hurtful comments people've made about your hair

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Last edited by wild_sasparilla; 08-20-2013 at 12:59 AM.
actually i havent had anybody make fun of my hair. i went to camp just 2 weeks ago and everybody was saying how they loved it. and everybody at my schools known me for so long so theyre all used to it
(1.) When I first cut off my straightened hair, I two-strand twisted my hair and went to school. This boy that I couldn't stand (we'd always ARGUE about everything) picked an argument with me, and I said something and the only thing he could retort with was something about me having sh*t locks. I know it was just ignorant and he was mad that he couldn't come back with anything else, but here I was thinking I looked great and everything and then someone said my hair looked like sh*t.

And then there are things that aren't hurtful, but just piss me off to no end:

-I HATE when people see me in the bathroom doing my hair and they're like, "So, how do you DO that?" And I just stare at them. I try to be nice but I get so much of it...like, I'm an Alien who just cause my hair is reall thick/curly it's like, some secret to "DOING" it. I'm usually say, "Well, I wash and condition it and put gel." And then they stare at me waiting for me to continue
-This girl and I were hanging out once and I said I had to go wash my hair. And she was like, "You WASH your 'fro!?" And I said yeah. "How can you WASH your 'fro!?" "It's my HAIR. Do you wash your hair?" I told her.
-I HATE when people make dumb comments like, "Does it keep you warm in the winter?" "You probably don't even need a pillow."
-Or when they stick pens or something in it and I can't feel it. And then they tell me and think it's the funniest thing in the world.

ARGH!!! People are so ignorant of other people's differences.
MomoChan <3

Crazy mix of 3b/3c/4a, xtra thick hair. Shoulder length (when wet...hehe!)
cross post from a thread about rude retail employees, but it fits here too...

After work on Sunday, S/O and I went to a local gas station to fill up. They happen to make subs/sandwiches and whatnot there. S/O ordered hot dogs and I ordered a roast beef croissant. There were two ladies working, and one was obviously bitter about working on Christmas Eve. While I was sympathetic to an extent (I worked too after all), I didn't think that her grumbling would make her shift go any faster.

Anyway, the Bitter Lady makes S/O's first hot dog. Then she makes a second and proceeds to eat it herself. She kept saying "I'm hooongry". Well, OK....

The other lady working with her asked if she had started on my sandwich. Bitter lady said: "Who, nappyhead?" My eyes bugged out, S/O's eyes bugged out, and Nice Lady's eyes bugged out. Nice lady then makes S/O's other hot dog and my sandwich. We left and I spent 20 minutes being mad at myself for wishing that I had straight hair.
I don't why I let a comment bother me from a lady who was mad about working a holiday (because that's not all that unusual) and whose hair was relaxed to almost oblivion.
Kiva! Microfinance works.

Med/Coarse, porous curly.
cross post from a thread about rude retail employees, but it fits here too...

After work on Sunday, S/O and I went to a local gas station to fill up. They happen to make subs/sandwiches and whatnot there. S/O ordered hot dogs and I ordered a roast beef croissant. There were two ladies working, and one was obviously bitter about working on Christmas Eve. While I was sympathetic to an extent (I worked too after all), I didn't think that her grumbling would make her shift go any faster.

Anyway, the Bitter Lady makes S/O's first hot dog. Then she makes a second and proceeds to eat it herself. She kept saying "I'm hooongry". Well, OK....

The other lady working with her asked if she had started on my sandwich. Bitter lady said: "Who, nappyhead?" My eyes bugged out, S/O's eyes bugged out, and Nice Lady's eyes bugged out. Nice lady then makes S/O's other hot dog and my sandwich. We left and I spent 20 minutes being mad at myself for wishing that I had straight hair.
I don't why I let a comment bother me from a lady who was mad about working a holiday (because that's not all that unusual) and whose hair was relaxed to almost oblivion.
Originally Posted by redcelticcurls
So sorry that such a thing happened...that woman was just ignorant and rude!!!



Germany Curly

Last Relaxer(Texturizer): Aug. 2005
BC: May 2006

-I HATE when people make dumb comments like, "Does it keep you warm in the winter?" "You probably don't even need a pillow."
-Or when they stick pens or something in it and I can't feel it. And then they tell me and think it's the funniest thing in the world.
Originally Posted by MomoChan
That really is annoying the whole pillow thing, I used to get all sorts said to me particulary in like years 7-9, people used to always ask me why is your hair like that? And why don't you straighten it,people used to always ask me that but in the past year they've stopped maybe because I'm not going to straighten it for them
I used to be called fuzzy wuzzy, tumbleweed, black bush, and my hair was once compared to black sheep wool. This was all in elementary school and my mother (she is mexican and had loose waxy hair) didn't know what to do with my thick 3c/4a bi-racial hair, and she would brush it into this long frizzy mess and lather it with leave-in conditioner. The funny thing is is that I really loved my hair and thought it looked nice. And when people called me those names or came up to "see how it felt" I just shrugged them off and mistook them as compliments. In all honesty, I don't think I cared what people thought about my hair and people started picking up on it. By the end of 2nd grade people liked my long frizzy hair and I even had a "boyfriend" who complimented it and gave me presents

I really wish I had carried that attitude with me though
a lot of ppl have always made mean comments about my hair, telling me to straighten it. i used to h8t my hair because of their suggestions. but now i luv my curls. they make me feel unique and beautiful. i've realized that all the ppl that bash curly heads usually have flat boring straight hair. curly hair is the best thing a girl could have and i'm feel lucky that i'm one of those girls!=)
I hear you! I try not to remember what people actually say, but the laughs, taunts and abuse I've gotten have always hurt, even though I've come to love my hair - finally. But the worst one I do remember was from a legless drunk old whore (literally, she was an aged prostitute) on the street who had the audacity - from under smeared make-up and a mass of died black frizz on her hear - to say 'What did you do?' I screamed 'What?!' And she just said 'That hair!' I was livid!!!!
1vox
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Deleted, as per request.
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I've gotten all the generic things in my time too - poodle, Curly Sue, tumbleweed, etc. This was all when I was younger. By high school, I'd learned to tame my hair, and most people had matured to the point that they didn't say hurtful things so much (MOST, not all.)

NOW, the only negative comments I hear are from curlies! The ones who have no clue how to make their hair look good, but straighten everyday and seem to think I should do the same.
1vox
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Well, isn't this a fine greeting committee responding to my first post to the site?

Actually, EVERY version of the myth of Medusa is in line with my position. Wild_sasparilla's version is correct some of the time, but only if you stop reading the myth halfway through.

Medusa was either born a monstrous gorgon or turned into one out of jealousy. Either way, the crux of the story is that Medusa and her horrific hair of snakes are so ugly and terrifying that if someone were to look her in the eye he would turn to stone.

If you have really curly hair your whole life, not just wavy, you inadvertantly become familiar with the whole myth, because it is a convenient name to use.

This thread was about the op talking about lame, judgmental things that people have said to her because of her curyly hair, and follow-up posts commiserating in support with their own experiences. It is rather unbelieveable that someone reading this thread would take it upon herself to reinterpret a personal experience that I had, about which she only knows two sentences, and tells me that not only am I wrong, but then takes a personal dig at me as well.

wild_sasparilla, I've read your other posts on this thread too, and you seem like a self-important keystone cop challenging what everyone is saying. Go to a different thread or sit on your hands, please, or catch up on your reading. You have completely taken away the joy and excitement that I had for this site.

Well, it was nice for the first six hours anyway.
I sincerely apologize for hurting your feelings, 1vox. I hadn't realized I had that sort of tone.
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1vox
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I don't buy it, keystone cop. Here's why. After I read your first response, instead of having a flame war, I descretely sent you a private message asking you to delete my id name and the cut-n-paste copy of my initial post from your message. I also deleted my post and was going to withdraw my membership and move on to greener pastures.

I just felt that I didn't want to be a member of a site where some troll makes sport calling members on the carpet, especially on a thread where the entire point is about talking about hurtful digs. Free time is too short.

You seemed to refuse that request because I never heard from you and you never complied.

Then I read above where you were patrolling and chastising another poster for possibly using someone's real name. Pretending like discretion is very important to you--not that you have the first clue about whether she did or didn't use a fake name, would need to, or would want to.

So since you refuse to delete my message, which I now regret sharing, notwithstanding pretending that discretion is more important than the substance of anything a person has to say, I just don't believe your apology.
I don't buy it, keystone cop. Here's why. After I read your first response, instead of having a flame war, I descretely sent you a private message asking you to delete my id name and the cut-n-paste copy of my initial post from your message. I also deleted my post and was going to withdraw my membership and move on to greener pastures.

I just felt that I didn't want to be a member of a site where some troll makes sport calling members on the carpet, especially on a thread where the entire point is about talking about hurtful digs. Free time is too short.

You seemed to refuse that request because I never heard from you and you never complied.

Then I read above where you were patrolling and chastising another poster for possibly using someone's real name. Pretending like discretion is very important to you--not that you have the first clue about whether she did or didn't use a fake name, would need to, or would want to.

So since you refuse to delete my message, which I now regret sharing, notwithstanding pretending that discretion is more important than the substance of anything a person has to say, I just don't believe your apology.
Originally Posted by 1vox
The post you're talking about was my friend's name. I thought I'd posted on here about her. Maybe not, since you apparently did your research. I used the smiley evil face, too, as it was a joke. Nothing to do with discretion. Also apparently I'm a troll like many others apparently are on this site, at least as others say. I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't mean to be inflammatory - I guess my message(s) came out wrong. Please don't feel you have to go somewhere else, I certainly won't bother you. And I don't usually look for PMs since I haven't asked for any and am not an expert, and those are the only reasons I would think to check for one. I will now read the PM. In short order, your requests will be complied with. I'm sorry I didn't get to it fast enough and I'm sorry I made you so mad.
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Hey Guys...

I don't know if this post is sort of fizzled out, but I had to add my 2p.

When I was very small, my hair wasn't curly, it was thick, shiny and wavy. All my mums friends called me Liz Taylor! I loved that!!

But as I grew my hair got curly like Shirley! And when I got to 8 years old, the "fun started". We had, "bushbag", "fuzzball", "microphone head", "frizzy Lizzy".......

The worst time was when I was 13, in a new school having lunch. 4 older girls were sitting on the next table cackling. After a while I sussed that it was ME they were giggling about. Then one loudly said, "look at her, she's like a WITCH!", met with peals of laughter...

Then one time, at the same school, a boy chased after me as I walked home, stopped me, out of breath, and said, "I just wanted to tell you, you are the ugliest bas**** I have EVER seen!" He RAN to tell me this important news!!!

Of course, these people are shallow, and generally rubbish, but things like that stay with you!

I would go nuts if either of my kids said mean things like that, who raises these horrible kids????

Liz x
Here are my curly pics, password is fuzz

http://public.fotki.com/zeldagoblin/

But then again, too few to mention...
In junior high, a girl came up behind me as I sat on the bus, pretending to lean over me to look out the window. Then she ran back to her seat and giggled with her friends.

hours and hours later I found the gum she'd stuck deep in my hair. My mom had to cut it out.
When we were little kids, my younger sis(also a cg) used to call our mom the "steamroller". Mom had super straight hair, so she didn't understand how terribly painful hairbrushing could be. She used to brush our spiral locks out before every shampoo. YOUCH. After years of short hair and being told by a boy that I had a crush on that I looked like a boy with an afro, I decided in 8th grade I was never going to get another haircut EVER. But it wasn't soon enough... Pretty terrible and embarrasing to go thru your freshman year in HS looking like a boy. Especially during the '80s where long straight feathered hair RULED. Top that off with a fresh set of braces and a case of acne and there is a recipe for disaster.
I really cannot pick out any particularly aweful comments butI guess over the years I have heard the ubquitous comments here and there...
"It would be pretty if it were straight..."
"Do you want me to straighten it for you?" ( at the salon)
"I'm just gonna blow it out a little, it'll look better" ( at the salon)
"You DON"T wash your hair EVERY day?????" (friend)(salon)
You only wash your hair 2 times a week, gross" ( former aquaint)
"That stuff is for ETHNIC hair why do you use it?" (nosy straight haired lady at Walmart looking right at my dry frizzy summer hair)

Now I know better, I usually find that people that comment or stare are thoroughly ignorant about what is going on around them outside their own personal rut that they have dug themselves into.
It is just comforting to me that there is a whole crop of curlies that are REALLY sick and tired of being on the outside of what is considered pretty. And I have found that most of us are just like our hair... stubborn , unruly and have a serious problem with people telling us our hair should be straight.
Cincinnati Ohio>>>Coarse protein sensitive 3a, Jessicurl WDT as a leave in, Biotera gel, White Boots, PW= coffeecurls

"Man tries to exaggerate what nature has given him," Charles Darwin (1809-1882).

"Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful." -Sophia Loren
That gum story is truly mean! BTW I discovered years later that peanut butter makes gum roll into little balls and roll right off of your hair.

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