hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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Old thread, I know, but I can't help but reply. I was always called "Fro Master" in junior high, and the kids thought it was hilarious that stuff thrown at me would stick in my hair. I used to walk around with spitballs in my hair until one of my friends would notice and take it out. So yeah, I know all about hair humiliation.

Since I've gotten older, I've mostly come to terms with my hair. However, it's still rough sometimes, when someone makes a thoughtless comment. A friend touched my hair for the first time and then asked if it was a wig because it didn't feel like "normal" hair. Lovely. And my boyfriend has commented before on the stickiness that product gives it, and "jokingly" told me I should straighten it. I tell him I'll straighten it when he re-grows his bald spot...
I was called poodle, frizzy, all the generic comments but I think the worst was someone stuck a sticker on my back that said "I have nappy hair" I am a pale white girl so that does not apply nor would I ever say anyone else has nappy hair because I think it's mean.
Originally Posted by Rednaturalcurls


How, in a forum on hurtful comments, could you assert that the term "nappy" doesn't apply to you? Should it only be used to ridicule people with dark skin instead? Your insistence that it doesn't apply to you suggests it should be applied to someone else? Me?
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One girl told me a lot of people make fun of me because of my hair. I was in 6th grade (now going into 8th) and she told me one of her friends said my hair looked like the Bride of Frankenstein. She also told me a girl said I need a new hairstyle because I looked like a nerd. I was furious!! > However, I starting thinking....The people who have said hurtful things about me didn't have great hair, they made bad grades, and they weren't attractive (no offense to them).
I was always made fun of through school because my hair was just huge and curly and my mother could never do anything with it at all..fortunately, my mom didn't make me feel worse then the kids at school did..she always had slightly wavy hair and it was always big (80s) so she didn't make me feel too bad..all the torment I had to endure has made me hair crazy nowadays..I always try to find ways to make my hair bigger and more gorgeous and thankfully, I get alot of compliments on it now..eff it, as long as I love my hair, who cares
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My manager has the nerve to ask me "what happened to your hair?!" everytime he sees me.

Last week he asked me, I was rocking a braided wash n go frohawk...dude had the NERVE to ask me if it was done.

I said...what do you mean by "what happened to my hair?...and YES it's done!"...he had nothing else to say.

But I have to keep in mind that I'm blessed to even have a job right now bc I've been informed that he never wanted to hire black ppl in the first place.

AND he's Hispanic!!!

I'll never understand what it is about the hair that grows out of the head of a Black person that offends ppl.

It's THAT powerful, huh?? Well...I like my hair big. Always have...in fact it FITS me.

I didn't realize white ppl had so many good/bad hair issues either! Although I used to work with a white girl that relaxed her hair.

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In elementary my mom wet set my hair with nothing to set it but water (worked on her hair, mine? not so much). My class walked by another class in the hall and everyone pointed and laughed. It was um, very big.

In junior high a white girl told me my hair looked like her pubic hair in front of the entire class (chuckles now, then? not so much).

I'm over it.
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In elementary my mom wet set my hair with nothing to set it but water (worked on her hair, mine? not so much). My class walked by another class in the hall and everyone pointed and laughed. It was um, very big.

In junior high a white girl told me my hair looked like her pubic hair in front of the entire class (chuckles now, then? not so much).

I'm over it.
Originally Posted by curlsr2fun
The day my mom wet set my hair, at the end of the day I ran out of school to the end of the block and kind of hid below a short wall to wait for my brother and sister to walk home. To this day my brother laughs about it because as he was walking up I was bent down hiding and all he could see was my giant hair over the top of the wall. It was terrible.
i remember i had very short curly bangs in elementary. they were stringy and looking back im surprised that i never saw anything wrong with them i remember i was eating breakfast with some kids in my class and my younger sister's class at school, and one of my sister's best friends (who also was related to "special people" which gave her special privlages, and she knew it) looked at me and said, "oh, did you do your own hair today? whatever its ok i guess. but your bangs are funny! i think im going to call you curly fries from now on" i never had my bangs cut after that. by 8th grade (im now going into my freshmen year) my bangs were completely grown out to match the length of the rest of my hair. then this last year, i finally found out how to use and apply products! but when i tried a new mousse, i remember Girl #1 (who had straight hair) came up to me and said "wow. it looks crunchy and greasy" but when i told my best friends (none of us liked that girl, or the rest of the class for that matter LOL) they consoled me and told me that my hair looked lovely that day then i think around the end of the year, i started parting my hair to the far side (farther than normal i think). in our french class, Girl #1 and her only other friend, (who behind her back said she didnt like *Girl #1*, and nobody in the class liked her either), announced so that everyone in the class could hear, "well, SOMEBODY'S got like a combover over there" i talked with my friends about it later, and one of them were going to say something, but the opportunity passed by when the teacher shushed us all up. but after prom at our school Girl #1 came back with a friggin PERM. she announced to the class that her grandma gave it to her. not to mention that after P.E. Girl #1 would always tell me "i need some of that curl stuff that you use for my hair!" and one time while i left my locker to put on makeup, she invited herself and another girl to my hair products, then walked off. later on my friends and i decided that her "perm" really wasnt that great. to put it in short, "ive seen cats cough up better"
My mom always gave us 'boy' short cuts because the curly tangles were too much to deal with...

The worst comment I have ever heard was 'your hair looks like a rats nest, why don't you brush it out' and that comment was made by a manager when I was very early in my career... Later on someone at work said I looked like Einstein due to the crazy hair. Today I pretty much laugh at ignorant comments...
When I was in elementary my hair was really thick and frizzy i use to just tie it back in a pony. The other girls use to call my pony tail a big bush. But now I'm glad as my hair is thick and healthy looking wouldn't change it for the world.
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They tried to be hurtful to me in high school when some silly kids said my hair made me look like Frederick Douglass, but I greatly admire and respect Fredrick Douglass so whatevs. I know they "tried" but it really didn't work.
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I was wondering if anyone had people make rude comments about their curly hair that really stayed with them? We can commisserate together! SOrry if this has been done.

I'm 26 now but these comments have stuck with me and given me a really negative image of my hair:

1 Walking down the school bus aisle I overheard one guy say "you know whose hot (referring to me)," guy 2 says "Eww with that huge mass of hair," "guy 1 says "WHo cares just put a bag over her head she has huge..."


2 In JH 1 of my best friends was running her hands through my hair. I asked her to stop saying it messed up my curls and I was having a bad hair day. SHe said "You *ARE* a bad hair day" In HS this same girl said, after I came to school with a temp straight style "YOu should keep it that way...."

3 In JH this boy said my hair felt like "ruberized sheep wool." :x

4 In preshool this girl put mud in my hair. And made some crappy comment that escapes me now.

5 When I was 10 I went shopping w/my grandma who has fine silky hair. WHenever a sales lady waited on us srandma would say "Look what the wind does to our hair"--desperately trying to smooth down my locks. Resistance is futile grandma

6 In hs my boyfriend saw a childhood picture of me. He said "Oh my God yo had a FRO". THere's nothing wrong with fros, but It wasn't anywhere close to a fro. Ignorance, ignorance.

7 In 7th grade a stylist chopped off 3/4 of my long hair when I'd asked for a trim. When I walked in a classroom to deliver a letter, everyone simultaneuosly gasped--DAAAAAAMMMMMN her hair is so frizzy. DAAAAMMMMN.

8 In the locker room in JH the girls would always tell me to get a relaxer.....unsolicited advice.

ANyway, I feel better now. SOrry for the vent. ANy similar experiences?
Originally Posted by lotus

Look you need to forget these comments. You guys are older now, and as natural hair makes a (permanent) comeback, you're ahead of the curve.

I don't understand why people get insecure about natural hair or transitioning in general. Everyone's seen it. Those girls w/ glued down hair and a fake ponytail in the back. The receding hairlines, gharish weaves, obvious wigs, and of course, the old lady w/ barely any hair left. What you have is a natural head of healthy hair that GROWS and that you know how to deal with. It's the right shade, and if you still have a fro, it probably frames your features far better than some overpriced style du jour.

If anyone gives a transitioner or natural issues, it's just wide open for their own fried locks to be thrown right back at them. Some girls in college tried the whole let's do your hair thing, and I'm like "Yeah, OH-kay. It's been four years and your hair has remained at ONE LENGTH". :/ You should never take / remember / care about advice from people who clearly don't know what they're doing.
Like someone else here has said, my boyfriend will touch my hair or try to run his fingers in it and when I tell him he's messing up my curls he says "You cant mess up curly hair". What bugs me though...is that he is naturally curly too! ughh, he use to grow it out but 3 years ago he went buzzcut. When we first started dating I would ask him do you like my naturally curly hair, or when I flat iron it better. He would say straight -.- When I'd ask why, he said because he hated his curly hair so much because it was a lot of work and he was "tired of curls". Whatever. We've been together for almost 2 years and ever since I've gone CG (well Mod CG while I use up the last of my old products) he compliments my hair more and likes how much less of a hassle my curls are versus straight hair (always touching it up, spending money at the salon, spending hours infront of the mirror). Maybe he's getting use to it.

I tell him that people pay money to make their hair have curls. All I have to do is wash my hair and there ya go! Saving money left and right
I've been called "Wild Child" when my hair was down. I have 3c hair with 4a around the edges and it's big and long. I haven't had many rude comments. I live in an area where 95% of the black, female, population has weave/perm/braids. When I wear my hair down, people just stare at it like they've never seen anything like it before.

There are more people who aren't black with long curly hair, but straight/light waves are still considered "the norm" where I live.
Like someone else here has said, my boyfriend will touch my hair or try to run his fingers in it and when I tell him he's messing up my curls he says "You cant mess up curly hair". What bugs me though...is that he is naturally curly too! ughh, he use to grow it out but 3 years ago he went buzzcut. When we first started dating I would ask him do you like my naturally curly hair, or when I flat iron it better. He would say straight -.- When I'd ask why, he said because he hated his curly hair so much because it was a lot of work and he was "tired of curls". Whatever. We've been together for almost 2 years and ever since I've gone CG (well Mod CG while I use up the last of my old products) he compliments my hair more and likes how much less of a hassle my curls are versus straight hair (always touching it up, spending money at the salon, spending hours infront of the mirror). Maybe he's getting use to it.

I tell him that people pay money to make their hair have curls. All I have to do is wash my hair and there ya go! Saving money left and right
Originally Posted by Stormy1958
Funny thing is, I'm having a problem kind-of like your boyfriend. I touch my hair/run my fingers through it ALL THE TIME, and this has been the hardest thing for me to get used to now that I'm going natural. Not being able to run my fingers through it and play with it drives me nuts.
I was aimlessly wandering through walmart today with one of my really good (guy) friends. He threw me a relaxer kit and told me I needed it. Thanks, man. *sigh*


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Once at my cousin's birthday party, my uncle's wife said my hair was ugly. I ended up cursing her out because of that and because she called me anti-social. She was like trying to start things with me for no reason. Now she's afraid of me.
My friend:
"My cousin has about the same length as you do... but it's a lot shinier and straight" (= better)

One time when I played with my hair my classmate said:
"There's no point in doing that, it's just gonna go curly again"
Even though the last one I thought was pretty funny.
Probably the most hurtful thing i've had anyone say about my curly red hair (which i have always loved unconditionally. it went straight for a while before puberty hit, and it drove me to tears wanting my curls back) was that they "loved my hair soo much, ect, ect, the color is divine.....have you ever straightened it???" makes me want to cry....
Im dominican and my mother is a stylist and I hate walking into the salon because my mom's co workers keep telling me that I need.to brush my hair or when am I getting my hair done, for dominicans hair is only "done" if its straight I think its hurtful because I put a lot of time into making my locks look their best for them to tell me it looks undone or in need of a brush

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