Seriously- Why don't men like Curly hair?

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since everyone's sharing, i just wanted to jump in:

my first serious boyfriend said he liked my hair curly and that i looked like a different person with it straight - in a bad way. he said i looked "too sleek". however, one of the main problems in our relationship was that i am a born & raised NYC girl and he hated Manhattan. i think wearing my hair straight made him feel as if i was somehow being 'better than him', or something stupid like that.

my second serious boy-thing-pseudo-relationship guy told me that with straight hair he "didn't recognize" me and "thought it was sexier". however, he constantly told me i was sexy regardless of straight or curly. that was also a disastrous "relationship".

my third, and current person: best-guy-friend-of-five-years-basically-in-a-relationship-now-except-we're-currently-3,000 miles-apart said he thinks i'm beautiful no matter what - and i'm sure even if i shaved my head he would still think so. but on the subject of curly, he said he loves my curls, but when i feel like straightening my hair he was always good with it because as long as i was happy and felt good about myself, he was happy too.

i think that's the best... because in the end there has to be some level of physical attraction! no one actually finds every single human being (of whatever sexual preference they ascribe to) on this earth to be attractive; at least enough to have sex with/be in a relationship with. people are allowed to have preferences - however, you shouldn't start dating someone and be like "now change this specific physical (and emotional!) aspect of who you are" in regards to ANYTHING (not just hair - weight, clothing style, etc.).

i love my curls, but i also love wearing my hair straight - and i want whomever i'm with to feel the same way ( third time's the charm :3 )
3a curls - dyed red - just past shoulder length, trying to grow to my waist!

Last edited by ellaquent; 09-03-2012 at 09:14 PM.
ElleBelle, that guy was a half-wit moron. As for the rest of these ridiculous male children, they are not just lacking in smarts, they are also racist. Or am the only one who equates curls with ethnicity?
Thanks Myrna.

And yes I do agree, I think that (SADLY) a lot of people especially in the Hispanic community it seems, somehow attach curls to the African American race only, something that is incredibly ignorant. Unfortunately a lot of guys I've met that are Hispanic have pre-conceived notions about curls and they believe that based on what they've heard from their families being "black" is a bad thing?

I know this because I was born in the Dominican Republic, my family however is from Northern Spain and I was raised in the U.S. I'm from all over the place and was never raised with any sort of prejudice or complexes about hair, as a matter of fact growing up I didn't know there was really a difference between straight hair or curly or wavy, I just never thought about it to be honest. But after encountering a lot of Hispanic people I realized most views were very different from mine.

I've noticed that in DR most men if not ALL will NEVER date a girl with curls because that means she must be mixed with African, and in Dominican Republic a lot of people attempt to be as "White" as possible? Whatever that means. So you see women relaxing their hair every weekend at the salon and if you want to find a man, you're not going to with what they call (pajon) or "giant poofy mess" in English. In a lot of Hispanic communities the men's goal is to get a "white" girlfriend, or one that at least sort of looks white, so being curly haired and tan isn't the best thing I guess.

I am mixed with many races. so I don't think curls only come from Africa since there are women and men from all over the globe with curls and textures. But like you said, I do find it quite racist for guys to make comments like that about curls because the majority of the time I feel it does have some underlying pre-conception or assumption about a specific ethnicity, be it African or any other.
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Hair Type: 3B with a concoction of random 3a/3c mixed in.
Fine/Normal Texture, Oily/ Normal, Normal Porosity, No hair dyes, no chemicals, all natural.
Deep Conditioning Treatment: Honey&Coconut Conditioner mixed together for lightening and protein.

Organix Coconut Shampoo (Sulfate free)
I switch up my normal conditioners all the time.
Hi, ElleBelle:

We Jewish gals are prone to curly hair as well. So, when I read here that "guys" (that is , guys with emotionally stunted develpment) dont like curls - for whatever rationaization - yes, I do take that as ati-semitic, and I learned long ago that anti-semitism belongs in a discussion about racism.
I think that many males who do not like curls have been brainwashed by the media. Today I was looking in a catalog and I see curling iron produced waves mainly and straight hair and hardly any natural curls.One day I straightened and a male friend said, "did you do something different with your hair, you look cool?"
In the 1980s, my curls were loved by so many more and I looked "coo"l then because it was in style." But I do agree that there is also a racism connection.
Thanks Myrna.

And yes I do agree, I think that (SADLY) a lot of people especially in the Hispanic community it seems, somehow attach curls to the African American race only, something that is incredibly ignorant. Unfortunately a lot of guys I've met that are Hispanic have pre-conceived notions about curls and they believe that based on what they've heard from their families being "black" is a bad thing?

I know this because I was born in the Dominican Republic, my family however is from Northern Spain and I was raised in the U.S. I'm from all over the place and was never raised with any sort of prejudice or complexes about hair, as a matter of fact growing up I didn't know there was really a difference between straight hair or curly or wavy, I just never thought about it to be honest. But after encountering a lot of Hispanic people I realized most views were very different from mine.

I've noticed that in DR most men if not ALL will NEVER date a girl with curls because that means she must be mixed with African, and in Dominican Republic a lot of people attempt to be as "White" as possible? Whatever that means. So you see women relaxing their hair every weekend at the salon and if you want to find a man, you're not going to with what they call (pajon) or "giant poofy mess" in English. In a lot of Hispanic communities the men's goal is to get a "white" girlfriend, or one that at least sort of looks white, so being curly haired and tan isn't the best thing I guess.

I am mixed with many races. so I don't think curls only come from Africa since there are women and men from all over the globe with curls and textures. But like you said, I do find it quite racist for guys to make comments like that about curls because the majority of the time I feel it does have some underlying pre-conception or assumption about a specific ethnicity, be it African or any other.
Originally Posted by ElleBelleCurls
I've also noticed this but in the US. There's this Hispanic/African American guy that I know, and I think he's cute but I've noticed that he dates mostly white girls. It's frustrating, really. And disappointing because he's sweet and cute (I know I already said that) and nice and soft-spoken... and all of the girls he goes out with are fast with blonde/brunette straight hair and sometimes ugly (inwardly). It hurts sometimes...
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aw... I'm sorry, it sounds like your pretty into him. But to be honest with you, you really shouldn't waste your time liking/thinking about someone you know won't accept you for who and what you are, you'll just get hurt in the long run.

A lot of guys like certain "looks" on girls and most of the time they don't pay much attention to what's in her head, it's more about having arm candy. I don't know if that's the case with this particular guy but that happens to be a common situation.

As for the whole Hispanic/African guy thing, I've noticed that here in the U.S. as well, I've never lived in D.R. and I grew up amongst mostly white/asian people, later on I encountered more Hispanic and African American people and realized they had all these different prejudices with hair and skin color and what not. It was a big surprise. I was really shocked to have a "Hispanic" guy tell me that he didn't think I was attractive because I was too tan and had curly hair.

Different strokes for different folks I guess!
http://massielmancebo.wordpress.com/
Hair Type: 3B with a concoction of random 3a/3c mixed in.
Fine/Normal Texture, Oily/ Normal, Normal Porosity, No hair dyes, no chemicals, all natural.
Deep Conditioning Treatment: Honey&Coconut Conditioner mixed together for lightening and protein.

Organix Coconut Shampoo (Sulfate free)
I switch up my normal conditioners all the time.

Last edited by ElleBelleCurls; 09-05-2012 at 10:43 PM. Reason: typo
A boy and a girl were talking a stroll. They were chatting when the conversation took a turn:

Girl: There are so many things I appreciate about myself now that I hated as a child. People used to make fun of my hair when I was little and I used to wish I had straight hair like everyone else.

Boy: They made fun of your hair? Really?

Girl: Yeah, they used to call me Marge Simpson and question my race.

Boy: Well...I think your hair is beautiful.

---------------

That was my husband and me the other night. His simple and sincere compliment has stayed in my mind the past few days. I am 28 years old and those words people called me as a child have stuck with me until this day. I am just beginning to realize after all this time that my hair is not a curse, but a blessing. Someone amazing will love you for you and think you are beautiful just the way you are, don't worry about the others.
Dedachan and CurlyJulia like this.
Every time I straighten my hair (usually for special event that doesn't happen very offen), my husband complains- and can't wait for me to shower to get the curls back....
I asked,"is it because you've only dated straight haired girls?" he said, "yes".

The bf before my dh was into ethnic women and he openly would say that he liked mixed chicks- therefor he LOVED curls too.
@dummeeule

this is kinda OT but are you German?
Originally Posted by AnnieRose

Late reply, sorry.
But nope, I'm not German. I only lived in Germany a few years ago and speak a little bit.
I'm never using chemicals on my hair again.

So sad to hear all these stories of men who don't like textured hair. Weird! I've definitely noticed an increase in the attention I receive now that I embrace my wurlies. I think you ladies need to move to my area! Straightened hair has this processed quality that immediately turns me off (I like natural ladies!) and I don't know how anyone can look past a beautiful curly in favor of boring, flat hair. I guess everyone has their own preferences? :-/
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I think guys secretly like curly hair. More guys approach me when its straightened but much more stare when its curly.
MaurineF likes this.
aw... I'm sorry, it sounds like your pretty into him. But to be honest with you, you really shouldn't waste your time liking/thinking about someone you know won't accept you for who and what you are, you'll just get hurt in the long run.

A lot of guys like certain "looks" on girls and most of the time they don't pay much attention to what's in her head, it's more about having arm candy. I don't know if that's the case with this particular guy but that happens to be a common situation.

As for the whole Hispanic/African guy thing, I've noticed that here in the U.S. as well, I've never lived in D.R. and I grew up amongst mostly white/asian people, later on I encountered more Hispanic and African American people and realized they had all these different prejudices with hair and skin color and what not. It was a big surprise. I was really shocked to have a "Hispanic" guy tell me that he didn't think I was attractive because I was too tan and had curly hair.

Different strokes for different folks I guess!
Originally Posted by ElleBelleCurls
wow @ that guy telling you that you weren't attractive because of that, that's crazy. It's crazy because I live in georgia and hispanic men here are always trying to talk to and date black chicks, I've dated a few and I'm always getting hit on by them whenever I go different places. For instance in the mornings when I go to work there are some hispanic guys that work at this restaurant next to my job they're always smiling and telling me how pretty I am and that they like my hair curly .

http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlta...ily-world.html

http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlta...ve-styles.html
aw... I'm sorry, it sounds like your pretty into him. But to be honest with you, you really shouldn't waste your time liking/thinking about someone you know won't accept you for who and what you are, you'll just get hurt in the long run.

A lot of guys like certain "looks" on girls and most of the time they don't pay much attention to what's in her head, it's more about having arm candy. I don't know if that's the case with this particular guy but that happens to be a common situation.

As for the whole Hispanic/African guy thing, I've noticed that here in the U.S. as well, I've never lived in D.R. and I grew up amongst mostly white/asian people, later on I encountered more Hispanic and African American people and realized they had all these different prejudices with hair and skin color and what not. It was a big surprise. I was really shocked to have a "Hispanic" guy tell me that he didn't think I was attractive because I was too tan and had curly hair.

Different strokes for different folks I guess!
Originally Posted by ElleBelleCurls
wow @ that guy telling you that you weren't attractive because of that, that's crazy. It's crazy because I live in georgia and hispanic men here are always trying to talk to and date black chicks, I've dated a few and I'm always getting hit on by them whenever I go different places. For instance in the mornings when I go to work there are some hispanic guys that work at this restaurant next to my job they're always smiling and telling me how pretty I am and that they like my hair curly .
Originally Posted by fefe912
Wow really? All I get is whistle/cat calls from them if I wear it straight but I live in California. Idk maybe I look latina when its like that? A guy that did my make up thought I was black&mexican.

But its nice to have other cultures/people appreciate curls.
I've never had this problem. My curly hair is a man magnet. But, i do see with other curly women that their confidence changes when they straighten their hair. They're a lot more confident and idk if it's the change or what, but i think that's another factor for some men. Not all, but some may pick up on that.

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LISA LISA likes this.
Wow I never experience that. My husband hates my hair straight he always yells at me when I straighten my curls out. I always thought men like natural curly hair. I guess not
Wow I never experience that. My husband hates my hair straight he always yells at me when I straighten my curls out. I always thought men like natural curly hair. I guess not
Originally Posted by Y3ssi88
Well I've never had a boyfriend but most call calls/approaches come from total strangers.My guy friends or guys at my school don't try to talk to me like that which is confusing since guys(well they're usually older than me)outside my school approach me.
i think its all about what the man likes.
most guys have only liked me for my hair. i think guys actually like it because its different
i think its all about what the man likes.
most guys have only liked me for my hair. i think guys actually like it because its different
Originally Posted by curlyfriess
I have always been more likely to compliment on curly hair.
fefe912 likes this.

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