Stop Touching My Hair!!!!!

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Kids do the same thing to me all the time at school. Randomly people will start playing with my hair....people I don't know too well either and then compliment it (because that somehow makes up for the fact that you're putting your dirty fingers on me). The worst was at a pool party when a couple people literally yanked my head around by the hair to "scrunch" it. Ouch.
I am getting sick of everyone grabbing at my hair. every time i turn around somebody is yanking at it. Just today at the mall i had 7 people do it without even asking, its like they think that just because it's curly it's their own personal playground! does this ever happen to you?
Originally Posted by TheFabFan
this CONSTANTLYY happens to me, especially at school. i'll be taking notes or working on some paper and whoever's behind me will just start pulling at my ringlets, to watch them bounce up. it's like, "HULLOOOO!?" ughh. hatee that.
people are always touching my hair.
Not as many strangers as when I was younger, thank god, but I still do get quite a few old ladies yanking my ringlets.
I don't know what it is about old women and curly hair....
My boyfriend is the worst offender. He is always boinging my hair and trying to brush it to make it poofier. lol.
but I kind of like the hair attention... it's like a compliment.
Hair Type: 3b /3a?.... medium texture, normal porosity

Conditioner:
Aussie Moist


Shampoo: Organix Shampoo

Other products: Paul Mitchell Sculpting Foam Mousse, LA looks Sport gel, & whatever is cheapest for a frizz serum.



When I was younger (I'm 31 now) people used to do that and I would tell them NO and shrug them off! But now, as an adult.. I guess I just have a look about me that says, "YOU BETTER ASK FIRST"... LOL!

So I don't get people just touching my hair but people often ask me can they touch it. I do understand why a lot of people wish to touch it though. I think if people see something different than their own they want to see how it feels.

Even men ask me.. but I always tell them no. I am married and I don't want any man touching my hair unless it's my husband...and well I can see my husband's head about to explode if some man was to touch it. LOL! And we DON'T need that...

But women ask me all the time. I usually say no unless we are discussing hair and they just are curious about what mine feels like...I just think it's an invasion of personal space. I would never just go up and touch anyone without asking UNLESS they were in danger of being hurt. Like this older woman almost fell on the curb before and I caught her. She was very thankful.

But it's just like when people are preggers. People go up to the woman and just rub her belly and it's like ? Um she's not a darn wishing well..leave this woman ALONE.

Now I DID have people do that when I was pregnant..and I set the straight. My husband and I were VERY protective of my belly. But he would get especially ticked if someone just came up and touched my tummy.

He often would block people's hands and tell them he didn't want anyone touching his wife. A lot of people were very embarrassed! YIKES! I remember those days..sometimes I was even mortified FOR the person but I agreed with him that no one should be touching my tummy!

But it's about personal space and respect as I said. And everyone has a right to PROTECT their personal space. Your hair IS part of your personal space and no one has a right to violate that and if they do you have EVERY right to ask them have they lost their ding dang mind!

Plus you don't know where people's hands have been..bleh!
When I was little and had really bouncy 3a ringlets, people would always come up and touch it or even pull on it without asking. One of my first memories is of some woman coming up to my mother and asking if she could feel my hair. o_O

Now that I'm getting the curl back again, people are doing it to me more and more often... my hair's very sensitive and gets frizzy and shapeless if it's pawed at too much, but when I try to explain this to people they just laugh it off. It's not fun to have your mother's friends grabbing your hair right before your choir concert.
Thick, mostly 2c with some 3a; fine texture, medium/high porosity, and a very strange curl & wave pattern.

Started CG (properly) as of 6/31/2009.

Cowash | Suave Naturals Ocean Breeze or Juicy Green Apple
Rinse-out | Burt's Bees Super Shiny
Leave-in | Live Clean Intense Moisturizing
Gel | HESMU

Right now: growing hair past shoulder-length, looking to take decent hair picture (my avatar is my first day of CG).
Oh my gawd, this happens to me ALL THE TIME. I have 3a hair I guess (I literally just found this out about 5 minutes ago) and it's very elasticy, so my friends are always like, "Can I touch it?" because they like to pull curls and watch as they immediately boing back to their original shape. One time this random women just grabbed a handful of my hair and asked if it was natural. Truthfully, I'm so used to it, it doesn't even really bother me anymore.
That drives me nuts! I have one co-worker (who is also curly, but straightens her hair every day) who has "boinged" my curls a couple of times. The first time I let her get away with it, but the next time I had to let her know that it was NOT okay, since I didn't want another repeat!
This thread has made me smile it seems that even in the normally reserved UK the temptation to touch, pat or ruffle curly hair is irresistable. It has happened to me on many occassions and I have to agree it can be extremely annoying. As someone said we can't go around pinching behinds!

Even my friends and family can't keep their mits to themselve at times, more annoying 'cos they should no better. Rufflers are the worst there is nothing more gaurnteed to produce frizz than someone ruffling my locks!

Perhaps we should look at it that they must be jealous?!

Curlyphys

P.S this is my 1st post
I know... ruffling is the worst. My parents are big culprits - my dad always ruffles the back of my hair and ruins it, but when I ask for them not to do that because it'll mess up my hair, they just laugh and call me vain! Rrrgh. Fortunately the hair around my face forms corkscrews that are pretty much indestructible (I could get perfect fifth-day hair if I had them all over my head), so I can resort to updos if I need to.
Thick, mostly 2c with some 3a; fine texture, medium/high porosity, and a very strange curl & wave pattern.

Started CG (properly) as of 6/31/2009.

Cowash | Suave Naturals Ocean Breeze or Juicy Green Apple
Rinse-out | Burt's Bees Super Shiny
Leave-in | Live Clean Intense Moisturizing
Gel | HESMU

Right now: growing hair past shoulder-length, looking to take decent hair picture (my avatar is my first day of CG).
I had a horrible experience with unwarranted hair touching when I was 11-years old. (I am 20 now.) My hair was cut into a very volumnious stacked curly bob then, almost down to my shoulders. I was in my first year of middle school, eating lunch in the outdoor courtyard. After the bell rang, signaling that lunch was over, most people had left the courtyard, save for me and a few people. I was always really slow at packing things up, so I was usually one of the last to leave. When most of the people had cleared out, a group of four football players surrounded me. All four of them started literally yanking and pulling at my hair, saying things like, "Is it real?", "It looks like an afro!", "What an awful perm!", "She looks like Mufassa from the Lion King"! They basically harassed me and yanked at my hair for about two to three minutes. I kept protesting, telling them to stop, yet they did not cease, nor did any passer-bys stop them. They finally went away once the bell rang again, and I ran crying to the school office. The whole incident was caught on security cameras, yet in the end, none of the boys ended up being punished. One of them was the football coach's son, and the rest were popular and favored with the administration. They did nothing about it; the principal said, "They were just curious!" and a load of other dismissive crap. It was definitely an assault in my book!

Talk about a dual case of curl hatred and athlete favoritism!
3a, wurly girl
loving deva angell, aohr, and mill creek botanicals jojoba poo

When I was little, I had bouncy ringlets and the touching and complimenting was part of my daily regime.
Recently, people have just run up to me and tugged on my hair, like it's weird that I don't straighten it.
And now, since I have a cut similar to the voluminous bob aforementioned, people yell "I didn't know white girls could have afros!" "Mufasa's actually a girl!" "Excuse me, I think you should be in the disco era!"
It goes on and on.
Even my best friend has been calling my hair Mufasa since seventh grade.

2C roots, 3A/3B for the rest.
currently growing out... pulled down the longest part of hair is a little past the armpit.

curly goals: GROWING OUT!

routine: Condition daily with Nature's Gate Conditioner, shampoo once a week with Organix Hydrating Shampoo .
Wrap in t-shirt and let dry for ten minutes. Scrunch with Redken Ringlet 07 and blow-dry bangs.



What I cant stand is people trying to run their fingers through my hair, no matter who it is I go mental don't run your fingers through my hair!!!! I snap when it comes to people combing their fingers through my hair.
I hate when people touch my hair when I was younger back in primary school people would pull my hair then say that it's wigs. Older girls would re style my hair and my mom would ask what happen and to tell those people to stop playing in my hair or it will drop. People would make a hair beard and mustache out of my pigtails and pretend its a jump rope. I don't mind if a cute guy touches it once his hand is clean. Mom always trying to touch it.....WHEN WILL IT END??
That happened to me twice yesterday. Some of my family was visiting and they haven't seen me in a while, so the moment my cousin (she's 25) sees me,she reaches for my hair and starts feeling away. It caught be by surprise so I got startled and jumped a little . Then she asked "Hey can you do my hair like this?" I told her my hair was curly naturally and she looked at me like this O.O.And I went to the mall with my friend and i had my hair down, in all its curly wonder, so we meet my other friend Franco, and this is what occurs:
Franco: "Hi"*reaches for my hair and starts pulling away at curls*
Me:"Hey, what's u- umm....what are you doing?"
Franco:"Your hair looks really cute like this"
Me:":sarcastically: And thank you for asking if you could touch it."
One day I'm just going to walk up to one of them out of the blue and just start touching their hair to see if they like it. rawr
We went to the mall looking to see if they added a new Bobbi Brown counter (though I never saw one.) My mother and I noticed that they added a Carol's Daughter counter and we decided to investigate.

The lady there actually fixed my hair with the products (and it did seem to change the way my hair felt.) But when she was finishing up, one of the ladies (who I assume worked at one of the other counters) asked to touch my hair.

I guess I didn't really mind, but at least she did ASK (and I was getting my hair fixed anyway, thankfully). I might find it way annoying if someone just came up and put their nasty grubby hands on me.
I saw someone at work whom I hadn't seen since spring and she never saw my hair natural. She walked by me and ruffled the back which is the most easily frizzed part of my hair. That kind of thing never used to bother me when I was relaxed but I was TICKED OFF because I was still a bit damp in back so of course, frizz followed.
All Natural Since July 2009
Avatar Pic: HESMU gel over Tresemme Naturals as leave-in 7/25/10. I hadn't had time to SOTC but it got nice and full later (no pic)
Last Relaxer: February 2008
Type: 4a canopy, 3c mid, 3b nape, semi porous, ii
Current Favorite: Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
Trying: Castor Oil
everytime i'm out at school people start touching my hair. One of my boyfriend's friends always tries to mess it up.. MULTIPLE times a night. usually a smack him in the face pretty good before he's able to strike. Also there's this one girl who always tells me she wants to "live" in my hair. She pushes my hair apart with her hands and pretends to live in it. SO annoying.
Seriously, I am so OVER people asking if my hair is REAL or if they can TOUCH it! You'd think that curly hair is some bizarre, rare, alien-like, freak-gene!

Sometimes I get asked
THESE questions by white women:
"Oh, your hair is so beautiful is that a perm? "It'so shiny, I wish I could get curls like that...but my hair is so straight, I can never get it hold a curl...is that your natural curl...may I touch it? How do you comb it? CAN you comb it? DO you comb it? You don't wash it every day do you? Can you wash it everyday?" Or after they touch it they say,(totally surprised/shocked) "Oooh, it's so soft, not greasy and stiff AT ALL!!" All of which leaves me feeling utterly uncomfortable and highly annoyed! And I'm thinking..."WTF???"
And sometimes I get asked THESE questions by non-white women:
"Is that YOUR hair?" "Where'd you get your weave done?" "Gurl, if I had your hair I'd relax it...then it would lay flatter on your head."," You know you got "GOOD" hair, right?" " You must have white in you, right?" Then, when I say," Yes it's my real and natural hair." And I say, "Yes, I AM multi-racial "...THEY DON'T ASK if they can touch it...they just DIG their hands in and "check" for tracks, glue or even to see if it's a wig! All the while they're saying, "It's so pretty and soft!" Again, leaving me feeling utterly violated and highly annoyed! And yet again, I'm thinking "WTF???!!!"
Imagine me walking up to someone and asking them if their breasts are real and then asking them if I can touch them or not even asking but just reaching out and grabbing a handful of flesh. How well do you think that would go over?

I don't mind TALKING about my hair with people...but the touching and "under the microscope" interrogation? Ugh, THAT, I can do without. I'm a human being who just happens to have curly hair...it's just hair, people!!! <<< Hmmm, I think I'll make a t-shirt that says exactly that. "IT'S JUST HAIR, PEOPLE!" on the front and "NO, YOU MAY NOT TOUCH IT!" on the back. Better yet, "Yes, this IS my REAL hair!" on the front and "Suuure you can touch it....for FIFTY BUCKS!" on the back.


Okay, I'm done venting.
When I worked in Disney World, I always put my hair up (I had a very, very specific reason for it). On my way back from my work location one evening, my coworker that was sitting behind me started pulling on my ponytail at the bottom and giggling. I asked him what he was doing, and he said "Your ponytail is one big curl. It's fun." I shrugged and said "Ok, whatever" and let him do it. I honestly don't mind when people *I know* do that to my ponytail.

But I have a student that LOVES to touch people's hair. She ran her fingers through mine once and said "Ew!!" because a lot of hair came out. I had to explain to her that some people's hair does that because "we have so much hair on our heads that our head has to let some of it go." She hasn't touched my hair since. But I wonder what she'll do once she's in a better mood (oh boy was today a doozy!) now that I've started CG...
CG: 9/4/09

3a and 3b/F/ii


Condish: CJ Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner
Shampoo (Sulfate-free): Giovanni Tea Tree Triple Treat (use 1-2x/week)
Styling Product: HETT mousse

TRYING to grow it out- maybe softer water and going almost strictly CG will help!
LOL, you know who gets the most people touching her hair in my family? The sleek straight haired blonde. The girls at her kindergarten think it's different and want to know how it feels. She says they want to brush it.

But hers doesn't get messed up, it just falls back down straight. Anyway, I think it's just that people want to know what different hair textures feel like. I understand this.

I do worry about lice because, well, it's kindergarten, so tell her do not touch anyone's hair, don't let them touch yours, don't even touch your own hair. But the curiosity seems normal to me.
2c / C / iii (FIA)
Med-Coarse, LowPorosity, NormalElast (LCLF)

Shoulder-Length now.

Wash: DevaCare Low Poo
Detangle & Rinseout: Walgreens or Sally's Conditioning Balm (always)
Leave-in: DevaCare OneC (budget choice is GFTN)
Style: ReCoil & DevaCare Arc Angel (budget choices are HESMU or Got2BSpikedUp)

Henna!

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