hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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One time a small group of people (including me) were talking and the topic ended up being about men and what they like. When that was over, I was just minding my business and someone really dear to me said, "I can't wait until you perm your hair or fix it up with some weave! Then you'll be looking like a real woman, and you won't be so insecure, because you know men like that look, and he won't have to cheat on you if you keep yourself up, you know..."

I gave her the intense "Oh-no-you-didn't" stare, took a deep breath, got up and walked away, and never spoke to her ever again.. to this day.

She's lucky she didn't end up like this: !

That bxtch...
Reyna

"Don't look back and ask why, look forward and ask why not!?" - Unk.

Last edited by QueenOfKinks; 03-25-2010 at 11:59 AM. Reason: typos.
One time a small group of people (including me) were talking and the topic ended up being about men and what they like. When that was over, I was just minding my business and someone really dear to me said, "I can't wait until you perm your hair or fix it up with some weave! Then you'll be looking like a real woman, and you won't be so insecure, because you know men like that look, and he won't have to cheat on you if you keep yourself up, you know..."

I gave her the intense "Oh-no-you-didn't" stare, took a deep breath, got up and walked away, and never spoke to her ever again.. to this day.

She's lucky she didn't end up like this: !

That bxtch...
Originally Posted by QueenOfKinks
Whoever this person was, whether dear or not-so-dear, they deserved much more than a stare; more like a whole mouth-full. That's all I gotta say......
Some people have got a lotta balls to be saying some of these things I've read on here. **tisk tisk**
3b/c :: Fine :: Porous

I My Hair
I absolutely hate and I repeat hate being told that I have great hair for a black girl. What the hell does being black, or anything else for that matter, do with having great hair? Isn't all about finding the beauty in what you were blessed with and rocking it like no tomorrow? And just because I look "black" does not mean I am black. Granted, I am partially black. And it is easier to just to say that my ethnicity is black. But my heritage is everything but just being black. I am proud to be native american, irish, french, and of course black. Whew! :gets down from soap box:

Wow. I just so happened to come across this thread and I guess I felt more strongly that expected about this topic. Thank you for listening to my little rant and you may now continue on to your regularly scheduled curly entertainment.
Currently in couples therapy with my hair.(We know we should get along because we're attached forever, and sometimes we do, but there are those days when no matter what I say or do my hair does exactly the opposite.)
Texture: 3b/3c/4a
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Negative comment last night...

I've become a fan of several natural hair/curly hair Facebook pages this week. My cousin writes on my wall telling me those fan pages look stupid. She then sends me a message telling me:
Please, NEVER, EVER dye your hair OR style it like the retards on this group.
We're exchanging a few words now. I told her to "f*** off". I'm annoyed.
Hair type: Mostly 3C, medium porosity to high porosity depending on the day, dense, fluffy, dry, tangly!



Luckily I've never gotten too many purposefully hurtful comments. Mostly because I used to brush out my curls when I was younger and did get **** now and then for having "poofy" hair.
If anything a friend of mine always get offended for me and that's when people ask me if my hair is a weave. I used to get it fairly often, especially when my hair was long and she considered it insulting that strangers would accuse me of having fake hair.
I told her she doesn't understand the world of weaves these days. lol
One time a small group of people (including me) were talking and the topic ended up being about men and what they like. When that was over, I was just minding my business and someone really dear to me said, "I can't wait until you perm your hair or fix it up with some weave! Then you'll be looking like a real woman, and you won't be so insecure, because you know men like that look, and he won't have to cheat on you if you keep yourself up, you know..."

I gave her the intense "Oh-no-you-didn't" stare, took a deep breath, got up and walked away, and never spoke to her ever again.. to this day.

She's lucky she didn't end up like this: !

That bxtch...
Originally Posted by QueenOfKinks
He won't have to cheat on you if you keep yourself up?! WHAT is wrong with her?! That is SUCH a horrible thing to say, I'm so sorry That totally hits home for me cus my ex-bf cheated on me with a girl that had straight hair

Also...has anyone watched Millionaire Matchmaker? It's this Bravo tv show where this lady hooks up millionaires. She has these mixers where she invites eligible bachelorettes, and the first thing that always comes out of her mouth to a curly-haired girl is some version of, "Straighten your hair. Men like hair they can run their fingers through." Um, excuse me, but are you a man? Oh, you're not? THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW?! And how can she generalize like that about ALL men?!

That was a little rant-y, sorry!
3a/C/iii; mod-CG since 07/14/08
Shampoo: Whole Foods 365 Citrus Grapefruit shampoo (same results as Deva Low Poo but a tenth of the price!)
Condish: Deva One Condition
Styling: Deva AnGel, then SOTC with no Frizz creme
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Last edited by wowohwow; 03-31-2010 at 09:39 AM.
I have two sisters, one has pin-straight hair, one has tighter and coarse hair. I have curly-ish fine hair. When we were little my sisters and I were close. The curly haired one and I were together all the time. Whenever we left the apartment with our mom she always saw someone she knew (it was a city, but a close community). Every person always told her how beautiful our hair was and how pretty we were, and how we've grown. My curls were much loser and when I was bored i would brush my hair and play with it in my mirror (it didn't make it really frizzy). Our grandma used to tell my curly haired sister how she wanted her hair. My mom also gets mad if I straighten it. My striaght haired sister used to say she wanted curly hair. When I was in around 1-2nd grade she stopped saying that. I can mark the exact date I started getting angry at my hair, last day of third grade. I had long hair and I got it cut short. I remember thinking it was really cute and fun, sort of marilyn monroe looking. On the way back from the salon I just kept visualizing her jealousy and envy and praise. The haircut basically earned me the nickname "mogli", as in the boy from the jungle book. My family is white but I am on the tan side, combine that with being thin and gawky, I was dubbed mogli. She still calls me that even though my hair has been waist-length.

I went to this school where all the girls had straight/flat-ironed hair when i was in 4-6 grade. Oh, our mother has straight hair and our dad has curly-but men are no help. My hair wasn't to bad since I wore it up most of the time. My curly haired sister didn't as much as I did. Anyway, I was talking to another girl and I said that my older sister is lucky because she practically hasn't brushed her hair in years. She told me "yeah, you can really tell". I was talking about my straight haired sister who she had never seen. That really pissed me off ! People also used to tell her that she had an afro ! If I had a backbone and the school wasn't full of uptight, tight-lipped Jesus-freaks I would have beat some people up.

When I was on a school field trip I took a shower and washed my hair. I was rooming with my friend and she saw me brushing my hair. When I brush it, it's almost straight (except the ends). She then asked me "why don't you just leave it like that". Like I COULD!!! Anyway, I excused myself to go wash my face and turned on the faucet so I could cry a little...

So, that brings me to today. I am a high school student and have only recently started conditioning my hair. I do loo-poo, but I may eventually do full cg. I have worn my hair up in a bun or braid most of the time for years. When I do wear it down, It has been set in the shape of the bun or braid, so it looks very even. I am extremely self-conscious. I have used the excuse that I feel like looking nice will detract from my intelligence. I don't really take time to dress well or look good, but I want to change that. I am going to a salon trained in the curly girl method and I will show up to school with my hair down and natural.. I am terrified since I haven't done this in 3-4 years and that was before I moved.

Last edited by Lollipop; 03-30-2010 at 11:38 PM. Reason: typo
One time a small group of people (including me) were talking and the topic ended up being about men and what they like. When that was over, I was just minding my business and someone really dear to me said, "I can't wait until you perm your hair or fix it up with some weave! Then you'll be looking like a real woman, and you won't be so insecure, because you know men like that look, and he won't have to cheat on you if you keep yourself up, you know..."

I gave her the intense "Oh-no-you-didn't" stare, took a deep breath, got up and walked away, and never spoke to her ever again.. to this day.

She's lucky she didn't end up like this: !

That bxtch...
Originally Posted by QueenOfKinks
the nerves on that chick?!! pure ignorance sweety. you look phenomenal with that beautiful/natural hair
hair type: 4a VERY dense

hair goal
= WL Aug. 23, 2013

My hair LOVES oil

2. "Being natural must be the new crack cus im hooked!!"

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is
perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

www.fotki.com/dee-nature-619

One time a small group of people (including me) were talking and the topic ended up being about men and what they like. When that was over, I was just minding my business and someone really dear to me said, "I can't wait until you perm your hair or fix it up with some weave! Then you'll be looking like a real woman, and you won't be so insecure, because you know men like that look, and he won't have to cheat on you if you keep yourself up, you know..."

I gave her the intense "Oh-no-you-didn't" stare, took a deep breath, got up and walked away, and never spoke to her ever again.. to this day.

She's lucky she didn't end up like this: !

That bxtch...
Originally Posted by QueenOfKinks
the nerves on that chick?!! pure ignorance sweety. you look phenomenal with that beautiful/natural hair
Originally Posted by dee-nature
Oh, you jest. Of course it's more attractive to waste all your money on tearing up your scalp with sodium hydroxide, and then putting horse hair in your head because for some reason your hair won't grow as well anymore.

Real women ruin their hair.
One time a small group of people (including me) were talking and the topic ended up being about men and what they like. When that was over, I was just minding my business and someone really dear to me said, "I can't wait until you perm your hair or fix it up with some weave! Then you'll be looking like a real woman, and you won't be so insecure, because you know men like that look, and he won't have to cheat on you if you keep yourself up, you know..."

I gave her the intense "Oh-no-you-didn't" stare, took a deep breath, got up and walked away, and never spoke to her ever again.. to this day.

She's lucky she didn't end up like this: !

That bxtch...
Originally Posted by QueenOfKinks
He won't have to cheat on you if you keep yourself up?! WHAT is wrong with her?! That is SUCH a horrible thing to say, I'm so sorry That totally hits home for me cus my ex-bf cheated on me with a girl that had straight hair

Also...has anyone watched Millionaire Matchmaker? It's this Bravo tv show where this lady hooks up millionaires. She has these mixers where she invites eligible bachelorettes, and the first thing that always comes out of her mouth to a curly-haired girl is some version of, "Straighten your hair. Men like hair they can run their fingers through." Um, excuse me, but are you a man? Oh, you're not? THEN HOW DO YOU KNOW?! And how can she generalize like that about ALL men?!

That was a little rant-y, sorry!
Originally Posted by wowohwow
Oh no, it's okay. That's how I felt too. ...
Reyna

"Don't look back and ask why, look forward and ask why not!?" - Unk.
Well, first of all sorry if my english it's not perfect.
When I was in high school my teachers allways said that we should go presented properly, and they told me that I couldn't be with my hair loose, so all of the time my hair was comb back.
Another story It's that a friend of mine allways said me that I look like Krusty, the character from the simpsons, so those things really hurt my feelings.
One of my earliest memories is when I was staying over my Aunts house I must've been 5 at the time but we had just gone swimming and she was trying to brush my hair out and she kept saying what a mess it was and it's such a rats nest. It stinks that so many of us had to go through all this teasing..I also had an ex bf find out that my hair was curly after we got caught in the rain and it was air drying and he voiced his opinion. I've been with my current boyfriend for almost two years and I had never worn my hair naturally around him until last week. I was so nervous to show him the "real" me but he loves it and wants me to keep it this way.
Currently using
CoWash: Suave Naturals coconut
Leave In/Rinse:GN triple nutrition
Style:Herbal Essences Totally Twisted Mousse, thinking about trying gel...
a "friend" "nancy" needed help moving,so i volunteered. on the big day,it turned out she had nothing packed, so, as i was the only woman helper, i filled most of the boxes. and it was very hard and sweaty work on a beautiful summer day. when we arrived at the new house, some other women friends arrived to help. after awhile "nancy" became frantic and yelled to me"what box did you put the blowdryer in? if i dont find it, my hair will wind up looking like yours!!!" the other women had quite a laugh at that- i didn't find it very funny.-& i suddenly remembered i had somewhere else i needed to be!
For many years, my hair was long enough for me to sit on it, so all comments revolved around the length, and were usually positive. Now no one comments one way or the other. (maybe they're too busy staring at my... er... unique clothes?) But i did receive a strange form of misunderstanding towards my dolls.

Just to clarify, I am white...

my favorite doll was a black doll from american girl with thick, textured hair. One time, one of my (white) friends came over to play. She went to brush the doll's hair, and immediately began raking the brush through, pulling out scads of hair from the wig. I interrupted her, and showed her how to brush it from the ends. After a while, she asked, "how long have you had this doll?" and i said, "oh, maybe a few months." and she said, "That's all?!? Why is her hair like this already?!?" I was confused. I said, "That's the way her hair came." What followed was several awkard minutes of her staring blankly and me being confused at what the problem was. Eventually I said, "You do know that that's what black people's hair is like, right?" And she looked like this:

When I look back now, I don't know whether to laugh or cry at her ignorance. Did she just have no black friends? I sure did, and we lived in the same neighborhood! and even when my hair was straighter, i STILL brushed it gently from the ends, because it was so long. And how did she damage her barbie's straight plastic hair so that it looked like my doll's kinky fro??
oh yes. the most recent negative comment was that my hair is "gay".
:/
oh yes. the most recent negative comment was that my hair is "gay".
:/
Originally Posted by tasnimroxmysox
This is offensive on many different levels....wait! I just had an epiphany: did the person mean it was gay because it wasn't straight? (sorry I'm slow lol). Either way, calling someone gay is not an insult and your hair is not something that should be insulted
That person's an idiot.
ive been called a boy...oh and the typical kunta kintasia smh
Hair type: Some random curly fuzzy stringy stuff God planted on my head
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Not jus' a round faced girl, but a NATURAL round faced girl

I got the "your hair looks like pubic hair" too, by a guy with curly hair no less Later that day I walked up behind him and open fist slapped his back (this was not recent, I was like 14 lol). He had a hand print shaped welt for a few days, I think we are even now lol.
Jessica, proud mama to Hunter (9-18-09)
3a/F/ii, high porosity

Products
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Conditioner: AOGPB, Garnier Sleek and Shine
Leave in: Suave Naturals Tropical coconut
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Off-day spritz: Lavender mist
Hair likes Obscene amounts of protein
Hair dislikes
Too much oil

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CG since 5/8/10
There are so many ignorant people in this world that should keep their comments to themselves. My hair is a 4a, 4b and my daughter's hair is a 3a, 3b and a cashier had the nerve to say my daughter's hair look better than mine. It was embarrassing but I had to ignore her and asked her in a angry tone was my food ready. She looked like she knew she said the wrong thing to me, but I was not going to act stupid with her. I love my hair and no one is going to make me feel like I have the worst hair in the world.
I've been called "helmet head" after a bad cut.

And I always get the comments "My, you have big hair today." And it was post-80's. Heck in the 80's everyone wanted my hair. They used so many products to make it bigger and I didn't have to do a thing.

Now I embrace the big hair. It's me and I love it. (hence my user name here).
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Cowash & Leave in: Co-wash with TJs Tea-Tree Tingle cond. , Suave Naturals, TJ Nourish
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