hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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As a little girl I had long long long curly hair. Everybody would ask my mother if they were real curls, and of course they were. But the older I got, the more I wanted straight hair like the pretty women on TV and in magazines.

So since middle school I have been straightening my hair almost every day. I honestly believe I look better with straight hair, at least now. Back when my hair was healthy and long as a little girl, the curly look was amazing.

Now at school everyone is used to seeing my straight hair, and they think it's naturally straight. But in Florida, the humidity is horrendous and my straight hair puffs up and looks gross. So for a while I decided to wear my hair curly to school. Most of the reactions were "Oh my gosh, what happened?"
Nobody said it was ugly to my face, luckily. But you could just tell they were thinking it, because as soon as I came back to school with straight hair all I could hear from the boys was
"Oh good, your straight hair is back!"
Or "I really prefer your straight hair."
Girls actualy sometimes tell me they like my natural curly hair. I hate to sound so closed-minded but, I don't trust them. If my curly hair did look bad, of course they'd tell me it looked good. That way I'd never be a threat to them. I've had experiences with mean girls so I guess I'm biased. :/

But I suppose if I just close my eyes, cover my ears, and do what I want to do for a while, maybe I can revive those wonderful curls again and prove them all wrong. Curls are wild, beautiful, and unique and I want to put the gift that God gave me on display. I don't want to have fake hair anymore that I'm terrified to get wet. I want to be comfortable with who I am. I guess I just need the confidence to look past people's rude words and do my thing.

To all you other curlies struggling with confidence, just stay strong!
Sayayitshay likes this.
My frnd always tells me my hair reminds him of p*bic hair n if I bun it he tell me pineapple head lol hez an idiot but I accept the rough jokes n hez not the best looking dude anyway , the other day my professor was staring at me n he was like what happened to ur hair ???? I said sir it's my natural hair he wad like oh...!!!??? In shock lol
And the most annoying thing is when ppl stare alot n talk about u ad if u can't lisn or notice it so dum
Originally Posted by Sayoon

LOL!! my friend says the same thing about my hair. my response is," you must have some sexy pubic hair" LOL!!

people are genuinely interested in our hair, don't take it personally and it sounds like you aren't
Sayayitshay likes this.
"Life is too short to keep your hair short"

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My frnd always tells me my hair reminds him of p*bic hair n if I bun it he tell me pineapple head lol hez an idiot but I accept the rough jokes n hez not the best looking dude anyway , the other day my professor was staring at me n he was like what happened to ur hair ???? I said sir it's my natural hair he wad like oh...!!!??? In shock lol
And the most annoying thing is when ppl stare alot n talk about u ad if u can't lisn or notice it so dum
Originally Posted by Sayoon

LOL!! my friend says the same thing about my hair. my response is," you must have some sexy pubic hair" LOL!!

people are genuinely interested in our hair, don't take it personally and it sounds like you aren't
Originally Posted by GroYoFro
True so from now on I'll start trolling back
My hair was relatively smooth until puberty. Then all h*ll broke loose. Overnight (it seemed) I had a very large triangle of frizz... not hair... frizz. Of course this was during the seventies when everyone had long straight hair. We didn't have product options and the internet back then to help me figure out what to do but I came up with a solution that worked most of the time. I gooped a leave-in Avon product (One Step) in my hair when it was wet then braided it in two braids. I had to do this early in the evening so it would be dry by morning. My hair actually looked good! When we had swimming at school in PE I was doomed though. Braids were not acceptable and they never gave you ample time after swimming to do your hair anyway. I was always so jealous of girls who could just let their hair air dry or blow dry it and have it look good... unimaginable to me. Either option left me with huge frizzy hair. I'm still jealous of those girls.

I've mostly always had a bad relationship with my hair. This dream I had sums it up:
I'm going to look at some puppies to possibly buy one. When I get there, the puppies all have frizzy pubic like hair and it is clear that they are an inferior breed or have inferior genes. I try to leave but realize that I am trapped there.

This negative inner attitude is the result of the messages I received about my hair from people around me.

On a more positive note, it hasn't all been bad. During the 80's everyone wanted my hair. I got perms on big rods and the products were better. I had awesome 80's hair! Now I'm trying to find a happy medium.
I've heard that my hair looked liked Hagrid's before, in middle school. That was the one day I got the courage to wear my hair naturally, and I never did it again.

Let's see. I've been called a lion before, but I don't take that as an insult. I love lions, and I do have a mighty mane. Big hair yay.
Sayayitshay likes this.
I luckily landed myself in a most curly/wavy haired group (I'm in year 10..) but one of my best friends who has stick straight hair (she's asian) always called me and my 3b friend hagrid! I know shes just joking but it does hurt :/
She also likes to rub it in out noses that she doesnt have to do anything to her hair, but she also can only wear her hair in a pony tail for school! No braids, or even buns! (Our school doesn't let us wear out hair out.. )
3a curls with a few 3b framing
Normal elasticity
Organic Care sul. free hydration shampoo once a fortnight
Organic Care sul. free Con.
Hair still gets a little frizzy :/
No one can stop me showing off my curls!
I luckily landed myself in a most curly/wavy haired group (I'm in year 10..) but one of my best friends who has stick straight hair (she's asian) always called me and my 3b friend hagrid! I know shes just joking but it does hurt :/
She also likes to rub it in out noses that she doesnt have to do anything to her hair, but she also can only wear her hair in a pony tail for school! No braids, or even buns! (Our school doesn't let us wear out hair out.. )
Originally Posted by CurlyAussie
Let's see how she'll wear her hair for prom, or any other event.
Most ppl with straight hair wish for curls as they can't do anything new to their hair.
The most negative comments I ever get about my hair are from my mom.. I never get negative comments from anyone else. Everyone else constantly compliments my hair. But my mom always says rude comments to me and not just about my hair.. but just now she was saying how my hair looks ugly parted down the middle and you can clearly see my roots growing in when it's down the middle and that I need to part it down the side.. But it's like um, excuse me! I can wear my hair how I want! And I don't care if anyone else thinks it's ugly! But when I wear it down the middle people have said it looks cute that way too. But what is ridiculous is that I'm just sitting at home so it doesn't even matter if my hair is parted down the middle, it's not like anyone is even going to see me if it was such a problem! Ugh, that just irritated me so much.
2c/3a some 3b/Thick/Fine texture?/High Porosity
Currently trying out the CG method again as of 1/3/12!

Current Routine:
Co-wash/RO: Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle
Low poo: Giovanni Tea Tree Triple Treat (when needed)
Products: LA Looks Sports Gel and Curly Kinks Coil Jam




Last edited by britney.; 01-29-2012 at 08:54 PM.
Just today at work, actually...

Straight haired coworker: *sees me walking in with my wavy/curly hair* You look.... psychotic.

Me: ... Thanks. That was the look I was going for. *Smile while dying a little on the inside*

CG since 3/11/2012

Type 2C (Botticelli according to Curly Girl: The Handbook)
iii Density
Medium-Coarse Texture
Normal Porosity
Normal Elasticity
HATES: Traditional sulfates/cones.
LOVES: Lots of moisture and homemade FSG!
(Many thanks to
http://www.livecurlylivefree.com/ for helping me figure out my texture, porosity, and elasticity properties! Check them out sometime!)
Just today at work, actually...

Straight haired coworker: *sees me walking in with my wavy/curly hair* You look.... psychotic.

Me: ... Thanks. That was the look I was going for. *Smile while dying a little on the inside*
Originally Posted by whirlyhair
OMG!!! How friggin' rude. Next time you see her walking in you should ask her if she did something new to her hair? It's looking greasier than normal today.
Sayayitshay likes this.

DweamGoiL


2C / f / iii - medium to high porosity
(started modified CG on 01/23/2012)

Wash
Tresemme Naturals Radiant Volume (for CO Wash)
Kinky Curly Come Clean Shampoo (once per month)

Styling
Monoi oil (leave in)
La Coupe Orgnx Curling Mousse at roots for lift
DevaCurl Angel or Joico Curl Activator
Dove Extra Hold Hairspray with natural movement to finish

Refreshing
Homemade Sea Salt Spray as a curl activator for 2nd and 3rd day hair
Right after I BC'd, a co-worker asked me, "why did u do that to yourself?" My response, "Because I wanted to." Then I pointed to his shiny bald head and said, "why did u do that to yourself...oh wait you're bald!" Kinda b*tchy I know, but he deserved it.
No one really says anything and if they did its not like I'd give a shxt. It's my hair, its like this by choice. My aunt one time made a statement and asked what I use to make my hair curl...and I told her just water..and she was like yeah right, your black, and some other absurd nonsense. I was kinda mad then I just took it as she's a hater

Mrs Jones <3
Originally Posted by jaybabeex3
Soooo true! U get u either mixed or u used a texturizer. And I get if that is ur real hair it's nice
I still remember elementary school and middle school with frizzy, horrible brushed out curls that nobody knew how to take care of. As an adult, I know better than to allow anyone with a brush near my curls! All I ever heard was that my hair is damaged, unmanageable, big, and of course everyone wanted to either straighten it or cut it off. Even now when I wear my curls I'll get something about how awful my hair is. And all this from family members. I'm Latin, so curly hair is the worst possible thing that can happen to a girl's hair. I am so happy to have found NC. My hair isn't damaged, mistreated or ugly... it is just curly!
BTW, hi everyone. I am brand new
curlygerl likes this.
Hi Marci and welcome! Your hair looks gorgeous in your avatar pic. It's sad when other people don't appreciate or understand how beautiful textured hair is, but that is their problem, not yours. When I was growing up, my sister used to call me "Bucks Frizz" (Bucks Fizz were a UK pop band in the 1980s.) She has since apologised, and we laugh about it now as adults, but her comments really hurt at the time, plus she really likes my hair now. At least nc.com allows me to indulge my love (or obsession) of curly hair amongst like minded people!
UK Curly
Curl type : Boticelli, 3a, loose curls
Porosity : High
Texture : Fine/medium (I think!)
Co-wash/rinse out/leave in : L'oreal Full Restore 5, GFR&S, Schwarzkopf Bio Pomegranite
Gels : Umberto Giannini Flirty Curls Scrunching Jelly
Finish product : Boots Naked Style Frizz Fighter Serum or a pea-sized blob of condish smoothed over canopy
CG since Feb 2011
When I was a kid, people would call my hair "ugly" and "nasty".

One boy in high school would constantly ask me if I washed my hair, implying that my hair texture made me dirty.

A teacher in high school told me that my hair looked "strange".

The term "n*gger hair" has been applied to my hair more times than I care to remember. I am biracial and I experienced horrific racism growing up.

My ex would sometimes talk badly about my hair, calling it nappy, but he was black and had the same type of hair.

I've been told that my hair is "unprofessional" and "wild".

When I was in school, some girls thought it was cute to spit in my hair and to put things in it while they sat behind me in class.

My own family has said some pretty hurtful things about my hair. They have always treated my cousin better and considered her to be prettier because she has loose curls, unlike me.

My mother says I "need" a relaxer because my hair is too "unmanageable".

I could go on and on...
Thanks proudcurlygirly!! I think if it weren't for NC I might break down and start flat ironing my hair to death again. Just yesterday my boyfriend was going on about how he prefers it straight. Not going to happen! "Bucks Frizz" is probably just as bad as brillo pad, witch and bird's nest. I was called all of those growing up. Anyhow, I am looking forward to hearing from more curl lovers like us =)
When I was a kid, people would call my hair "ugly" and "nasty".

One boy in high school would constantly ask me if I washed my hair, implying that my hair texture made me dirty.

A teacher in high school told me that my hair looked "strange".

The term "n*gger hair" has been applied to my hair more times than I care to remember. I am biracial and I experienced horrific racism growing up.

My ex would sometimes talk badly about my hair, calling it nappy, but he was black and had the same type of hair.

I've been told that my hair is "unprofessional" and "wild".

When I was in school, some girls thought it was cute to spit in my hair and to put things in it while they sat behind me in class.

My own family has said some pretty hurtful things about my hair. They have always treated my cousin better and considered her to be prettier because she has loose curls, unlike me.

My mother says I "need" a relaxer because my hair is too "unmanageable".

I could go on and on...
Originally Posted by curlyhoneyb
This is just horrible. People are so nasty and hateful. Especially children. I'll be damned if I hear my child teasing anyone about anything. I was teased everyday in school. Not for my hair but because I was tall and very skinny. I'm still tall and skinny and still feel insecure about my body that's why I won't tolerate hate coming from anyone around me.
I'm sorry people were so nasty to you. I would love to go back and tell that teacher off. Maybe that's one of the reasons I have little patience for people. People can be really stupid. All of us are beautiful in our own different ways including you 😊
Awww, thanks, Nikki3b! That is very sweet of you. Yes, I've been through hell and I'm still trying to fix the damage to my self-esteem. I'm nearly 30 and I still have insecurities about my hair, body image, etc.

What's funny about it is that I live in a place that is considered to be diverse and tolerant of all races/cultures, but there is a lot of racism and prejudice here.

Since childhood, I have been made to feel ashamed of my hair texture. I struggle with feeling ugly and inferior on a daily basis because of the messages I've received. When a girl has been told that she is ugly all her life, she doubts her beauty and her worth.
Awww, thanks, Nikki3b! That is very sweet of you. Yes, I've been through hell and I'm still trying to fix the damage to my self-esteem. I'm nearly 30 and I still have insecurities about my hair, body image, etc.

What's funny about it is that I live in a place that is considered to be diverse and tolerant of all races/cultures, but there is a lot of racism and prejudice here.

Since childhood, I have been made to feel ashamed of my hair texture. I struggle with feeling ugly and inferior on a daily basis because of the messages I've received. When a girl has been told that she is ugly all her life, she doubts her beauty and her worth.
Originally Posted by curlyhoneyb
I agree. I'm just turned 30 and I'm kinda forcing myself to love me and be proud of the way God made me. Regardless of what others may say. What I don't understand is how to people think they can just say anything to people. I had one guy tell me I needed to gain weight that I was too skinny. I told him that I didn't and that I was fine that way I am. He apologized and said I was right. But I wanted to tell him to lose weight etc..
I'm really touchy when people get out of line with me. I suffered for years. I mean all through school. Elementary, middle, and high school. Even a little as an adult but I refuse to spend my life thinkin the worst of myself. Where do you live that is so racist? I won't be going there.
I straightened my hair today and of course everyone tells me how much better it looks.

Whatever, nerds. I like it better natural.
Hair type 2A, fine texture but very very dense (TONS of hair)!
Products: Suave Naturals coconut co-wash, L'Oreal EverCreme Moisturizing rinse-out
LA Looks Sports Gel (on the hunt for a better gel!)

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