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Old 07-24-2006, 05:49 PM   #1
 
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I don't know if this is a big deal, but it definitely is to me! I sent a picture to my ex with me and my curls. It was a good picture, my curls were nicely defined and didn't look frizzy at all. He said "pretty" and then out of nowhere "STRAIGHTEN YOUR HAIR NOW!" This really bothered me. I tried to tell him that I'm just getting used to taking care of my curls and I don't want to have to spend time straightening my hair because I co-wash twice a day so it'd be a waste of my time. He told me to just go to the hair dresser, but I told him it's not worth the money to keep getting my hair done when I like the way it looks curly, and then I told him it's not like he touches my hair anyway so why does he care? He said it looks better straight and that I should straighten it the next time I see him. This made me feel really self-concious of my curls and I purchased some straightening glaze for a protectant. I haven't straightened now, but I wish I could get him to love my hair the way it is natural. My mom told me that she loves my hair and that I shouldn't straighten it, it would be a waste of time to do it just for him. But I'll probably cave and do it anyway since it's just for one day...he better appreciate it too :x

A positive note is that one of my best friends loves my hair and tells me I should wear it down more. I've also gotten lots of positive remarks, one girl asked me what I had done to my hair and I replied "I washed it" She turned to her friend and said "She has PERFECT hair." That really made my day . (Thought I'd balance my post )
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Old 07-24-2006, 07:20 PM   #2
 
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i just took a look at your album. your hair is beautiful. do not straighten your hair just for that idiot. and he's your ex? why do you care what he thinks? your mom's right. it would be a waste of time. next time he tries to tell you what to do with your hair, tell him to suck on it.
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Old 07-24-2006, 08:16 PM   #3
 
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I agree with sunshower. He's your EX. Why do you care what someone thinks who really isn't in your life(I'm assuming this)? And if he really cared, he would never make a comment like that. You're liking your hair the way it is naturally, and for someone to make that comment after you've told them that you like your hair is pretty rude.

Don't straighten it for anyone except yourself. If you want to, and want a change, go for it. But don't do it to impress someone, or because someone else thinks you look better with straight hair. I'm sure alot of people would think I look better doing A, B, and C, but what they think doesn't matter to me. If I'm happy as is, then that's more important to me. Screw what everyone else thinks.

AND not to mention that you could damage your hair straightening that one time(if not done properly). The last thing you want is to damage your hair all because you ex wants to see you with straight hair. If he wants it straight so badly, you should tell him to pay for it.
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Old 07-24-2006, 08:37 PM   #4
 
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I don't think it matters who says "you should straighten your hair". It doesn't matter whether it's a friend, a parent, an ex, or a current partner. You should only do what makes you happy with yourself. If you love your hair curly (and I certainly do, great pics), then wear it curly no matter who you are going to be around.
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Old 07-25-2006, 05:32 AM   #5
 
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Thanks so much guys This makes me feel a lot better, and I am most certainly not going to straighten my hair now!
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Old 07-25-2006, 10:41 AM   #6
 
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I'm a bit confused too. He is your ex... and exes are exes for a reason.
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Old 07-25-2006, 02:59 PM   #7
 
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lol well I call him my ex, but we are really more like good best friends.
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Old 07-25-2006, 09:23 PM   #8
 
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Ordering you to "STRAIGHTEN YOUR HAIR NOW" isn't so friendly. I think you need to put him in check, girl. The first thing to do is to wear your hair like YOU like it. That way, people that like what you like will join you in enjoying it. People that don't like it, well, that's their problem.
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Old 07-25-2006, 09:34 PM   #9
 
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Wear your hair curly. If he says something about it, say something to the effect of "well, I can't believe you wore that shirt." See how he likes being treated that way!
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Old 07-26-2006, 05:19 AM   #10
 
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Yea, I talked to him on the phone the other day about how I wasn't going to be straightening my hair. He got all fussy about it by saying "But I don't like your hair curly." -Sigh- Then he got upset during part of our conversation....

Him saying that to me is like a guy forcing you to put on makeup because he doesn't like the way your face looks without it :x. I didn't really take it too personally then, but now it really bugs me.

... Oh well I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who can appreciate curly heads!
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Old 07-26-2006, 05:24 AM   #11
 
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He sounds like a total jerk! So what if he doesn't like your hair curly? Tough luck! You were not put on this earth to be a decorative item for his benefit. He sounds very full of himselft and immature. He's not worth worrying about.
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Old 07-26-2006, 11:20 AM   #12
 
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Well, he sounds like a real gem. He doesn't like your hair curly? Who asked him and who cares? What does your hair have to do with him? I don't want to jump to any conclusions- but if I were you I would think back and see if this incident is only one in a general pattern of criticism/control. Jerk is right- except the word I would use would probably end up getting censored!
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Old 07-26-2006, 07:23 PM   #13
 
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Yea he definitely has his controlling times, and when I offer him criticism about certain things having nothing to do with his looks, more like his attitude, he makes it sound like he doesn't need to listen to anything I have to say. Sheesh, now I feel stupid for considering altering my hair at all...
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http://public.fotki.com/cocoalily/
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Old 07-26-2006, 07:46 PM   #14
 
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no wonder he's your ex.
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Old 07-26-2006, 10:19 PM   #15
 
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Mostly 3c and lovin' my curls

This is not a fashion trend, it's not a statement, it's pride for who we are and what we look like. And that is where our true beauty shines.


http://public.fotki.com/cocoalily/
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Old 07-27-2006, 12:06 PM   #16
 
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No way! Don't straighten. Your hair looks beautiful. Very pretty curls.

~Zoe
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Old 07-27-2006, 03:06 PM   #17
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Zoe~
No way! Don't straighten. Your hair looks beautiful. Very pretty curls.

~Zoe
Thanks Zoe! Your curly hair is so long and beautiful
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Mostly 3c and lovin' my curls

This is not a fashion trend, it's not a statement, it's pride for who we are and what we look like. And that is where our true beauty shines.


http://public.fotki.com/cocoalily/
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Old 09-20-2006, 12:26 PM   #18
 
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Congratulations on no longer being attached to this guy!

It seems to me that the only reason people get angry about something not looking the way they expect is because they feel some sense of ownership.

When was the last time you were upset by a horribly ugly, abandoned building that you saw on a cross-country drive? Wouldn't you feel differently if it was next to your house and was affecting the look of the street that you (in a way) partly own?

1. "Argh! I hate that commercial!" (subtext: what is that commercial doing on MY TV?)
2. "Ugh! I wish the owners of that house would mow their yard!" (subtext: there is an ugly yard on MY street)
3. "Ew! Gross! I can't believe that woman wears those curls!" (subtext: ...?)
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