Seriously- Why don't men like Curly hair?

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LOL Myrna!

I found an article from a while ago, by a guy who describes what he thinks men think about curly hair, and hair in general:

"Mind Of Man: If You Have Curly Hair, You Should Read This"

Just a footnote: I also like his corrective comment about so-called "ethnic hair". I've also always found that term to be a silly, nonsensical, elitist descriptor.
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Yah, Korkscrew, my former stylist said I had "ethnic" hair. That was years ago and was the first time I heard it said. At the time, I thought, does that mean I have Jewish hair? Hispanic hair? does "ethnic" hair mean we all shop for products in the section of the drug store reserved for women and men of color??

Yikes. On the other hand, a former client of mine said that her sister thought I look like a small gypsy, and I said, "That is a HIGH compliment!"
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My grandmother was a citizen of Romania but it's unsure if she had actual Romi (gypsy) ancestry LOL ... Those folks have one hell of a bad reputation, unfortunately. Anyway, I've also heard that I look like a gypsy but not sure what it means

Yeah, "ethnic hair" is one of those "us" versus "them" maneuvers LOL Seems like it just means "non-white" IMO - a pukoliciously cowardly way of trying to say it.

[Off-topic tangent]But whites aren't the only ones who create labels that are separatist IMO ... Like the term "African American". I don't like that one either. You live in America. Of course you're American. What's so hard about just saying you're African? You don't hear German or Irish citizens of the US saying they're "German American" or "Irish American" unless their fresh off the boat.[/Off-topic tangent]
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Wait!! Gypsies are a culture. There are Gypsies from all over, but I believe most are from Romania, and speak Rom. But, I believe there are Indian gypsies, Irish (and British Isles) gypsies, Hungarian, etc. there is a wonderful book called "Bury Me STanding (Ive Spent my Life on my Knees)" about the Rom culture..sorry I got off topic, but it is a fascinating book.
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Sure, "gypsy" essentially just means "nomad". I just mentioned the Romi people because it seems that's typically who is being talked about when speaking of gypsies (but I'm probably wrong, as it is an ASSumption). Yeah, the Romis are an admixture of Indian (North Indian) and European ancestry, to the best of my knowledge.

That book ... I'm going to go to Amazon sometimes today and see if I can have a peek inside at an excerpt or two, maybe put it on my wish list
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[Off-topic tangent]But whites aren't the only ones who create labels that are separatist IMO ... Like the term "African American". I don't like that one either. You live in America. Of course you're American. What's so hard about just saying you're African? You don't hear German or Irish citizens of the US saying they're "German American" or "Irish American" unless their fresh off the boat.[/Off-topic tangent]
Originally Posted by Korkscrew
That was weird. :-/
I don't really get what you're trying to say here.
Why should black americans refer to themselves as "African"? That makes no sense to me.
No, not weird at all. Logical. And I was hoping not to get long-winded about it, but, oh well. When describing ethnicity (rather than nationality), the only ethnically "American" people are those who have indigenous American ancestry (Native Americans). And contrary to public claims, most African people (and Euros and most others) in America, don't have NA ancestry (according to Dr. Gates's extensive DNA profiles, at least).

The second group that would logically hyphenate with "American" would be recent immigrants to the US (to differentiate themselves from those who might be mistaken as non-US citizens, because of foreign accents, customs, etc.). ... Another exception is when you want to differentiate a European from Europe, from a European from America (or the equivalent for some other ethnic group - an African from America (AA) from an African from the Sudan (AS) ).

So there is no need for anyone with African or European or (fill in the blank) ancestry to say anything more than they are "African" (or black or whatever ancestral descriptor/s that's preferred), or European (or white or " " ), etc. re: ethnicity. If asked about nationality, then yeah, they are all "American".

Notice you don't typically hear second, third or fourth generation Europeans who are US citizens redundantly stating they are "Swiss Americans", or "British Americans" when asked about ethnicity (arguably, because they feel fully entitled or fully accepted as American citizens from the start) No, they're just Swiss and British. It usually ends up being minority groups that unnecessarily and inaccurately add "American" as an ethnic identifier, then whites follow suit and describe them as such too.

But minorities shouldn't expect themselves to have to openly proclaim their (usually) obvious American citizenry when living in the US. And I get the sneaking suspicion some people are a little uncomfortable just calling themselves "African". Yes, I said some, and I have relatives and friends who seem to fit that profile.

I used to state my ethnicity as "African American" and European. Now I say something like African and European, or sometimes get more specific. And my nationality is American.

That said, I do NOT correct ppl when they self-describe however they very well want because everyone gets to define themselves as they'd like, regardless of my opinion about any of it. Sorry dear OP for twisting your thread into a knot.
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Last edited by Korkscrew; 03-14-2013 at 03:57 PM.
Oh, ok thanks for that long reply!
I am not American so I'm interested in this whole topic.
It's nonsense guys don't like curly hair. Just like it is nonsense that ALL guys like big breasts and blond hair. It's just about taste. I actually get quite a lot of compliments from men about my curly hair.

Maybe in the media you'll find a lot of celebritys with straight hair. But that isn't a 'proof' that all men like straight hair better over curly hair. Maybe it's just that hairextrensions are easier to do with straight hair (almost every celebrity has extensions), or maybe just because of fashion? And how much do most guys give about fasion? Just saying..
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I do not want to derail the conversation but would like to respectfully disagree that Black Americans/African Americans should just say their ethnicity is African. It seems like such a blanket term to me. When someone says they are African or whatever I also tend to think that is how they culturally identify, as in they are familiar with that culture. Also Africa is a huge continent and there are many many different ethnic groups in their many different countries. The same with China, as was beautifully shown during the Olympics, they have many many different ethnic groups as well, with their own traditions and culture.

I do have issues with the term African-American though. It is "othering" in my opinion. Why not just Black? I find people use the term to mean Black anyway, which I also find annoying. Like, "yes this person is black but you don't know their cultural background so don't assume they identify as African-American. They could be from the Caribbean for all you know" .
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I don't think it has a lot to do with texture, but rather condition. And the truth is, curly hair is much more likely to get frizzy/poofy/dry than straight hair. That's just reality. My guy friends usually swoon over a well kept head of wavy or curly hair, and they don't like damaged, frazzled straight hair. And then a few just have their own personal preferences, but I think overall, men simply like smooth, shiny hair.


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I don't think it has a lot to do with texture, but rather condition. And the truth is, curly hair is much more likely to get frizzy/poofy/dry than straight hair. That's just reality. My guy friends usually swoon over a well kept head of wavy or curly hair, and they don't like damaged, frazzled straight hair. And then a few just have their own personal preferences, but I think overall, men simply like smooth, shiny hair.


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Originally Posted by seamelody14
Exactly. Some men just have a preference...like my boyfriend just prefers curls. But most men just want it to look shiny and touchable. That's all. The rest isn't a concern and with curly hair, our hair doesn't always look like that. I just agree 100% with you.

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I don't think it has a lot to do with texture, but rather condition. And the truth is, curly hair is much more likely to get frizzy/poofy/dry than straight hair. That's just reality. My guy friends usually swoon over a well kept head of wavy or curly hair, and they don't like damaged, frazzled straight hair. And then a few just have their own personal preferences, but I think overall, men simply like smooth, shiny hair.


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Originally Posted by seamelody14
Exactly. Some men just have a preference...like my boyfriend just prefers curls. But most men just want it to look shiny and touchable. That's all. The rest isn't a concern and with curly hair, our hair doesn't always look like that. I just agree 100% with you.

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Originally Posted by DepressedCurls
Yes! This what I was trying to say. Guys dot hate curls. I think they hate product and crunch and hard hair- and, really.... Don't we, too?
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I don't think it has a lot to do with texture, but rather condition. And the truth is, curly hair is much more likely to get frizzy/poofy/dry than straight hair. That's just reality. My guy friends usually swoon over a well kept head of wavy or curly hair, and they don't like damaged, frazzled straight hair. And then a few just have their own personal preferences, but I think overall, men simply like smooth, shiny hair.


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Originally Posted by seamelody14
Exactly. Some men just have a preference...like my boyfriend just prefers curls. But most men just want it to look shiny and touchable. That's all. The rest isn't a concern and with curly hair, our hair doesn't always look like that. I just agree 100% with you.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using CurlTalk App
Originally Posted by DepressedCurls
Yes! This what I was trying to say. Guys dot hate curls. I think they hate product and crunch and hard hair- and, really.... Don't we, too?
Originally Posted by Luuuuucy
Yes, we do. I mean, healthy is always better. And as far as hair goes...none of those say health. Thats it!

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No problem! Is that your hair in your icon? If so, WOW. It's just gorgeous.
Originally Posted by Korkscrew
Oh, I wish it was!
It's Julia Sarr-Jamois
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I do not want to derail the conversation but would like to respectfully disagree that Black Americans/African Americans should just say their ethnicity is African. It seems like such a blanket term to me. When someone says they are African or whatever I also tend to think that is how they culturally identify, as in they are familiar with that culture. Also Africa is a huge continent and there are many many different ethnic groups in their many different countries. The same with China, as was beautifully shown during the Olympics, they have many many different ethnic groups as well, with their own traditions and culture.

I do have issues with the term African-American though. It is "othering" in my opinion. Why not just Black? I find people use the term to mean Black anyway, which I also find annoying. Like, "yes this person is black but you don't know their cultural background so don't assume they identify as African-American. They could be from the Caribbean for all you know" .
Originally Posted by Antonia
LOL ... Yeah, I made the mistake of STARTING this derail because this is one of those pet peeves for me. The OP hasn't stepped in yet so I guess it's okay for me to reply to your response (??)

The quickest way to convey what I'm saying: If someone has both African and Native American ancestry, then sure, they are ethnically African-American. But most Africans who have American citizenry are not ETHNICALLY "African-American" (with a hyphen) because most - despite widespread memes - do not have Native American ancestry. No, their ethnicity is predominately African (often with a small % European ethnic ancestry mixed in) and they are American by way of citizenry. ... Same scenario holds for American citizens from any other ethnic group. Unless you are ethnically German and Native Indian, your ethnicity is NOT German-American. It's German, and you are an American citizen.

It has nothing to do with how big or small the continent or country of ethnic origin is, and yes, it is "othering", as you creatively put it (I like that term), because it leads to a separatist mindset, even though one positive intention with the term AA is to make Africans more psychologically visible as American citizens IMO.
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Last edited by Korkscrew; 03-18-2013 at 05:46 PM.
No problem! Is that your hair in your icon? If so, WOW. It's just gorgeous.
Originally Posted by Korkscrew
Oh, I wish it was!
It's Julia Sarr-Jamois
Originally Posted by AnnieRose
What incredible hair she has ... Thanks for posting this.

(I'm sure your hair is great too LOL)
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My husband is from Canada and there are few "African Americans" there. He says dark skinned people are "Canadians" or "black".
I don't think it has a lot to do with texture, but rather condition. And the truth is, curly hair is much more likely to get frizzy/poofy/dry than straight hair. That's just reality. My guy friends usually swoon over a well kept head of wavy or curly hair, and they don't like damaged, frazzled straight hair. And then a few just have their own personal preferences, but I think overall, men simply like smooth, shiny hair.


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Originally Posted by seamelody14
That is a great point and so true! Once I hit my 20's and stopped brushing my hair dry, I had long curly (only slightly frizzy hair). I used to get lots of positive comments about my hair ranging from: "I love your hair" to "With your hair long and curly like that, you look like an Earth Mama!" I loved that one! Granted, I did not have a plethora of boy friends, but most of my guy friends liked my hair. My hubby loves my hair too. He says there is a sexiness to it and it is deceptively soft and touchable. He also thinks it goes with my spunky/quirky personality.
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