Stop Touching My Hair!!!!!

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I guess I am the only person who does not mind it.
Originally Posted by AnnieRose
I usually don't mind, either. I take it as a compliment!
Curly and PROUD!!!

My hair has a mix of low/med/high porosity, and it's medium textured (some are still fine, though!)

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I don't know what it is, but for years now whenever my hair is pulled hard enough to hurt, it is a HUGE emotional trigger for me. I totally flip out.
I was working at a haunted house a couple of years ago, and the makeup artist asked me to flip over so she could tease my hair. She was pulling on it so much, I just started crying. I was quiet, and my hair was covering my face, so no one knew until I flipped my hair back and my face was stained with tears. I explained that I hated having my hair pulled and I don't know why it gives me such a strong emotional reaction. She wisely told me I could do my own hair from then on.
I get very stiff and panicky when people touch my hair without asking. God forbid someone actually pulls on it, I instantly switch from normal/happy to starving pitbull angry. It's so bad I usually warn people when I know I"m going to be around then a lot and I'm meeting them for the first time (mostly coworkers)
I don't really know where it comes from. I have very vivid memories of my mom brushing my hair to get it into a ponytail and how much it hurt, but I had to just sit there and take it.
My boyfriend LOVES my hair (I really wouldn't date someone who didn't), and he knows to somehow let me know he's going to touch it, but he's very respectful of when I don't want it touched.

Of course, all of this doesn't stop me from playing with my OWN hair, especially now that I've gone CG and it's so soft
Until today, I have NEVER had random people grabbing/touching my hair. I work in a field with very PROFESSIONAL behavioral standards (look at my name and guess what I do), so it's rare for people to be fondling each other's hair.

Today, I was teaching a seminar and was standing at the lunch table selecting some lunch. A provider, who was in the seminar, sidled up next to me and touched one of my curls. "Don't you LOVE your curls? Do people come up to you all the time and just BOING your curls?" (pulled one back and "boinged" it).

Um, no actually I don't have people do that all the time. I had absolutely no idea what to say or do. "Thanks, yes, it is curly, curlier than usual today actually!" or something like that.

Very, very odd. I admit, I had an AMAZING hair day, probably the best since starting CG, so I guess I'm a tiny bit flattered.
2C- my journey is documented HERE
Most porous hair in the universe
baby fine (individual hairs are basically invisible when they fall out, maddening!)
lots of it

Current routine: B&B Curl Conscious Defining Creme combed-in to soaking wet hair, Got2B Spiked Gel scrunched in. Daily shampoo with mix of Deva Curl No-Poo and Tresseme regular sulfate-filled shampoo for dry hair followed by five minutes of random conditioner


It's finally growing!

Modified CG since 13 April 2012
This has been a problem my entire life, and I recently explained it to my family in a way that they would finally understand why it drives me nuts but I just grin and bear it anyways.

"Having curly hair is like being pregnant... ALL THE TIME. Everyone suddenly thinks that your hair is public property and should be touched."

This explanation doesn't really work for the small children who yank on my hair, but it does manage to thwart other females and men in relationships.

Then there are friends of mine who think it will be fun to determine the spring constant of my hair... they're science nerds. I'll let them.
3c/4a Med-High Porosity, Protein Craving

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1/2 c Water
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2 tsp CNPF
1/4 c Aloe Gel
20 drops Essential Oils
3 tbs Avocado Oil
Seal: Avocado Oil
Deep Cond: SheaMoisture Organic Yucca & Baobab Anti-Breakage Hair Masque
Until today, I have NEVER had random people grabbing/touching my hair. I work in a field with very PROFESSIONAL behavioral standards (look at my name and guess what I do), so it's rare for people to be fondling each other's hair.
Originally Posted by CurlMD
I'm surprised to hear you say this. I work in an ER and my coworkers constantly touch my hair if I have it in a ponytail instead of a braid or bun. One night, after all of the patients had left, I let my hair down so it could dry a little, and at least three of my coworkers ran their hands through my hair. It totally grosses me out because I know what they've been touching and that some of them only use the sanitizing foam instead of washing their hands before and after each patient.

Nurses all over the floor run their hands through my husband's (who works in the lab) hair.
med/coarse texture; med/high porosity; 3b; iii; 30" long (waist)

CWC using whatever works this week


A curly girl married to a curly guy!







Then there are friends of mine who think it will be fun to determine the spring constant of my hair... they're science nerds. I'll let them.
Originally Posted by FluffyZGiggler
Wow, this exact same thing happened to me in school. And at work. I work with a bunch of engineers, so I get this a few times a year.
[QUOTE=lollyleely;2041681]

Then there are friends of mine who think it will be fun to determine the spring constant of my hair... they're science nerds. I'll let them.
Originally Posted by FluffyZGiggler
Yes, I heard this in physics courses
2C- my journey is documented HERE
Most porous hair in the universe
baby fine (individual hairs are basically invisible when they fall out, maddening!)
lots of it

Current routine: B&B Curl Conscious Defining Creme combed-in to soaking wet hair, Got2B Spiked Gel scrunched in. Daily shampoo with mix of Deva Curl No-Poo and Tresseme regular sulfate-filled shampoo for dry hair followed by five minutes of random conditioner


It's finally growing!

Modified CG since 13 April 2012
Until today, I have NEVER had random people grabbing/touching my hair. I work in a field with very PROFESSIONAL behavioral standards (look at my name and guess what I do), so it's rare for people to be fondling each other's hair.
Originally Posted by CurlMD
I'm surprised to hear you say this. I work in an ER and my coworkers constantly touch my hair if I have it in a ponytail instead of a braid or bun. One night, after all of the patients had left, I let my hair down so it could dry a little, and at least three of my coworkers ran their hands through my hair. It totally grosses me out because I know what they've been touching and that some of them only use the sanitizing foam instead of washing their hands before and after each patient.

Nurses all over the floor run their hands through my husband's (who works in the lab) hair.
Originally Posted by PerkyCurlz
Well, I can see that in an ER I guess. I always thought that people immediately relax a little when they get to wear scrubs I happen to work in corporate healthcare and wear business suits much of the time, and many of my interactions are with high-power executive types... and hair-touching just doesn't happen.
2C- my journey is documented HERE
Most porous hair in the universe
baby fine (individual hairs are basically invisible when they fall out, maddening!)
lots of it

Current routine: B&B Curl Conscious Defining Creme combed-in to soaking wet hair, Got2B Spiked Gel scrunched in. Daily shampoo with mix of Deva Curl No-Poo and Tresseme regular sulfate-filled shampoo for dry hair followed by five minutes of random conditioner


It's finally growing!

Modified CG since 13 April 2012
Until today, I have NEVER had random people grabbing/touching my hair. I work in a field with very PROFESSIONAL behavioral standards (look at my name and guess what I do), so it's rare for people to be fondling each other's hair.
Originally Posted by CurlMD
I'm surprised to hear you say this. I work in an ER and my coworkers constantly touch my hair if I have it in a ponytail instead of a braid or bun. One night, after all of the patients had left, I let my hair down so it could dry a little, and at least three of my coworkers ran their hands through my hair. It totally grosses me out because I know what they've been touching and that some of them only use the sanitizing foam instead of washing their hands before and after each patient.

Nurses all over the floor run their hands through my husband's (who works in the lab) hair.
Originally Posted by PerkyCurlz
Well, I can see that in an ER I guess. I always thought that people immediately relax a little when they get to wear scrubs I happen to work in corporate healthcare and wear business suits much of the time, and many of my interactions are with high-power executive types... and hair-touching just doesn't happen.
Originally Posted by CurlMD
But you don't spend all your time at work do you? I'm not a doctor but people at my job don't play in anyone's hair. It's the random strangers at bars or social settings who stick their grimmy fingers to the scalp to feel if this is "really" my hair or boing my curls. I think alcohol clouds their judgement.

I've never been pregnant but I think curly and pregnant would super suck with people rubbing your stomach and your hair.
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[QUOTE=adthomas;2042696][QUOTE=CurlMD;2041839]


But you don't spend all your time at work do you?
Originally Posted by PerkyCurlz
Well... much of it.

I think maybe I am a little standoffish in terms of people touching me I need my personal space and I think people, even random people at bars, sense it. Like, I do NOT like it when people hug me hello or goodbye. I don't care if you're my best friend, I just don't like touching people. It just doesn't feel natural to me. But maybe people sense my aversion to touch? who knows.
2C- my journey is documented HERE
Most porous hair in the universe
baby fine (individual hairs are basically invisible when they fall out, maddening!)
lots of it

Current routine: B&B Curl Conscious Defining Creme combed-in to soaking wet hair, Got2B Spiked Gel scrunched in. Daily shampoo with mix of Deva Curl No-Poo and Tresseme regular sulfate-filled shampoo for dry hair followed by five minutes of random conditioner


It's finally growing!

Modified CG since 13 April 2012
Lol I grew up with kids touching up my hair so I'm kinda immune to it however some way they touch my hair really piss me off.
1. When I have my hair in a ponytail or bun and they rub my towards my face and not to the bun.
2. When they yank their fingers through it.
3. When I'm in a bad mood and they play with it.
[QUOTE=CurlMD;2042729][QUOTE=adthomas;2042696]

Well... much of it.

I think maybe I am a little standoffish in terms of people touching me I need my personal space and I think people, even random people at bars, sense it. Like, I do NOT like it when people hug me hello or goodbye. I don't care if you're my best friend, I just don't like touching people. It just doesn't feel natural to me. But maybe people sense my aversion to touch? who knows.
Originally Posted by CurlMD
I used to be like this - didn't like to hug or even shake hands with people. While some people "got it" and avoided touching me, others, it seemed, got all passive-aggressive and would give overly-firm handshakes, or hug me like a long-lost mother. ... But I've loosened up. Now I'm actually touchy-feely. Love hugs. Have a firm handshake (hopefully not too firm).

I used to work in human services (not unlike you do now). I was averse to contact w/others: I didn't want to invite needy people to cross my boundaries and overwhelm me. My aversion to touching others also stems from growing up around certain people who were takers rather than givers. I didn't want to be obligated to them or emotionally enmeshed. Wanted them kept out of my personal space.
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[QUOTE=Korkscrew;2091977][QUOTE=CurlMD;2042729]

I used to be like this - didn't like to hug or even shake hands with people. While some people "got it" and avoided touching me, others, it seemed, got all passive-aggressive and would give overly-firm handshakes, or hug me like a long-lost mother. ... But I've loosened up. Now I'm actually touchy-feely. Love hugs. Have a firm handshake (hopefully not too firm).

I used to work in human services (not unlike you do now). I was averse to contact w/others: I didn't want to invite needy people to cross my boundaries and overwhelm me. My aversion to touching others also stems from growing up around certain people who were takers rather than givers. I didn't want to be obligated to them or emotionally enmeshed. Wanted them kept out of my personal space.
Originally Posted by adthomas
Glad to hear you have loosened up. Growing up in a family where both parents are from Italy, higging and kissing are the norm. They even do it with the same gender. I would never go that far but if I love giving hugs and kisses to beautiful women.
I respect that about Italian culture. I also noticed they can argue and fight just as passionately as they love, in terms of general cultural norms.

LOL I don't hug and kiss beautiful men any more because I'm married, so it's just one beautiful man (and I made a terrific choice in a husband, thank God)
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I respect that about Italian culture. I also noticed they can argue and fight just as passionately as they love, in terms of general cultural norms.

LOL I don't hug and kiss beautiful men any more because I'm married, so it's just one beautiful man (and I made a terrific choice in a husband, thank God)
Originally Posted by Korkscrew
You're not kidding, we do both very well. Fight and love. Happy for you that you have a terrific husband. I have a terrific wife as well. She's part French, Spanish and Irish. When I first came around her family and greeted the ladies with a hug and kiss along with "good to see you, honey," they were more than a bit stunned and looked at me like, "who's this young guy flirting with me?" LOL. Ever since then a year later they were used to it.
Yeah, I guess everyone has their own way of behaving. It makes us all unique

... But I will say this: if my DH had acted that way toward my family, I'm pretty sure the paramedics and EMTs would have had to scrape him up w/a spatula to get off the ground, onto the gurney and over to the hospital.

(My family enjoys their personal space. A lot.)
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* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums
I guess those who don't mind it aren't germaphobes. I just think of where their hands have probably been... In their noses, in their pants -- I have a pretty vivid imagination.

I will say that since I've been in China everyone is fascinated with it, but they all think it's permed (which I find hilarious). Anyway, I always get asked here before someone tries to touch it--unlike back at home where people would think they not only had the license to touch my hair, but to GRAB it. I even had one girl pull a strand of my hair OUT because it was sticking up... I don't take that as a compliment in the least. I feel it's really rude and disrespectful. I'm not an animal.
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Yeah, I guess everyone has their own way of behaving. It makes us all unique

... But I will say this: if my DH had acted that way toward my family, I'm pretty sure the paramedics and EMTs would have had to scrape him up w/a spatula to get off the ground, onto the gurney and over to the hospital.

(My family enjoys their personal space. A lot.)
Originally Posted by Korkscrew
I don't mean to give the wrong idea. I won't do it if someome is uncomfortable but I find it is very rare. My wife's side was shocked at first but they love it now.
I guess those who don't mind it aren't germaphobes. I just think of where their hands have probably been... In their noses, in their pants -- I have a pretty vivid imagination.

I will say that since I've been in China everyone is fascinated with it, but they all think it's permed (which I find hilarious). Anyway, I always get asked here before someone tries to touch it--unlike back at home where people would think they not only had the license to touch my hair, but to GRAB it. I even had one girl pull a strand of my hair OUT because it was sticking up... I don't take that as a compliment in the least. I feel it's really rude and disrespectful. I'm not an animal.
Originally Posted by NaturalRemedy
I would never touch someone's and nor do I really like people touching mine. Give me a compliment and it'll make my day. So I give them to ladies with curls. They are usually taken aback (in a good way). I was at the DMV yesterday and the lady that waited on me (she was black but race is imaterial). I couldn't tell if she had used a curling iron but the gel glistened. I told her that her hair looked beautiful. She said while gushing and smiling, "Thank you."

BTW, Natural Remedy, I'd like to say, "your hair is gorgeous."

Last edited by bobby; 12-28-2012 at 03:56 PM.
Yeah, I guess everyone has their own way of behaving. It makes us all unique

... But I will say this: if my DH had acted that way toward my family, I'm pretty sure the paramedics and EMTs would have had to scrape him up w/a spatula to get off the ground, onto the gurney and over to the hospital.

(My family enjoys their personal space. A lot.)
Originally Posted by Korkscrew
I don't mean to give the wrong idea. I won't do it if someome is uncomfortable but I find it is very rare. My wife's side was shocked at first but they love it now.
Originally Posted by bobby

Bobby, my family is just as affectionate. Outsiders seem a little weirded out but we just hug 'em into submission.
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