hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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I also remember a time when I had just picked up my friend to take her to school. She came out and said her hair was frizzy. It wasn't. Her problem was flyaways and static not frizz. She has extremely fine and thin naturally straight hair When I said that my hair was frizzy (It was humid day), she was like, Oh your hair is always frizzy. I couldn't believe it.
3A/2C combination of ringlets and waves
Wow- I'm so sorry you all went through that!

I come from a family of frizzmops and grew up in predominantly minority schools, so I wasn't out of place with my curls- I was pretty sheltered from teasing about my hair.

I just got it about being chesty, chubby, smart and the nasty gigantic pink plastic glasses my grandmother insisted on buying for me. So I guess the hair was overshadowed by the rest!

Anyway, most people love my hair, but I had a self-hating curly cut my hair recently. I told her I did NOT want to straighten my hair and her response was: "don't you have a boyfriend?" I asked what the <ahem> that had anything to do with it and she replied "well, I just thought if you did you would want it to look nice for him."

I told her I LOVE my curls and the men I've dated do too and they would have been mortified if I straightened it "to make it look nice."

Once in high school a guy was ripping his fingers through my hair (sans permission) and told me I was the only white girl he'd ever known with nappy hair.... I just told him I never asked him- nor gave him permission- to touch my hair.
Wow- I'm so sorry you all went through that!

I come from a family of frizzmops and grew up in predominantly minority schools, so I wasn't out of place with my curls- I was pretty sheltered from teasing about my hair.

I just got it about being chesty, chubby, smart and the nasty gigantic pink plastic glasses my grandmother insisted on buying for me. So I guess the hair was overshadowed by the rest!

Anyway, most people love my hair, but I had a self-hating curly cut my hair recently. I told her I did NOT want to straighten my hair and her response was: "don't you have a boyfriend?" I asked what the <ahem> that had anything to do with it and she replied "well, I just thought if you did you would want it to look nice for him."

I told her I LOVE my curls and the men I've dated do too and they would have been mortified if I straightened it "to make it look nice."

Once in high school a guy was ripping his fingers through my hair (sans permission) and told me I was the only white girl he'd ever known with nappy hair.... I just told him I never asked him- nor gave him permission- to touch my hair.
sorry for the hiccup- error message!
Just got back from a retreat with my youth group (lotsa fun, but a different story). My friends kidnapped me and decided that they were going to give me a make-over. They straightened my hair (I'll admit, it looked cute! But I love my curls much more) and did my make-up (also kind of cute, but too much). It started off with the girls when they were done. They all said "oooh, who's this hottie here!?" Then, we went downstairs to line up for dinner and my youth pastor jokingly pulled me aside. He said "sarah... what did you to your hair?" I explained the situation and he replied "well, you do know that guys will be following you around now, don't you?" Now, that sort of annoyed me, but I shook it off. I knew that he was joking, so I didn't pay much attention.

Throughout the night, I had girls coming up to me and saying basically the same thing. Then, later that night, my sister and a friend walked past and said "woah, who's the new girl? What a hottie with straight hair!" That really annoyed me. Everyone said things similar that night, like "hey, sarah, I didn't recognize you without all your hair!"

I know that they were trying to compliment me, but the way that they were doing it didn't help me much.

Plus, everyone really refered to me that night as "jess's little sister" because we apparently looked a lot more alike than before. Or something like that. I feel like I wasted my time trying to seperate myself from my sister's image!

There we go, I'm done.

Sarah

"And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance
But you are not alone in this"

“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” - Tina Fey
I just BC'ed to short 3c hair and its not the comments that bother me its the looks i get. No one says anything really. I mean i get some compliments all phony though except one or 2. I wasnt expecting any but i really wasnt expecting the looks.
*~Asia~*
All natural for the second time since October 30, 2010 after cutting the last 3-4 inches of t-laxed hair. I am learning to love and style my curly 3C/4A hair without frying it with the flat iron

My goal is to have BSL hair again in 18 months! I'm a PJ and always on the look out for my Holy Grail!
I just BC'ed to short 3c hair and its not the comments that bother me its the looks i get. No one says anything really. I mean i get some compliments all phony though except one or 2. I wasnt expecting any but i really wasnt expecting the looks.
*~Asia~*
All natural for the second time since October 30, 2010 after cutting the last 3-4 inches of t-laxed hair. I am learning to love and style my curly 3C/4A hair without frying it with the flat iron

My goal is to have BSL hair again in 18 months! I'm a PJ and always on the look out for my Holy Grail!
Im new here but I may be one of the older ones so I have a book full of "experiences and insults" about my hair. Im a 2C with cowlicks to top it all off. When I went to high school, the style was straight like Cher used to wear. I was teased endlessly. I didnt know how to do anything with my hair, just let it grow and frizz. One of those comments that has stayed with me through life is when a coworker told me the boss didnt give me a raise because " you never comb your hair" That has to be the strangest comment I ever heard! My hair was brushed, but because it is curly, they thought it was "messy".
I get the "Shirley Temple" thing aaaall the time. I hated it because of the whole "cute kid" connotation. I'm 26, darnit!



I grew up in Los Angeles, which has the world's biggest population of curl haters. Unless you're an A-list star, of cource; Then it's "BoHo Chic." But I wasn't an A-list star. so, I would get blown straight all the time by people who hadn't the foggiest idea as to how. I feel so bad for my mom knowing that she must have paid a mint for some of my haircuts only to get a daughter who looked like a poodle in return.

I eventually made her take me to SuperCuts, where there were people there with real hair. Better result, 1/4 of the price. It pays to have curly people cut your hair!

My favorite was the guy who gave me the frizz comb-over...

or maybe the 18 year old Hair Cuttery girl who blew it dry with a wide-toothed brush. I asked her to ring me up a hair clip and then put my Roseanadanna hair up in front of her. Haven't been back since.



Then there are the touchy-feely types:

"oh, I LOVE your HAIR!!!!"

*cue the 5 mintues of hair-fondling that turns it into a frizz-fest*

It's the same people that touch pregnant women they don't know without asking.


but I digress...


Most people I went to high school with didn't really care about my hair too much, but the 3-4 people that took a great, personal offense to my curls made up for it:

There was one girl who was totally BAFFLED that a lilly-white girl had curls. She never said anything bad, but she STARED at my hair constantly. She offered up some advice, which was kind of cool in retrospect, but unsolicited, bad advice is never appriciated.

One kid in JHS asked where my afro pic was... because my loose corkscrews are SOOO kinky. Idiot.

A few teachers told me that I should straighten my hair when I went on job interveiws.

My favorite backhanded compliment! "you have beautiful hair! Why don't you straighten it?" Because it's beautiful, you schmuck!

And the creme a la creme...

I was at church and there was a lady from the choir using a curling iron on her hair in the bathroom. I went over next to her to put my hair in a half ponytail when she reaches out, grabs a curl AND STRAIGHTENS A CHUNK OF MY HAIR. :x

So I had a mass of wonderful curls, except one half-straight fizzy thing right in front of my face. Thanks ever so.





wow, that was sufficiantly ADD, wasn't it?
And the creme a la creme...

I was at church and there was a lady from the choir using a curling iron on her hair in the bathroom. I went over next to her to put my hair in a half ponytail when she reaches out, grabs a curl AND STRAIGHTENS A CHUNK OF MY HAIR. :x

So I had a mass of wonderful curls, except one half-straight fizzy thing right in front of my face. Thanks ever so.
Originally Posted by betweenshades
What is WRONG with people?! You don't just do something insane like that to someone!

I'd have reached over and pulled my fingers through her hair until all the curls fell out and got tangled. Maybe that would teach her. :P
http://unpavedpath.blogspot.com/
most hurtful comment -----> "hahahahaha"
What is WRONG with people?! You don't just do something insane like that to someone!

I'd have reached over and pulled my fingers through her hair until all the curls fell out and got tangled. Maybe that would teach her. :P
Originally Posted by utopiastars
She's one of my mom's friends that's known me since I was 4, so she had this messed up sence of ownership to my hair. I was so shocked that I had no idea what to say. She tried doing it again later on, but I went off on her.
Sarah - 3B/C, CG since 11/25/05

DevaCurl and Jessicurl rock my hair care world.

My Hair Journal

Reading all these posts makes me wish we all went to school together.
My hair had to do with a majority of my childhood/teenage bad memories.
From the time I was 4 I can remember some stupid comment that was said about my super curly hair. The first vivid one I remember was when I was 4 or 5 and I ran out to get the mail when the mailman pulled up and started making fun of my hair from the truck.
In every grade I can remember walking down a hallway/bus/grocery store (anywhere for that matter) and having someone (even adults) or a group of kids shouting out bush, fro, frizzhead, etc.
The worst time I had was in 7th grade. My parents were just divorced and my dad moved my sister and I to Pennsylvania. I didn't know anyone, hated my aunt and my sister (who was a year older) was the only friend I had for a long time.
Every day I would dread walking to the bus stop because I knew it would be the beginning of another miserable day. It would start with a couple boys at the stop who somehow always found something to say or snicker about. Once the bus pulled up I'd get scared and prepare myself to hunt for a seat within the first few rows because I knew if I went more than 5 rows back it would be torture for the next 45 minutes. I came up with this ritual that if I saw this old sign of a frog that hung on the side of a barn we passed then I would have a good day. If I ever missed it I would be paraniod until coming home.
The day came when I couldn't find a seat on the bus and ended up almost at the back. The entire ride was spent being made fun of by about 15 kids and of course I missed the sign because I wouldn't look up. I got off at school crying and my sister searched for me. She saw me and asked me what happened, I told her and we went straight to the asst. principal. My sister (who was about 13 at the time) pretty much yelled at her to do something about it, which nothing was.
After that miserable year we came back to colorado to live with our mom (we loved our dad dearly, but my sister and I couldn't take our aunt, those kids and all kinds of other crap that happened).
The teasing never stopped, but I could handle it much better. I got my first job at a restaurant and, of course, had to deal with this jerk cook (who was like 31) who would yell out "We're gonna have a bush fire" or "tumbleweed!". He tried to get me fired because I told him to F-off every time but my bosses knew I was a hard worker and that he teased me constantly.
But many good things have come about because of my hair and I embrace it now. Mainly because no matter what I knew my mom always tried to help me get through it. After starting the CG routine last october my hair has looked better then ever (I'm 26 now). My mom saw it and said she couldn't believe how well the routine worked. She said she wished she knew about it when I was a kid so she could help me care for it. My best friend, who is a cosmetologist and has always loved/envied my hair (as she always says), now recommends the technique to all her curly clients and has had her name referred to tons more curly haired people because of the results.
Then there is my husband, Chris. Though I didn't know he would become my husband, I'll never forget one of the first things he said to me. We met at a club (my hair was pulled back of course) and we danced together. We left in seperate cars and I pulled down my hair to let my head breathe when he ran back to the car and asked if I'd like to go get something to eat. I was paranoid he'd never talk to me again because he saw my "real" hair. Well, we talked on the phone a few days later and he said (which I never, ever thought I'd hear) "You have beautiful hair."
From that moment on I had no inhibitions to falling in love with him or worry about him making fun of me for it or wanting me to change it.
I think he loves my curly hair more than me at times.
But what matters most is now I love my hair and would never do anything to change it.
christybird
Awwww. I'll just never understand why people are so mean, especially about things that are beyond our control. I feel as though parents are partly to blame, though... I'd never have even dreamed of making fun of someone for looking "different", because my mother was strict in making sure my brother and I knew that it's wrong.

I remember my little brother defending a girl in his elementary school against her tormentors, who were picking on her for being bald. She had cancer, and she wore baseball caps to cover up her head while she was in remission and her hair was growing back.

That's a fabulous idea, though, christybird... someone ought to create schools especially for curlies. Life would have been so much easier for a lot of us that way!
http://unpavedpath.blogspot.com/
Oh my gosh Christybird, I felt like I was reading my biography! School was the worst for me. My step mother made me have short hair. Then tried to get me to do it like old women do. Curling my curls with a big curling iron and floofing it out. I'd re-wett it before going to school. got called poodle, fro girl, everything in the book. All the years were bad but 7th was my absolute worst as well. middle school, bus, mean kids. I moved and in 8th grade it was a K-8 school so I wasn't nearly as made fun of and the kids seemed to be more mature, same with highschool. Although I striaghtned it so much in highschool, it was obvious as my hair is very curly, I constantly got asked questions and teased a bit. It finally eased when I "rebelled" and my hair grew out and I stopped straightening it. Everyone liked it alot better. By my senior year I felt like that ugly duckling story. After years of being an introvert and very shy, avoiding people for fear of hearing a mean comment, it didn't go well. Aside from close friends I had from my before, I got very nervous when people would talk to me all the time and I think it created kind of a social anxiety to this day. It is comforting to know that in that big "90210" High School (it was knicked that b/c of all the richies) that people actually liked my curly hair once I learned how to care for it a bit.
"Impeach Busch. Drink good beer."
Christy, I think school was hard on everyone! Even though I liked my hair and got good feedback from my frineds, I still got some rude comments and dumb questions ("do you brush your hair?" ...wtf?) once in a while.
Sarah - 3B/C, CG since 11/25/05

DevaCurl and Jessicurl rock my hair care world.

My Hair Journal

Reading all these posts makes me wish we all went to school together.
My hair had to do with a majority of my childhood/teenage bad memories.
From the time I was 4 I can remember some stupid comment that was said about my super curly hair. The first vivid one I remember was when I was 4 or 5 and I ran out to get the mail when the mailman pulled up and started making fun of my hair from the truck.
In every grade I can remember walking down a hallway/bus/grocery store (anywhere for that matter) and having someone (even adults) or a group of kids shouting out bush, fro, frizzhead, etc.
The worst time I had was in 7th grade. My parents were just divorced and my dad moved my sister and I to Pennsylvania. I didn't know anyone, hated my aunt and my sister (who was a year older) was the only friend I had for a long time.
Every day I would dread walking to the bus stop because I knew it would be the beginning of another miserable day. It would start with a couple boys at the stop who somehow always found something to say or snicker about. Once the bus pulled up I'd get scared and prepare myself to hunt for a seat within the first few rows because I knew if I went more than 5 rows back it would be torture for the next 45 minutes. I came up with this ritual that if I saw this old sign of a frog that hung on the side of a barn we passed then I would have a good day. If I ever missed it I would be paraniod until coming home.
The day came when I couldn't find a seat on the bus and ended up almost at the back. The entire ride was spent being made fun of by about 15 kids and of course I missed the sign because I wouldn't look up. I got off at school crying and my sister searched for me. She saw me and asked me what happened, I told her and we went straight to the asst. principal. My sister (who was about 13 at the time) pretty much yelled at her to do something about it, which nothing was.
After that miserable year we came back to colorado to live with our mom (we loved our dad dearly, but my sister and I couldn't take our aunt, those kids and all kinds of other crap that happened).
The teasing never stopped, but I could handle it much better. I got my first job at a restaurant and, of course, had to deal with this jerk cook (who was like 31) who would yell out "We're gonna have a bush fire" or "tumbleweed!". He tried to get me fired because I told him to F-off every time but my bosses knew I was a hard worker and that he teased me constantly.
But many good things have come about because of my hair and I embrace it now. Mainly because no matter what I knew my mom always tried to help me get through it. After starting the CG routine last october my hair has looked better then ever (I'm 26 now). My mom saw it and said she couldn't believe how well the routine worked. She said she wished she knew about it when I was a kid so she could help me care for it. My best friend, who is a cosmetologist and has always loved/envied my hair (as she always says), now recommends the technique to all her curly clients and has had her name referred to tons more curly haired people because of the results.
Then there is my husband, Chris. Though I didn't know he would become my husband, I'll never forget one of the first things he said to me. We met at a club (my hair was pulled back of course) and we danced together. We left in seperate cars and I pulled down my hair to let my head breathe when he ran back to the car and asked if I'd like to go get something to eat. I was paranoid he'd never talk to me again because he saw my "real" hair. Well, we talked on the phone a few days later and he said (which I never, ever thought I'd hear) "You have beautiful hair."
From that moment on I had no inhibitions to falling in love with him or worry about him making fun of me for it or wanting me to change it.
I think he loves my curly hair more than me at times.
But what matters most is now I love my hair and would never do anything to change it.
Originally Posted by christybird
I like your ending! I bet you have beautiful hair!
"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

Hair type: 3b/c
My new housemate said to me a couple of week ago, "Your hair is sooo . . . . interesting."

If it hadn't been directed at me, the sarcasm would've been beautiful!

I am pretty sure that it wasn't an anti-curl sentiment, but I do think my hair must've been looking crazy that day.
I'm sorry. That really sucks. My mom kept having my hair cut so short I didn't know I had curly hair until I was in high school. My friend lovingly called me the wild woman of the west (because of my hair) I thought it was cute and I didn't mind because she loved my hair. Most people at school made fun of me, but I was in a youth group where there was a girl who had bigger and curlier hair then me so I felt just fine and everyone loved my hair. In fact guys hit on me a lot more after I started going curly. I think straight hair on everyone looks stupid. All I can say is don't worry about it. I'm sure your hair is great. Who cares what they think. :x





Between 3a/3b
“Law is order, and good law is good order” (Aristotle).
A few years ago my husband and I were invited at a pastor and his wife´s house. They had two daughters, I believe, 4 and 2. When we sat down on the table the 4 yr old girl looked at me intensely and said: "your hair looks funny". The parents started laughing and laughing to the point that they couldn´t stop.

I guess I didn´t mind that much that the girl said that to me, what bothered me were the parents.
"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

Hair type: 3b/c

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