Mexican Curly

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  • 1 Post By AngularScience
  • 1 Post By lionese
  • 1 Post By Petal

maybe I just need to vent. I have very thick mid length 3c curls and I am mexican-american. my family comes from a part of mexico where there was slave trading in the 1700's and everybody just sort of mixed up with everybody else. I just hate that people assume i am a whole slew of other things. it's not bad, people have given me wonderful compliments and sometimes i love that I am never categorized. i do get compliments on an almost weekly basis even. i suppose that i am just complaining/griping/thinking too much about my hair. because of my curly hair i don"t look the way that i am "supposed to" look being mexican. i am very proud of my culture and active in the community, but often get odd looks because i am relaxer free for 3 yrs. and wear my hair the way that it grows out of my head.
thanks for listening.
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You sound fine and your hair sounds beautiful, and people who say things to you sometimes sound like they have got their own issues.
Question: how exactly is a Mexican "supposed" to look? To me, it seems like the stereotyping that East Indians face--India's such a diverse country that it has people of so many different skin colors and hair/eye types. I'm assuming Mexican (and Latin American countries) are similar to that, meaning there has been so much mixing through the years that there's no unified look for those nationalities. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
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maybe I just need to vent. I have very thick mid length 3c curls and I am mexican-american. my family comes from a part of mexico where there was slave trading in the 1700's and everybody just sort of mixed up with everybody else. I just hate that people assume i am a whole slew of other things. it's not bad, people have given me wonderful compliments and sometimes i love that I am never categorized. i do get compliments on an almost weekly basis even. i suppose that i am just complaining/griping/thinking too much about my hair. because of my curly hair i don"t look the way that i am "supposed to" look being mexican. i am very proud of my culture and active in the community, but often get odd looks because i am relaxer free for 3 yrs. and wear my hair the way that it grows out of my head.
thanks for listening.
Originally Posted by lachicacurly
I understand completely! Our culture can sometimes be very judgmental, especially about looks, and almost cruel sometimes (think of the nicknames our nanas give us - I was "Cachetona" and my brother was "Gordito", never our right names).

I'm on another side of the spectrum - while I have dark hair and eyes, I'm a light-skinned olive. People actually ask me "What are you?", especially given my married last name. This question comes from people of all color, but in my experience, fellow Chicanos are the most judgmental, like they don't believe my grandparents all came from Mexico. I, too, love and am proud of my heritage, and it's confusing and hurtful to be excluded or overlooked because I don't look like one would expect.

I guess this rant is mostly because my kids bear this as well. My son has my dark hair color with hazel eyes, and my daughter has light brown hair, light olive skin, and green eyes. With their father's German last name, no one ever thinks they are Hispanic, but they associate themselves with my family's culture. And they speak better Spanish than I do.

Can't we all just get along?!

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Question: how exactly is a Mexican "supposed" to look? To me, it seems like the stereotyping that East Indians face--India's such a diverse country that it has people of so many different skin colors and hair/eye types. I'm assuming Mexican (and Latin American countries) are similar to that, meaning there has been so much mixing through the years that there's no unified look for those nationalities. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
Originally Posted by AngularScience
I'll give you an example: I have several aunts, but the two oldest ones were only two years apart. One was fair-skinned with light hair and eyes but not extraordinary looking, the other was far more beautiful but with darker skin and dark hair and eyes. My grandmother (from Guadalajara) told my darker aunt that she may as well not even bother looking for a husband because she was "too dark." Of course, my aunt ignored my grandmother.

From what I understand, this type of prejudice exists still in Mexico - the lighter the skin, hair, and eyes, the more desirable the person.

Mexico is a nation of immigrants, like the United States: From Spain, from Germany, and a large community of Chinese immigrants in Mexico City to name a few. So from that perspective, there is no one "look" for a Mexican citizen.

Annie
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It's been my experience that the most insecure people are always the most critical and paranoid of others. My Mom was Swedish. She died in '04. Most closed minded, racist person I have ever known, God rest her soul. My Dad, her husband of 60 yrs., is Italian. One day, before she died, she said to me, "Don't you think that Swedish people are just more clean and nicer than any other people?" I was shocked! I said, "Well, that's kinda hard for me to say considering I'm half Italian!" But it really opened my eyes to just how racist she was, which, even included her husband of 60 yrs.!
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It's been my experience that the most insecure people are always the most critical and paranoid of others.
Originally Posted by lionese
Ditto!

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[quote=annielutz;641742]
Question: how exactly is a Mexican "supposed" to look? To me, it seems like the stereotyping that East Indians face--India's such a diverse country that it has people of so many different skin colors and hair/eye types. I'm assuming Mexican (and Latin American countries) are similar to that, meaning there has been so much mixing through the years that there's no unified look for those nationalities. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
Originally Posted by AngularScience


I live in Texas and have always had a lot of Mexican friends. Even though it's kind of well known that there is a HUGE range of what they look like, anything that sort of deviates from the norm, (which is usually olive to medium brown skin and thick wavy hair ranging from medium brown to black), is considered "not Mexican looking", even in the eyes of some Mexicans who should know better lol!

All of my friends who are the really white-looking types get asked all the time, even though they only identify as Mexican, and it kind of irritates them even though it's obvious to them why they asked. It's almost like in Mean Girls lol, "If your last name is Rodriguez, why are you white?" lol.

One of my friends is half-Mexican and half-Chinese, and it's only her name and accent that is Mexican seeming about her. I assumed she was totally asian until I heard her speak, and found out her last name. Then I noticed how she had freckles and a very non-typical curvy figure for an asian girl. She's really really busty lol. Her fiance is half-Mexican and half-Egyptian, with an Egyptian last name that she's going to take, so this will become even more confusing for people meeting her for the first time lol!

She has stick straight hair, that's really fine, and even though she would rather have thicker, more wavy hair, a lot of Mexican girls would like to have hers lol.

I'll give you an example: I have several aunts, but the two oldest ones were only two years apart. One was fair-skinned with light hair and eyes but not extraordinary looking, the other was far more beautiful but with darker skin and dark hair and eyes. My grandmother (from Guadalajara) told my darker aunt that she may as well not even bother looking for a husband because she was "too dark." Of course, my aunt ignored my grandmother.

From what I understand, this type of prejudice exists still in Mexico - the lighter the skin, hair, and eyes, the more desirable the person.

Mexico is a nation of immigrants, like the United States: From Spain, from Germany, and a large community of Chinese immigrants in Mexico City to name a few. So from that perspective, there is no one "look" for a Mexican citizen.
I had no idea until recently how color-struck Mexicans can be among their own people, although that seems to be the case in most cultures that have been colonialized at some point. I have noticed that most of my female friends have said at some point that they wont date guys darker than a certain shade; I just never put it together in my head lol!

We black people are usually like that too with light colored skin, and its really sad. ANY light-skinned woman is considered automatically prettier than even the most GORGEOUS dark skinned girl. If Naomi Campbell had been an African-American black person, she never would have become as successful as shes been because she looks 100% African.

Fortunately, were beginning to have darker skinned girls as beauty idols, although Gabrielle Union is the only one that comes to mind right now who would have been considered "too dark" to be considered beautiful. Its sad how many black female celebrities who are dark mention it as a struggle in interviewsL.
maybe I just need to vent. I have very thick mid length 3c curls and I am mexican-american. my family comes from a part of mexico where there was slave trading in the 1700's and everybody just sort of mixed up with everybody else. I just hate that people assume i am a whole slew of other things. it's not bad, people have given me wonderful compliments and sometimes i love that I am never categorized. i do get compliments on an almost weekly basis even. i suppose that i am just complaining/griping/thinking too much about my hair. because of my curly hair i don"t look the way that i am "supposed to" look being mexican. i am very proud of my culture and active in the community, but often get odd looks because i am relaxer free for 3 yrs. and wear my hair the way that it grows out of my head.
thanks for listening.
Originally Posted by lachicacurly
You're not as alone as you think. I have a lot of Mexican friends, and some of them have said they have a cousin or a friend with hair like mine, (3c). There was a half-black, half-Mexican girl 4 years younger than me at the middle school when I was in highschool who was practicaly my twin lol, and she was equally accepted in both groups!

By the way, do you get your hair cut in Mexican salons? I've been told a few times by them to try them out, since they're used to the thickness, but never have since I couldn't stand the embarrasment of going in their and seeing the "What am I supposed to do with this?!" look on their faces lol.

My favorite stylist of all time was a Puerto Rican lady (I REALLY miss her since I've moved back to Texas lol), but curly hair is WAY more common in that ethnicity, so she was super used to it. Unfortunatly, I haven't had very good luck with black stylists so far, who always want me to get a perm or a texturizer when I go in . If I wanted one I'd of gotten one already lol!
Thanks for the comments. I think that I just need to learn to further be ok with the hair.
Mexicans are very color conscience and I've been told several times that I am very lucky that I am so light skinned because otherwise people might think I was black. But that was generally from older women who felt they could say what they liked.
In college one of my best friends was black/white biracial and people always assumed we were related. I even got comments from a few guys that we were like different versions of each other, as we have similar hair and body types, just are differently colored, it was kind of creepy.
Actually I wouldn't go to a Mexican salon again. They are good with thick hair, perhaps up to 3a, but beyond that they have some major trouble. They tell me to wash it and put gel in it or just insist that I flat iron it and put a bunch of hairspray in it. They just want to make it flat and over product it like every where else I have been to.
The man that I go to now is Mexican -American actually and he specializes in multi-racial hair. He is wonderful and has helped me to accept what I have.Mostly I get great comments from people who are from the US and people from Mexico just don't seem to like it as much. I live in LA, so I am generally very happy with it. I mix into the multi-cultiness of it all.
Thanks!
3c/4a...sometimes frizzy, always beautiful!
maybe I just need to vent. I have very thick mid length 3c curls and I am mexican-american. my family comes from a part of mexico where there was slave trading in the 1700's and everybody just sort of mixed up with everybody else. I just hate that people assume i am a whole slew of other things. it's not bad, people have given me wonderful compliments and sometimes i love that I am never categorized. i do get compliments on an almost weekly basis even. i suppose that i am just complaining/griping/thinking too much about my hair. because of my curly hair i don"t look the way that i am "supposed to" look being mexican. i am very proud of my culture and active in the community, but often get odd looks because i am relaxer free for 3 yrs. and wear my hair the way that it grows out of my head.
thanks for listening.
Originally Posted by lachicacurly
I understand completely! Our culture can sometimes be very judgmental, especially about looks, and almost cruel sometimes (think of the nicknames our nanas give us - I was "Cachetona" and my brother was "Gordito", never our right names).

I'm on another side of the spectrum - while I have dark hair and eyes, I'm a light-skinned olive. People actually ask me "What are you?", especially given my married last name. This question comes from people of all color, but in my experience, fellow Chicanos are the most judgmental, like they don't believe my grandparents all came from Mexico. I, too, love and am proud of my heritage, and it's confusing and hurtful to be excluded or overlooked because I don't look like one would expect.

I guess this rant is mostly because my kids bear this as well. My son has my dark hair color with hazel eyes, and my daughter has light brown hair, light olive skin, and green eyes. With their father's German last name, no one ever thinks they are Hispanic, but they associate themselves with my family's culture. And they speak better Spanish than I do.

Can't we all just get along?!
Originally Posted by annielutz
I think there are many ethnicities that can relate with what you're going through.

I am half Filipino but don't look it at all; I don't even look Asian! Though I have not had any Asian tell me that I 'don't belong', I've gotten the 'you're not Asian' statement from people who aren't Asian.

Even though my non-Asian friends were joking with their statement, I think I kind of subconsciously took it to heart. I'm not quick to approach the Asian clique to make friends when I'm in a new place on my own. Perhaps I'm just used to befriending whoever I want.

My brother on the other hand looks more Asian than I do, and has plenty of Filipino friends. Could it be because he does have that Asian look?

Who knows...
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Originally Posted by jillipoo
Geez! People can be so ignorant.

Latin Americans come in all races. "Latin" just means you speak a Romance Language, doesn't mean you're brown and have a certain hair type or features. It's dumb how some people can make you feel inadequate cause you don't look a certain way. There's no such thing as a Mexican look. I've met White Mexicans, mixed (Mestizos) and even Black. Just know that some people don't know better.

Just celebrate your uniqueness. I'm sure you're beautiful.
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You appear to be a beautiful woman judging by your picture here! I'm serious.

But you are right there are quite a few areas in Mexico where African slaves ran away and formed colonies to rebel against the Spaniards...and wisely for their own preservation of future generations they intermarried with Indians and mestizos.

I am mixed with black and white, and when it comes to ppl like me appearing to be "Mexican," I take the cake. My husband is Mexican and when he first saw me he thought I was too. But he was fine with it either way and we have two beautiful children, one with straighthair and one with hair that is half straight and half curly, lol. My hair was straight until I entered adolescence.

What I can tell you is that I have been to Mexico and I watch Mexican shows like Mexico's Next Top Model. Mexican women are gorgeous in a very unreal kind of way...whether they are curly, straight or in between. My dad who is black always says my daughter looks like a "beautiful Hispanic girl." I think he is thinking of some of those dreamy looking Latinas! Lol

Have you seen Sahily Cordova? She is from Hermosillo, Sonora and she is definitely a ten times 100. She is unreal. She won Mexico's Next Top Model and she has the curliest, most voluminous hair ever, plus her eyes are green.

Be proud and btw, the runner up was extremely envious of Sahily's hair. Curly hair seems to be coveted in Mexican mpdels and having it gives you a strong advantage. I figured this out because Leti, who also had curly hair, kept using that as her selling point.

Not that straight hair is not pretty, it is just more common in Mexico, but some of the prettiest Mexican girls have straight hair.


maybe I just need to vent. I have very thick mid length 3c curls and I am mexican-american. my family comes from a part of mexico where there was slave trading in the 1700's and everybody just sort of mixed up with everybody else. I just hate that people assume i am a whole slew of other things. it's not bad, people have given me wonderful compliments and sometimes i love that I am never categorized. i do get compliments on an almost weekly basis even. i suppose that i am just complaining/griping/thinking too much about my hair. because of my curly hair i don"t look the way that i am "supposed to" look being mexican. i am very proud of my culture and active in the community, but often get odd looks because i am relaxer free for 3 yrs. and wear my hair the way that it grows out of my head.
thanks for listening.
Originally Posted by lachicacurly
You appear to be a beautiful woman judging by your picture here! I'm serious.

But you are right there are quite a few areas in Mexico where African slaves ran away and formed colonies to rebel against the Spaniards...and wisely for their own preservation of future generations they intermarried with Indians and mestizos.
Originally Posted by hiplengthcurls
[In response to the bolded]

... But anyway, yeah, people do look racially mixed in Mexico because they are.

To the OP: Curly hair is a one of several Mexican traits because Mexican people are quite racially mixed, so there's no need to feel like an outsider among your own mixed people. If you're being mistaken for someone black/white (like that friend of yours), maybe that's because it's what you are Embrace and celebrate WHATEVER you happen to be.

The whole colorism insanity has been around for so long, plaguing so many countries. At the end of the day, beauty has nothing to do with how light or dark anyone's skin is, or any other features. That's all a gigantic, stinking lie.

I like that you're embracing your culture by wearing your hair as it really is: naturally curly
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I lived in Mexico one summer. I saw plenty of curlies around. I saw people of different hues from blonde blue eyed to very dark.. Also I have heard a lot of people accuse Mexicans of being color struck but I have never heard anyone say anything but positive about my skin color and I have a ton of friends who are immigrants from Mexico.

Mexican is a nationality not a race. Anyone who is a citizen of Mexico is a Mexican regardless of race just like in the US or the UK ect. If someone said they were half black half American or half white half American then people would think they were crazy yet it makes sense to say someone is half black half Mexican or half white half Mexican.???? It is apples and oranges. I think probably the term they mean is mestizo. My godbrother is from Mexico and he has a German last name. I have friends who are Asian Peruvians and people get freaked out when they see them speaking Spanish. Lol
Color-consciousness is not unique of any single ethnic group or country; I'm from Honduras and with the same historical background as Mexico, we're equally mixed. There's also this "light-skinned is more attractive" mentality, given the contrast of what is typically "Latin" (kinda funny since everybody loves tanning). On the other hand, I lived in Taiwan for five years, and there as well, there was this preference for lighter skin (to the point of being obsessive, no tanning for them).
I now live in the Netherlands, and just the other day, a girl from Florida said she loved my "Hispanic" hair. Honestly, I just laughed. It was a compliment, but a ridiculous one.

I think what happens to a lot of us is that we wish to be identified for who we are; being mistaken for something else can be annoying or disheartening. It depends on how identified you are with your background, I guess. Example: I'm part German, but I fully identify with my Honduran identity; being mistaken for Spanish, or South American in general, would irk me....but then, being from a relatively unknown country doesn't help there, so I make it a game (keep them guessing what I am )
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This is all too common among African-Americans, but revolves around skin color and hair type. It's always "light skin is better" and "good hair is better." I'm of mixed ancestry, and have 3b curls. Apparently, I don't "look like the typical black girl," which is a rude comment that was directed at me months ago. When I was younger, people would ask if I was mixed, and being a child who had never heard the term before, I answered "no." They would just nod, and roll their eyes, or just look at me with a smirk on their face. It affected me personally, but I learned to ignore it. As Kira stated above, people do make assumptions; most people now assume that I'm of a certain background, instead of asking me if I am. I'm African-American, Italian, French, German, British, Irish, Spanish, Asian and a mix of other races (according to my family, we're "Heinz 57"). So, when people ask now, I just keep them guessing, lol!
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