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Old 06-22-2008, 07:43 PM   #21
 
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Sounds like you've already made a decision about what to do, but I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents worth.

DH couldn't care less how I wear my hair. If I'm happy with it and don't spend hours in the bathroom (like I did with flat-ironed hair), he doesn't care. I think that's how it should be. It's your time to fight nature. He should love you regardless of what you do with your hair, and if he's got a problem with it, you're better off without him.

My ex-husband (the one with the small willie - I always work that in whenever he is mentioned) HATED my curly hair. He also hated my clothes, my hair color, my friends, and pretty much everything about me. My point (other than bringing up the small willie) is that it isn't worth changing yourself to make someone else happy. Be true to yourself (and your hair!), and the men will follow.
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Old 06-23-2008, 01:05 AM   #22
 
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i'm a 20 year old guy, and like I posted in another thread...the girl in this video is SO gorgeous to me...and the curls are a huge part of it....a lil exotic. Now i'm not married, and I'm still single...but curly hair isn't considered a "liability" for me. I do understand what you are saying though; some guys prefer straight hair because curly hair can tend to exude a sense of independence...which is sometimes intimidating for some dudes. But i don't think it's as bad as you think as a lot of guys like some curls
My 2 cents.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE7uc9Q7GE8

If done right, curls are very sexy.

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Old 06-23-2008, 03:15 AM   #23
 
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Be true to yourself (and your hair!), and the men will follow.
I love that quote
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Old 06-23-2008, 06:27 AM   #24
 
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I honestly don't care what men think. That's one nice thing about getting older and being married--I don't have to worry about being attractive to anyone except my dh!
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Old 06-23-2008, 06:40 AM   #25
 
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i'm a 20 year old guy, and like I posted in another thread...the girl in this video is SO gorgeous to me...and the curls are a huge part of it....a lil exotic. Now i'm not married, and I'm still single...but curly hair isn't considered a "liability" for me. I do understand what you are saying though; some guys prefer straight hair because curly hair can tend to exude a sense of independence...which is sometimes intimidating for some dudes. But i don't think it's as bad as you think as a lot of guys like some curls
My 2 cents.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE7uc9Q7GE8

If done right, curls are very sexy.
Guys view curly hair as more independent? Interesting.

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I pretty much agree with everyone else. If he doesn't like you for you, then it's time to go. I would suggest talking to him first before you just up and leave.

The whole independent thing caught my eye because I have heard this quite a few times. I guess it plays into that whole control thing. Some guys want to control their women. There are still some men who won't have anything to do with a woman, not just because of the way she looks, but because she might just be a little better than him. Men are all about their egos. If they see a woman who is doing her own thing, they get intimidated. Some men want a woman that is easy to control sort of speak. I guess if a man sees a woman with curly hair, or doing a style that is against what is popular at the moment, they take her as independent.

There's nothing wrong with being independent, though. It just means you are able to think for yourself. If I were you, I would talk to your boyfriend about how damaging straightening your hair can be. Ask him if he wants you to end up with broken off unhealthy hair because he wants you to have straight hair. That should change his mind.

I'm glad that I have a boyfriend who loves my 4a hair. I just took some straight weave out of my head and he begged me not to put it back on, lol.
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Old 06-23-2008, 10:21 AM   #26
 
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I find your comment interesting too, baydestrian. I think it proves opposites attract. At least as far as looks go. My husband's hair has always been very fine, straight and thin. Now that he's older, he has very little of it. He's always been envious of my thick, curly hair. He loves it. Of course I love his baby hair!
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Old 06-23-2008, 01:15 PM   #27
 
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At least for me, I don't really fall for the independent "BS"...i think it's a stereotype that's been around, and some guys unfortunately fall for it's false facade. For example, if I had straight hair, I'd probably be more attacted to a girl with curls. It's just like how I am with everything else in life..."I want what I can't have." haha.

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I find your comment interesting too, baydestrian. I think it proves opposites attract. At least as far as looks go. My husband's hair has always been very fine, straight and thin. Now that he's older, he has very little of it. He's always been envious of my thick, curly hair. He loves it. Of course I love his baby hair!
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Old 06-23-2008, 01:20 PM   #28
 
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[QUOTE=I do understand what you are saying though; some guys prefer straight hair because curly hair can tend to exude a sense of independence...which is sometimes intimidating for some dudes. But i don't think it's as bad as you think as a lot of guys like some curls
My 2 cents.

Wow, I've never heard anything like that before. I had no idea wearing your hair curly sent so many messages. I just never paid it that much attention. It was straight b/c you wanted it straight, curly cuz you wanted it curly, etc.
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Old 06-23-2008, 07:03 PM   #29
 
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You know what guys, as weird as it sounds this isn't the first time I"ve heard that curly haired women come off as being independent! Maybe its the fact that curly hair is so wild and untamed that it reflects on the person and that isn't good for men who want to control their women? Really strange how something as your hair can translate into someone being "uncontrollable".
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Old 06-23-2008, 07:06 PM   #30
 
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LoloDSM I'm glad small willie guy is now your EX husband
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Old 06-23-2008, 07:54 PM   #31
 
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I am the only naturally curly girl I know. Its actually really funny, ,y one friend has long beautiful blonde straight hair and she always tells me i need to straighten it. One time she got tired of having to blow it out every morning or straighten it so she just started putting products in it to make it wavy. She walked into school and people asked if she was okay or if she slept in late this morning. I just laughed at her. I'm like see your hair is a part of who you are. When you change it people think something is wrong, so stop getting at me to straighten mine!
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Old 06-23-2008, 08:42 PM   #32
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My current boyfriend always jokes and says "ahh my hands are stuck" whenever he puts his hands in my hair. When I straighten my hair my boyfriend is like "yes! I love straight, I don't like curly..." Funny thing is he met me as a curly and has the nerve to say something about it? I am angered...
I must say, if every time my husband put his hands in my hair he made to make a smart-a-s-s remark like "ahh my hands are stuck", I would start to really, really, really, slowly but surely, hate him.

This guy is telling you he doesn't like curly. You can spend your life straightening your hair for him (what will you do when it's humid?). Does he have straight hair? Tell him you really prefer guys with curls and see what his reaction is.
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Old 06-24-2008, 08:16 AM   #33
 
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If I am ever dating a guy who says he doesn't like curly hair I'll tell him I don't like body hair (which I really don't) and tell him he needs to wax EVERYTHING. We'll see how long his asshat comments last.
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Old 06-24-2008, 11:19 AM   #34
 
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My ex-husband (the one with the small willie - I always work that in whenever he is mentioned)
BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Do you think he was trying to compensate for something.... ROFLMYAO!!!
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Old 06-28-2008, 12:14 AM   #35
 
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This Thread is too funny!
My ex boyfriend hated my curly hair. He always wanted it straight. I finally dumped him because I met someone who treated me better. My current boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now and I met him when my hair was straight. He was the one who convinced me to go au-natural because everytime I wore my hair curly his eyes would light up and I'd get more compliments from him! So, he inspired me and doesn't even make fun of me making flaxseed gel potions or 8 hour henna treatments!! This is a real man, who treats a CG right!! It's true, the real men will follow if you are true to yourself!
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Old 07-11-2008, 01:43 PM   #36
 
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if a guy outright insults your curly hair and makes you feel bad about your beautiful & natural curls, dump him. why go out with a guy who only cares what you look like?

if you're looking for a boyfriend who likes your hair curly, don't ever straighten it. He'll see that's who you are and if he doesn't like it, then he'll leave. and if that's why he's leaving you, then good riddance.
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Old 07-11-2008, 10:42 PM   #37
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well once again the only people that have ever called my hair ugly because its curly were girls. Guys might not be nice to girls with curly hair but that doesnt mean that girls are nice to guys with curly hair.
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Old 07-12-2008, 09:28 AM   #38
 
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I don't know what "men" you are speaking of but I have never met a man who did not love my curly hair. In fact, I married one and he was the one who convinced me once and for all to go curly. He loves my wild curly mane and he told later on that he put up with me when I use to straighten it because he thought that it made me happy but when he found out that it didn't then he was like well I hope you are not doing it for me because I have always wanted the curly hair!

Seriously, life is too short to be with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself.
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Old 07-12-2008, 12:59 PM   #39
 
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All my life I worked with men at my dad's shop. When I straightened my hair in high school, they all went nuts. Then I started dating one of them and we dated on and off for about 4 years. He hated my hair. Every time I saw him I had to make sure it was straight because it was easier than arguing with him. It ALWAYS came up. After I was finally rid of him, I decided the next guy I dated was going to like my curls. And that's what happened - my current SO loves my curls. LOVES THEM. I've just started this CG thing and so he's noticed that I've kind of started obsessing over my hair. He tells me all the time now that he loves my hair and always has. I've straightened it twice in the 3 years we've been dating, and each time, he told me he preferred it curly. I knew he was a keeper. The men are out there, you just have to know what you want.
Talk to your current bf. If he doesn't pipe down, ditch him. The curlies are right - don't settle for someone who doesn't like you for who you are.
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Old 07-12-2008, 01:37 PM   #40
 
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Haha, I'm only transitioning from a relaxer (5 months) but I wear my hair in curly styles now instead of constantly straighting it. I must say, I know what you mean, going to a preppy boarding school in New Hampshire, but that's not what I've dealt with at all. In fact, my boyfriend once saw me after I washed my hair, and asked me why I didn't wear it curly/poofy all the time. It really made me consider the reasons why I still straighten my hair, for whom, and what I benifit from it (which was next to nothing ). So here I am, embracing my curls for what they are!My boyfriend loves it way more than my straight hair.

It really depends on the guy I think. Some guys aren't really exposed to curlies, like my own boyfriend who is Asian. Because of that, I think they fall for alot of social misconceptions, or come to their own simplistic conclusions. So there are two ways they can go... fear/don't understand why we are this way (or would want to be), or like my boyfriend, find it amazingly beautiful. There are tons of guys that think the 2nd, you just have to find them. : D
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Last edited by Karua12; 07-12-2008 at 01:58 PM.
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