hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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I forgot to put the time I was hanging out with my friends and they were saying that red hair only looks good straight and not curly when I was standing right there with curly red hair. They told me that they meant died red hair but i still found it offensive.
Most people have actually been really nice about my hair since I started wearing it down but today I was talking to my friend and she said 'You're hair looks worse than yesterday!" and when I asked what she meant she said "It's curlier!"
Hair type:2c/3a
Low porosity,medium density,normal elasticity
Well, one time most of the popular people in my class came up to me and gathered round me. They asked me if I brushed my hair and why it looked like that all the time and why I didn't straighten it or something.
Yeah that wasn't a good day lol
In middle school... I was called "poofy" or "fritzy" by kids on the bus.

In elementary school I always wore my hair braided. One day I requested unbraided pigtails. I was told I looked like a dog and I never wore pigtails again.

In highschool I gelled my hair daily or did a tight bun with tons of hairspray to combat frizz. If someone touched my head they would say "oh my its so hard it feels like a helmet!" If I tried to put it in a ponytail curly I thought it looked cute but was told I needed to put it back down because the ponytial was lumpy.

When I would go to the bathroom I would run wet hands over my hair to reactivate the gel and smooth frizz... one girl said "look Ashley has her own personal towel" seriously?

The best ones were in middle school before i discovered gel.. "I bet your hair would look better if you brushed it more". So I carried a brush with me at school like all the other girls.... obviously it didn't help.

At career day in middle school all these girls were getting beautiful french braids. My mom used to French braid mine as a kid but my Aunt who got custody of me when I was 8 didn't know how. Nobody made fun of me when it used to be braided so I anxiously waited in line and when it got my turn the girls pulled my hair out of the ponytail and tried to comb it with that little black comb.... she finally said she didn't have time. ... I was so disappointed.


Oh yes and the first time I started using gel I was so excited about the spirals I had, my aunt told me it looked ridiculous and tried to get me to blow dry it and then put it in a twist at night so it would be "nice and wavy" my uncle told me I looked like a wet poodle. Such support!

But my grandma. ... who religiously perms her stick straight hair and has 4 curly haired daughters, loved it! And still does. Luckily one of my other aunts who embraces her curls, gave me some products like biosilk when I was around 16 and I began discovering the softer side of curls. Unfortunately I discovered a flat iron around that time too. ...

Last edited by Ashleynicol; 09-12-2013 at 12:50 AM.
I'll never forget when my hair turned curly. I had straight blonde hair until I hit puberty, then during the already most awkward time of anybody's life, it turned ash brown and curled up. My mom had stick-straight hair; I got my curls from my dad who just buzzed his off. She didn't know how to care for it and neither did I. I always hated my school pictures and although my family loved my hair my friends made fun of me. Now they are jealous though!
Another one I get that I forgot to add ... Sometimes when I would wear my hair curly to work (which was rare!!!!) I would be asked if I got no sleep because I looked exhausted and sick ... no, I just didn't straighten my hair ...
For me it's not so much the comments but the stares I get.
"Do you even brush your hair?", "It seriously looks better when you straighten it", and "I don't understand how it's just so frizzy" (said on one of my good hair days) are probably my most disliked comments I've had about my hair.
With the brushing one, I assume it's because all the other curlies in my grade brush theirs out so it's poofy, but I don't really know. My response is usually "I finger detangle, but no, I don't brush it out."
I also notice that when I straighten my hair people include me more. Everyone will say hi and compliment me more.
My hair crushed my dreams,
Everything I wanted to be,
My curly hair was the death of me

Hair type: Mixture of 3a and 2b
Yesterday, I didn't wash my hair. Normally, I wash my hair like 2 times a week with a sulfate free shampoo and then I will wet and condition my hair everyday. Now that my hair is getting longer, I can successfully style my second day hair. I just did a second day hair routine which consists of minimal water and conditioner. My boyfriend noticed my hair was dry when I got out the shower and he implied that it was gross for me not to wash my hair. He's not a mean guy or anything. I don't think he realizes that this is good for my hair and that it doesn't mean my hair is dirty. It just kind of hurt. I told him it was mean and he apologized.

I usually get indirect comments like, "I like your hair straight." or "You didn't straighten your hair today."

Then you have the comments from stylists like, "Suave isn't good for your hair." "You must have a lot of buildup and that's why it curls."

I don't know how any of these make sense.
ButterCurl and curlyink3b like this.
When they ask me what products I use at the salon I usually want to tell them its none if their business, just cut my hair. I used to lie and just spout off some salon products, but I realized they always just want to sell something! Now I don't let them put any products in or wash or style my hair. Just the wet down and trim please.
poxyfairyplume and curlyink3b like this.
I usually received many compliments disguising insults. As a sampling:
Once said to me by a senior co-worker 'Oh your hair actually looks pretty today!'
I had it back in a French braid, my lazy style that doesn't show the curls. I so badly wanted to ask them what it looks like on any other day.
Or, 'Your hair is lovely, I bet you hate it!'
Ummm...
'Your hair is pretty, you should flat iron it, just once!'
Said by friends with pin straight hair... seriously?
Idk how you and other curlies can be with someone who has a problem with your hair !!!!!

Sent from my X500 using CurlTalk App
Another comment:

"You should make more of an effort even though you're probably not dating because you have a kid already. I WANT to see you wearing you hair more straight and/or putting more gel/mousse in it. Not natural all the time."
Grrrrrrrrrr! What a stupid idiot! why do ignorant people feel the need to tell me what to do. Stupid stupid stupid!

I just laughed as I was astounded & walked away before my temper got the better of me. Next time she won't be so lucky
This girl in my class who have thin hair braided my hair and she was like it feels like a rope...and she also said my hair can be a weave..but then she said its pretty
Another comment:

"You should make more of an effort even though you're probably not dating because you have a kid already. I WANT to see you wearing you hair more straight and/or putting more gel/mousse in it. Not natural all the time."
Grrrrrrrrrr! What a stupid idiot! why do ignorant people feel the need to tell me what to do. Stupid stupid stupid!

I just laughed as I was astounded & walked away before my temper got the better of me. Next time she won't be so lucky
Originally Posted by fonki

Ummmm....was this person PUNCHED in the throat after that dumb comment? The last time somebody told me what they wanted me to do w/my body they got their feelings hurt.


Sent from my LG-LG730 using CurlTalk App
2yrs 7 months post relaxer/2 years and 11 months natural

Cleanse: SM Moisture Retention or Suave Naturals shampoos
Co-Wash: Suave Naturals, L'Oreal EverCreme or EverCurl
RO/Detangler: Tresseme Naturals, GVPCB
Leave-In: SM Curl Enhancing Smoothie, TN, GVPCB
Styler: EcoStyler, GF Pure Clean gel, KCCC

Just discovering my hair likes protein!

Idk how you and other curlies can be with someone who has a problem with your hair !!!!!

Sent from my X500 using CurlTalk App
Originally Posted by kinkycoilycurly
It was a few years ago, back in a tiny high school. Unfortunately it was either be socialize with people who cant keep their mouths shut, or be alone. :/
"Sideshow bob" about 4 different people have said that to me in the past month in completely different situations. I'm like what the ****? Who calls a girl a scary guy cartoon character name. Ugh makes me wanna cry and punch them in the face
I can't count how many times I've been told to "make an effort" or called lazy for "obviously not even brushing (my) hair in the morning"... I used to get bullied as a kid, and one of the things my bullies would zero in on would be my hair. I got called "troll" a lot, and got to hear absolutely delightful remarks about how my family wasn't just poor, we were stupid and dirty as we let a moptop kid like me run around.

I think the one that's gotten to me most has been being told off for looking "unprofessional" by an employer. I teach, and getting put down for "not setting a good example for the students" was a bit much - I wear neat clothes, light make up, and otherwise turn myself out exactly like my colleagues... but my hair isn't straight, and sometimes goes crazy from rainy weather. Respectability politics in education can be ridiculous.

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