hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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I've always been told that I look better with straight hair. So, I always straightened and I did have beautiful, full, and bounce hair. I cut it in layers and blow dried with a large round brush. It didn't make it super straight. I had beautiful large waves and it flipped.

I moved to Texas to be with my boyfriend and this heat and humidity was killing me. So I flat ironed. This was the beginning of the end for my healthy shiny hair. Flash forward a year and a keratin blow out later and my hair is a fried mess. I decided that instead of fighting my hair, I would work with it and embarked on my CG journey.

My boyfriend has seen my struggle and the countless hours of research I've done to try and improve my hair. Its been about 2 1/2 months and now that the weather is improving (slightly) and the humidity is down a bit, he tells me "maybe now you can start straightening your hair again since its going to be cooler".

I know this isn't as bad as that you guys have encountered but for some reason, it really hurt my feelings.

Ok...pity party over!

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2c/3a

Texture: Medium-Fine
Porosity: Normal
Elasticity: Normal

Poo: Kinky-Curly Come Clean
Co-Wash:Suave Naturals Waterfall
RO: GVP Conditioning Balm, TreSemme Naturals Vibrantly Smooth
LI: KCKT
Stylers: KCCC, Frizz -Free Volumizing Foam

CG since July 2011
I recently had a longtime friend (10 years +) say something that wasn't hurtful but it was the most ridiculous thing that anyone has said to me since I've gone curly.

She out of the blue tells me "your hair just doesn't grow!". LMAO!!! I told her that's ridiculous and told her very quickly that everyone's hair grows and the fact that my hair is curly, the longer it gets, the shorter it will look unless I take the time to stretch my curls, which I do not (she has no clue as to what "shrinkage" really is). Nevermind that curly hair grows in a curly/coiled pattern as opposed to straight out to reveal immediate length. In any event, I then changed the subject completely.

The most ridiculous thing of all is for as long as I've known her, I've had long straight relaxed hair. So right in front of her eyes, since we do work together, over the past 3-4 years, that fool doesn't realize that after initially getting my hair cut to shoulder length, I then proceeded to CUT ALL OF MY SHOULDER LENGTH RELAXED HAIR OFF AND HAVE GROWN A BRAND NEW HEAD OF SHOULDER LENGTH CURLY HAIR, DUH!!!! I am a long-term transitioner so there was no BC for me, I maintained shoulder length hair the entire time, having my relaxed ends trimmed every couple months. The last of my relaxed ends were trimmed off in Jan/Feb of this year so I've been fully curly and haven't worn my hair straight ever since. Honestly, how stupid are people.........could she possibly think that I "did" something to my relaxed hair to make it curly as it is today?

I just thought it was the craziest thing for her to say of all people. In thinking back over this past summer, she has been trying to understand what exactly is the "deal" with my hair. She's asked me a number of legitimate questions and I've answered them, but based on the stupidity that rolled out of her mouth the other day, clearly she doesn't get it!! I love her to death so I feel compelled to school her so that she doesn't say such things to anyone else with curly hair as there are numerous curlies in NYC and she will definitely get her feelings hurt saying dumb isht like that to the wrong person. Just thought I'd share.

Last edited by NYCgirl; 10-14-2011 at 10:39 PM.
HI! today was one of the first days i wore my 3a super curly hair to school Not 2 seconds after i sit down my "friend" tells me that I "look like Michael Jackson with a jheri curl!!!!!! HAHAHHa" -.- gee thanks. then later at lunch another girl starts laughing hysterically with the first girl "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOUR RIGHT! SHE DOES LOOK LIKE MICAHEL JACKSON!!" what annoys me the most is tht they have no concept of how rude and just plain mean that is! I felt like crying. But ill love my curls no matter what But this girl really needs to stop (im about to get off track ) she has said some things close to the racist side and someone who isnt as nice will eventually come slap the taste out her mouth
nbbgirl18 - As a Mom with the wisdom of age (and curly hair), I'm telling you those girls are jealous. They're so intimidated by your beautiful hair they want to scare you away from wearing it that way.

Not that it has anything to do with you, but I thought Michael Jackson, may his sweet soul be at peace, was gorgeous in his Jhericurl days, hair included; and billions of others thought so too.

Keep wearing your hair the way you love it, with confidence, and those girls will be searching Ebay for Jhericurl. I'd bet money on it.
3b/c, Coarse, Low Porosity, Desert Climate
CG since August 2011/Occasionally Modified since 2013
Favorites:KCKT/KCCC/CHS Curl Keeper/Camille Rose Curl Maker/
ORS Curls Unleased Second ChanceRefresher/
It's a 10 Leave-in/BRHG/
Jane Carter Nourish & Shine butter/
Ouidad Double-Detangler Comb

Last edited by gardencurls; 10-18-2011 at 11:07 AM.
"If only you just brush your hair, it would look so much better"-Mom, every day of my life.
2c/3a Fiii

Shoulder length, BSL stretched out
Over 50% Gray
Bleached and Dyed
Modified CG: September 27, 2011
^Little do they know that it would only make it worse! You should brush it one day and make it SUPER poofy and be like "Hey mom look! I brushed my hair like you suggested!" And see what she says. haha
Auntie Bubbs likes this.
<3 Our love is like the wind; I can't see it. But I can feel it. <3
^Little do they know that it would only make it worse! You should brush it one day and make it SUPER poofy and be like "Hey mom look! I brushed my hair like you suggested!" And see what she says. haha
Originally Posted by KurlyPrincess
no kidding! When I was little, she would slick it down with a wet brush and pull it tight tight tight into pigtails or a ponytail. Then when I got too old to let her do that every day (about 3rd grade), she had it cut into a boy cut.

My hair went straight after puberty and just until recently, so I was convinced that her cutting it so short scared the curl right out of it! But now I think its hormonal. I think something about estrogen affects curl pattern. My theory, and my experience, but I'm still afraid to cut it short for fear the curl goes away again.
2c/3a Fiii

Shoulder length, BSL stretched out
Over 50% Gray
Bleached and Dyed
Modified CG: September 27, 2011
^Oh no... at least my mom never got to weird with my hair when I was little. But my hair was so my waist and super frizzy and poofy. I didn't know how to care for it obviously. I didn't really know that it was curly, but when I cut it to my shoulder I suddenly realized I had the curls I dreamed of. But they were much harder then i was expecting.

From your avatar it looks like your hair looks awesome! : )
<3 Our love is like the wind; I can't see it. But I can feel it. <3
My hair has a mind of its own, I swear. Some days its really curly, some days its kinda wavy. My hair is between type 2c and 3a. I've learned to love it but I just feel like shaving it all off sometimes.

In 6th grade, this guy was sitting behind me in an assembly and he just randomly ran his fingers through my hair. I didn't even look back at him, I was so embarressed because I could feel his fingers get caught on some small knots in my hair. I comb my hair after I wash it but it tangles when it dries.

One of my guy friends used to tease me all the time and ask me why I was trying to pull off some kind of afro even though I wasn't. He still teases me, why am I his friend?

I remember one time during summer vacation, I spent 3 hours straightening my hair (I have a lot of hair and the straightener I had then was useless.) I'm not a very patient person so that seemed like forever and a half for me. When I went out to ride my bike, some dude from school saw me and took out his phone to take a picture as he laughed. A couple years later, as I was getting on the bus, and that same person shouted "Hey, look who's having a bad hair day!" And everyone laughed. I told my mom, she said that's what I get for not brushing my hair.

I've had a few more incidents, but I think I wrote enough. Some people can be so rude.

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When I was younger believe it or not I was the only person in my grade with "curly" hair.. i actually have wavy hair, but to them it was curly.. I would get teased so much especially from all the silicone that I had no idea at that time was bad for my hair.. I would be called broom head, horse bum it was the worst so I would always bun it..

But I see the girls from my grade now and they use their straighteners to curl there hair so it looks wavy like mine but end up drying it out and damaging.. oh well.

I personally love curly hair!!! I will cry if my daughter ever straightens her beautiful ringlet hair!! I'm trying so hard to look after her locks, everyone compliments her hair..

People need to accept individuality these days, we can't all look the same!! And I prefer someone to stand from the crowd and be happy than follow the crowd and be trapped.. so I suggest we all accept our unique individuality .. even on a bad hair day!
Dedachan likes this.
"2 Something ATM"
Coarse, Medium- Thick, Normal Porosity

My Routine
Low 'Poo: curash soothing oatmeal conditioning shampoo
RO: tresemme naturals moisturising conditioner
LI: tresemme naturals/kinky curly knot today
Seal: mix of shea butter/coconut oil

Goals
waist length hair & finding a sexual cheapo leave in conditioner for both me and my daughter
When I was younger believe it or not I was the only person in my grade with "curly" hair.. i actually have wavy hair, but to them it was curly.. I would get teased so much especially from all the silicone that I had no idea at that time was bad for my hair.. I would be called broom head, horse bum it was the worst so I would always bun it..

But I see the girls from my grade now and they use their straighteners to curl there hair so it looks wavy like mine but end up drying it out and damaging.. oh well.

I personally love curly hair!!! I will cry if my daughter ever straightens her beautiful ringlet hair!! I'm trying so hard to look after her locks, everyone compliments her hair..

People need to accept individuality these days, we can't all look the same!! And I prefer someone to stand from the crowd and be happy than follow the crowd and be trapped.. so I suggest we all accept our unique individuality .. even on a bad hair day!
Originally Posted by fgamz


Beautifully said! I love looking at all the different curly heads on this site because they are just that, different and gorgeously individual. Sadly the same cannot be said for straight hair.
UK Curly
Curl type : Boticelli, 3a, loose curls
Porosity : High
Texture : Fine/medium (I think!)
Co-wash/rinse out/leave in : L'oreal Full Restore 5, GFR&S, Schwarzkopf Bio Pomegranite
Gels : Umberto Giannini Flirty Curls Scrunching Jelly
Finish product : Boots Naked Style Frizz Fighter Serum or a pea-sized blob of condish smoothed over canopy
CG since Feb 2011
I had a stylist who didn't know how to work with curly hair tell me I had awful hair. This was before I even knew I had curls in my hair. When I was sitting in his hair it was a big frizzy mess and he hated it. I thought I looked awful - until I found someone who actually understood how to bring curly hair life. It was still a hurtful thing to hear. I really wish I had found a curly hair salon when I was younger.



Beauty Blog :
www.MeghanDidIt.wordpress.com
Walking to my Med Pro classes, Hear three african-american women behind me say ooh, look girls, its michael jackson, nice jherri curl. These women had buzzcuts, its days like this that almost make me cut my hair. but i have a goal to reach so oh well.
No one really says anything and if they did its not like I'd give a shxt. It's my hair, its like this by choice. My aunt one time made a statement and asked what I use to make my hair curl...and I told her just water..and she was like yeah right, your black, and some other absurd nonsense. I was kinda mad then I just took it as she's a hater

Mrs Jones <3
KurlyPrincess likes this.
Sincerly yours,

Jalissa <3
2 Sundays ago, a guy at church told me that I had the hair of a gorilla.
Things I use: Olive Oil, Canola oil, rosemary oil, aloe vera gel, shea butter, mayonnaise, eggs, milk, bananas

Everything I use is 100% natural. I make most of them myself because then I'm sure what's in it and I'm sure nothing's added, it's pure, it's natural.

Things I avoid: Mineral oil (codename: Baby oil), heat (I'm a total, no hair driers, no straighteners, no curling irons, no flat irons, no hot combs...nada), sodium chloride

Growing plan: At least 6 inches longer in a year.
I'm just staring to wear my hair natural again so I haven't experienced much in the way of reactions to it. I straightened it for about 3 years and kept it in a super short bob for 4 years before that.

However, back when I was still in school I had extremely long hair and just kept it braided all the time. I'd take it out and wear it natural whenever I went to some fancy event. I do remember when I was in...junior high I think, I went to a school dance and danced with this guy I liked at the time (who was actually a pretty big jerk in retrospect) and later I overheard his friends making fun of him for dancing with me and asking if his hands got stuck in my ugly nappy hair. Kids can be so cruel.

Thankfully, I've experienced kinder responses in the adult world. My hairdresser is always telling me she loves my hair and that I shouldn't straighten it. I'm definitely still a little insecure about my natural waves though. I am trying to become more confident and embrace them!
I have wavy hair and that too only recently in my life. As a kid I had bone straight gorgeous shiny hair so I took little abuse in that regard. I'm really appalled and saddened to see how you curlies get treated For what it's worth, I'd give anything to have your lovely bouncy ringlets!

I will say that since I stopped blowdrying my hair stick straight, I get the distinct feeling people are not impressed...especially those that knew what my hair was like before. It puts me in a really uncomfortable position. I often get all kinds of "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!" questions. Or especially from my parents, "you used to have such pretty hair." My mom often criticizes my waves as being wormy and stringy--she doesn't like the clumps at all.

The most compliments I ever got at work were when my hair was straightened--just once. It seems like the curlier it gets, the fewer compliments I get--and it never even gets that curly. I have very loose 2a-b waves. Personally, I feel excited when it looks curlier. My hair did look gorgeous when blowdried straight--but doing that continuously was damaging and unhealthy, and my hair definitely suffered a good deal for it. People insist I don't need to do anything with it, but I don't agree. It just looks scraggly--like straight hair that hasn't been brushed properly.
I don't think people realize how hurtful they can be. And those that do, and chose to say the things they do anyway, are just mean and spiteful.

I had a curly (a CG girl so she said, anyway) stylist call the back of my head a buttcrack recently. It made me so mad, I still fume when I think of it. I don't go to her salon anymore, obviously. And I won't recommend her to people. So at least I got the last word there - she needs my business, more than I need her opinion. She's the idiot who insulted the customer sitting in her chair.
That's me with FSG as my styler!!

3b. fine & thick, coarse, dry, medium porosity. Sucks up product and loves ACVs! FSG is my HG!

Currently using:
Low Poo: TJ's Refresh No Poo: CoWash w/VO-5; Sonoma Soap Company sulfate-free poo
RO: Yes to Cuc; SSC Lavender Condish; Sally GVP LI: Donna Marie Miracle D&C
Style: FSG w/Aussie Instant Freeze & CIAB
My frnd always tells me my hair reminds him of p*bic hair n if I bun it he tell me pineapple head lol hez an idiot but I accept the rough jokes n hez not the best looking dude anyway , the other day my professor was staring at me n he was like what happened to ur hair ???? I said sir it's my natural hair he wad like oh...!!!??? In shock lol
And the most annoying thing is when ppl stare alot n talk about u ad if u can't lisn or notice it so dum
GroYoFro likes this.
I BC'd in late August and then went to school. When I came home for thanksgiving break ( no one was in the house and I was bored so) I cleaned the entire house. Took a little over 5 hours. When my mother came through the door, she saw my hair ...now a tiny twa ...and said "so, where's the stuff that makes your hair look GOOD". I couldn't believe it. Everyone else was being supportive, but my mother had to go and say that. When I told her that she was being insulting she said she wasn't and that I need to stop being sensitive.
&& then there's my ex ( whose hair is naturally straight) who told me that I should just loc it because at least it'd be in a style. We Broke up because of it.

Smh. I love my hair.
If you don't, that's your issue.




[[. I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in Gods hands, that I still possess.]]
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