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-   -   Seriously- Why don't men like Curly hair? (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/hall-shame-discussion/48713-seriously-why-dont-men-like-curly-hair.html)

mdderm 06-22-2008 02:56 AM

Seriously- Why don't men like Curly hair?
 
This is a topic that I find very frustrating because I have no idea as to why this is. The boyfriends that I've had just hated my hair curly. My current boyfriend always jokes and says "ahh my hands are stuck" whenever he puts his hands in my hair. My ex hated how curly hair looks and actually made it completely clear when I wore it curly to university once. It seems like whatever guy I meet doesn't like curly hair. I probably know like 2 who actually like curly hair out of like 50 guys I know. It really annoys me because I don't think it looks bad. If you tell me the only reason guys like straight hair is because they can put their fingers through it, is just being unreasonable. You can put fingers in curly hair just be more gentle. When I straighten my hair my boyfriend is like "yes! I love straight, I don't like curly..." Funny thing is he met me as a curly and has the nerve to say something about it? I am angered...:laughing7:

Riot Crrl 06-22-2008 03:47 AM

Uh... well, first, I don't think "gayness" has anything to do with it. In fact, some of the biggest fans of curly hair on women that I know are gay men.

curlylaura 06-22-2008 04:03 AM

Why are you going out with men that don't like a physical aspect of you? How long into the relationship do they let you know that they don't like your hair?

Tell them to sod off.

tulipan 06-22-2008 04:11 AM

Tell your boyfirend that you don't like his curls in some places and you can borrow him flat iron to straigh this;)

30isthenewblack 06-22-2008 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mdderm (Post 619998)
This is a topic that I find very frustrating because I have no idea as to why this is. The boyfriends that I've had just hated my hair curly. My current boyfriend always jokes and says "ahh my hands are stuck" whenever he puts his hands in my hair. My ex hated how curly hair looks and actually made it completely clear when I wore it curly to university once. It seems like whatever guy I meet doesn't like curly hair. I probably know like 2 who actually like curly hair out of like 50 guys I know. It really annoys me because I don't think it looks bad. If you tell me the only reason guys like straight hair is because they can put their fingers in it is just gay. You can put fingers in curly hair just be more gentle! When I straighten my hair my boyfriend is like "yes! I love straight, I don't like curly..." Funny thing is he met me as a curly and has the nerve to say something about it? I am angered...:laughing7:

I think it's all about personal preferences. Some men like blondes and others prefer brunettes. I've always dated men who liked exotic looking women with curly hair. I would be angered as well if my boyfriend said that to me especially when he met you when you had curly hair. He should accept you & love you as you are.

I could never be with someone who said they didn't like curly hair. I know women who have curly hair & their husbands prefer straight hair & I honestly don't know how they married them knowing that. It's one thing to be young & single & be able to maintain straight hair but it's another to be married, holding a full time job & looking after children & finding enough time to put lipstick on in the morning.

30

30isthenewblack 06-22-2008 04:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tulipan (Post 620003)
Tell your boyfirend that you don't like his curls in some places and you can borrow him flat iron to straighten this;)

Hilarious .... I think your English is just fine :wink:

cympreni 06-22-2008 09:13 AM

I haven't actually ran across a lot of men who hate curly hair. Personally for me, it would be a dealbreaker, so maybe that's why. To me, someone telling me I need to start straightening is no different then someone saying I need plastic surgery. Someone asking me once to straighten, I say a big no, and forget it, but if it keeps coming up, or they were to say they don't like my curls, then I'm gone. Curly hair is part of who I am, physically and psychologically. So it's like saying there's a big a part of me that they don't like. And I am who I am, love me for it, or move on.

CurlyCanadian 06-22-2008 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curlylaura (Post 620000)
Why are you going out with men that don't like a physical aspect of you? How long into the relationship do they let you know that they don't like your hair?

Thats what I'm wondering? How can you date someone that is so outspoken about something he doesn't like about you? I could see if you smoked, or drank too much, but your hair?

When I met my ex, he had a goatee. LOVED it on him, but then he shaved it off one day. I told him I preferred the goatee, but I would never bring it up more than once or harp on it.

I think its one thing to compliment your straight hair (obviously what he likes more) but he shouldn't complain about your curls...thats just rude!

michikob 06-22-2008 10:15 AM

I thought that more people are starting to wear their hair curly...well wavy at least. My friend used to straighten it every single day, then when she just left it in waves people said how they loved it! Maybe waves are more accepted then curls and kinks...but don't worry we'll be next!!!!!

mdderm 06-22-2008 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Riot Crrl (Post 619999)
Uh... well, first, I don't think "gayness" has anything to do with it. In fact, some of the biggest fans of curly hair on women that I know are gay men.

haha...I didn't mean it literally!

mdderm 06-22-2008 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curlylaura (Post 620000)
Why are you going out with men that don't like a physical aspect of you? How long into the relationship do they let you know that they don't like your hair?

Tell them to sod off.

You have a point. One of the first times I ever talked to him he asked me if I ever straighten my hair. However this to me didn't seem like him dissing my hair - it was a question. The 2 years I've been with him its only now that its starting to bug me since I wear it curly a lot more now. I have realized its really important for someone to like me for me - hair and all and maybe its time for a change of relationship. How much are you supposed to compromise in a realtionship? Sigh...break ups are complicated...

AdriaCroft 06-22-2008 11:10 AM

Im quite lucky my hair was curly when I met my husband, and he loved it. But i straightened it for my wedding day, god knows why because I regret it.

I then straightened my hair almost continously from 2003 to may 2008 now I have embraced my curls and I can't imagine going back to straight hair, my husband says that he prefers my curls that they make me look more friendly! lol

To celebrate 5 years of being married we are having a blessing ceremony while on our cruise and my husband wants me to wear my hair curly.

So I would say make sure that you get a man that loves you for you because you are going to be saying hello first thing in the morning for a good many years.

lionese 06-22-2008 01:09 PM

I agree with lexygirl. My husband and I have been married 23 yrs. He always says he loves my curly hair. Says I look like a lioness(that's where I got my username). If a man loves you, he'll love your beautiful "mane" too! If he doesn't, time to move on.

LatinaCurls 06-22-2008 01:47 PM

Oh, the irony. When I met my husband, I'd had my hair chemically straightened. My hair was one of the things he'd noticed about me, b/c it was long and thick, he thought it was really pretty. I got tired of the straight hair, though, and started styling it curly every once in a while. He told me he PREFERED my curls.

I also have a hard time understanding why he met you as a curly, but gives you a hard time about your curls. My guess is that he really likes YOU, and you probably shouldn't break off the relationship for it. BUT I would definitely talk to him. Ask him why he started dating you if your curls bothered him so much. Explain that your curls are a part of who you are, and when he complains about them, it makes you feel really bad. If after having a sincere talk with him, he still harrasses you, then I would take it as a sign that he doesn't care how he makes you feel. Only then would I start thinking about whether or not it was a relationship for me.

jillipoo 06-22-2008 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curlylaura (Post 620000)
Why are you going out with men that don't like a physical aspect of you? How long into the relationship do they let you know that they don't like your hair?

Tell them to sod off.

Well said. If a guy wants you, he needs to want all of you -- not just selected parts. Trust me -- you will find a guy who adores you and your curly hair. Dump any guy who doesn't so you can keep the pathway open for the good guys!

Jeez. It's right up there with jerks with wear "No fat chicks" T-shirts. So damn ignorant.

toothfairy 06-22-2008 02:04 PM

I've met plenty of men who like curls. my fiance prefers my hair curly rather than straight..

curls are sexier, imo.

AG. 06-22-2008 02:50 PM

Quote:

Why don't men like Curly hair?

Because most men are being told what they're supposed to like (by pop society and the media)?


.

jillipoo 06-22-2008 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ag_613 (Post 620443)
Quote:

Why don't men like Curly hair?
Because most men are being told what they're supposed to like (by pop society and the media)?

YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!

mdderm 06-22-2008 03:50 PM

Thanks so much guys, I guess I was just frustrated but now I really feel a lottt better. I will talk to my boyfriend...

LoloDSM 06-22-2008 08:08 PM

Sounds like you've already made a decision about what to do, but I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents worth.

DH couldn't care less how I wear my hair. If I'm happy with it and don't spend hours in the bathroom (like I did with flat-ironed hair), he doesn't care. I think that's how it should be. It's your time to fight nature. He should love you regardless of what you do with your hair, and if he's got a problem with it, you're better off without him.

My ex-husband (the one with the small willie - I always work that in whenever he is mentioned) HATED my curly hair. He also hated my clothes, my hair color, my friends, and pretty much everything about me. My point (other than bringing up the small willie) is that it isn't worth changing yourself to make someone else happy. Be true to yourself (and your hair!), and the men will follow. :tongue5:


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