View Poll Results: At what age do you feel it's appropriate to wax your daughter's eyebrows, expecially if she has a un
10.5 to 11 years old if she looks like Helga Pitaki 11 18.64%
12 years old 5 8.47%
at least 13 years old, not a day sooner regardless of whether other kids are making fun of her. 3 5.08%
When SHE asks, therefore letting the decision be hers. 40 67.80%
None of the above. I either have a son or like natural bushy brows. 0 0%
Voters: 59. You may not vote on this poll

At what age is appropriate to wax your daughter's unibrow?

I remember in middle school finding out one of my friends got her eyebrows waxed. She was ahead of the rest of us as far as physical development went, and we all thought the idea of having eyebrows waxed was totally weird. However, this girl was made fun of already for stupid reasons. Had she had a unibrow, people would have made fun of her for that, too. I am a voice for dissent, apparently, because I know how cruel the kids in my middle school could be, and that usually people are stuck with their middle school peers through high school, and it can be distracting even then. I think her mom saying "let's just clean up stray hairs between your eyebrows" is a lot less harmful than some of the things middle schoolers would say. Which wouldn't be so easy to live down.
Originally Posted by NetG
I agree.
If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
I remember in middle school finding out one of my friends got her eyebrows waxed. She was ahead of the rest of us as far as physical development went, and we all thought the idea of having eyebrows waxed was totally weird. However, this girl was made fun of already for stupid reasons. Had she had a unibrow, people would have made fun of her for that, too. I am a voice for dissent, apparently, because I know how cruel the kids in my middle school could be, and that usually people are stuck with their middle school peers through high school, and it can be distracting even then. I think her mom saying "let's just clean up stray hairs between your eyebrows" is a lot less harmful than some of the things middle schoolers would say. Which wouldn't be so easy to live down.
Originally Posted by NetG
I agree.
Originally Posted by KatieCoolLady
I do aswell. It's not like you are complaining about her haircut or her choice of clothes, this is something that she has no control over. Kids get teased over so many things, if this can make it one less, go for it...if she is up for it.

I see this more in the realm of wearing deoderant and learning how to apply makeup than really critiquing your child. These are the type of things that Moms are supposed to help with!
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn
I also voted for waiting until it bothers her. Girls get so self-conscious and down on their looks in their teens anyway, I wouldn't want to start early.
I also voted for waiting until it bothers her. Girls get so self-conscious and down on their looks in their teens anyway, I wouldn't want to start early.
Originally Posted by SuZen
Would you not want to help them out early then, so they can avoid alot of the jokes and mean cooments they will come from peers?

Rememeber, I don't have kids, just just shooting my mouth off here I would just think that a parent would do whatever they can to help there child from being teased. This is such a small issue, but a nasty nickname that could last so long

I had horrible, horrible acne when I was in grade 5, so about 10 or 11. My Mom got me set up on a cleansing program and my face was clear within weeks, and I have had clear skin ever since. I think it would have been so cruel for her to have waited until I asked for help.
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn
I remeber being a pre-teen / teenager. Everytime my mother suggested something about my looks, it felt like an insult - even if it was not meant that way.

I know you want what is best for your daughter. I know you don't want her to be ridiculed. That is wonderful. But - if you push her it may be another step to push her away.

The mother/daughter relationship is hard enough during the teenage years. Personally, I would be leary of doing something that might make it worse - even if you have the best intentions.
Better everyone think your a fool, than to open your mouth and prove them right.

Perception is not reality.

http://public.fotki.com/hmiklos
I would wait till she asks but drop hints before that, as someone else already said. In a couple of years if not before you'll have to talk to her about getting a bra, deodorant, etc. so if she hasn't brought up waxing/shaving by then, you could do it at that time.

I don't think you can either predict all the things kids will tease other kids for or try to pre-empt all those things. Kids can be cruel about anything they want if they don't like someone. And I don't like the idea of changing something one may like or be indifferent to just because of a few jerks in elementary school.

I think it is better to teach a kid healthy self-esteem so they can deal with and shake off any teasing and bullying that may come their way and understand that it does not define them rather than catering to the whims of the meanest, ugliest people out there. That would just give the bullies the idea that harassing people works and gives them what they want.

People who are bullied because of their name, skin colour, accent, socio-economic status, parents' situation, height etc. etc. etc. can't change those things, so they are going to have to deal with it anyway. Should a kid with curly hair straighten it because they are being teased about it? Or dye their hair if someone makes fun of the colour?

I think teasing about a unibrow would also depend on the makeup of your daughter's class. My school had a lot of girls of Indian, Greek, Italian and Lebanese descent who tended to be quite hairy due to their ethnic origins, so many of them had unibrows (and upper lip hair, leg hair etc.) and it wasn't really a big deal. Most of their parents let them wax at about 12 or 13.

Scary, I think it's great that your daughter is still comfortable with herself. She will likely have years ahead to be obsessed with her looks, hair, weight etc. so let her enjoy these precious few years!
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











How is this really much different than getting her hair cut? Or asking her to brush it? Though she is young, doesn't it fall under the grooming category?

She may not care now, but in a few years it could bother her ( look back at your 5 & 6th grade pictures! ) and we all know kids can be very cruel. I 'd feel badly for my daughter if I knew she was being teased at school or ended up with some immature nickname the kids gave her because of something that could easily be managed.


My 11.5 year old is very fair, you'd have to draw brows on her to see them, but she's already asked to shave her legs ( I said no) . She's kinda of a girly girl, but she doesn't like fuss of certain things (she usually pulls her hair back in a ponytail) maintaining her nails on her own... but she has become more aware of hygiene and started cleaning her face at night. I'm a product junkie, but I'm very careful to not push things on her besides good basic grooming and hygiene. No makeup ( just for play) I don't push her to style or wear her hair a certain way.

I want her to develop a sense of self, and I know in a couple of years she will be getting more influence from her peers- It's something I remember was a tough time, but it's a fine line to help your children feel good about themselves but still guiding them when needed.
Don't let your heart be broken. Let it love.
How is this really much different than getting her hair cut? Or asking her to brush it? Though she is young, doesn't it fall under the grooming category?
Originally Posted by Spider
That's what I am thinking too. If she needed a haircut, I don't think mom would wait until she asked for one. You'd just go get her a haircut.

Or if she needed to wear deoderant, I don't think anyone would wait until she asked for it. Or if she needed to wear a bra, etc..

I don't think it will be a problem to get her eyebrows done unless mom makes a big deal about it. Otherwise, it's just like any other grooming issue.
If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
Whoops. Totally did not mean that as an insult. I meant that it gives her an air of glamor unbefitting of her station in life, or whatever reason you had for wanting to wax it.

You're the one who compared your daughter to Helga Pataki Which is, seriously, why I chose that word.


Nevertheless, please excuse me while I huddle in mortification.
Originally Posted by Eilonwy
Oh, I didn't take it as an insult, so no need to huddle. LOL I just suggested it to her and thought to "myself" that she looked like Helga. I would never say anything to her that would hurt her self-esteem. I didn't tell her that she looked like Helga. (Just for the record).
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I think you should only do it if she expresses discontent with her eyebrows. Otherwise I feel like you would be sending the message that there is something wrong with her and reinforcing the idea that a girl's value lies in how she looks.

i
so yeah, i think that whenever she is conscious of it and wants it done, you should go ahead.

is she bothered by them at all?

m
Originally Posted by mayim
She is at such a stage right now that she doesn't care if she leaves the house without her hair brushed! Drives me crazy. She is totally regressing. NOTHING bothers her. She is even starting to get tiny pimples and blackheads around her little nose. So I did buy her acne products that if I didn't apply everynight before bedtime, she would bother with that either.
Originally Posted by ScaryCurl

My daughter went through the same stage, hell at 13 there are days she still doesn't feel like bathing(only if she's not going out). I used to take her with me when I got my eyebrows done, she would ask questions and I would tell her I liked how my eyebrows looked. Eventually she asked if she could get hers done. I take her 2x a month for a clean up. They don't make them too thin where she looks so grown up. She just looks like a normal 13 yr old She was about your daughters age when she first had them done. We stick to waxing and I pluck her stray hairs in between. I do the threading for myself but I think for her it still a little painful.

Let her know the option is there if she wants it. If she's comfortable with the way she looks let her be.
I don't think that they are the same at all. You are ripping hair out of her face - not trimming it. No one really needs to get their eyebrows waxed - just like no one needs to get ears pierced, or hair dyed. That is more of a vanity thing IMO.

I know she may regret it later on, but isn't it better to look back and wish that you had chosen differently, than to be forced into a choice in the first place?
Better everyone think your a fool, than to open your mouth and prove them right.

Perception is not reality.

http://public.fotki.com/hmiklos
I say to wait until it bothers her, and don't push her. My mom had a habit of trying to "fix" me and many times I didn't even see a problem with myself until she began pointing it out. I still hate her for some of the things she tried to do.
Originally Posted by Aries_jb
I know how you feel. My mom did the same thing to me. Ironically, she and her sisters would call me "Jane Hathaway" when I was going through my "awkward (ugly) stage." There they all sat with their straight hair, none of them had a clue of how to fix mine. They were always wanting to comb perms through my hair to straighten it. These were the cheap, over the counter, do-it-yourself perms. My hair was a fried mess and Tame conditioner was it. It scarred me.

I don't want anyone to think I'm not pushing her at all. I mentioned it once or twice. She was quite clear that she did not want to be touched, so I let it go. I was just interested in seeing what the majority thought about the situation. I appreciate all of the votes and responses! I remember practically being hog-tied and having my brows tweezed down to barely nothing. They really never recovered or came back in right. I actually have to fill parts in with an eye-brow kit. So based on all the feedback and personal experience, I've definitely decided to leave her alone and let the decision be hers.
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I would not be happy that my mother was so bothered by my eyebrows that she would try to get me to let her wax them and would bring home products for my skin. My mother did that kind of thing to me and it ate at my self esteem. If she comes to you then offer help. Otherwise I would just leave her alone. You are sending the message that something is wrong with her.
Originally Posted by internetchick
I can definitely understand the eyebrow thing. However, I don't see why anyone would have a problem with teaching their pre*****cent child basic hygiene for the skin to help prevent acne. I know many more people who have been scarred emotionally and physically from acne and acne scars than having a mother care enough to show them proper skin care. She wouldn't wear sunscreen while swimming if I didn't slather it all over her to protect her. For some reason, she has totally regressed. I've read it's a normal stage kids go through. There are days I have to tell her to brush her teeth too. Eyebrow waxing is totally cosmetic and unnecessary like wearing make-up. However, skin care, bathing, and brushing the teeth fall under basic hygiene and that's a totally different issue. I doubt you would see anyone post a poll asking whether they should force their child to bathe or let them make the decision. LOL Know what I mean?
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I think her mom saying "let's just clean up stray hairs between your eyebrows" is a lot less harmful than some of the things middle schoolers would say. Which wouldn't be so easy to live down.
Originally Posted by NetG
Thank you. That's exactly why I mentioned it. She's got my eyebrow. I remember being called a werewolf or something cruel like that, which is why I let my aunt even do it. Like I said, I wasn't going to give her a drastic arch, just remove a few strays from the middle to give her two.
Hair type: 3C. Favorite products for the moment: CONDITIONER: Elucence MBC, LEAVE-IN COND: Curls Rock. CURL ENHANCER: Frederic Fekkai Luscious Curls. GEL: Ouidad Climate Control (HG), FINISHING: Frederic Fekkai Glossing Creme.
How is this really much different than getting her hair cut? Or asking her to brush it? Though she is young, doesn't it fall under the grooming category?
Originally Posted by Spider
That's what I am thinking too. If she needed a haircut, I don't think mom would wait until she asked for one. You'd just go get her a haircut.

Or if she needed to wear deoderant, I don't think anyone would wait until she asked for it. Or if she needed to wear a bra, etc..

I don't think it will be a problem to get her eyebrows done unless mom makes a big deal about it. Otherwise, it's just like any other grooming issue.
Originally Posted by KatieCoolLady
I don't think they are the same thing. Bathing, brushing her teeth and brushing her hair are things that she needs to do not only for others but mainly for herself. For her health. Deoderant, eybrow and lip waxing, shaving legs and under arms while yes they are part of grooming seem to be more about vanity issues. Does it look good? She's going to get to the does it look nice stage eventually. Why push her on it?
It's not like you are complaining about her haircut or her choice of clothes, this is something that she has no control over. Kids get teased over so many things, if this can make it one less, go for it...if she is up for it.

I see this more in the realm of wearing deoderant and learning how to apply makeup than really critiquing your child. These are the type of things that Moms are supposed to help with!
Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian
I wouldn't class applying makeup as being in the same category as wearing deoderant. The latter is a matter of personal hygiene whilst the other is an entirely optional thing. The unibrow probably falls somewhere in between, but it's still more an aesthetic decision than anything.

For this reason, I think it is more important to try to gauge when she wants it (if she ever does, who knows?), than trying to act too pre-emptively and making her feel insecure. Her teens are just around the corner, so heaven knows she's already got a lot of self-consciousness to look forward to.

To tell you the truth, it's kinda odd reading this. I went to middle school with a girl who had a slight unibrow and kept trying to shave it off, much to her mother's annoyance (she thought it was beautiful).
Depilating your eyebrows or bodyhair is not "hygiene." It's cosmetic/aesthetic grooming. Saying it's hygiene implies somethings for purposes of cleanliness and health. Removing your body hair of any is actually neither. She's 10. Let her be 10. She's a child not an adult. She has the rest of her life to obsess over this stuff if she wants to, if it even matters to her at all. One of the times I felt worse about myself was when I was 11 or 12 and my mother drug me to the dermatologist about my skin. I had gotten exactly two small pimples. (I hadn't really noticed them to the point they bothered me.) I felt hideous, eventhough I know now and probably knew then she thought she was 'helping' me.

Many women, maybe even most, don't care about grooming their eyebrows. Until recently, I can't even remember anything other than plucking the occasional stray hair as being what people did to their eyebrows. Honestly, I think the whole eyebrow "grooming" business was just away of making women feel insecure about and that only an "expert" could fix.

BTW -- I'm 41 and had my eyebrows waxed for the first time two years ago. I didn't have anything else done to them until this year, when I've had them plucked/shaped about 3 times.
It's not like you are complaining about her haircut or her choice of clothes, this is something that she has no control over. Kids get teased over so many things, if this can make it one less, go for it...if she is up for it.

I see this more in the realm of wearing deoderant and learning how to apply makeup than really critiquing your child. These are the type of things that Moms are supposed to help with!
Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian
I wouldn't class applying makeup as being in the same category as wearing deoderant. The latter is a matter of personal hygiene whilst the other is an entirely optional thing. The unibrow probably falls somewhere in between, but it's still more an aesthetic decision than anything.

For this reason, I think it is more important to try to gauge when she wants it (if she ever does, who knows?), than trying to act too pre-emptively and making her feel insecure. Her teens are just around the corner, so heaven knows she's already got a lot of self-consciousness to look forward to.

To tell you the truth, it's kinda odd reading this. I went to middle school with a girl who had a slight unibrow and kept trying to shave it off, much to her mother's annoyance (she thought it was beautiful).
Originally Posted by jeamaria
Technically is deoderant really hygeine. You can be just as clean without it but it is customary in our society to wear it because we find certain smells unpleasant.

Just as we find unibrows unpleasant to look at generally.
If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
I also voted for waiting until it bothers her. Girls get so self-conscious and down on their looks in their teens anyway, I wouldn't want to start early.
Originally Posted by SuZen
Exactly. If she's comfortable with it, why push on her that Mommy thinks it's unattractive?

Just let her know there are options available, but don't harp on it.

(My niece had a fine unibrow going. She saw me plucking my eyebrows once when she was 10 or so, and asked what I was doing. I told her, and showed her, then she asked if SHE could, too, so we called her mom, got the ok, and went for it. She now, at 13, plucks when she thinks of it.)
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