hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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It seems like there's a lot of grandmothers here causing a lot of insecurity. Pretty much the second Madame C.J. Walker invented relaxers there was no "excuse" for curly kinky hair. I'm from the Caribbean and the stupid anglophilia is so unbearable from my family because those people are so far removed from being black and like to fantasize that they're Spanish just because they speak it. Out of her five grandchildren I'm the only grandchild my grandmother has with super curly hair. I wouldn't say it's kinky, but compared to my cousin's long, wavy blonde hair it's pretty wild. I adore it and can't stop staring at it all day long, but my grandmother despises it and tells everyone I'm the only grandchild with "bad hair". It drives me flipping insane.

The thing that gets me is that my white friends adore my hair and ooh and aah over it, but my grandmother who gave me this hair (and has even kinkier hair than mine) can't stand to even look at it.

I can't say it enough how much it infuriates how easily black people learn to hair themselves.
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT.
I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT.
I straightened my hair once last year for something different, but I really didn't think it looked that good and have decided not to do it much anymore, and ever since people will say offhand to me, "You looked really good with straight hair," or "You should straighten your hair again." Today someone even said to me "Straighten your hair." They don't understand why I get so offended.
But I take it very personally, and to me it implies that they don't think I look good with curly hair, which makes me mad. It's MY hair, this is how I CHOOSE to wear it, because it looks best ON ME. I feel like it was clear that my hair didn't look that good straightened; it wasn't convincing, it just looked fake and not like me. And yet, people are so conditioned by the media and by what the majority of people have that they all still believe that is beautiful. It's absurd. People don't use their eyes. Or their brains. I believe that I have curly hair for a reason, just like your eye color compliments your skin tone, my hair is supposed to flatter the shape of my face.
Does anyone feel the same way? I really just can't stand it!
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT.
I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT.
I straightened my hair once last year for something different, but I really didn't think it looked that good and have decided not to do it much anymore, and ever since people will say offhand to me, "You looked really good with straight hair," or "You should straighten your hair again." Today someone even said to me "Straighten your hair." They don't understand why I get so offended.
But I take it very personally, and to me it implies that they don't think I look good with curly hair, which makes me mad. It's MY hair, this is how I CHOOSE to wear it, because it looks best ON ME. I feel like it was clear that my hair didn't look that good straightened; it wasn't convincing, it just looked fake and not like me. And yet, people are so conditioned by the media and by what the majority of people have that they all still believe that is beautiful. It's absurd. People don't use their eyes. Or their brains. I believe that I have curly hair for a reason, just like your eye color compliments your skin tone, my hair is supposed to flatter the shape of my face.
Does anyone feel the same way? I really just can't stand it!
Originally Posted by Radicalgnome2
Luckily, I've never had people tell me my hair looks better straightened, in fact the opposite. When I relaxed my hair (big mistake) a few years ago, straight away people were saying 'oh no, what have you done, where have your curls gone?' I totally understand your frustration though. It is rude and uncalled for when people offend you in this way. The best thing to say the next time someone suggests you 'straighten your hair' is to respond 'well actually, your hair would look much better curly, like mine! Why don't you get the curling tongs out?' They might then think twice before they open their mouths next time.
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Last edited by proudcurlygirly; 09-08-2011 at 06:37 AM.
first day back at school (been growing out my pixie cut over the summer so now i have a curly bob) and already got called a poodle by one of my teachers in front of the whole class.... this will be quite a semester.
I got called poodle in grade school. My mother was always trying to "train the curl out" of my hair.

After a blowout, a peer in college said, "Oh! Thank God you cut that horrible perm out!"

but that was the late 70's through the early 90's and the quality of products has greatly improved!

It has only been recently that I started to really, really love my curls. One of my best gal pals loves to play with my hair (non-sexually).

What really cemented my choice to stay natural is that my 3.5 year-old daughter loves to touch my hair when I am tucking her in at night. She constantly tells me how beautiful my curls are and how she wishes she had been born with my hair instead of Daddy's.

I cannot possibly argue with that
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I got called poodle in grade school. My mother was always trying to "train the curl out" of my hair.

After a blowout, a peer in college said, "Oh! Thank God you cut that horrible perm out!"

but that was the late 70's through the early 90's and the quality of products has greatly improved!

It has only been recently that I started to really, really love my curls. One of my best gal pals loves to play with my hair (non-sexually).

What really cemented my choice to stay natural is that my 3.5 year-old daughter loves to touch my hair when I am tucking her in at night. She constantly tells me how beautiful my curls are and how she wishes she had been born with my hair instead of Daddy's.

I cannot possibly argue with that
Originally Posted by Iggywagy
Ahhh, that's so sweet. And children are so honest, they say what they see, so to know your daughter would love to have your curly hair must make you burst with pride.
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@iggywagy, how cute!
<3 Our love is like the wind; I can't see it. But I can feel it. <3
During my grammar school year I donned the nickname "Frizzy."
But those days are behind me now.

What really bothers me is when girls with naturally pin straight hair come up to me and are all like, "Ew, why don't you brush your hair?" Of course I bush my hair! (and mousse it, and hairspray it...) I probably do more work on my hair than you do!

Apparently some people think that running a brush through your hair is the magical cure for frizz. I wish!

As for me, I never straighten my hair (I'm though that phase!) I actually curl it sometimes to make it even more curly!

Last edited by Ariodante; 09-09-2011 at 07:21 PM.
so i was on the bus sitting with my two guy friends. we were talking about a dance that we were going to and there like straighten your hair you'd look so much better. im like oh...):
When I was a kid, my straight-haired younger sister called me "Hairy-It".

My neighbor, who was a hairdresser, called my hair a "rat's nest" when I was 12. 12 is the worst possible age to have your hair be called a rat's nest...I would wait so long between shampoos eventually my pillow was soaked in the mornings, from dirty hair. I'd sleep with encyclopedias and stuffed animals on my wet hair in efforts to straighten it.

Back then it was socially acceptable for anyone, even teachers, to joke about me "sticking my fingers in a socket" hardee har har...

The last time I had my hair cut professionally, 5 years ago (I've been cutting my own hair since), the stylist walked up to me and said, "Oooo, we have a lot of work to do here to clean this up!" After combing, brushing, cutting wet, and blow-drying, I left with a haircut that my husband called, "Art Garfunkel 1973". Not the look I was going for.
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After a blowout, a peer in college said, "Oh! Thank God you cut that horrible perm out!"
Originally Posted by Iggywagy
I had basically the exact same comment said to me. I blew out my hair and wore it that way to work for a week. Most of my co-workers were overly excited about my straight hair, telling me that it looked *so* much better than the curls. Our older male receptionist asked me "Is that your natural hair?" to which I replied, "No, my hair is naturally curly and I actually really miss my curls right now". He said, "Oh...I was going to say I didn't like your bad perm".

I was quite mad about that statement, how could someone be so rude, especially after I confirmed that my hair was naturally curly and that I really liked it.
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Grrrr. This thread is taking me down memory lane. I wish I had a dime for every time somebody, hairdressers included, made some dumb comment about my "bad perms."

I remember watching something on TV where a reporter made a comment about Representative Debbie Wasserman Schultz's "mad perm", (or something along those lines). Without gel or product, my hair is really similar to Wasserman's (not in color), and the rude comment brought back reminders of being insulted over my hair. I felt like throwing something at the tv.

I think that instance was a foreshadowing of my deciding to love my hair!
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CG since August 2011/Occasionally Modified since 2013
Favorites:KCKT/KCCC/CHS Curl Keeper/Camille Rose Curl Maker/
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Jane Carter Nourish & Shine butter/
Ouidad Double-Detangler Comb

Last edited by gardencurls; 10-18-2011 at 12:09 PM.
The best thing to say the next time someone suggests you 'straighten your hair' is to respond 'well actually, your hair would look much better curly, like mine! Why don't you get the curling tongs out?' They might then think twice before they open their mouths next time.
Originally Posted by proudcurlygirly
I LOVE this!!!
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"Oh, you were going to straighten it? I just like it curly so much better..."
When I was really little I was in a multi racial school in Philly so no one cared about the hair. A darker skinned girl called me polka dot all the time tho cause I was so pale. (
And stole my snacks. I wanna find that girl seriously.

I moved to an all white school in the burbs still natural and kids loved my hair. I mean, chase me down so they could touch it. (this happened at a sleepaway camp actually) it wasn't so bad. Comments made were out of curiosity and I could tell they mean them to be compliments. "ooo it's so Spongy!! Mine doesn't do anything."
Lolz

However I relaxed it eventually and it had to get cut cause years of damage from my mom combing and blow drying. There wasn't a THING for curlies for miles in that burb.

How ever in HS that grew out to a much longer bra length and drove me crazy on pool days. One time, I didn't want to blow dry so I went around school with it hanging letting it airdry as it grew in volume. Then the comment was "look it's Chewbaca!!"

Ok that one stung.
I guess I've been lucky. The worst I ever got was when my mum would style my hair into little afro puffs on either side of my head, and people would say that I looked like Mickey Mouse - from then on whenever I got to school I made sure the puffs were lower down, like at the nape of my neck - and I wasn't bothered anymore.

This, combined with the fact that I used to have my hair corn-rowed or in extensions a lot meant that I only started wearing my hair out when I was about 17, and because all my friends have straight hair they couldn't get enough of it

There is always one though, and one time I was wearing my hair out on the school bus, some little idiot thought it would be funny to stick some paper in it while he was walking past. I could have punched that little punk..
Originally Posted by CurlyBonce
OMG LOL u reminded me, I used to get mickey mouse too!!! But I loved Mickey mouse so much I didn't care and told mom to put those puffs higher!
Ok i recently got a hurtful comment made over here...it wasnt as bad as some of the ones you ladies that gotten but it was still a effed up thing to say.

Well last night I was hanging out with two friends and one of them started saying how me and my other friend had two types of black hair. And i asked her how so? And she proceeded to say:

Her: "Well your hair is super shiny like there's some PRODUCT in your hair, and OTHERGIRL'S hair is ....NATURAL"


..yeah i was like....what....yes i put product in my hair but so did that other girl...the only reason the other girls hair isnt shiny is cause she straightens the crap out of it whereas I actually embrace my natural texture.

Idk i guess it was more like a slap in the face concealed in a compliment...like oh YEAH your hair is so shiny BUT its fake.. idk it really ticked me off T.T
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I decided to do a big chop so I could fully be natural so one day when I was at work I was waiting on an older black man that was about 60. He preceded to basically tell me that I was ugly with short natural hair. His words were your face looks more appealing with hair. I replied I don't recall asking for your opinion, nor do I care what you think. My mother is natural and beautiful. If you don't have anything nice to say keep the ish to yourself. How rude and til this day he steers clear of me!

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I've experience this too. Even by my best friends. They just don't get it. Everyone is conditioned by the media to think only straight hair can be shiny and beautiful. It's a sad thing, and it makes it hard to be a curly sometimes. But that's how God made me, so they better get used to it!

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I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT.
I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT.
I straightened my hair once last year for something different, but I really didn't think it looked that good and have decided not to do it much anymore, and ever since people will say offhand to me, "You looked really good with straight hair," or "You should straighten your hair again." Today someone even said to me "Straighten your hair." They don't understand why I get so offended.
But I take it very personally, and to me it implies that they don't think I look good with curly hair, which makes me mad. It's MY hair, this is how I CHOOSE to wear it, because it looks best ON ME. I feel like it was clear that my hair didn't look that good straightened; it wasn't convincing, it just looked fake and not like me. And yet, people are so conditioned by the media and by what the majority of people have that they all still believe that is beautiful. It's absurd. People don't use their eyes. Or their brains. I believe that I have curly hair for a reason, just like your eye color compliments your skin tone, my hair is supposed to flatter the shape of my face.
Does anyone feel the same way? I really just can't stand it!
Originally Posted by Radicalgnome2
Exactly! I get compliments on my hair ONLY when it's stick straight. Having long, straight swaths of hair around my face just isn't a good look on me.
I blew out my hair and wore it that way to work for a week. Most of my co-workers were overly excited about my straight hair, telling me that it looked *so* much better than the curls. Our older male receptionist asked me "Is that your natural hair?" to which I replied, "No, my hair is naturally curly and I actually really miss my curls right now". He said, "Oh...I was going to say I didn't like your bad perm".

I was quite mad about that statement, how could someone be so rude, especially after I confirmed that my hair was naturally curly and that I really liked it.
Originally Posted by creativelicense
Redemption! I went to a party last weekend and met a fellow curly/wavy girl. She asked me if I had a perm and when I said no, her mouth dropped and she said "Wow! Your hair is gorgeous, I wish mine curled like that".

take that rude people who talk ish about "bad perms".
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