hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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I can't count how many times I've been told to "make an effort" or called lazy for "obviously not even brushing (my) hair in the morning"... I used to get bullied as a kid, and one of the things my bullies would zero in on would be my hair. I got called "troll" a lot, and got to hear absolutely delightful remarks about how my family wasn't just poor, we were stupid and dirty as we let a moptop kid like me run around.

I think the one that's gotten to me most has been being told off for looking "unprofessional" by an employer. I teach, and getting put down for "not setting a good example for the students" was a bit much - I wear neat clothes, light make up, and otherwise turn myself out exactly like my colleagues... but my hair isn't straight, and sometimes goes crazy from rainy weather. Respectability politics in education can be ridiculous.
Originally Posted by ElliOop
That's terrible. I'm really sorry to hear that. Why should we feel bad about being ourselves? Why do people feel the need to push us into these boxes to conform to what they think is the norm? I do think its a bit of inferiority complex shining through. Some people are just uncomfortable with any bit of difference & to some people it's threatening and/or intimidating.

All we can do is hold our heads up high, rise above it and be proud of who we are & with what God has blessed us with whether its different or not. I'll certainly be teaching my kids that.

These petty, shallow comments aren't worth the time of day, to be honest. Not worth a single thought more. but somehow when you've been put down yr whole life esp since an early age - for me anyway, it can be cutting and stirs up some emotion.
One day when I went to the hairdresser when I was 13 or 14 years , the women how attended me says : " Oh you look like a LION " (not in the voluminous good way ) And I was like whatttt ???
When I was born to my foreign speaking mother, my aunt would give my mom crap about everything. It was a horrible horibble time, moving to a new country after marriage, leaving your friends, family, everything behind etc. Well, I was born bald and was just peach fuzz till I was like 1. My aunt would call me a tellatubby baby and was just a dumb***. Well, suddenly these coils formed and I've been the only natural curly in the family since. Bam my annoying aunts were slapped in the face because their poodle perms just couldn't compare lmao. I haven't loved my hair for much of my life but I wish I'd had stopped hating and found out how to care for it sooner. On bad hair days they'll be like oh you hair must be so annoying and you must surely do something to it to get it presentable. Its by no means NATURAL. Uggh some people can't face the facts or get over the fact that indian girls might just have naturally curly hair. But, the best feeling is when people you don't know compliment you... people ask you funny questions etc. Or bet on how long it must take you to do your hair. That's when all the dt's, gels, mousses, leave ins, diy's, oils, and all that jazZ pays off. And of course the reason why my mom just had to accept the fact that I must use a microfiber towel and that I will become defensive when fingers are pointed at my massive pj stash for being so crazy. Its because are all things only another curly would understand.

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Sometimes I get carried away and manipulate him too much. He tells me he's fine on his own but I never listen. I wash him less now and all in all we're happy.
Beast's Favorite Things:
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BC #2: 10/2/13
2c/3a/3b w/ loose botticellis, whirls and curls,
Coarse, High Porosity;CG since 2007
We seriously need our own society where curly people live lmao.

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Sometimes I get carried away and manipulate him too much. He tells me he's fine on his own but I never listen. I wash him less now and all in all we're happy.
Beast's Favorite Things:
Shea Moisture
Kinky Curly
Curl Junkie
Natural Stuff
BC #2: 10/2/13
2c/3a/3b w/ loose botticellis, whirls and curls,
Coarse, High Porosity;CG since 2007
Sorry to hear your family has made things difficult for you. You have lovely hair, and hopefully the more we each embrace our curls, the more everyone else will appreciate them. It's so great that there's a whole new hair care industry because of us pro-curlies. How amazing that these days we have specialty pro-curl salons. I agree with you about how nice it is to get compliments from strangers! I never take any of those for granted.
3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums
When my hair was relaxed all the way from 3 years old to 25 years old I NEVER got mean comments. But when I did the BC to go natural I was called a boy but not by people on the street but by family!!! When my hair got longer and more curlier my grandmother would always say every time I came around "You need a perm" or "Let me give you a perm". Its funny but now that the family is seeing my hair flourishing all my aunts and cousins are going natural. Now my grandmother says "Oh your curls are so pretty" lol

Its just funny how family says "Oh we will support you in whatever decision you make in life" but the minute it comes to your own hair they are singing a different tune!
*Natural 3C/TWA*
Wash: BS/ACV, KC Come Clean
Conditioner: SM SB Restorative, Yucca & Baobab

Pre-Poo: Oils & Honey Mix
DC: SM Manuka Honey Masque, SM Yucca Masque
PT:
Super Mayo Deep Conditioning Treatment
Styler:
AVG, Oyin Burnt Sugar Pomade
Leave-In: KCKT, SM Yucca Milk
Oil/Sealant: Jojoba,
Avocado, EVCO, EVOO, JBCO
I hate when people say "I like your hair so much better now that you have grown it out." Because my head used to be shaved. It makes me feel like they think I looked bad before.

When my hair was relaxed all the way from 3 years old to 25 years old I NEVER got mean comments. But when I did the BC to go natural I was called a boy but not by people on the street but by family!!! When my hair got longer and more curlier my grandmother would always say every time I came around "You need a perm" or "Let me give you a perm". Its funny but now that the family is seeing my hair flourishing all my aunts and cousins are going natural. Now my grandmother says "Oh your curls are so pretty" lol

Its just funny how family says "Oh we will support you in whatever decision you make in life" but the minute it comes to your own hair they are singing a different tune!
Originally Posted by pinkwolf
Sounds like everyone in your family is following your lead! How cool is that?
3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums

Last edited by Korkscrew; 10-01-2013 at 03:44 AM.
My friend Michelle always comments on the frizz and ask if I am using product and I'm sick of it! Her hair I naturally curly but she always straightens it. I on the other hand love my curls frizz and all. They are a blessing and a curse but I will never change my hair again 💕 I love it for everything it is and everything it is not! I wish I had friends that embraced their curls all the time like me 😔
Korkscrew likes this.
3A Curl Pattern, Low Porosity, High Density, Medium Width, Long Length

Loving my curls/waves!


Product loves: Chagrin Valley Shampoo Bars, ACV rinses, Suave Naturals Conditioner wash on in between days, silk scrunchies, Ouidad Curl refreshing spray, Avocado/olive oil/honey deep treatment, Coconut oil on ends/length

Currently waist length while wet and going for waist length while dry!
When I was 10 a boy at school asked my teacher in front of whole class why do I look like I've combed my hair with firecrackers, and they called me firecracker for two years. It took me 10 years to accept my hair
What I dislike a lot is when people make disparaging comments about curly and wavy hair in front of me-- with curly hair-- and when I make it known I didn't appreciate their comments they say:

"Oh, but I wasn't including YOU when I said that."

Sorry but I am not an idiot. I am not going to pretend that I am a special snowflake and assume that I'm not included in those comments. If I'm not included, then DON'T SAY IT.
I get mostly positive comments, but months ago someone told me that I should be a stripper. Now, I have nothing against strippers, but it's not one of my career choices. I was literally speechless! The girl who said this told me that she thought so because of my curls and how I "flipped them around." I was about to go onstage, and was just fixing my hair. It wasn't necessarily hurtful, it was just a comment that I had never heard before.
Curly and PROUD!!!

My hair has a mix of low/med/high porosity, and it's medium textured (some are still fine, though!)

CG since Sept. 2011
Cowash: Vo5/Suave Naturals/Tresemme Naturals*
RO/LI: GVPCB*, Tresemme Naturals*
Low-poo: Shea Moisture Moisture Retention
Stylers: KCKT*, Coconut Oil, Olive Oil, Grapeseed Oil, Honey*

* represents my HGs!!! Finally!!!
It used to really bother me when i was younger My mom would always say she wished i had looser curls like my brothers( not in an abusive or intentional hurtful manner but it def hurt alot) and eventually it kinda scarred me inside lol my hair was always long then oneday she said it was too much of a hassle and cut it basically bald then shed take me to hair salons and all theyd ever tell her is LETS RELAX IT so shes like okay without even know what it did to my hair. Then she kept that up til finally a lady who did her hair said what are you doing to your daughter look how much her hair is damaged and my mom was all okay how i fix the damage then the ladies like she'll has to start fresh . Shaved my hair off..again i hated it everyone would call me a boy etc so i got old enough where id grow it out but wasnt sure how to take care of it so.. yup yu guessed it RELAX IT i finally had my last straw when it left my scalp in blisters and clumps falling out. From that day for about 2 or 3 years i did basically nothing at all but detangle my hair and leave it in a scarf i wanted it to grow and be natural and beautiful and i wanted to do it alone . So of course my friends and family would make fun of me etc . THEN THE NATURAL HAIR hit waist length i chopped all the creamy crack evidence and was left with the most beautiful curls that im beyond proud of && now everyone who put me down wants to compliment me ..HAAAA

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KinkyChica likes this.
Hello Lovely Curlies!

I'm pretty new to NC, well I've been reading lots of the forums but just signed up. I straightened- chenically + flat ironed - my 3a curls to within an inch of it all snapping off but have been back to my natural state sfor about 18 months.

Why did I go to reach for the straightners??? Because of CURL BASHING! Why did anyone feel the need to call me "fuzzy wuzzy" or ask why i had pubic hair growing out my head? Why be so mean??? I honestly dont think that anyone who says these things realises the effect that it has on you.

I'm finally learning to love + care for my curls, but stillhave the odd down day - you know when your curls have a mind of their own and you cant control them and no point trying to fight them, and allof those horrible comments come flooding back
When I did the BC a man at my job asked if I was "ill or sick"...smh!

Then so many other men said they loved it, I forgot about him until just now...LOL!
My hair is "exotic, beautiful and free",,,yeah, that be ME!!!
3B/C - Easy to straighten, [no heat ever/no protect. styling].

Low Porosity/Medium Density
Mid Width/BSL-stretched/
BC - 12/2012

I am a "Co-Wash/Finger Comb Lady!

Scalp Cleanser - SM ABS Purification Hair Masque
Co-wash - Tresemme Naturals
Leave In - SM CH C&S Cond.
Hydration - SM CH Curl Smoothie
Styler - SM CH Curl & Style Milk
Deep Cond. - SM Manuka & Mafura DC

I've been insulted by comments like "Your hair looks like wet noodles" and "You look like Cruella de Vil!" which doesn't really make sense since her hair is mostly depicted as straight from what I remember... still, though, the comment was meant to insult my hair.
I really hate my sister for saying thinks like : "your hair isn't naturally curly it's just wavy and your curls are fake ...
My mom also says this... I don't know why but I'm the only one with curly hair in our family so apparently they're just jealous!!

But recently a comment about my curls really insulted me ,my sister was talking about how stupid curls are and how stupid girls would look with curly hair .
She was in the bathroom,looking in the mirror when she screamed "oh look at my curl ","I got one curl in my hair " she was almost freakin out ..but when I said "well that's just a wave "
She said something like :"well your hair is ugly ,I hate those fake curls but elisabeth (she used to be a friend of mine ,she's still my sister's friend but I HATE that girl for several reasons ) has such pretty curly hair, her curls are just amazing ".....(actually she straights her curls but well ...)
I just ran in my room and started crying !!
How can a person be so mean ??





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Curl pattern: 2c-3a

Porosity: medium
Density: fine
Width: medium
Length:Medium

Routine: modified CG
CW: AO Rose Mosqueta ,Honeysuckle
On the one hand your sister said all curls are ugly, but then on the other she praised someone's curls. Now I could be wrong, but it sounds like hair insults are just a "symptom" of you and your sister's sibling rivalry (competition). I'm betting you're close in age. The petty back-n-forth insults are something a lot of teens and very young adults grow out of. Doesn't sound like she hates curls but is just needling you. Your best bet is to ignore all the hair comments and just change the subject when it comes up.
bobby likes this.
3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums
On the one hand your sister said all curls are ugly, but then on the other she praised someone's curls. Now I could be wrong, but it sounds like hair insults are just a "symptom" of you and your sister's sibling rivalry (competition). I'm betting you're close in age. The petty back-n-forth insults are something a lot of teens and very young adults grow out of. Doesn't sound like she hates curls but is just needling you. Your best bet is to ignore all the hair comments and just change the subject when it comes up.
Originally Posted by Korkscrew
Korkscrew, you are the voice of reason. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you make a great "curly psychologist. I wish I would have heeded this advice when I was 14, growing my hair out and having a head of curls. I got a lot compliments but also got a few, "you look like a girl comments." Unfortunately the latter resonated with me more than the former, which led to wearing it very short for 20 years. Then I saw other guys lose theirs and I wore it longer again. Better late than never I suppose.

"curls aren't just for girls."
2B always with potential of white man's fro

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"Curls aren't just for girls"

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