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View Poll Results: At what age do you feel it's appropriate to wax your daughter's eyebrows, expecially if she has a un
10.5 to 11 years old if she looks like Helga Pitaki 11 18.64%
12 years old 5 8.47%
at least 13 years old, not a day sooner regardless of whether other kids are making fun of her. 3 5.08%
When SHE asks, therefore letting the decision be hers. 40 67.80%
None of the above. I either have a son or like natural bushy brows. 0 0%
Voters: 59. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 11-02-2006, 08:07 AM   #41
 
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Originally Posted by jennyfurrens
definately wait till it bothers her. 10.5 is a little young IMO for a girl to have to care about her looks. at 13 i was still wearing bright orange cords, with frizzy hair and no makeup. i think its beautiful to see a young kid still looking like a kid rather than a minature adult. don't force the vanity of adulthood on her too early. sorry if that sounds harsh but it scares me to see 8 y/o's with pierced bellybuttons and manicured nails. since this is a curly hair board i should metnion that i had a poodle hair do till i was about 14 and worked out how to care for it. obviouslly it upset me a litlte that i got teased for it but i didnt care in a vain manner.

if you put pressure on her to remove her monobrow or to get rid of pimples at such a young age you may start to pressure her to look good all the time. thats too much pressure for a 10 y/o. hell i was still playing in the park with muddy jeans when i was 10!
Heck, I was playing in the creek catching crawdads and salamanders until I was 14 while other girls were reading Harlequin romances and putting baby oil on their legs before gym class. I've already told her that if she pierces anything other than her ears before she's 18, I'll rip them out. Her dad told her that if she pierces her tongue, even at 30, he'd knock her out. LOL As far as manicured nails, when she's 16 and has a job she can pay for those herself. I can't afford to have that done every two weeks, so I'll be danged if she gets them. Like I tried to stress, I wasn't out to give her a groomed look. Removing a few hairs between her eyebrows is something natural looking that most people probably wouldn't even notice unlike a unibrow. As Netg pointed out, I was actually trying to prevent her from experiencing the ridicule that I went through that still scars me to this day. I too had the poodle look and was called "wool-head" even up until high-school. Now these same people compliment me on my hair all the time. Ha!

I'm still not getting why anyone would have a problem with trying to teach a pre-teen how to prevent pimples. This same child I'm trying to teach skin care to told me about one girl in her class (whose mother sells Avon...go figure) whose acne is so bad, she is teased unmercifully. I'd rather my mom hand me a Clearasil pad every night than be called pizza face, but I'm obviously the minority.
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Old 11-02-2006, 08:14 AM   #42
 
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I'm stuck between letting her decide and as soon as a unibrow gets noticeable. I see eyebrow waxing/tweezing as a part of personal grooming, so it's something that should be taught and encouraged, especially for those of us who are hairy. But I agree with the baisc argument that if it doesn't bother her, why bother.

I'm no help at all, am I? Considering how hairy I am and how much I hated that my mother made me wait until I was 13 to get my eyebrows waxed, I'm biased towards gently pushing her to tweeze.
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Old 11-02-2006, 08:18 AM   #43
 
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Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian
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Originally Posted by KatieCoolLady
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Originally Posted by NetG
I remember in middle school finding out one of my friends got her eyebrows waxed. She was ahead of the rest of us as far as physical development went, and we all thought the idea of having eyebrows waxed was totally weird. However, this girl was made fun of already for stupid reasons. Had she had a unibrow, people would have made fun of her for that, too. I am a voice for dissent, apparently, because I know how cruel the kids in my middle school could be, and that usually people are stuck with their middle school peers through high school, and it can be distracting even then. I think her mom saying "let's just clean up stray hairs between your eyebrows" is a lot less harmful than some of the things middle schoolers would say. Which wouldn't be so easy to live down.
I agree.
I do aswell. It's not like you are complaining about her haircut or her choice of clothes, this is something that she has no control over. Kids get teased over so many things, if this can make it one less, go for it...if she is up for it.

I see this more in the realm of wearing deoderant and learning how to apply makeup than really critiquing your child. These are the type of things that Moms are supposed to help with!
Thank you all for seeing my point. BTW, she wouldn't wear deodorant if I didn't remind her everyday. Am I wrong for doing that too?

Maybe I am a little more protective of her because of things I wished my mom would have suggested. I do push her to join clubs and extra-curricular activities, otherwise she'd be a couch potato. I was the oldest of four, my mom didn't work, we had one car, so after school, I got to do absolutely nothing. I just want more for her than I had.

One thing she didn't get from me (from birth and I don't know how) is one ounce of curl. A lot of times we would go out and I would get compliments on my hair. About a year ago, (this was too funny) she and I went to two stores and I was actually hit on by young guys. She said, "that's it! I'm getting a perm!" She begged and begged. So I let her have her hair permed (bad idea) when she was 8. But, that was her choice. Now that the hormones are kicking in, her hair is getting curlier. She's ecstatic about that. I'm always telling her that she is going to have the perfect amount of curl and that I wish I had her hair.
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Old 11-02-2006, 08:24 AM   #44
 
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Originally Posted by KatieCoolLady
Technically is deoderant really hygiene. You can be just as clean without it but it is customary in our society to wear it because we find certain smells unpleasant.
Well, deoderants are officially classed as cosmetics, but I would consider this a point of hygiene as the odor is caused by microbes that like the warm humid stuff the body is secreting.
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Old 11-02-2006, 08:33 AM   #45
 
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Originally Posted by three rivers curly
I don't think that they are the same at all. You are ripping hair out of her face - not trimming it. No one really needs to get their eyebrows waxed - just like no one needs to get ears pierced, or hair dyed. That is more of a vanity thing IMO.
Okay, let me ask you this. If your daughter had hair under her arms and wanted to go out in a tank, would you not consider handing her a razor? I don't think that's so much a vanity issue as much as what western society expects women to look like. There's no way I'd my daughter go out in a tank, bathing suit, etc. looking like she had Chewbacka" in a headlock. She would definitely be teased for that...any girl would, which would be way more detrimental in the esteem department.

She has just started wearing a training bra. A friend of mine gave me a few that her daughter grew out of and thankfully, mine took it upon herself to put it on.

Ironically she has already asked to shave her legs. Of course I said no. She is pretty dark complected, especially during the summer and her hair is a dark blonde so the hair on her legs isn't really noticeable becauses it matches the color of her skin.
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Old 11-02-2006, 08:34 AM   #46
 
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Heck, I was playing in the creek catching crawdads and salamanders until I was 14 while other girls were reading Harlequin romances and putting baby oil on their legs before gym class
Why were they putting on baby oil? Were they using it as lotion, or the way a lot of people use it to look "hot" at the beach or in music videos nowadays?

Also, I don't think you are in the minority where acne is concerned. It is a medical condition, much more than just a vanity or cosmetic issue.

BTW, I am sure your daughters curls are going to be very beautiful. But your hair is too, as is that of so many people with much tighter and much looser curls than I think you are describing, so it's a little unfair to speak of the "perfect amount of curl".
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Old 11-02-2006, 08:39 AM   #47
 
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Originally Posted by Yoly
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Originally Posted by KatieCoolLady
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How is this really much different than getting her hair cut? Or asking her to brush it? Though she is young, doesn't it fall under the grooming category?
That's what I am thinking too. If she needed a haircut, I don't think mom would wait until she asked for one. You'd just go get her a haircut.

Or if she needed to wear deoderant, I don't think anyone would wait until she asked for it. Or if she needed to wear a bra, etc..

I don't think it will be a problem to get her eyebrows done unless mom makes a big deal about it. Otherwise, it's just like any other grooming issue.
I don't think they are the same thing. Bathing, brushing her teeth and brushing her hair are things that she needs to do not only for others but mainly for herself. For her health. Deoderant, eybrow and lip waxing, shaving legs and under arms while yes they are part of grooming seem to be more about vanity issues. Does it look good? She's going to get to the does it look nice stage eventually. Why push her on it?
I'm sorry, but I definitely have to disagree about the deodorant issue. The hormones are kicking in and if the child didn't wear anti-perspirant, she'd smell like a construction worker after a 12 hour shift. I didn't even consider it until I caught a wiff of her over the summer after she had been playing all day. She had bathed that morning, but literally took my breath when she raised her arms. I didn't say a word to her for fear of embarrassing her. I merely suggested she try some of my deodorant the next morning. I vividly remember several kids being ridiculed for having "B.O." I remind her every morning after brushing her teeth if she remembered her deodorant. She thanks me for it.
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Old 11-02-2006, 08:40 AM   #48
 
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Originally Posted by jeamaria
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Heck, I was playing in the creek catching crawdads and salamanders until I was 14 while other girls were reading Harlequin romances and putting baby oil on their legs before gym class
Why were they putting on baby oil? Were they using it as lotion, or the way a lot of people use it to look "hot" at the beach or in music videos nowadays?

Also, I don't think you are in the minority where acne is concerned. It is a medical condition, much more than just a vanity or cosmetic issue.

BTW, I am sure your daughters curls are going to be very beautiful. But your hair is too, as is that of so many people with much tighter and much looser curls than I think you are describing, so it's a little unfair to speak of the "perfect amount of curl".
I think people used to use baby oil as a (very dangerous) way to accelerate a tan, right?

Agree about the perfect amount of curl comment. I guess what Scary means though is that her daughter is going to have what SHE, Scary, considers the perfect amount of curl. Hopefully she doesn't mean that she thinks there is an arbitrary perfect amount of curl that is the same for everyone.
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Old 11-02-2006, 08:42 AM   #49
 
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I would say deoderant is a necessity rather than vanity.

I know people who use baby oil as a body moisturiser but that would only work if your skin was damp before you put it on.
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Old 11-02-2006, 08:50 AM   #50
 
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Originally Posted by jeamaria
Quote:
Heck, I was playing in the creek catching crawdads and salamanders until I was 14 while other girls were reading Harlequin romances and putting baby oil on their legs before gym class
Why were they putting on baby oil? Were they using it as lotion, or the way a lot of people use it to look "hot" at the beach or in music videos nowadays?
I guess to make their shaved legs look extra smooth by giving them a shine.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeamaria
Also, I don't think you are in the minority where acne is concerned. It is a medical condition, much more than just a vanity or cosmetic issue.
Thank you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeamaria
BTW, I am sure your daughters curls are going to be very beautiful. But your hair is too, as is that of so many people with much tighter and much looser curls than I think you are describing, so it's a little unfair to speak of the "perfect amount of curl".
Thanks for the compliment. I told her that her hair is beautiful and she is going to have the perfect amount of curl because she was really getting jealous from the compliments I was receiving with my super tight coils.

In lieu of the topic of this thread, I do go out of my way to compliment her in every way. My self-esteem was very low during my pre-teen and teen years.

I let her wear her hair however she wants even though I'm dying to put a pretty french braid in it or pull her sides up to show off her face more. She is a beautiful little girl inside and out and I let her know it everyday.
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Old 11-02-2006, 08:56 AM   #51
 
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Originally Posted by Amneris
I think people used to use baby oil as a (very dangerous) way to accelerate a tan, right?
Not in this case. We had indoor gym class and these were cheerleaders wanting shiny legs. I remember asking one why she was applying baby oil and she said, "duh, so the boys will notice my legs."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amneris
Agree about the perfect amount of curl comment. I guess what Scary means though is that her daughter is going to have what SHE, Scary, considers the perfect amount of curl. Hopefully she doesn't mean that she thinks there is an arbitrary perfect amount of curl that is the same for everyone.
Kind of. I don't believe there is a "perfect" amount of curl. She has just made several comments that she wish she had my hair so I was trying to build her esteem by telling her that I wish I had her hair. Know what I mean?
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Old 11-02-2006, 09:11 AM   #52
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You sound like a great mom Scarycurl. I also agree with you about the acne.
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Old 11-02-2006, 09:32 AM   #53
 
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This is an interesting topic. I would agree with everyone else that says you should wait until she asks about it.

A few years ago I ran into one of my daughter's classmates at the nail salon getting a manicure, pedicure and eyebrow wax. She was 6 years old and getting ready for a pageant.

I was really upset about that one for a while. No 6 year old should be getting her eyebrows waxed to look better in a pageant. Lost much respect for her mom that day.
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Old 11-02-2006, 09:38 AM   #54
 
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Originally Posted by solange
This is an interesting topic. I would agree with everyone else that says you should wait until she asks about it.

A few years ago I ran into one of my daughter's classmates at the nail salon getting a manicure, pedicure and eyebrow wax. She was 6 years old and getting ready for a pageant.

I was really upset about that one for a while. No 6 year old should be getting her eyebrows waxed to look better in a pageant. Lost much respect for her mom that day.
I don't really think a 6 year old has any business being IN a pageant.
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Old 11-02-2006, 09:40 AM   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by solange
This is an interesting topic. I would agree with everyone else that says you should wait until she asks about it.

A few years ago I ran into one of my daughter's classmates at the nail salon getting a manicure, pedicure and eyebrow wax. She was 6 years old and getting ready for a pageant.

I was really upset about that one for a while. No 6 year old should be getting her eyebrows waxed to look better in a pageant. Lost much respect for her mom that day.


At six, I don't think my eyebrows were even very visible. Maybe that's just how it was for me, but they certainly didn't need to be waxed...
And I agree with Amneris - a six year old in a pageant?

Sarah
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Old 11-02-2006, 09:41 AM   #56
 
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Originally Posted by SarahCurlyGirl
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Originally Posted by solange
This is an interesting topic. I would agree with everyone else that says you should wait until she asks about it.

A few years ago I ran into one of my daughter's classmates at the nail salon getting a manicure, pedicure and eyebrow wax. She was 6 years old and getting ready for a pageant.

I was really upset about that one for a while. No 6 year old should be getting her eyebrows waxed to look better in a pageant. Lost much respect for her mom that day.


At six, I don't think my eyebrows were even very visible. Maybe that's just how it was for me, but they certainly didn't need to be waxed...
And I agree with Amneris - a six year old in a pageant?

Sarah
Please. They start them as babies. By 6, pageants are old hat for a lot of them.
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Old 11-02-2006, 10:10 AM   #57
 
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The sad part is that she seemed totally unfazed about the waxing - I'm doubtful that it was her 1st time.
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Old 11-02-2006, 11:06 AM   #58
 
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If I had a daughter with hairy pits and she wanted to go outside in a tank top, I'd let her. Why not? b/c of what other people might say or think? Why do we spend so much time caring about that? It's an issue of societal aesthetics. (BTW -- Many AA women and Latina women I've seen and known don't shave legs or pits.) I went to college with women who didn't shave their pits or legs. They were fine and comfortable with themselves and had no problems in the men department.

If it's a question of you not wanting others to make fun of your child, where does that concern stop? What if the other girls in gym are making fun of a 12 or 13 year old who doesn't have a Brazilian Wax or pattern trimmed or waxed pubic hair? How about the fact she isn't wearing thongs or buying lingerie at VS? (Trust me. I've seen too many barely *****cent girls in there for my tastes.) Scaryc, I know you mean really well, but I think you're also projecting your fears and prior experiences onto your daughter.

Deodorant isn't hygiene. It's grooming and aesthetics. THere are plenty of healthy people who don't wear deodorant or antiperspirant. There are cultures where it isn't even heard of. Can anyone point me to one disease or condition that's the result of not wearing deodorant or antiperspirant.
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Old 11-02-2006, 11:11 AM   #59
 
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I agree that you should wait until she asks to have her eyebrows groomed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieCoolLady
Technically is deoderant really hygeine. You can be just as clean without it but it is customary in our society to wear it because we find certain smells unpleasant.

Just as we find unibrows unpleasant to look at generally.
I'm guessing you've never ridden crowded public transportation during the summertime.
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Old 11-02-2006, 11:12 AM   #60
 
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Originally Posted by Discgirl
If I had a daughter with hairy pits and she wanted to go outside in a tank top, I'd let her. Why not? b/c of what other people might say or think? Why do we spend so much time caring about that? It's an issue of societal aesthetics. (BTW -- Many AA women and Latina women I've seen and known don't shave legs or pits.) I went to college with women who didn't shave their pits or legs. They were fine and comfortable with themselves and had no problems in the men department.

If it's a question of you not wanting others to make fun of your child, where does that concern stop? What if the other girls in gym are making fun of a 12 or 13 year old who doesn't have a Brazilian Wax or pattern trimmed or waxed pubic hair? How about the fact she isn't wearing thongs or buying lingerie at VS? (Trust me. I've seen too many barely *****cent girls in there for my tastes.) Scaryc, I know you mean really well, but I think you're also projecting your fears and prior experiences onto your daughter.

Deodorant isn't hygiene. It's grooming and aesthetics. THere are plenty of healthy people who don't wear deodorant or antiperspirant. There are cultures where it isn't even heard of. Can anyone point me to one disease or condition that's the result of not wearing deodorant or antiperspirant.
Exactly what I was saying.
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