hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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Awww, thanks, Nikki3b! That is very sweet of you. Yes, I've been through hell and I'm still trying to fix the damage to my self-esteem. I'm nearly 30 and I still have insecurities about my hair, body image, etc.

What's funny about it is that I live in a place that is considered to be diverse and tolerant of all races/cultures, but there is a lot of racism and prejudice here.

Since childhood, I have been made to feel ashamed of my hair texture. I struggle with feeling ugly and inferior on a daily basis because of the messages I've received. When a girl has been told that she is ugly all her life, she doubts her beauty and her worth.
Originally Posted by curlyhoneyb
I agree. I'm just turned 30 and I'm kinda forcing myself to love me and be proud of the way God made me. Regardless of what others may say. What I don't understand is how to people think they can just say anything to people. I had one guy tell me I needed to gain weight that I was too skinny. I told him that I didn't and that I was fine that way I am. He apologized and said I was right. But I wanted to tell him to lose weight etc..
I'm really touchy when people get out of line with me. I suffered for years. I mean all through school. Elementary, middle, and high school. Even a little as an adult but I refuse to spend my life thinkin the worst of myself. Where do you live that is so racist? I won't be going there.
Originally Posted by Nikki3b
A bit OT but you just turned 30?! Judging from your icon, when I saw your posts around the site I assumed you were my age (I'm 19)!
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Awww, thanks, Nikki3b! That is very sweet of you. Yes, I've been through hell and I'm still trying to fix the damage to my self-esteem. I'm nearly 30 and I still have insecurities about my hair, body image, etc.

What's funny about it is that I live in a place that is considered to be diverse and tolerant of all races/cultures, but there is a lot of racism and prejudice here.

Since childhood, I have been made to feel ashamed of my hair texture. I struggle with feeling ugly and inferior on a daily basis because of the messages I've received. When a girl has been told that she is ugly all her life, she doubts her beauty and her worth.
Originally Posted by curlyhoneyb
I agree. I'm just turned 30 and I'm kinda forcing myself to love me and be proud of the way God made me. Regardless of what others may say. What I don't understand is how to people think they can just say anything to people. I had one guy tell me I needed to gain weight that I was too skinny. I told him that I didn't and that I was fine that way I am. He apologized and said I was right. But I wanted to tell him to lose weight etc..
I'm really touchy when people get out of line with me. I suffered for years. I mean all through school. Elementary, middle, and high school. Even a little as an adult but I refuse to spend my life thinkin the worst of myself. Where do you live that is so racist? I won't be going there.
Originally Posted by Nikki3b
A bit OT but you just turned 30?! Judging from your icon, when I saw your posts around the site I assumed you were my age (I'm 19)!
Originally Posted by marieantoinette
Lol, I get that a lot. In person people think I'm like. People just dont take me seriously because I look young. I'm a nurse and people don't know how to act when they see that I'm about to stick a needle in their arm 😝
But hopefully that will land me a hot young husband lol
I live in the South...South Florida, to be specific.
I know that some people might disagree with me, but there is a lot of discrimination in Miami. It isn't always out in the open, but it's there.

It looks like a melting pot of races/cultures, but the racism manifests itself in different ways. I don't want to threadjack and move off topic, so I can't really elaborate on that at the moment. I just know that in my experience, the texture of my hair often causes people to respond negatively or to discriminate, although it has been relaxed since I was 11 years old.

That's why I'm switching to natural. By embracing my natural kinky curls, I'm giving the one-finger salute to everyone who says that tightly coiled hair is "ugly" or "bad".
I live in the South...South Florida, to be specific.
I know that some people might disagree with me, but there is a lot of discrimination in Miami. It isn't always out in the open, but it's there.

It looks like a melting pot of races/cultures, but the racism manifests itself in different ways. I don't want to threadjack and move off topic, so I can't really elaborate on that at the moment. I just know that in my experience, the texture of my hair often causes people to respond negatively or to discriminate, although it has been relaxed since I was 11 years old.

That's why I'm switching to natural. By embracing my natural kinky curls, I'm giving the one-finger salute to everyone who says that tightly coiled hair is "ugly" or "bad".
Originally Posted by curlyhoneyb
I've heard of Florida in general being racist. I mean it's the south ya know. But that won't stop me from going to disneyworld damn it lol. But these all just goes back to people being stupid in general. Why tease or hate someone because they're hair is different or if they're skin tone is a lil warmer. It's pointless. Rock your hair natural 😉
I live in the South...South Florida, to be specific.
I know that some people might disagree with me, but there is a lot of discrimination in Miami. It isn't always out in the open, but it's there.

It looks like a melting pot of races/cultures, but the racism manifests itself in different ways. I don't want to threadjack and move off topic, so I can't really elaborate on that at the moment. I just know that in my experience, the texture of my hair often causes people to respond negatively or to discriminate, although it has been relaxed since I was 11 years old.

That's why I'm switching to natural. By embracing my natural kinky curls, I'm giving the one-finger salute to everyone who says that tightly coiled hair is "ugly" or "bad".
Originally Posted by curlyhoneyb
I've heard of Florida in general being racist. I mean it's the south ya know. But that won't stop me from going to disneyworld damn it lol. But these all just goes back to people being stupid in general. Why tease or hate someone because they're hair is different or if they're skin tone is a lil warmer. It's pointless. Rock your hair natural 😉
Originally Posted by Nikki3b
ITA. I know it happens almost everywhere, but I notice it here because this is where I've lived all my life. Dominican salons make $$$ because everyone and their mama wants bone-straight hair. Plus, my skin is very light so the texture of my hair confuses folks. They don't understand the concept of diversity with black people and people of mixed race...we come in all colors and textures. I actually had somebody say, "You're white, so why do you have nappy hair?" I guess they didn't know it was possible that an "ethnic" person could be as fair-skinned as a white person, or that some Black people have naturally silky hair.

I feel for all of the ladies who have been subjected to ignorant comments about their hair, skin, and other features. You are all beautiful.
Reading most of these just makes me sad. I wish i had more curly haired friends growing up. It was a struggle for me.
I was always called orangutan by one of my best friends because my hair is naturally red\orange. She got her boy friend to start calling me that too, along with all his friends and that was that. I just tried to not let it bug me around them.
I have really spirally curls and in grade school- high school i was always getting paper airplanes launched at it. Its funny now. but not back then. I had a very hard time with my hair and still have trouble doing different things to it. But i know it is beautiful now and i can embrace it. it only took about 20 years :/ I just wish there was someone back then to show me what to do and not to do. Up until my sophomore year of highschool i wore it in a tight pony tail. Oh gosh i can't even look at a picture from then. It was just easier. I am from Florida to so humidity is not a friend of mine, nor bangs!!
Reading most of these just makes me sad. I wish i had more curly haired friends growing up. It was a struggle for me.
I was always called orangutan by one of my best friends because my hair is naturally red\orange. She got her boy friend to start calling me that too, along with all his friends and that was that. I just tried to not let it bug me around them.
I have really spirally curls and in grade school- high school i was always getting paper airplanes launched at it. Its funny now. but not back then. I had a very hard time with my hair and still have trouble doing different things to it. But i know it is beautiful now and i can embrace it. it only took about 20 years :/ I just wish there was someone back then to show me what to do and not to do. Up until my sophomore year of highschool i wore it in a tight pony tail. Oh gosh i can't even look at a picture from then. It was just easier. I am from Florida to so humidity is not a friend of mine, nor bangs!!
Originally Posted by Sayayitshay
orangutan?? that is so weird and it must have been hella annoying to hear it on a day to day basis, but it's such a dumb name that it's actually kind of funny... now that I'm thinking about it, that is the weirdest name I have ever heard a fellow curly be called...

people used to call me big perm LOL
"Life is too short to keep your hair short"

Click here to visit - GRO YO FRO!
At my old job, my proper, 65+ year-old boss would make comments about my curly hair. Mind you, she had perfectly straight gray hair. Back then, I used too much gel to maintain it and my hair seemed to always have that "wet" look. She used to tell me I needed to wash my hair on several occasions. She said it looked greasy. I wash my hair daily.

A coworker asked me, "Why don't you straighten your hair?". I responded with, "I do sometimes, but I really like my hair curly"

"Oh I see. Well, at least it's easier. Straightening your hair takes a lot of time, and wearing it curly doesn't"

At this point I wanted to lecture her about all the time it takes me to wear my hair curly. It infuriates me that other people perceive us as being lazy. Personally, I spend more time making my curls look good than I ever did straightening my hair. That logic is absolute garbage!
Reading most of these just makes me sad. I wish i had more curly haired friends growing up. It was a struggle for me.
I was always called orangutan by one of my best friends because my hair is naturally red\orange. She got her boy friend to start calling me that too, along with all his friends and that was that. I just tried to not let it bug me around them.
I have really spirally curls and in grade school- high school i was always getting paper airplanes launched at it. Its funny now. but not back then. I had a very hard time with my hair and still have trouble doing different things to it. But i know it is beautiful now and i can embrace it. it only took about 20 years :/ I just wish there was someone back then to show me what to do and not to do. Up until my sophomore year of highschool i wore it in a tight pony tail. Oh gosh i can't even look at a picture from then. It was just easier. I am from Florida to so humidity is not a friend of mine, nor bangs!!
Originally Posted by Sayayitshay
orangutan?? that is so weird and it must have been hella annoying to hear it on a day to day basis, but it's such a dumb name that it's actually kind of funny... now that I'm thinking about it, that is the weirdest name I have ever heard a fellow curly be called...

people used to call me big perm LOL
Originally Posted by GroYoFro
Dang I bet that was a little annoying! I've been called big fro.

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Omfg so i go to a kinda hippy school and this girl was like o my god u should dread yiur hair! Its half way there already! I was so pissed!!!! I have long brown tangle free curls btw
Wow. Ive had nasty comments about my hair only recently (during middle school). That was when I started straightening my hair. I love my hair curly, and I was pretty much experimenting when I straightened it. Heres some of the things I was told. (By my "best friend" nonetheless.)

1. "You have a big frizzy mop, I could clean the floor with your head."
That was her comment when I had great, shiny, beautiful hair days. Argh.

2. "You need to straighten your hair more. You look loads better."
Personally, I think I look okay with straight hair, but its not as great as my natural hair.

3. "Buy this product and that, its what I use to get my hair nice and frizz free."
Whatever. If drowned rat, is your style, Ill keep my frizz.

4. "My hair is so easy to handle and do things with, unlike yours."
What. The. Crap. She must not know much about curly hair and I pity her.

Its safe to say we arent "best" friends anymore.
Originally Posted by heartfuneral
She's. So totally jealous
It wasn't hurtful, but it was annoying. Today one of my straight haired coworkers was like, "Your hair is so beautiful... you know what I would do? I would wash you hair and straighten it so it can look JUST LIKE MINE!"

Wtf...

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Last week at the eye doctor's - from my doctor, no less...

"OH wow, when did you get a perm?"
Me - "this is my real hair, thanks"
Him - "oh. well, I like the poofy look. Me and my wife are from the 80's, when that look was in."

What??
Was that a compliment??
It wasn't even poofy. SMH.
fine, thin, normal/(low?) porosity. Mod-CG. Usually I can't co-wash more than 1x a week, & sometimes I have to use T-Gel in rotation due to scalp issues.

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It wasn't hurtful, but it was annoying. Today one of my straight haired coworkers was like, "Your hair is so beautiful... you know what I would do? I would wash you hair and straighten it so it can look JUST LIKE MINE!"

Wtf...
Originally Posted by whirlyhair
Ha! That's one of my favorites.

"Your hair is so pretty. So beautiful, but... straighten it, please."

Do they not want the competition?
Someone actually said my hair looked like a jew fro because it was "little curly and a little like an afro". That was very offensive, but I shrugged off and kept walking.
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I've had girls tell me I have African hair (I'm white)...which is just rude and they need to learn to respect that straight hair doesn't make someone pretty. I personally love when black girls have their natural hair because it looks so confident and curls rock!! My mom always tells me to "do something" with my hair because it always looks unruly and messy. She tells me to brush it out or straighten it.

Last edited by anabellalutz; 03-29-2012 at 12:19 PM.
I remember once when I was in 7th grade and that was when I first started wearing my hair natural, and my friend said "Can you brush your hair?? You look like a poodle!" It didn't hurt me, just irritated me. I told her, "You're not supposed to brush your curly hair dry, if I did, I'd look like you" Her hair was naturally curly and frizzy and she brushed it dry (You could tell).

Another time, I was at the same friend's house with our other friend, who has naturally straight hair. And the straight haired friend tried to brush my hair dry, and I said, "What are you doing???" And it hurt, because, well you're not supposed to do it. So the friend said, "See you never brush your hair, it wouldn't hurt if you brushed it regularly. The one part of my hair she brushed, looked awful compared to the rest of my hair. go figure. Back then, I constantly had people telling me to straighten my hair, even though they claimed I had nice curls.

Also during middle school all my "friends" and a lot of boys LOVED throwing things in my hair. I'd be having a conversation with someone and they'd start cracking up and next thing I know people are picking paper and junk out of my hair. Now that I'm in High school, nobody cares what kind of hair you have, as long as you take care of it. Although I do still occasionally get people trying to tell me what I should do with my hair, but I usually just tell them I don't want to. Lol.
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Last edited by TerriCurls; 03-29-2012 at 01:16 PM.
I remember once when I was in 7th grade and that was when I first started wearing my hair natural, and my friend said "Can you brush your hair?? You look like a poodle!" It didn't hurt me, just irritated me. I told her, "You're not supposed to brush your curly hair dry, if I did, I'd look like you" Her hair was naturally curly and frizzy and she brushed it dry (You could tell).

Another time, I was at the same friend's house with our other friend, who has naturally straight hair. And the straight haired friend tried to brush my hair dry, and I said, "What are you doing???" And it hurt, because, well you're not supposed to do it. So the friend said, "See you never brush your hair, it wouldn't hurt if you brushed it regularly. The one part of my hair she brushed, looked awful compared to the rest of my hair. go figure. Back then, I constantly had people telling me to straighten my hair, even though they claimed I had nice curls.

Also during middle school all my "friends" and a lot of boys LOVED throwing things in my hair. I'd be having a conversation with someone and they'd start cracking up and next thing I know people are picking paper and junk out of my hair. Now that I'm in High school, nobody cares what kind of hair you have, as long as you take care of it. Although I do still occasionally get people trying to tell me what I should do with my hair, but I usually just tell them I don't want to. Lol.
Originally Posted by TerriCurls
ha ha ha people used to put things in my hair too
"Life is too short to keep your hair short"

Click here to visit - GRO YO FRO!
This was before my BC, when I still had a texturizer in my hair. My curls were very damaged and puffy (but not in a pretty way.) There was no life to it. I just put it in a ponytail every day.

So I used to go to this horrible school around here. Most of the kids were rude and the entire school was just a nightmare.
One day I was walking in the hallways with my dried up ponytail and I walked past a group of boys. We were the only ones in the hallway because we were supposed to be at lunch. But the lunch was horrible so I skipped it.

As I was passing these losers that I didn't even know, they decided to call me ugly and one of them shouted out "Get a perm!" or whatever. And the funny thing was that his hair looked just like mine.

So when I came back home I cried. A few weeks later this happened again, but with another group of boys (I think. They all look the same with their saggy pants).

I hope I run into those boys again. I will beat them all up.

Last edited by dummeeule; 04-02-2012 at 06:05 PM.

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