curly hair until I was in college! This is due to my father's girlfriend (an unnamed hairdresser), who forced me to brush through my hair everyday with a huge paddle brush, which resulted in a hairdo not unsimilar to the ones you see on the garnier fructis or infusium commercials. She even had my hair spiral-permed when I was 9 to make it look neater, which only resulted in me having long dry, frizzy poodle curls. Like I said before, until I moved out of my house in college, I didn't know I had curly hair. So alas, all throughout junior high and highschool I would brush through my hair mulitple times a day, hoping it would 'calm down' and just look like everyone else's instead of like a d@mn hobo's. Ironically this made my hair even worse and resulted in choice comments like the following:

1) Unnamed brainless football jock (jr. high)- Signed in my yearbook so affectionately--- "Comb your hair some more b3tch!"
-Thanks buddy, I hope you have no hair on your head to comb when our 10 year renuion comes around!!!!
2) Two pancaked-on makeup artists at an expensive NYC salon where I was receiving an expensive makeover- "Why is your hair all curly? Oh my god the stylist forget to straighten out her hair! Call him up here now he has to fix it!"
-Sorry ladies. I wanted my hair to be natural, unlike your flat hair! Maybe that sounds apalling to you, but I think it is horrifying that you need to spend an hour a day doing your hair and then go to work and force everyone into a similar state of hair slavery.
PS- the ladies also reminded me that my eyebrows were "f6cked up!" Thanks Girls!
3) Finally my sweet boyfriend. He's the one who crowned me 'Medusa". It took 15 minutes to explain to him why this nickname was not a compliment, and he still doen't get it!
-thanks for the vent and all the advice on the board. I'm praying for a miracle with my next haircut. Has anyone on the board went to the Hair Cult salon in Hoboken, NJ
-Andrea
-somewhere btwn a 2B and 2C, embracing the wave
years ago alot of people were asking me if I wanted to straighten my hair. I was curious at one point and let a friend of my sister's blow dry it straight. It took hours, I thought it looked horrible. Two hours later, it barely looked like anything was done to it. Not a lot of people saw that particular hair style, so some continued to ask me if I ever wanted to straighten it. No one has said anything for a while now until I started at my current job and a coworker started saying that she wants to see my hair straight. I think she even gave up now. That same coworker looked at me like I'm nuts when I tried to explain to her why you should not brush curly hair when its dry. Another one actually wondered how I can style it in the morning if I dont brush it. (because you know, if you dont brush it in the morning its gross!!)

For years, I hated my curls, it just gets out of control and impossible to style. I'm just starting to like my hair, I'm learning how to deal with it, what to do and not to do. Next straight haired person who asks me to straighten my hair, will be asked to curl theirs
Has anyone on the board went to the Hair Cult salon in Hoboken, NJ
-Andrea
Originally Posted by Medusacurl
I havent been there, but if you do end up going, can you please post about it, or at least pm me if you like it or not. I'm looking for a good salon in NJ also Going to Ouidad next weekend (1st time), but its way to expensive to go there regularly, I dont even know how thats gona turn out
Andrea's post really cracks me up... very funny, yes I also sometimes wish people who tease me about my hair will lose it all prematurely hahahah....

My old housemate in college called me lionhead... that's really stuck with me

One of my guy friends who was standing behind me once said you need condition your hair majorly

Off and on my colleagues will comment that my hair is really really messy... they just don't understand... humph
I also had a friend with extremely fine hair that would always complain about frizz even if one strand was out of place. When I tried to reply, she's like your hair is always like that. It hurt me.

Until recently, my mom insisted I straighten my hair even though there were days when I wanted to show my curls and waves off. She was embarassed by my unruly hair (even though it's HER fault) and made me straighten it which made it frizz out even worse. Now that I have learned to use a gel and diffuser, it doesn't frizz out that much. Because I used to straighten my hair, nobody could complain about the curls. But they always complained about the frizz.
3A/2C combination of ringlets and waves
I've never had issue with my curls. My whole family is curly and, I have to say (modesty isn't my strong suit), I think I have the nicest curls of the group. People always used to tell me that they loved my curls, that I was so lucky, etc., etc. I asked hairdressers to straighten my hair after trims a couple of times just for fun, but I knew I'd be going back to being my curl-proud self the next day.

Then for whatever reason I got into straightening it. I suppose I was in a "phase." I wanted something different. Most people I knew complained about my straight hair and told me they liked it better curly. After about a year, I got sick of the hassle and started wearing it curly again. I love it and can't imagine going back to wearing it straight anytime soon.

Only one friend has given me any grief over it, and she makes me so angry that I just want to scream. She shows me infomercials for "miracle" products when she knows I'm not interested. She brings it up on occasion. I keep telling her how much I like my curls and how NOT interested in straightening I am. At first I tried to be polite - it takes a long time, it's damaging, etc., etc. Now I just snap at her. I don't like my hair straight! The worst thing she ever said was that straight hair "looks so nice if you're dressing up." Like curly hair is lazy and too casual, and makes someone look like a slob. That's the only time I've ever really felt angry at someone for their attitude towards curls... so I guess I've been very lucky to have curly support around.

The cutest thing ever was when my darling little brother told me he didn't like my hair straight because he felt like I was being unfaithful to our curly family. What a doll he is!
Sulfate and Silicone-free since 2005
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I am now completely out of the closet as the craziest of crazy cat ladies. I own it. I embrace it. I am one with the crazy.
I think we've all had bad experiences growing up with our curly hair. I really don't recall being teased. My mom used to keep my hair super-short when I was little.....I looked like a pixie. Then in junior high....I started letting my hair grow, but I didn't know how to take care of it.....I brushed it all the time, which made it frizzy and BIG. I have some really bad school pictures!!!
As I had said before in another post, I really didn't get a handle on my hair until I was about 20. I finally grew my hair long enough to where I love it. It took years of fighting and trying every product on the market and learning how to style it, but it finally looks they way I want it.
Now, one of my adult friends gave me the nickname "Poodledoo"....he calls me that all the time....so that's how I log in here.
Gah, I had so many!

Let's see...

1) In 7th grade, I attended a private art class. I was the only person in the class with curly hair, just so you know. A couple of hours before the class, I had gotten my hair cut. As I usually did, I asked the stylist to straighten it for me, since I thought (then) it looked best on me. One of the girls came up to me (you know, poker straight absolutely NO body) and said "OHMIGOSH, Sarah, you look soooo much prettier now that you straightened your hair, you should do that more often!" I remember wanting to slap her across the face, but I just said "Euh... thanks..." and walked away half wanting to cry.

2) It was actually a couple of days after the previous story, just so you know. I was going upstairs after a shower, and after using my hair products and stuff, my brother (8 at the time) walked up to me and said "Eww, sarah, I hate it when you make your hair curly again, you're not as pretty." I didn't even say anything at that, I just sort of walked away.

It made me feel good though, when I got millions of compliments on my newly cut curly hair, even from people I didn't know. :-D

Sarah

"And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance
But you are not alone in this"

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne. - Tina Fey
^^Sarah, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I hate those type of comments, and I wish people would think about what they say.

I always had some person making a hurtful suggestion. I remember coming to school one day with my hair straightened for the first time, for graduation portraits. One of the boys in my class said to me as I was walking by, "You know, you should do that to your hair more often. It looks much better that way!"

All I could think was: Gee, thanks! My own NATURAL hair isn't fit for me anymore?
"Women....who made 'em? God must have been a...genius. Their hair. They say that the hair is everything, you know? Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls, and just wanted to go to sleep forever? ~Bo Goldman
I just had to share this one. It is kind of funny in a way. This lady was at my job complimented me on my hair. 8 months ago, I transitioned from relaxed to curly. In any case, she later referred to me as the lady with the Jheri Curl. I couldn't believe it. I don't know whether to be hurt by this or not.
After I spent an hour brushing and blowdrying my hair straight:

Casual Friend: "Oh, it looks so much less MESSY that way, you should do it all the time!"

I know she wasn't trying to be hurtful, but its the comments like those that have encouraged me to hate my hair and fry it to death.
Former CG then modified CG, now too lazy :P Type 2B/3A (I think...) and still rather annoyed with my hair :P
Yeah- I had my share of teasing to. I got my hair cut really short the end of my 7th grade year. I hated it and wanted to grow it out. The next year I rode the bus with some kids who really hated me, they were constantly making fun of it, calling it a fro and other things. I've been called Annie, and curlylocks (one of my teachers did that). But I really do like my curls, I've had curly hair since I was 6 months old, so curls are what makes me... me.
CelticMoonDance
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Posts: n/a
This just happened to me this past weekend. We went over to our friends house and they noticed a difference in my hair. They thought I had a perm and I said no, I have decided to stop frighting my natural hair and am learning how to properly take care of it and it has helped a ton. One of the ladies was really interested and I gave her a curl ambassador card.

My other friend commented that I had JBF hair. I told her I didn't know what that meant and she explained bout CFM hair in the 80's. If you don't know what these letter stand for I really can't explain here but as it was explained to me most people know what it means. (J=Just B=Been, C=Come M=me) And, she thought she was complimenting me

Kimberly
This just happened to me this past weekend. We went over to our friends house and they noticed a difference in my hair. They thought I had a perm and I said no, I have decided to stop frighting my natural hair and am learning how to properly take care of it and it has helped a ton. One of the ladies was really interested and I gave her a curl ambassador card.

My other friend commented that I had JBF hair. I told her I didn't know what that meant and she explained bout CFM hair in the 80's. If you don't know what these letter stand for I really can't explain here but as it was explained to me most people know what it means. (J=Just B=Been, C=Come M=me) And, she thought she was complimenting me

Kimberly
Originally Posted by 1228kimberly
I have never heard anyone say JBF or CFM (I wonder if it is a NC or southern thing)!

That explains why many men LOVE curly hair.
We're all born mad. Some remain so.

CelticMoonDance
Guest
Posts: n/a
I have never heard anyone say JBF or CFM (I wonder if it is a NC or southern thing)! That explains why many men LOVE curly hair.
Maybe it is a NC or Southern thing because I had never heard of it either. She was born and raised in the south. I am a New England transplant

I have gotten quite a few compliments from men in the past week :P To hurtful comments from the curl lacking world

Kimberly
Most of the hurtful comments I get are when I straighten my hair. (I'm glad I'm not alone in this anymore!)
At some point, I don't mind the off-hand comment, but when I straighten my hair it seems like everyone has to say something about how I should straighten it more often.
By the way, most (if not all) of the hurtful comments I get, are from women/girls. If guys comment on my hair, it's usually a compliment. Even when I put my hair in high pigtails (to make my hair look like dog ears) guys will compliment me. Probably because they don't have the guts!
I'm a 2something/3something. Started modified CG routine on 6/6/05
Cut more than ten inches from my BSL hair on 8-10-05 and growing it long again
But we're STILL adjusting.
I never got picked till Junior High, I have no idea why but I decided to chop all my hair off to this really short boy cut, MAJOR Frizz!!! I swear it looked good on the model in the picture. I went to my first day of school and this guy I didnt even know from the class next to me just started calling me "Tumbleweed" the whole school year as if I wasnt insecure enough with a new hair cut and new school. Then I would go to the girls bathroom and the girls would just look at me puzzled while I was washing my hands and ask "Are you a boy?" Trying to hold back tears I would say no. Although thinking about it now I can understand why, did I mention I had these huge catipillars for eyebrows. Oh then when my hair had grown out to my shoulders this guy on my school bus commented "Are you wearing a wig?" Then proceded to tug on my hair. :x The summer before I got into high school I got some pointers from my older sister on how to care for my hair which made a substantual diffrence Oh and I plucked my brows LOL! Needless to say I didnt get picked on anymore and everyone actually wanted my hair.

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