hurtful comments people've made about your hair - Page 38

dee-nature · 12-19-2012, 03:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinkletoes0207

I know what you mean, people always tell me you must be mixed because my hair is extremely curly when I do wash n go's and I reply and say no both parents r African American but they just look at me like o_O another is when I don't do WnGs so my hair turns afro textured when dry and they're like....you must've had on a weave thee other day becuz it didn't look like that before -_-

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wow i got annoyed reading this i can only imagine how irritated you are GRRRRR!

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dee-nature · 12-19-2012, 03:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TigerLadyTX

I have not seen him since as he was murdered shortly after I met him...

"whoa girl, your head looks like a brillo pad - you need to work some baby oil thru that mess - and you need a long hot shower, too, because you stink!"

~Tiger

Smh what stupid fool. God rest his soul

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dee-nature · 12-19-2012, 03:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Theatre_Curls

My dads even said some mean things

Some of these aren't big des, but they've stuck with me.

Thats awful! I dont know how your hair looks texture,or length but it will do u more good than harm in the long run. Keep your head up doll

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CurlyB_ · 12-19-2012, 04:59 AM

My co-workers are very nice and always tell me how fluffy my hair looks and you can see that they're trying to make a compliment by saying that. I guess they don't know how to compliment curly voluminous hair with other words,but im ok with it since i know how it is meant.
What really takes the piss out of me, is when the director and managers of the company walk past me in the break room and start making jokes about how a poodle was allowed to enter the building, at one time the director even patched my head - and when i told him to please stop it because he's making it messy and i don't have the time to fix it again, he told me that he knows how to solve my problem. "It's pretty easy! Put your finger in the socket and you'll probably get better results than you have now" the sad thing is: he seriously thought that he was being funny!!!

I would have liked to tell him to better mind his own business instead of making rassistic statements -but since he's the one signing my paychecks i had to shut up and just walk away....

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AngelKate18 · 12-25-2012, 08:31 AM

Haha don't take it to heart! They're probably just jealous!

When I was in elementary school my friends told me my hair wasn't shiny or silky at all and that I should straighten it.

They also told me it was too thick and that I would look better bald.

In middle school, my two best friends told me my hair was the ugliest out of all of them.

But hey, I got compliments too. And in the end, the compliments added up to be more than the insults.

thegraceface · 01-12-2013, 12:35 PM

I got a lot of similar comments as you did, some of the more frequent ones were;

"Grace you'd look so pretty if you straighten your hair"

"Grace you look so much better with straight hair"

"Grace straighten your hair, you look so much prettier"

These comments were from when I was in middle school carrying all the way to highschool, usually by a group of girls who were of the popular crowd that I never hung out with and had absolutely no right to say ***** about my hair in any context whatsoever.

It also was common when I was getting toward the end of my perm, where my curly roots were beginning to show, then they'd pounce on me once again saying that I need to do this and this and I'll then "look better" because to them, looking good meant being an oompa loompa colored brat, with fake nails, pounds of makeup and pin straight, overly damaged hair with tacky blonde highlights.

Other comments came from a former "friend" of mine when I first went natural, then went back to relaxed due to the flack I got from her.

-First day of college, show up to her house with newly permed and pressed hair-

Her mother: "Wow! I like this style a lot better than your previous one, looks so much better, much more feminine."

Ex friend: "Yeah, to be honest Grace I wasn't feeling the fro, I mean, you probably wouldn't have gotten any dates with that hair anyway, nobody likes Afros."

Hence why she's now an EX friend, there's also been comments from random strangers, the majority of the random stranger comments were more prevalent in Minnesota than my current place of residence.

-Cashier at Wal-Mart working Black Friday, when a random man walks up to me, makes gesture with hands-

"Hey, where's the weave?"

-Sitting on a baseball bench with my ex boyfriend when two kids on bikes drive by.-

"Look at all that nappy ass hair."

And that's it so far, aside from all the stares I get from time to time, but that's normal, I have a massive head of hair, ranging from 3b-4a and it gets impossibly frizzy, so I stopped trying to tame it the second time I went natural, lol. Oh, well, people are dumb, I don't let it get to me anymore, I just smile because I'm confident in myself to be who I am and that REALLY pisses the natural hair haters off. =)

dee-nature · 01-12-2013, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thegraceface

I got a lot of similar comments as you did, some of the more frequent ones were;

"Grace you'd look so pretty if you straighten your hair"

"Grace you look so much better with straight hair"

"Grace straighten your hair, you look so much prettier"

These comments were from when I was in middle school carrying all the way to highschool, usually by a group of girls who were of the popular crowd that I never hung out with and had absolutely no right to say ***** about my hair in any context whatsoever.

It also was common when I was getting toward the end of my perm, where my curly roots were beginning to show, then they'd pounce on me once again saying that I need to do this and this and I'll then "look better" because to them, looking good meant being an oompa loompa colored brat, with fake nails, pounds of makeup and pin straight, overly damaged hair with tacky blonde highlights.

Other comments came from a former "friend" of mine when I first went natural, then went back to relaxed due to the flack I got from her.

-First day of college, show up to her house with newly permed and pressed hair-

Her mother: "Wow! I like this style a lot better than your previous one, looks so much better, much more feminine."

Ex friend: "Yeah, to be honest Grace I wasn't feeling the fro, I mean, you probably wouldn't have gotten any dates with that hair anyway, nobody likes Afros."

Hence why she's now an EX friend, there's also been comments from random strangers, the majority of the random stranger comments were more prevalent in Minnesota than my current place of residence.

-Cashier at Wal-Mart working Black Friday, when a random man walks up to me, makes gesture with hands-

"Hey, where's the weave?"

-Sitting on a baseball bench with my ex boyfriend when two kids on bikes drive by.-

"Look at all that nappy ass hair."

And that's it so far, aside from all the stares I get from time to time, but that's normal, I have a massive head of hair, ranging from 3b-4a and it gets impossibly frizzy, so I stopped trying to tame it the second time I went natural, lol. Oh, well, people are dumb, I don't let it get to me anymore, I just smile because I'm confident in myself to be who I am and that REALLY pisses the natural hair haters off. =)

thats F%$#!* up but you have a good spirit and attitude

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newseason · 01-12-2013, 04:44 PM

This stuff really burns me up. I cannot stand natural hair haters. My own relative (who I work with) has been making comments about my hair since I've gone natural. She has said that I looked like aunt jemima (I had twists in and my slouchy beanie over them). She has called me an old lady. It's like just because
she doesn't understand natural hair, she has to comment on what she thinks about it. She's relaxed and colors her hair. Sometimes I don't like it but I don't feel its my place to tell her that especially if she likes it. Its her head.

Julesonline · 01-12-2013, 08:30 PM

My parents, meaning well, would always say " would you please go brush that mess!?" I'd come back saying that you don't brush curly hair, unless you want a frizzy mess. Or my mom saying, "your hair looks so much better short....not so witch-like".

MadelynnKnisley · 01-14-2013, 10:06 AM

I've been lucky enough not to have had any extremely hurtful comments on my hair, but people will tell me all the time that they think I should straighten it. Every once and a while (like once or twice a semester), I'll straighten it just because I want a change and almost everyone will tell me that they think I should wear it that way all the time. However, there will always be a person or two who will say "Why did you straighten your hair?? It looks so much better curly!" and it makes me super happy

crazycurlyhair · 01-14-2013, 08:05 PM

My best friend (who is very critical about women's fashion) is always making comments about girls with curly hair. He says they go for the natural look and they shouldn't because they look like poodles. Sometimes he points out a specific girl and says he wants to straighten out her hair.

He says all this even though I often wear my hair in its natural curly state! It makes me feel self conscious about hanging out with him when my hair isn't straight, because I know what he's thinking.

His little sister is only eight and her mother started straightening her hair when she was five. Naturally, she has beautiful 4A type hair with great volume. Unfortunately she is going to grow up thinking her gorgeous hair is unattractive.

crazycurlyhair · 01-14-2013, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DepressedCurls

May not sound like much of an insult but it really erks me, because i get this at work several times a week and it's normally from bitter women and they always argue with me about it insisting i just tell the truth...they think my hair is a perm. They say "oh it looks like a fresh perm to me, i don't see how that's natural curling out of the root like that" blah blah. Really pisses me off.

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I know how you feel. When I started wearing my hair natural in middle school some of the girls kept pestering me, asking me how I got my hair like that. They refused to believe it was natural.

crazycurlyhair · 01-14-2013, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julesonline

My parents, meaning well, would always say " would you please go brush that mess!?" I'd come back saying that you don't brush curly hair, unless you want a frizzy mess. Or my mom saying, "your hair looks so much better short....not so witch-like".

I dated a guy who one day, seemingly fed up started telling me that I need to brush my hair. I told him what happens when I do, but he wouldn't listen. So one day I brushed it, took a picture of the ridiculous afro that resulted, sent it to him, and he finally let it go. It gets so huge, it's actually laughable.

dee-nature · 01-15-2013, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazycurlyhair

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julesonline

My parents, meaning well, would always say " would you please go brush that mess!?" I'd come back saying that you don't brush curly hair, unless you want a frizzy mess. Or my mom saying, "your hair looks so much better short....not so witch-like".

ridiculous afro that resulted, sent it to him, and he finally let it go. It gets so huge, it's actually laughable.

Crickets ........ I dont find this funny.

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annabananalise · 01-15-2013, 11:19 AM

I've had white frat bros make references to Roots in regards to my hair when I'm out in wrigleyville. but w/e.

Kilajo · 01-15-2013, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dee-nature

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazycurlyhair

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julesonline

My parents, meaning well, would always say " would you please go brush that mess!?" I'd come back saying that you don't brush curly hair, unless you want a frizzy mess. Or my mom saying, "your hair looks so much better short....not so witch-like".

ridiculous afro that resulted, sent it to him, and he finally let it go. It gets so huge, it's actually laughable.

Crickets ........ I dont find this funny.

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I don't either..

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Hootenanny · 01-15-2013, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazycurlyhair

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julesonline

My parents, meaning well, would always say " would you please go brush that mess!?" I'd come back saying that you don't brush curly hair, unless you want a frizzy mess. Or my mom saying, "your hair looks so much better short....not so witch-like".

I dated a guy who one day, seemingly fed up started telling me that I need to brush my hair. I told him what happens when I do, but he wouldn't listen. So one day I brushed it, took a picture of the ridiculous afro that resulted, sent it to him, and he finally let it go. It gets so huge, it's actually laughable.

Hi crazycurlyhair, I would like to explain why I (as well as others) don't find this funny, because the issue you raise here is, I believe, really important.

This website is dedicated to the support, health, and gorgeousness of naturallly curly hair, and an afro is one of the most natural ways to wear some kinds of curly hair. This is why many of us don't think an afro should ever be described using the adjectives "ridiculous" or "laughable."

At the same time, I think your post makes an important point. It is so prevalent in much of mainstream American culture to see afros as "extreme" that some of us who have them think of our own hair as being "weird." When I was growing up, for example, I thought that there was something wrong with my hair. It wasn't until my mid-twenties that I realized that my hair had its own kind of amazing beauty.

Anyway, my point here is to say that, if you choose to style your curls that way, then your Afro should be cherished, not laughed at. If your boyfriend doesn't understand that, then that is his loss. Your hair is amazing, however you choose to wear it. I, for one, would love to see pics of you rockin your gorgeous fro!!

sKorpio1190 · 01-15-2013, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hootenanny

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazycurlyhair

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julesonline

My parents, meaning well, would always say " would you please go brush that mess!?" I'd come back saying that you don't brush curly hair, unless you want a frizzy mess. Or my mom saying, "your hair looks so much better short....not so witch-like".

I dated a guy who one day, seemingly fed up started telling me that I need to brush my hair. I told him what happens when I do, but he wouldn't listen. So one day I brushed it, took a picture of the ridiculous afro that resulted, sent it to him, and he finally let it go. It gets so huge, it's actually laughable.

Hi crazycurlyhair, I would like to explain why I (as well as others) don't find this funny, because the issue you raise here is, I believe, really important.

This website is dedicated to the support, health, and gorgeousness of naturallly curly hair, and an afro is one of the most natural ways to wear some kinds of curly hair. This is why many of us don't think an afro should ever be described using the adjectives "ridiculous" or "laughable."

At the same time, I think your post makes an important point. It is so prevalent in much of mainstream American culture to see afros as "extreme" that some of us who have them think of our own hair as being "weird." When I was growing up, for example, I thought that there was something wrong with my hair. It wasn't until my mid-twenties that I realized that my hair had its own kind of amazing beauty.

Anyway, my point here is to say that, if you choose to style your curls that way, then your Afro should be cherished, not laughed at. If your boyfriend doesn't understand that, then that is his loss. Your hair is amazing, however you choose to wear it. I, for one, would love to see pics of you rockin your gorgeous fro!!

You are way too sensitive. She was saying it looks funny on HER. C'mon now. Lighten up

Hootenanny · 01-15-2013, 07:35 PM

Skorpio, please read the earlier posts from today, i.e. the posts by kilajo and dee-nature. You'll see why I thought it might be helpful to post what I did.

dee-nature · 01-15-2013, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hootenanny

Skorpio, please read the earlier posts from today, i.e. the posts by kilajo and dee-nature. You'll see why I thought it might be helpful to post what I did.

You hit it right on point, regardless of how she feels about afros people don't see anything ridiculous or laughable about it. Like you said this is a site that encourages naturally curly hair no matter how you chose to wear it. I am not fond of wash n gos b/c they do not compliment my hair texture but i would never make a mockery of it knowing that its some peoples go to style. i brush certain snag remarks off, i figure some people don't know better thats why i didn't bother to explain; MY AVATAR SAYS IT ALL. Thanks hootenanny for taking the time to break it down.

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