hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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I have the same problem! I have very long 3b curls. One of my straight haired friend who I had know for years and I were talking about hair and she asked what race I was. I told her I was Native American( I have the Cherokee nose and high cheek bones) and she said she didn't know American Indians could have curly hair like mine, she had that look on her face like I was lying about my spirals. We arnt aLL POCAHANTOS OKAY
I hated when people would say that they liked it better when I straightened my hair and that I looked prettier that way. I actually don't agree, my curls look great on me. It's a shame that I let those people ruin my confidence about my hair.. Because of that I straightened it for over 8 years. I never sat there and said a word about anyone, and yet I'm the one whose gotten bullied about it. Straight haired people just don't get it. At all.
CurlyFries - lots of people don't like people who are different to them as you scare them as you ruin their world view.

Remember this when you come across the foolish and the self-haters.
Blueblood and korkscrew: thanks guys I'm happy with who I am
One day when I went to the hairdresser when I was 13 or 14 years , the women how attended me says : " Oh you look like a LION " (not in the voluminous good way ) And I was like whatttt ???
Originally Posted by CurlySmiler
Yeah, I used to hear that all the time from my mom's side of the family when I was a little kid. It really disenchanted me about my hair and never during my childhood did I ever think positively about my hair.
I feel like I belong here in so many ways.....

I had so many hurtful comments growing up (which is why all throughout high school I pulled my hair back into ponytails and such).

One of the worst was when my mom cut my loose curls really short and I had afro because of it. Let the "you're the 6th Jackson brother" and "omg, look it's Michael Jackson!" comments ensue. Of course, my sister didn't help when she called me "puffball" on the school bus and subsequently, so did everyone else. But my least favorite of all was more of an action than an actual comment. In 8th grade, I had a so-called "friend" who sat behind me in English and he would sit there and throw staples and other random objects into my hair and snicker because I wouldn't really notice and they would "stay there forever." When I finally did notice, it was horrible and I felt like such crap! Plus, I found more random objects later in the shower....

People are so rude sometimes.


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It's frustrating how a lot of people think an afro (or "afro-like hair",) is one of the worst types/styles of hair you can have, or that it's worthy of teasing.
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It's frustrating how a lot of people think an afro (or "afro-like hair",) is one of the worst types/styles of hair you can have, or that it's worthy of teasing.
Originally Posted by Korkscrew
This annoys me too. I CRINGE when another curly refers to their hair as an afro in a bad way...when they dont have "Afro" type hair...they just have a lot of frizz.

I just think..."You do realize that "Afros" are curly too, right?" Idk im a bit technical about it bc the word "Fro" doesn't bother me as much. Idk y lol


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I love how you just put that: you cringe. That's exactly what I do too.

My guess is that most people - Dani included - don't consciously intend to insult other curl types while putting down her own hair, and she definitely got teased for her hair type too. And Dani, I'm not purposely singling out just you BUT ...

Smiling Elephant, you hit the nail on the head: afros (or African hair in general) is curly, just more so than other curly hair. If people kept that in mind, maybe they'd be a little more sensitive about dismissing afros or African hair on a curly hair site. Maybe.

This offense happens often enough that I think it'd be great if there were a rule at this site against making generalized, disparaging remarks against ANY type of curly/coily/wavy hair. So if someone made an insensitive remark about "afros", for example, the mod or another poster could simply respond with a post containing a link stating the rule. Because really, if you can't even take shelter in the "Hall of Shame" forum w/out feeling like your hair type won't be dissed, how much of a sense of a community can you really have at this site?
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I love how you just put that: you cringe. That's exactly what I do too.

My guess is that most people - Dani included - don't consciously intend to insult other curl types while putting down her own hair, and she definitely got teased for her hair type too. And Dani, I'm not purposely singling out just you BUT ...

Smiling Elephant, you hit the nail on the head: afros (or African hair in general) is curly, just more so than other curly hair. If people kept that in mind, maybe they'd be a little more sensitive about dismissing afros or African hair on a curly hair site. Maybe.

This offense happens often enough that I think it'd be great if there were a rule at this site against making generalized, disparaging remarks against ANY type of curly/coily/wavy hair. So if someone made an insensitive remark about "afros", for example, the mod or another poster could simply respond with a post containing a link stating the rule. Because really, if you can't even take shelter in the "Hall of Shame" forum w/out feeling like your hair type won't be dissed, how much of a sense of a community can you really have at this site?
Originally Posted by Korkscrew
Yeah...but not even just here...in YouTube videos too

Im just fed up with the notion that anything "Afro" or Black is bad.

We are not bad! Lol

Jeez!



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2yrs 7 months post relaxer/2 years and 11 months natural

Cleanse: SM Moisture Retention or Suave Naturals shampoos
Co-Wash: Suave Naturals, L'Oreal EverCreme or EverCurl
RO/Detangler: Tresseme Naturals, GVPCB
Leave-In: SM Curl Enhancing Smoothie, TN, GVPCB
Styler: EcoStyler, GF Pure Clean gel, KCCC

Just discovering my hair likes protein!

I love how you just put that: you cringe. That's exactly what I do too.

My guess is that most people - Dani included - don't consciously intend to insult other curl types while putting down her own hair, and she definitely got teased for her hair type too. And Dani, I'm not purposely singling out just you BUT ...

Smiling Elephant, you hit the nail on the head: afros (or African hair in general) is curly, just more so than other curly hair. If people kept that in mind, maybe they'd be a little more sensitive about dismissing afros or African hair on a curly hair site. Maybe.

This offense happens often enough that I think it'd be great if there were a rule at this site against making generalized, disparaging remarks against ANY type of curly/coily/wavy hair. So if someone made an insensitive remark about "afros", for example, the mod or another poster could simply respond with a post containing a link stating the rule. Because really, if you can't even take shelter in the "Hall of Shame" forum w/out feeling like your hair type won't be dissed, how much of a sense of a community can you really have at this site?
Originally Posted by Korkscrew
Yeah...but not even just here...in YouTube videos too

Im just fed up with the notion that anything "Afro" or Black is bad.

We are not bad! Lol

Jeez!


Originally Posted by SmilingElephant
Take heart.

There are people who aren't Black who want an Afro or are proud that their hair does (or did in the case of one guy I know) grow into an Afro.
Yes! One example is the positively named Jewfro, for white Jews w/Afroesque hair who wear it proudly (rarely have I heard the word used negatively). I also proudly refer to mine as a Jewfro (am both African and a white Jew). That said, of course there are also Jews who say crappy, racist things about Afros too (often while having very curly hair that's artificially straightened).

While there are many other non-blacks who covet the Afro, or are proud of their Afros, it still gets under my skin when posters w/out "Afro hair" routinely and cluelessly prattle on about how much they hate their "frizzy Afro hair", while posting on a pro-curl website. Yes, they seem to be mostly white, non-black or mixed (like me) and it always sounds brainless and vile.
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It's amazing the perception of 'Afros,' for I admire and drool over any 'afros' I see. I try to make mine similar to one, but that always fails lol. They are curly and it just makes me straight up angry when I see somebody say they have bad frizz which to them equals an afro, all of which is in a negative connotation. It is definitely peoples thought processes and how they connect things that are certainly an issue.
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It's frustrating how a lot of people think an afro (or "afro-like hair",) is one of the worst types/styles of hair you can have, or that it's worthy of teasing.
Originally Posted by Korkscrew
I may not have felt like that at another point in my life but I take the 'fro like hair as a compliment. I especially love it when it's long enough to sport the purple pick!
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2B always with potential of white man's fro

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Oh man, great post here!!

My former hairstylist would complain about my hair being so nappy. She told my dad and he laughed at me for it for years....during my middle/high school years....so fun.

In second grade boys would run up to me yelling "static". I partially blame my mom for this as she wouldn't brush or style my hair more than once a week...I did look messy.

As a result of the mocking I combed my hair and put it in a very tight bun for most of high school and then comments lessened.

I finally figure out how to style it myself in college and was muuuch happier and get nothing but compliments these days. Woot!
I love how you just put that: you cringe. That's exactly what I do too.

My guess is that most people - Dani included - don't consciously intend to insult other curl types while putting down her own hair, and she definitely got teased for her hair type too. And Dani, I'm not purposely singling out just you BUT ...

Smiling Elephant, you hit the nail on the head: afros (or African hair in general) is curly, just more so than other curly hair. If people kept that in mind, maybe they'd be a little more sensitive about dismissing afros or African hair on a curly hair site. Maybe.

This offense happens often enough that I think it'd be great if there were a rule at this site against making generalized, disparaging remarks against ANY type of curly/coily/wavy hair. So if someone made an insensitive remark about "afros", for example, the mod or another poster could simply respond with a post containing a link stating the rule. Because really, if you can't even take shelter in the "Hall of Shame" forum w/out feeling like your hair type won't be dissed, how much of a sense of a community can you really have at this site?
Originally Posted by Korkscrew
I apologize if I offended anyone by describing my hair as an Afro. By no shape or form did I mean it as a negative comment. In fact, I have no other way to describe it other than that. It was literally a 70's style Afro (much like my father used to rock). However, I will agree that people hear the word and automatically assume that it is being used negatively. I think society has negatively associated with Afros as being "nappy" or "unruly" hair. I don't think that's the case. My hair was perfectly round, and contained during that time. Probably more well behaved than it currently is.

I do think too, however, that society is becoming more accepting of the natural hair movement. My younger sister is sporting an Afro currently and loving it. I think more and more people are becoming accepting of this. I tend to think of the word Afro as describing a hair style rather than a type of curly hair, but that may just be me.


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Looking for new products and methods to try!

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Oh brother. "I'm sorry if ... " is no better than "I'm sorry but ... " LOL ... That's apologetics (a political apology), not a real apology. Why do so many folks use the word "sorry" to jump-start their personal defense campaign?

Anyway, I genuinely hope you're wrong about this all being a "natural hair movement". I like to think of it as people just getting back to basics and shrugging off all the brain-washed straight-haired thinking. Then again, you could turn out to be totally right if one day the "movement" ends and everyone is straightening their hair again. It happened in the 70s so it certainly could happen again.
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Last edited by Korkscrew; 12-31-2013 at 03:25 PM.
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