I hate my hair, I want to cry

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My hair is such a mess, I don't even know what to do.

My ends are dry, my roots get greasy, and it gets tangled so easily.

I end up ripping my hair out every time I try to detangle it, even when using my fingers. I can't take it anymore and am ready to just chop my hair off.

I thought I was doing good things for my hair. I cut WAY back on shampoo usage and bought something called Biota for thinning hair. It didn't lather much so I thought it would be better for my hair. I use it once a week.

Otherwise I co-wash with Suave Naturals coconut conditioner. I'll put Suave Professionals Almond/Shea Butter conditioner on the last 4-5 inches of it because my ends are constantly SO dry.

I do an ACV rinse which seems to help the frizz.
My hair will be fine for the first 12 hour or so, feel super soft, moisturized, etc, and then go down hill. My second day hair has ends that are like straw and my roots look dull/greasy/weighed down.

I use the Macadamia Mask as a leave in, just a pea sized on the end. I've tried the It's a 10 miracle leave in + keratin but it makes my hair feel very dry.

I've tried almond oil, I've used it as a hair mask but it doesn't wash out well and leaves my hair looking like an oil slick. If I put it in just the very ends it works okay but my second day hair is still the same.

I really don't know what to do anymore. When I was younger I had BEAUTIFUL thick wavy hair that was super healthy. When I was a child I had ringlet curls.

I need help before I shave my head.
Here are the ingredients I have found for Biota, correct me if it's wrong -

Water, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Biocomplex B11 Herbal Extract (Urtica Urens Leaf Extract, Urtica Dioica [Nettle] Root Extract, Chamomilla Recutita [Matricaria] Flower Extract, Achillea Millefolium Extract, Ceratonia Siliqua [Carob] Fruit Extract, Equisetum Arvense Extract), Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Propylene Glycol, Mel, Sodium Chloride, PEG/PPG-120/10 Trimethylolpropane Trioleate, Laureth-2, Polysorbate 20, Fragrance, Vitis Vinifera (Grape) Seed Extract, Hydroxypropyl Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride, Butylene Glycol, Amodimethicone, PPG-26-Buteth-26, PEG 40 Hydrogenated Castor Oil, C11-15 Pareth-7, Laureth-9, Glycerin, Trideceth-12, Apigenin, Oleanolic Acid, Biotinoyl Tripeptide-1, Geraniol, Citronellol, Benzyl Alcohol, Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Methylisothiazolinone, Citric Acid.

The two bolded ingredients might possibly be causing your problem. the sulfate is harsh, so if you use it once a week, it's going to be harsh on your hair. The A-cone likely won't fully come out with just cowashing the rest of the week, which could be a cause of the dryness. I would switch to a shampoo that contains only coco-betaine or cocamidopropyl betaine and no cones, and put some coconut oil and honey in your regular conditioner at least once a week and leave on your hair for a while. Also, I would suggest a leave in conditioner that contains fatty alcohols and/or panthenol. Usually hair masks have no conditioning properties.
2c-3a - coarse - normal-high porosity - high density - growing out to donate

NP/LP: KMF Whenever Conditioner/ YTCucs
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed DC / CJ Argan & Olive Oil, KCKT, YTBbs
DT: Coconut Oil + scalp massage
OIL/STYLER: SM Elixir / KCCC
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
sixelamy is correct, you should cut on harsh sulfates and silicones. Apart from that, I don't know your hair length but if your hair is really dry maybe it's damaged too by all those sulfates, it could help if you went to get a haircut to get off all the damaged ends and start anew.

No need to shave off the head or anything, or do a pixie cut even! Just chop what is already beyond repair. I had to do it, I hated that I had to but it's just better to grow out healthy hair than to keep those dry useless ends hanging on just because the idea of short hair or cutting it is so bad. (: and if you start avoiding harsh sulfates and silicones, taking out all of the damage is a great idea in any case.

Good luck! <3 updatesplz.
A 2C, hopefully something more as my hair gets redefined. Lots of chemical/heat damage to get rid of! Currently at shoulder length, aiming for mid-back.

(Any HtBlack you find anywhere on the internet is most likely always moi! :3)
The a-cone isn't going to come out with just cowash ing alone. You need a sulfate free shampoo with a bentaine ingredient in it. If you are going to continue to use a sulfate shampoo do not use apple cider vinegar. Apple cider vinegar can be very damaging to your hair & my be also contribution to the end dryness. I had that happen after I did an apple cider vinegar rinse.
Unfortunately, it's not just the Biota. The Suave Professionals has serious cones in it, and so does the Macadamia Mask. So the bad news is that you'll need to replace everything except the Suave Naturals Conditioner. The good news is that once you do a silicone free, sulfate poo (or a coco-betaine low-poo), and use CG products from there on out, you should have much better hair days.
rbb and sixelamy like this.
Peace,
Morgan

Baby Fine 3B, low porosity, normal density and elasticity
CGing since July 2008
Okay, the Macadamia Mask is almost gone so I won't re-purchase, and I guess I'll use the Suave Professionals as a shaving cream.

I'll need to find something ASAP to replace the Biota though, this should be fun.

I guess I'm going to be up all night reading about conditioners and no/low sulphate shampoos.

I hope this works, today was the last straw when I was finger combing my hair and the product build up was so bad some was coming off on my fingers. BLEH!

Thanks so much everyone!!
Also, if your hair is feeling like straw, you may have a protein overload. Try a moisturizing conditioner without protein or a deep condition with no protein.
2B Fine, low low porosity, medium density

Figuring out products to use on my wavy pixie!
If you have a Trader Joe's, their Peppermint Tea Tree Tingle Shampoo is a good low-poo with coco-betaine. (The conditioner in the same line is highly rated, and known for its slip.) If not, you could try Giovanni Tea Tree Shampoo, which isn't the bargain that the TJ's version is, but widely available.
Peace,
Morgan

Baby Fine 3B, low porosity, normal density and elasticity
CGing since July 2008
Okay, the Macadamia Mask is almost gone so I won't re-purchase, and I guess I'll use the Suave Professionals as a shaving cream.

I'll need to find something ASAP to replace the Biota though, this should be fun.

I guess I'm going to be up all night reading about conditioners and no/low sulphate shampoos.

I hope this works, today was the last straw when I was finger combing my hair and the product build up was so bad some was coming off on my fingers. BLEH!

Thanks so much everyone!!
Originally Posted by CurlyGinger93

Don't forget to do a final wash with sulfates to remove all of that, and then start fresh with no more sulfates and no silicones (most any ingredient ending in -cone, -xane, -conol - I haven't listed these in a while, so if I've forgotten any other suffixes she should avoid, someone speak up, please)
rbb likes this.
2C/3A/3B - mod. CG, med. to fine, normal to low porosity/normal elasticity

Current Main Rotation: MG217 medicated, GTTT or Aim2Health 'poos as scalp needs, YTCarrots or Elucence cond., Spiral Solutions Protein Trtmt & Deeply Decadent Cond., CJCCCC reg or lite, KCCC, AO Mandarin Magic, Giovanni LA Hold Hair Spritz + lots more, sporadically

HG Method: Super Soaker + Smasters-ing, brief upside down diffusing then clips or clamps & air dry. Blend gray w/henna glosses

www.fotki.com/auntnett
Also, if your hair is feeling like straw, you may have a protein overload. Try a moisturizing conditioner without protein or a deep condition with no protein.
Originally Posted by peachespeaches
I wouldn't worry about protein at this point. Your hair is dried out from no conditioning agents being able to penetrate your hair. Once you do a final clarifying wash and use products that don't build up (if doing CG method), it should get a lot better. If doing non-CG, I would recommend a low poo or sulfate and no cowash.

You'll get it figured out!
2c-3a - coarse - normal-high porosity - high density - growing out to donate

NP/LP: KMF Whenever Conditioner/ YTCucs
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed DC / CJ Argan & Olive Oil, KCKT, YTBbs
DT: Coconut Oil + scalp massage
OIL/STYLER: SM Elixir / KCCC
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
I still have to research the CG method more, but ideally I would like to do that I think. I'm not sure...this is all super new to me.

To give everyone a little more history, I started doing the baking soda/vinegar method about a year ago. It lasted for about 6 months until my hair started feeling gross/gummy when I washed with baking soda. I tried just co-washing after that but my hair got too oily/greasy. I then started washing with an Organix shampoo every 3-4 days and using the matching conditioner...co-washing with Suave in between. But the Organix gave me a rash on my back so I stopped using it. Now I've been using Biota every few days and co-washing with Suave in between. Usually also using the Suave Professionals Almond Shea Butter on the bottom half of my hair and finally rinsing with vinegar. So it's either Biota or Suave Naturals, then Suave Professionals, then vinegar rinse. THEN as a leave in I was using the Macadamia mask.

Which is what I've done up until now.

I looked at some info on here and I think I'm a solid 2B, maybe 2A on the underneath hair. I think my hair is med/high density and fine? I also think it's low porosity? It's also long, mid back. For the past year it has not been regularly heat styled or shampooed everyday.

I thought I was protein sensitive but when I did the stretch test my hair was pretty stretchy, so I'm not sure what to think.

I do know that the It's a 10 miracle leave in + keratin made my hair feel awful.

My hair is a tangled matted mess usually, especially at the name of my neck. My second day hair is straw like/dry and adding more leave in conditioner makes it worse, not better.

I was doing research and found the Acure Organics Argan oil shampoo/conditioner and I want to try that. I tend to be sensitive to chemicals so something "all natural" is appealing.

I was looking at the Renpure line too. There's so many options for shampoos and conditioners. Then it's do I co-wash, do I shampoo? Should I use vinegar still? What about oils? Are all "cones" bad? Just some? Sighh, I didn't know how complicated this was.

Thanks everyone for the replies!
You know you are making your life more complicated than you need to.

Keep it simple to start with.

Other posters have been helpful and have told you to:
1. Stop using vinegar in your hair - many people don't use vinegar at all.
2. Purchase a shampoo without cones in it and sulphate in it. (see Morgan_Adcock first post)
3. Use the Suave Naturals Conditioner you already have
4. Purchase some honey, coconut oil and a leave in conditioner with fatty alcohols and/or panthenol in it.
5. Wash your hair with your existing sulphate shampoo for the last time then deep condition with Suave Naturals Conditioner, honey and a very tiny bit of coconut oil, rinse and then use your leave in conditioner on your damp hair.
6. If your hair is long enough learn how to pineapple it, if it's not buy a satin bonnet or a satin pillowcase to sleep on.
7. Work with the products you have for a week.

Then see how your hair is from there. You may need to trim the ends of like a few other posters have already said.

You may not get second day hair - some people have difficultly getting it and have to wet their hair every day.

Just because a product is natural doesn't automatically mean it agrees with you otherwise people wouldn't have allergies to things like oranges, nuts and strawberries.

Only then start worrying about adding products to your regime. Add one different product at a time and use that product for a week. If it doesn't work then remove it from your regime.

Doing it this way will give you time to read about different products you might need like a gel and know what products you should avoid like certain silicones.

BTW your hair can feel yucky if you have a build up of silicones. Adding more just makes it feel worse.
WurlyLox likes this.
Welcome! Baking soda is alkaline so damaging to skin and hair, sulphate surfactants are not great either. You may be parky dealing with the fallout of damaging your hair as well as with build up.

Clarify and chelate then start over. Conditioner only washing is not for every wavy/ curly but should not leave your hair greasy, that suggests poor technique OR poor product/ ingredient choice.

Your routine seems heavy on occlusives (natural oils, butters, waxes, silicones), many of which build up if you do not cleanse effectively. Build up absolutely can cause frizz, tangling and a rough or 'dry' feeling. A true conditioner is based on the major emollients (cationic surfactants and fatty alcohols) which give slip/ detangling, softness, shine and smoothness usually without building up.
Morgan_Adcock likes this.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Boots Essentials gel
Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
Experimenting with: benign neglect
5. Wash your hair with your existing sulphate shampoo for the last time
Originally Posted by Blueblood
Don't do this step since your Biota has amodimethicone in it (unless you have a different shampoo that you didn't list). If you don't have a regular sulfate shampoo at home, buy a little travel size bottle of Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo at your local store, it's got Sodium Trideceth Sulfate so that's your final sulfate wash right there without investing in a whole other bottle of sulfate shampoo.

If your grocery store caries all the various L'Oreal lines, the Ever Pure line has sulfate-free shampoo (just in case you don't have a Trader Joe's or somewhere that carries Giovanni nearby, not everyone does).

2c/3a, fine, low porosity.

Poo: Garnier Fructis Pure Clean (yes, it has a mild sulfate, but I have Teflon hair)
Co-wash: VO5 Kiwi Lime Clarifying Conditioner
LI: GVPCB or
Keratin Complex Vanilla Bean Deep Conditioner (nothing to do with keratin straightening, just a nice conditioner)
Style: KCCC + Pantene Curl Shaping Gel (winter) or LALSG (summer)
Dry: Diffuse or air dry, depends on my mood

Curly red hair is beautiful by its very nature, so please don't despair.
WurlyLox likes this.

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I'd really just like to bang my head against the wall.

Okay, so tonight I washed my hair with a "normal" sulfate shampoo.
Then I conditioned with Suave Naturals with some almond oil added in there (just a little). I attempted to detangle and comb through my hair in the shower and ended up ripping a lot of hair out because after 15 minutes of gently finger combing...things just weren't getting any better.
It wasn't because of the shampoo or the conditioner, my hair is always...ALWAYS a matted mess by the end of the day. I have no idea why it gets so bad. It's the worst at the nape of my neck.
I feel like I've shed/ripped out so much hair because of tangles and matted hair.
I'd really just like to bang my head against the wall.

Okay, so tonight I washed my hair with a "normal" sulfate shampoo.
Then I conditioned with Suave Naturals with some almond oil added in there (just a little). I attempted to detangle and comb through my hair in the shower and ended up ripping a lot of hair out because after 15 minutes of gently finger combing...things just weren't getting any better.
It wasn't because of the shampoo or the conditioner, my hair is always...ALWAYS a matted mess by the end of the day. I have no idea why it gets so bad. It's the worst at the nape of my neck.
I feel like I've shed/ripped out so much hair because of tangles and matted hair.
Originally Posted by CurlyGinger93
Damaged hair may need to be cut off. Also, change doesn't happen overnight. One day of using products the "correct" way isn't going to change anything. You need to stick to a good, beneficial routine for a time.
WurlyLox likes this.
2c-3a - coarse - normal-high porosity - high density - growing out to donate

NP/LP: KMF Whenever Conditioner/ YTCucs
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed DC / CJ Argan & Olive Oil, KCKT, YTBbs
DT: Coconut Oil + scalp massage
OIL/STYLER: SM Elixir / KCCC
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
I can tell you right now, as someone who has seriously ODed on both silicones and protein, it can easily take more than one wash cycle to noticeably improve things. At one point it took a month and a half of bi-weekly shampooing to completely turn my hair around.

Along the lines of what Firefox said above, you might benefit most from a chelating shampoo, not just a regular sulfate shampoo. Follow that up each time with a protein-free deep conditioner (cover your head w/a plastic cap and a towel and leave it in for about 30-60 min.s so heat can help it penetrate).

I wouldn't cut all my hair off until I at least gave this a chance over time. Then again, I get how frustrating this is, so if you really don't think you have any more patience and want to cut it off and hit re-set, really there's nothing wrong w/that choice either IMO.
3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums
As someone above said, not everyone can co-wash, especially wavies - Even Lorraine Massey says this in the CG book.

I'm more than just wavy for the most part, and I can't do it. My hair is limp, greasy looking, less curly and my scalp hates it.
2C/3A/3B - mod. CG, med. to fine, normal to low porosity/normal elasticity

Current Main Rotation: MG217 medicated, GTTT or Aim2Health 'poos as scalp needs, YTCarrots or Elucence cond., Spiral Solutions Protein Trtmt & Deeply Decadent Cond., CJCCCC reg or lite, KCCC, AO Mandarin Magic, Giovanni LA Hold Hair Spritz + lots more, sporadically

HG Method: Super Soaker + Smasters-ing, brief upside down diffusing then clips or clamps & air dry. Blend gray w/henna glosses

www.fotki.com/auntnett
Yes, there are a lot of options as far as shampoos and conditioners are concerned, and most of them are not CG. That's why we're trying to give you suggestions for specific products which are. Many of the rest of us like things which are natural, organic and not full of chemicals too. For instance, here is the ingredients list for the low-poo which I suggested, Trader Joe`s Peppermint Tea Tree Tingle Shampoo:

purified water with *tea tree oil, *peppermint oil, *eucalptus oil, *rosemary oil, *nettle oil, *thyme oil, birch leaf oil, chamomile, *clary, *lavender, *coltsfoot leaf, *yarrow oil, *mallow, *horsetail oil, *soybean protein, C12-14 olefin sultanate, cocamidopropyl betaine, tocopheryl (vitamin E), trace minerals, citric acid (corn), sodium hydroxymethylglycinate, sodium chloride (sea salt), grapefruit seed.

The Acure Organics Shampoo, Moroccan Argan Oil + Argan Stem Cell:

Euterpe Oleracea (Acai Fruit) (Organic), Rubus Fruticosus (Blackberry) (Organic), Rosa Canina (Rose Hip) (Organic), Punica Granatum (Pomegranate) (Organic), Rooibos (Organic Fair Trade Certified), Aloe Barbadensis (Aloe Vera) Leaf Juice (Organic), Sodium Lauroyl Methyl Isethionate (from Coconut), Betaine (Sugar Beet) (100% Naturally Derived), Vegetable Glycerin, Sodium Methyl Cocoyl Taurate (from Coconut + Amino Acids), Sodium Cocoyl Glutamate (from Coconut + Amino Acids), Cocoglucoside Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride (Sugar Conditioner), Sodium Levulinate (from Corn), Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride (Guar Gum Conditioner), Potassium Sorbate (food grade preservative), Argania Spinosa (Argan) Oil (Organic), Olea Europaea (Olive) Oil (Organic Fair Trade Certified), D Alpha Tocopherol Acetate (Vitamin E), Hippophae Rhamnoides (Sea Buckthorn) Seed Oil, Curcubita Pepo (Pumpkin) Seed Oil (Organic), Ubiquinone (CoQ10), Argania Spinosa (Argan) Stem Cells, Glycerophosphoinositol Lysine (Sunflower), Almond Extract, Cinnamomum Aromaticum (Cassia Bark) Oil.

The Trader Joe`s Peppermint Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner (which has good slip):

purified water, with *tea tree, *peppermint oil, *eucalyptus oil, *nettle oil, *thyme oil, birch leaf oil, *chamomile oil, *clary, *coltsfoot leaf, *yarrow oil, *mallow, *horsetail oil, *soybean protein, acetyl alcohol, tocopheryl, trace minerals, citric acid, sodium hydroxymethylgycinate, grapefruit seed.

The Acure Organics Conditioner, Moroccan Argan Oil + Argan Stem Cell:

Euterpe Oleracea (Acai Fruit) (Organic), Rubus Fruticosus (Blackberry) (Organic), Rosa Canina (Rose Hip) (Organic), Punica Granatum (Pomegranate) (Organic), Rooibos (Organic Fair Trade Certified), Cetearyl Alcohol, Behentrimonium Chloride, Stearylkonium Chloride, Vegetable Glycerin, Glucono Delta Lactone (Fermented Sugar), Argania Spinosa (Argan) Oil (Organic), Cetearyl Glucoside (from Corn and Glucose), Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride (Guar Gum Conditioner), Glyceryl Stearate (Vegetable-derived), L Arginine (Amino Acid), Theobroma Cacao (Cocoa) Seed Butter (Organic Fair Trade Certified), Sorbitan Olivate (from Olives + Sugar), Panthenol (Pro Vitamin B5), Cellulose (Plant derived), D Alpha Tocopherol Acetate (Vitamin E), Lactic Acid (Vegetable derived), Hippophae Rhamnoides (Sea Buckthorn) Seed Oil, Curcubita Pepo (Pumpkin) Seed Oil (Organic), Ubiquinone (CoQ10), Argania Spinosa (Argan) Stem Cells, Glycerophosphoinositol Lysine (Sunflower), Prunus Dulcis (Sweet Almond) Extract, Cinnamomum Aromaticum (Cassia Bark) Oil.

So the Acure Organics looks okay, though I can't figure out why I'd want plant stem cells in my shampoo or conditioner, or all those chemicals. It's a lot more expensive ($9.99 for half as much as the TJ's at $3.99), but I'm certainly not in a good position to criticize what someone else spends on hair products.

When you detangle your hair, are you starting at the ends, and gradually working your way up? If you are, I suspect, as others have, that you may need to have your hair trimmed. If you aren't, I suggest modifying your technique.

I also think that would be extremely helpful to you to get a copy of Curly Girl: The Handbook (also available here). It explains the CG method (which comes from it's name), has clear illustrations of the techniques, and even comes with a DVD with videos which make it a lot easier to get a clear understanding.
sixelamy likes this.
Peace,
Morgan

Baby Fine 3B, low porosity, normal density and elasticity
CGing since July 2008

Last edited by Morgan_Adcock; 11-14-2013 at 02:59 PM.

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