Update- as a fine haired low porosity wavy I still haven't found a great leave in that doesn't weigh down my hair. However, I stopped using the Nature's Gate Herbal as a cowash and used Say Yes to Carrots about an hour ago (just had it lying around). My hair is still drying but I can already tell it is much softer! As a rinse out I used a mixture of the two, more SYTC than NG.
Guess I needed more moisture and less protein! Thanks again everyone!