new guy hates my hair

Was this guy Caucasian?
Originally Posted by LipGlassHoney
yeah, he is.
Originally Posted by subbrock
Oh my. I love all people and have all types of races in my immediate family. We do not tolerate things like that. You are such a beautiful woman and I pray that you find a man, no matter his color, that will love, nurture, protect and compliment you for the beauty he saw when he met you and the beauty he sees in you heart. I admire you for your patience with him because he would have gotten kicked to the curb with a suitcase full of names to let him know how I really felt.
Black and Puerto Rican 3c Natural since '95 (15). Growing hair to waist. PJ and Certified MAC JUNKIE and a freakin' DEMOCRAT!!! Visit my other page @ www.myspace.com/LipGlassHoney
Me @ 6 mos. looking just like my son
I am ITA with the consensus-run far, run fast!
Trust us girls who have been "around the block," nothing will kill your self-esteem faster than a hyper-critical man. My father was (is) this way,and I once dated a guy like this. I was a nervous wreck by the time I got out of the relationship. My DH sees me "from the inside out," and loves me no matter what. I'm sure you'll find someone worthy of you, so unless you want to be miserable, don't give this guy a second thought.


2A, very thin,fine.
Yeah that guy's a piece of poo. And if he was trying to hit on you he was doing a terrible job of it. One, If he wants Beyonce or JLo or some other ethnic girl that fries their hair straight and has a tan so they can fit the mold then he should go find one and leave you alone. Two, you're too much woman for him. Obviously, he liked you enough to try to talk to you in the first place so why try to change your hair now? Three, doesn't he know never to make bad comments on a girl's hair? I mean come on that's as bad as a weight comment.

My b/f is white and I thought that I'd hear it from his family when they saw my hair natural and ask me a bunch of crazy sounding questions, but they didn't they all like my hair better curly and so does my b/f. Which I was happy about because I really don't like being mean to people and that's exactly what they would have forced me to do if they had made a snooty comment about my do. lol.
Thick coarse 3c/4a prone to dryness.
Staples
Aphogee 2 Step treatment
Generic Biolage Conditioning Balm
Tigi MM Conditioner
Creme of Nature Shampoo for dry hair
KCCC
Denman D3
Giovanni Direct Leave-in
SheaMoisture Leave-in
http://public.fotki.com/MsHeatherNicole/

"Make it work!"- Tim Gunn
Your hair is so cute. It looks like a bunch of slinkys. Also, you're a very pretty color. I think something's wrong with that guy.
Girl,
You have beautiful curls and you better rock them! Straight hair is SO played. On top of that, anyone can have straight hair, just flat iron it. Curly hair is not only beautiful,it's unique and what seperates you from the crowd. I went through the same drama when I grew out my relaxer from family members and co-workers but I LOVE my curls and you couldn't pay me to change them!
i met this guy recently, and he's cool and all, but he doesnt really like my hair. he says that it looks best with "tamed" curls or when its straight. so im like, "okay maybe he doesnt love my hair as much as i do, who cares? its my hair and it makes me different."

Yes, there is nothing particularly sacred about curly vs. straight hair - some people like it one way, some another and that's their right to do so, and who cares, you should wear your hair how YOU want, BUT they don't need to be telling you their opinion all the time. That's just rude. My husband likes it curly, straight and everything in between but even if he didn't like it curly, I would still wear it that way because wearing my hair straight all the time is bad for it and it is MY repsonsibility to take care of myself.

then once we were having a conversation about his old girlfriends/people he used to date and after he showed me pics of them, i told him that he could do better because all those girls were ugly. (they were! i wasnt being nasty!) then he said, they'd all probably think my hair was ugly. strike two. of course i replied with, thats a load of crap because i bet they WISH they could have naturally curly hair as cute as mine.

Well, his rude comment that time stemmed from yours. I would never criticize someone's exes like that. It makes you look insecure, jealous or b*tchy, and how would you like your ex's next girl to say that about you? You are basically questioning the guy's taste so of course he is going to get defensive and bite back...

now the straw that broke the camel's back: once again, another hair discussion and he tells me that i have "poofy" hair. of course, i say i dont mind having poofy hair because id hate to have boring straight hair like everyone else. then he says if i were to ever meet his dad, id have to "do something" with my hair (straighten it) and make sure i stay out of the sun that day. OUCH!

so i take it his dad is a racist as well as being a curl hater like his son. i think these comments might be a deal breaker....
Originally Posted by subbrock
You THINK? That sounds like HE is also a racist and I can tell you from personal experience that with regards to racism, often, as West Indians say "sheep don't have goat" ie. kids tend to be like their parents. If Papa is racist, what do you think son has been subconsciously learning at home? Do NOT get involved with anyone who is racist or has a racist family. I thjnk hair is the most minute issue in this little scenario - I see red flags of your insecurity and his bigotry.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











I think hair is the most minute issue in this little scenario - I see red flags of your insecurity and his bigotry.
Originally Posted by Amneris
ITA
We're all born mad. Some remain so.

The stay out of the sun comment is what really burns me up.

Oh boy does that make me mad.

Run as fast as you can.


My big chocolate-y husband loves me warts and all and says I look better now than when we got married. Which is clearly a bald faced lie, b/c I'm in dumpy mom-mode right now, but as the mother to his child it makes me beautiful to him in a different but equally sexy way. THAT is the kind of man worth getting your feelings hurt over.
Barely wavy mommy to a fine, silky with thready corkscrew 4 1/2yr old girl. HG's Moisture Maniac, PM The Conditioner, Cactus leave-in (original formula)"Mommy I want to look like a lion!" = hair loose and flowin'.
i met this guy recently, and he's cool and all, but he doesnt really like my hair. he says that it looks best with "tamed" curls or when its straight. so im like, "okay maybe he doesnt love my hair as much as i do, who cares? its my hair and it makes me different."

then once we were having a conversation about his old girlfriends/people he used to date and after he showed me pics of them, i told him that he could do better because all those girls were ugly. (they were! i wasnt being nasty!) then he said, they'd all probably think my hair was ugly. strike two. of course i replied with, thats a load of crap because i bet they WISH they could have naturally curly hair as cute as mine.

now the straw that broke the camel's back: once again, another hair discussion and he tells me that i have "poofy" hair. of course, i say i dont mind having poofy hair because id hate to have boring straight hair like everyone else. then he says if i were to ever meet his dad, id have to "do something" with my hair (straighten it) and make sure i stay out of the sun that day. OUCH!

so i take it his dad is a racist as well as being a curl hater like his son. i think these comments might be a deal breaker....
Originally Posted by subbrock
wha-wha-wha-??? Has he misplaced his manners? Or just completely lost his mind? Your hair is gorgeous, and so are you! I just got out of a year long relationship with a man that claims to love natural hair, but really doesn't. Everything was love until I cut off my relaxer. I guess the fangs come out when you want to be an individual. You may be single, but you're not alone girlie! :grouphug:grouphug.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGNYC
Oh y'all, that's just her crazy showing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trenellm
I guess lying on my back, in the middle of a studio, breathing and making vowel sounds for an hour for two years paid off.
...and make sure i stay out of the sun that day. OUCH!
Originally Posted by subbrock
What kind of sh*t is that to say!?!

Funny, this is the same bull that we ("African American") are fed from our own families and peers while growing up, and this ******* has the nerve to continue the legacy. Itís as if to say that if you were to "stay out of the sun" that your color would some how diminish? WTF!! He should have just asked you to wear white face. As if the hair comments werenít bad enough.
You better stay away before he whips out his whole arsenal!
3c with some 3b curls in the back (weird how that works).
I say say go meet his dad
make sure you wear your hair as big as you can get it
then embarrass him right ther in front of his family AAAAAAHAHAHA
no im joking

seriously the first negative remark about anything he has 2 say about you is the sign to STAY AWAY! nice ppl shouldnt have 2 waste their time with ignorance
...
Regardless of what his opinions are if you did not like his comments, please I beg you to not take it to heart and may I suggest to just remove yourself completely from this relationship. Mean people never change...and if you persue this relationship it will eventually escalate.

Just my suggestion.....We humans need people around us who can build us up not destroy us! By the way I LOVE your hair, it is beautiful
It sucks if he doesn't like your hair, since I've been curly again I've had a few guys say how sexy it made me look. Me and my current guy were standing outside one night and it was windy so my curls were blowing he thought they looked great...)it was just like the movies) he saidlol

Oh yeah...I got a fotki account and I have my pictures up there. I'm curlygirl78 and the password is curlz.


Does that work?
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
i met this guy recently, and he's cool and all, but he doesnt really like my hair. he says that it looks best with "tamed" curls or when its straight. so im like, "okay maybe he doesnt love my hair as much as i do, who cares? its my hair and it makes me different."

then once we were having a conversation about his old girlfriends/people he used to date and after he showed me pics of them, i told him that he could do better because all those girls were ugly. (they were! i wasnt being nasty!) then he said, they'd all probably think my hair was ugly. strike two. of course i replied with, thats a load of crap because i bet they WISH they could have naturally curly hair as cute as mine.

now the straw that broke the camel's back: once again, another hair discussion and he tells me that i have "poofy" hair. of course, i say i dont mind having poofy hair because id hate to have boring straight hair like everyone else. then he says if i were to ever meet his dad, id have to "do something" with my hair (straighten it) and make sure i stay out of the sun that day. OUCH!

so i take it his dad is a racist as well as being a curl hater like his son. i think these comments might be a deal breaker....
Originally Posted by subbrock
This guy sounds familiar. I don't know him, but in a way, I do. He is just like several of my toxic ex boyfriends. When he says this stuff to you, he is showing you his true self. Be thankful that you now know who he really is and what he is really like and now KICK HIS ASS TO THE CURB
I think it was weird of you to call his ex girlfriends ugly. Why did you do that? Even if they are ugly?

But this man is a straight up racist pig!!

I've dated a lot of white guys (I'm black) and way back in teh day when I was in college I dated a white guy who was an out and out racist and made similar nasty comments to me. Strange as it sounds its actually very easy for racist white men to still be very attracted to black women but at the same time hate them and want to put them down.

I hope you will NEVER have anything more to do this *******
he seems like a bummer. He's spending too much time telling you what to fix than praising what he loves about you!!

I dont mean to be a bragger, but my boyfriend loves my curls! which is funny because hes asian and hes surrounded by straight black hair. he actually doesnt like when i straighten my hair....mainly because it takes so long and thats less attention for him. He always tells me i look beautiful when my hair is down and full of curls! i dont really straighten anymore. his family gatherings are funny because i stick out like a sore thumb! (a sore thumb of course with a head of cute curls! )

You need to find someone who loves you curls and all!
OMG, that little *bleep*!
He gives all white people a bad name, and that "stay out of the sun" business? What a creep!!!
Someone needs to tell him that black is beautiful, and NOT just a tan. Can you imagine how long that would take? Sitting out and frying for years...
I agree with a few others - it was very mean of you to say that his exes were ugly. He was obviously attracted to them and saw something more than what was on the surface. A comment like that makes you look insecure and seem like an ugly person on the inside.

That said, he shouldn't be telling you how you should style yourself to meet his parents - unless of course you ask his opinion.
Long, blonde, 3a/mostly b hair.

I agree, it seemed to me that it was slightly a bit early in the game for u to tell him his exes were ugly, even if they were.... I'd been married to my husband for quite some time before I mentioned to him how hideous I thought his ex was. <well, she was!> But that was well after we were secure into our relationship to tell each other anything.

I also think that you should thank your lucky starts that this creep has not contacted you. He has some nerve, and you are better off without him...
Oh on how many levels is this guy wrong. He can't appreciate you now. He never will. What would happen if you had a child with him? Her hair wouldn't be acceptable either. He is a f&*#@$ horrid idiot! I'm starting to take the "i'm different" approach. I mean every girl has straight hair. So now I wear it down, curly and everywhere and people do notice it. I never wear it big, but curly yes indeed!
Curly 3a. Letting it grow, using conditioners and products that are PRO curl and not straightening thanks to NC.com.
PW: curlz

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:39 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com