hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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I just remembered! Everybody in school used to ask me if my hair was fake. There was one bully girl who refused to believe my curls were "real" and made comments about snatching my hair out of my head and such in front of her friends. She was such a loser.
I think that, for the most part, I was fortunate to have been in high school in the late '80's. Perms were in style, and so was ratting your hair (a la metal bands) to get it as big and frizzy as possible, so in that way, I didn't stand out too much However, I did get lots of comments about the frizz through junior high and into early high school, because I was still brushing my hair.

As an aside - one thing I remember clearly from high school that opened my eyes was talking to this girl at the local pizza place, and finding out that her hair was naturally curly. She had the most beautiful, tight ringlets, and I could have sworn at the time that it was a perm. She also said she never brushed her hair. My friends and I were all in awe! After that, I started wondering if maybe my hair was similar, so I stopped brushing it, and all of a sudden I had curls! That moment completely turned things around for me. All that time, I just thought it was "naturally frizzy".
Hair type: 3A. Almost chin length with Bettie bangs. Currently using GF Curl & Shine S/C, leave in and jojoba oil. Colored black. Check out my curly journal on this site!
ETA: Oh, someone else was talking about her husband's nickname for her... one of the things my husband calls me is Little Big Hair.
Originally Posted by Gemini13
That made me laugh
My best friend has a white mother and a black father. She was raised by her mother's family, who didn't know anything about caring for her curly hair. To this day, she fights with all her might against her curls. I try to get her to this web site, so she can get some support, but she won't even look. I feel bad cuz she is constantly at the hairdressers, spending hours and money on trying to changing herself
Originally Posted by Celebration
Wow...that was my exact situation! My mom was white my dad is black and I spent most of my life around my moms (white, fair, irish, straighed haired) family. They never knew what to do with my hair...and I spent too much of my life trying to get their straight hair. I've recently come to terms with my curls and learned to love them. I'm much happier...and so are my curls!!
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Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
my friends told me i should get my hair relaxed into "proper" big curls. they were all surrounding me so i was just "uhhhhh ill think about it". :x
Luckily my hair wasn't frizzy or very curly until middle school. All through elementary I had baby fine hair and soft curly ends (I wish I still did!). My parents brushed it and put in leave in conidtioner when it was wet so I never had a problem with the curls being pulled out. It started to get thick and curlier in middle school but where I live almost every girl had straight blonde hair so I started to straighten it in 6th or 7th grade and did that for 3 or 4 years. I wore it curly a couple times and got a few compliments just because it looked different but most people liked it straight better.
Now I'm the one who has problems with it and complains about it still but my friends and family seem to like it. My mom loves the curly hair and hates when I straighten it. I prefer it curly though when it actually comes out nice but I straighten once every week or two still. I'm a senior now though and I have been wearing my hair curly for 2 years now
I was never teased about my hair growing up, cause I'm only a 2a, and I thought my hair was straight with serious frizz until recently, but my baby sister, at only 2 years old, has a mass of beautiful 3b/c curls. My stepmom is ethnic, so the two little ones (brother, age 4, and sister, age 2) are multiracial, and both have really curly hair. If anyone ever tries to get my sister to tame her hair, I will be up in arms about it. I'm a curl enthusiast, and so is my best friend, so my sister will be well backed up
"A face without freckles is like a night without stars"

~Jenny
well i know exactly where everyone is comming from. I too have had my share of insults about my hair, many of the same things everyone else was called. But what gets to me is my most recent one. well about 4 months ago, a coworker saw a pic of me in my natural curls, which was a first since i used to always wear it straight. after looking at the pic and making a face, she said,

"OMG, Don't ever wear your hair like that, You look like a dirty wet mexican! I don't like that at all!"

I was shocked that she would say such harsh words, i was hurt, upset, and humiliated. The day that pic was taken, i was happy about what my hair looked like, but after her comment... well I wore my hair straight for months afterward. Recently i've decided to cherish what God gave me.

She saw me today with the same hairstyle after all this time and guess what. She proceeded to say the same thing!! -she said
"What did I tell you about that! you got that dirty wet mexican look again, don't wear it like that."
I was furious. This happened after a bunch of my other co workers gave me positive comments. So she just really tried to rain on my parade.... I basically told her "this is the way God made me, I was born this way and if you don't like it, then don't look at it." And that she don't have to say such mean things like that. ....
you know i really wanted to just throw really big rocks at her for saying that...
anyway sorry for venting so much...
people really just need to stop being so closeminded and accept people the way they are.
Lotsa 3c curls
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Updated 2009 and 2010 pics
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It's not about having what you want, it's about Wanting what you have
She saw me today with the same hairstyle after all this time and guess what. She proceeded to say the same thing!! -she said
"What did I tell you about that! you got that dirty wet mexican look again, don't wear it like that."
Originally Posted by CurlyBlasian
What the... ??? I don't know what your working relationship is like with this woman, but I would tell her that her blatantly racist comments made me extrememely uncomfortable.

EWWWWWW!!!!!
Brooklyn, NY

Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
HG products:
Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
Summer: DevaCurl No Poo & OneC; CK; Re:coil; BRHG; Honey!!!

fotki pw= crrrls
That is brutal! Incredibly racist . . . she's a straight-haired, caucasian girl, I presume? That is just ignorant . . . I'm SO glad that my dad married who he did (a black Jamaican) so I actually have some education about what will offend people of colour. I grew up in a very small town, almost entirely white population, so shortly after my dad met the woman he married, I would say things that were mildly offensive without meaning to. But I would never, EVER have said something like that! I think she should be shipped off to Mexico to live for a year, to learn that the Mexican people are human, too! Not to mention that is just plain rude, saying something like that to your face! Even if she thought that, it was totally inappropriate to say it that way. She could have just said that she prefered it straight. Oy. Some people
"A face without freckles is like a night without stars"

~Jenny
That is brutal! Incredibly racist . . . she's a straight-haired, caucasian girl, I presume?
Originally Posted by Chrematisai
Actually, surprisingly, she is black and gets relaxers to straighten her hair. so i guess she may just be jealous... i don't know.

and you're right if she thought that, it was NOT neccesary for her to say it outloud! .... though i'm not mexican I am filipino, chinese, spanish and black; it is rude and offensive to me and i'm sure to anyone who is mexican. She was totally inappropriate.
Lotsa 3c curls
Curly Journey Album
Updated 2009 and 2010 pics
Hair Journal/Products

It's not about having what you want, it's about Wanting what you have
Wow! Some people should just keep there big mouths shut!!!

Sorry that you had such an experience!



Germany Curly

Last Relaxer(Texturizer): Aug. 2005
BC: May 2006

Kind of gross...but I was watching some dating show and as soon as the guy saw the first girl he was going to have to date he said her beautiful head of short red curls looked like red pubic hair (sorry for the vulgar statement)... but omg that tore me up.
Mostly 3c and lovin' my curls

This is not a fashion trend, it's not a statement, it's pride for who we are and what we look like. And that is where our true beauty shines.


http://public.fotki.com/cocoalily/
well i know exactly where everyone is comming from. I too have had my share of insults about my hair, many of the same things everyone else was called. But what gets to me is my most recent one. well about 4 months ago, a coworker saw a pic of me in my natural curls, which was a first since i used to always wear it straight. after looking at the pic and making a face, she said,

"OMG, Don't ever wear your hair like that, You look like a dirty wet mexican! I don't like that at all!"

I was shocked that she would say such harsh words, i was hurt, upset, and humiliated. The day that pic was taken, i was happy about what my hair looked like, but after her comment... well I wore my hair straight for months afterward. Recently i've decided to cherish what God gave me.

She saw me today with the same hairstyle after all this time and guess what. She proceeded to say the same thing!! -she said
"What did I tell you about that! you got that dirty wet mexican look again, don't wear it like that."
I was furious. This happened after a bunch of my other co workers gave me positive comments. So she just really tried to rain on my parade.... I basically told her "this is the way God made me, I was born this way and if you don't like it, then don't look at it." And that she don't have to say such mean things like that. ....
you know i really wanted to just throw really big rocks at her for saying that...
anyway sorry for venting so much...
people really just need to stop being so closeminded and accept people the way they are.
Originally Posted by CurlyBlasian

UGh! if you could see the digust on my face right now... I HATE when people tell me to striaghten my hair! WTH do they know!?

:x
Mostly 3c and lovin' my curls

This is not a fashion trend, it's not a statement, it's pride for who we are and what we look like. And that is where our true beauty shines.


http://public.fotki.com/cocoalily/
"poodle head" came up recently on another board
Grown women too. I left.
You look like a dirty wet mexican! I don't like that at all!


are you kidding me! that's not only mean, but racist too! how exactly is a "dirty wet mexican" suppose to look like anyway!!??
mod. CG 2C-3A/M/iii
Fotki album and journal updated: 10/01/07
password: springlet

Currently: Trying to stop straightening so much. Using Elucence conditioner and whatever works for me.
Actually, for me it was the exact opposite. When my mom got my hair permed when I was 11 because she didn't know how to control it, it always looked messy, fuzzy, and boring. Now ever since a few weeks ago when I went curly, people keep telling me how pretty my hair is.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
One time last year in grade 7, I was standing in line in front of this girl, and she's like, whoa, look at Laura, she's got frizzy hair and grocery bags! (Keep in mind that at this time I was drowning myself in silicones and brushing my hair so there was not a lot of noticable curl, but tons of frizz) I tried to ignore her but it hurt...I didn't know how to control my hair at the time, and bags run in the family...
Not sure what type of hair I have, but it's curly!
[quote=CurlyBlasian OMG, Don't ever wear your hair like that, You look like a dirty wet mexican! I don't like that at all!"
I basically told her "this is the way God made me, I was born this way and if you don't like it, then don't look at it." And that she don't have to say such mean things like that. ....
you know i really wanted to just throw really big rocks at her for saying that...
[/quote]

If she is a co-worker and made that remark to you at work, you have every right to lodge a complaint with Human Resources. That remark is not just vicious, racist and mean; it is a serious HR violation. :x
My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
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Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
Quote:
Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
I have a Teflon personality and I'm old enought to have forgotten most of the insulting remarks Also, not too many people could top my father for hateful personal attacks so I learned to block them out.

The past few years, the remarks that stand out are from total strangers come up to me and tell me they love my hair or my hair is beautiful. It's happened like 5 times. Almost all have been men (all quite younger than me ) and they were black. Yes, there are black men out there who love natural black 3c/4a/4b ++++ hair.

I feel as though God is compensating me for putting up with a parent who absorbed so much cultural hatred and laid it down on his womenfolk. Now, if only one of these age-inappropriate men would ask me out, please?

The remarks that tend to stick are about my skin (I'm sort of frappucino with freckles) From the time Mrs. Connolly my new 3rd grade teacher, inspected my hands and told me to wash the dirt off my knuckles to people who ask me if I hurt my elbow. My elbows are dark and below one of them is a dark, rough patch of thickened skin. In the scheme of things going on in the world today, who frikkin cares :x It's amazing what people notice about other people!
My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/


Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
Quote:
Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
I've only had one bad comment on my hair, it was when I decided to straighten it one day to see what it looked like. I only got wavy/curly hair when I cut it from being past my bum to just below my shoulders, as so much weight was taken off it it curled. This was exactly what I hoped for, so I loved it.

Anyway, I walked into school and my friend Hannah came up to me and said 'Oh my GOD! You're hair looks gorgeous! So much better than normal, you should SO wear it like that every day.'

It really annoyed me, because she of course had the straightest, shinest, most smooth hair possible, and it felt so horrible straightining the wave out of my hair it was sad that someone thought it looked better that way. I am pleased to say I haven't straightened it again!
Hair type- 2c/3a

"You are who you are. You can't change that. Just go out and be it." - Evangeline Lilly

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