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View Poll Results: At what age do you feel it's appropriate to wax your daughter's eyebrows, expecially if she has a un
10.5 to 11 years old if she looks like Helga Pitaki 11 18.64%
12 years old 5 8.47%
at least 13 years old, not a day sooner regardless of whether other kids are making fun of her. 3 5.08%
When SHE asks, therefore letting the decision be hers. 40 67.80%
None of the above. I either have a son or like natural bushy brows. 0 0%
Voters: 59. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 11-02-2006, 11:13 AM   #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemini13
I agree that you should wait until she asks to have her eyebrows groomed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieCoolLady
Technically is deoderant really hygeine. You can be just as clean without it but it is customary in our society to wear it because we find certain smells unpleasant.

Just as we find unibrows unpleasant to look at generally.
I'm guessing you've never ridden crowded public transportation during the summertime.
I'm definitely an advocate for wearing deoderant. I was just trying to make a point.
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Old 11-02-2006, 11:15 AM   #62
 
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Originally Posted by KatieCoolLady
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemini13
I agree that you should wait until she asks to have her eyebrows groomed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieCoolLady
Technically is deoderant really hygeine. You can be just as clean without it but it is customary in our society to wear it because we find certain smells unpleasant.

Just as we find unibrows unpleasant to look at generally.
I'm guessing you've never ridden crowded public transportation during the summertime.
I'm definitely an advocate for wearing deoderant. I was just trying to But sake a point.
Sometimes it's not just a matter of personal hygeine. It can be an issue of public safety!
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Old 11-02-2006, 11:29 AM   #63
 
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I wish my mother had the same attitude as you. I spent my entire childhood and teen years with a MAJOR Bert unibrow, thanks to my dad. But she thought it was beautiful, and everyone would always say, "Wow your daughter has beautiful eyebrows." Which I guess was cool at the age of 10, but when I was 15, 16, and all the girls were getting their eyebrows done, and were beautifully sculpted, I asked mom if I could get mine done and she FREAKED about how girls with waxed or tweezed brows look whorish.

Then when I was 18, I went to get my nails done at the nail salon with my sister-in-law, and she got her eyebrows waxed, and they looked so neat and cute. So I said "Ya know what, screw that!" I asked my nail technician to take me to the wax room and she got my eyebrows in the most beautiful, perfect, Brooke Shieldesque arches I have ever seen. And I had TWO eyebrows! I felt like a million bucks!

When I got home that evening, my mother FLIPPED out and said I looked like a slut. My sister-in-law just sat there like " " I was so mortified! But her little comments wouldn't let me stop from getting my eyebrows done. I felt a million times better. Mom is used to it now, but she doesn't like it when I get them done a little too thin in her opinion.
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Old 11-02-2006, 01:21 PM   #64
 
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Originally Posted by KatieCoolLady
You sound like a great mom Scarycurl. I also agree with you about the acne.
Thank you very much. I really try. It's the hardest job I've ever had that didn't come with some set of instructions or a manual.
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Old 11-02-2006, 01:28 PM   #65
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discgirl
If I had a daughter...
Please don't take offense to this because I don't mean to be snarky at all when I say that before I had a child, I thought and felt differently on a myriad of child-rearing issues. It's one of those situations that you really need to experience to say what you would do.

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Originally Posted by Discgirl
Deodorant isn't hygiene. It's grooming and aesthetics. THere are plenty of healthy people who don't wear deodorant or antiperspirant.
Yes and they can wilt a flower at 50 paces. They stink. Period. Why would anyone want to perspire and stink when $2.50 would take care of it?
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Old 11-02-2006, 01:56 PM   #66
 
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Originally Posted by internetchick
I would not be happy that my mother was so bothered by my eyebrows that she would try to get me to let her wax them and would bring home products for my skin. My mother did that kind of thing to me and it ate at my self esteem. If she comes to you then offer help. Otherwise I would just leave her alone. You are sending the message that something is wrong with her.
Totally agree with this. Your daughter sounds like a capable, terrific person, ScaryCurl. If she's fine with it right now, I wouldn't try to change that.
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Old 11-02-2006, 02:18 PM   #67
 
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Originally Posted by ScaryCurl
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeamaria
BTW, I am sure your daughters curls are going to be very beautiful. But your hair is too, as is that of so many people with much tighter and much looser curls than I think you are describing, so it's a little unfair to speak of the "perfect amount of curl".
Thanks for the compliment. I told her that her hair is beautiful and she is going to have the perfect amount of curl because she was really getting jealous from the compliments I was receiving with my super tight coils.

In lieu of the topic of this thread, I do go out of my way to compliment her in every way. My self-esteem was very low during my pre-teen and teen years.

I let her wear her hair however she wants even though I'm dying to put a pretty french braid in it or pull her sides up to show off her face more. She is a beautiful little girl inside and out and I let her know it everyday.
Oh, I see what you are saying. It's so nice to hear a mom going to all that effort!
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Old 11-02-2006, 03:27 PM   #68
 
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Hey, if she wants a uni, let her have one.
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Old 11-02-2006, 03:38 PM   #69
 
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Originally Posted by DominicanaHeat
I wish my mother had the same attitude as you. I spent my entire childhood and teen years with a MAJOR Bert unibrow, thanks to my dad. But she thought it was beautiful, and everyone would always say, "Wow your daughter has beautiful eyebrows." Which I guess was cool at the age of 10, but when I was 15, 16, and all the girls were getting their eyebrows done, and were beautifully sculpted, I asked mom if I could get mine done and she FREAKED about how girls with waxed or tweezed brows look whorish.

Then when I was 18, I went to get my nails done at the nail salon with my sister-in-law, and she got her eyebrows waxed, and they looked so neat and cute. So I said "Ya know what, screw that!" I asked my nail technician to take me to the wax room and she got my eyebrows in the most beautiful, perfect, Brooke Shieldesque arches I have ever seen. And I had TWO eyebrows! I felt like a million bucks!

When I got home that evening, my mother FLIPPED out and said I looked like a slut. My sister-in-law just sat there like " " I was so mortified! But her little comments wouldn't let me stop from getting my eyebrows done. I felt a million times better. Mom is used to it now, but she doesn't like it when I get them done a little too thin in her opinion.
Why did your mom associate getting your brows waxed with looking slutty?
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Old 11-02-2006, 06:29 PM   #70
 
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Scary -- Seeing as I went through a phase of not shaving my pits (as an adult) and that two of my best friends don't, I seriously doubt I'd feel differently. Antiperspirant and deodorant aren't the same thing. My sister couldn't wear antiperspirant for a long time b/c of a medical condition. So, she only wore deodorant.
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Old 11-02-2006, 09:04 PM   #71
 
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I think helping her take care of her skin is a good thing. There's nothing wrong with that at all. I think it's more effective than what my mom did. She just tried to get me to wear makeup to cover the acne and she told me that I "needed it". At least you're giving her some long term solutions, not a quick fix.
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Old 11-03-2006, 01:26 AM   #72
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discgirl
Scary -- Seeing as I went through a phase of not shaving my pits (as an adult) and that two of my best friends don't, I seriously doubt I'd feel differently. Antiperspirant and deodorant aren't the same thing. My sister couldn't wear antiperspirant for a long time b/c of a medical condition. So, she only wore deodorant.
You are right about that. I totally meant an antiperspirant whenever I referred to deodorant.

Do you mind if I ask a personal question? You can PM me or tell me to shut up if you want (just be gentle). LOL Is there any particular reason that you just decided to stop shaving your pits one day? I've read in a few places, and here on the board, that some cultures and ethnicities find it more acceptable. Did that have more to do with it? TIA!
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Old 11-03-2006, 03:39 AM   #73
 
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I agree on the deodarant issue. I must have 'matured' over summer in some way, as on my first day at high school (12 y/o) no one wanted to sit next to me in class and one girl told me i stinked. i didnt notice until i got home. our uniforms were thick jumpers so over summer i must have been ok with lighter clothes. i was so upset and cried the whole way home, and i really wished my mum had told me i needed deodarant (it's never as easy to smell your own sweat i guess.) so the next day i had my dove stick and i was fine. but i've found now i can go a day without deodarant (not on purpose, once or twice i've forgotten!) and it doesnt smell awful. i guess everyones different.

but i totally agree you're doing a great job as a mum to be looking out for your kid in this respect. sorry if i came across harsh earlier, it wasnt aimed at you but more at the phenomonen here in the UK of girls dressing like 30 y/o's. i would still say wait till she's ready (or watch out for the signs that shes upset by being bullied but doesnt kno how to raise the subject.) if shes happy she wont need it done, but i'm sure she'll want something done pretty soon and when she does you'll be waiting for her
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Old 11-03-2006, 07:27 AM   #74
 
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Scary -- I don't mind. It didn't have anything to do with my culture or ethnicity finding it acceptable/more acceptable. I just stopped b/c I didn't feel like it and I started to question why I did it. It's sort of like when I decided to stop relaxing my hair. One day I just asked myself if it was really worth all the hassle to try to make myself fit into some box that society shoved me into for no real reason. I thought about how there are lots of places where women don't shave, tweeze, etc and there's nothing "wrong" with them. I also thought about our fixation with women's bodies being hairless and why it's okay for men to have hair without anyone describing it as a hygiene issue. There were a bunch of issues. Plus, I also just didn't feel like it. Maybe, that's laziness. I don't know, but it was just one of those "I don't feel like doing it so why am I/should I do it?" moments.

Then again, I went to a major hippie college. I'm not kidding. We were only slightly right of Antioch College.

Of course, the not shaving came after college. For anyone wondering, I did have a boyfriend at the time and he couldn't care less. Why would he? Naked is naked. Plus, he probably knew better than to complain if he did care.
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Old 11-03-2006, 07:36 AM   #75
 
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This is an interesting topic. One of my very dear friends has the sweetest 12 YO daughter. She's always had a unibrow, and my friend is now debating whether or not to wax it. The daughter is very much into "girly" things and is always playing around with her mom's cosmetics and jewelry, and playing dress up in her closet.

She's asked me for my opinion, and I really don't think I'm in a position to offer one (since I don't have kids). My initial thought is to talk to her about , and hopefully she'll understand why her mom is suggesting it. I'm afraid that now that they're getting to "that age", kids may start teasing her about it. She has such a great, outgoing personality that I'd hate for her to now become self conscious.
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Old 11-03-2006, 08:04 AM   #76
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeamaria
Quote:
Originally Posted by DominicanaHeat
I wish my mother had the same attitude as you. I spent my entire childhood and teen years with a MAJOR Bert unibrow, thanks to my dad. But she thought it was beautiful, and everyone would always say, "Wow your daughter has beautiful eyebrows." Which I guess was cool at the age of 10, but when I was 15, 16, and all the girls were getting their eyebrows done, and were beautifully sculpted, I asked mom if I could get mine done and she FREAKED about how girls with waxed or tweezed brows look whorish.

Then when I was 18, I went to get my nails done at the nail salon with my sister-in-law, and she got her eyebrows waxed, and they looked so neat and cute. So I said "Ya know what, screw that!" I asked my nail technician to take me to the wax room and she got my eyebrows in the most beautiful, perfect, Brooke Shieldesque arches I have ever seen. And I had TWO eyebrows! I felt like a million bucks!

When I got home that evening, my mother FLIPPED out and said I looked like a slut. My sister-in-law just sat there like " " I was so mortified! But her little comments wouldn't let me stop from getting my eyebrows done. I felt a million times better. Mom is used to it now, but she doesn't like it when I get them done a little too thin in her opinion.
Why did your mom associate getting your brows waxed with looking slutty?
She thinks a face that is too done up looks whorish. I can see if someone where too much make up in a certain way, but neat eyebrows? Me and her got into it big time that day. The worst part was she didn't even realize that not only did she insult me, she also insulted her daughter-in-law. Ya know? I love my mother, but she can be a bit too old fashioned and at times ignorant about things.
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Old 11-03-2006, 08:47 AM   #77
 
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I had a college friend whose mother was troubled. One night in her early teens, my friend woke up to her mom sitting on her and plucking my friend's eyebrows b/c she thought they were too thick. I've met her mother and her father. They're "interesting." No wonder my friend had a borderline eating disorder in college.
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Old 11-03-2006, 08:50 AM   #78
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discgirl
I had a college friend whose mother was troubled. One night in her early teens, my friend woke up to her mom sitting on her and plucking my friend's eyebrows b/c she thought they were too thick. I've met her mother and her father. They're "interesting." No wonder my friend had a borderline eating disorder in college.
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Old 11-03-2006, 09:00 AM   #79
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discgirl
Scary -- I don't mind. It didn't have anything to do with my culture or ethnicity finding it acceptable/more acceptable. I just stopped b/c I didn't feel like it and I started to question why I did it. It's sort of like when I decided to stop relaxing my hair. One day I just asked myself if it was really worth all the hassle to try to make myself fit into some box that society shoved me into for no real reason. I thought about how there are lots of places where women don't shave, tweeze, etc and there's nothing "wrong" with them. I also thought about our fixation with women's bodies being hairless and why it's okay for men to have hair without anyone describing it as a hygiene issue. There were a bunch of issues. Plus, I also just didn't feel like it. Maybe, that's laziness. I don't know, but it was just one of those "I don't feel like doing it so why am I/should I do it?" moments.
Thanks for answering my question. To be honest, I commend you on your ability to say "to hell with society, this is my body!" It would take a very strong, confident, and secure person to "step out of the box" and ignore what society deems is the acceptable "hairless" woman when God created us all, men and women, to have body hair. You've got my respect. I don't know if I could be so bold. I really admire you for doing what you want and not what society expects you to do.
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Old 11-03-2006, 09:11 AM   #80
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennyfurrens
I agree on the deodarant issue. I must have 'matured' over summer in some way, as on my first day at high school (12 y/o) no one wanted to sit next to me in class and one girl told me i stinked. i didnt notice until i got home. our uniforms were thick jumpers so over summer i must have been ok with lighter clothes. i was so upset and cried the whole way home, and i really wished my mum had told me i needed deodarant (it's never as easy to smell your own sweat i guess.) so the next day i had my dove stick and i was fine. but i've found now i can go a day without deodarant (not on purpose, once or twice i've forgotten!) and it doesnt smell awful. i guess everyones different.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Kids can really be cruel, which is the reason I guess I'm so protective. I was teased constantly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jennyfurrens
but i totally agree you're doing a great job as a mum to be looking out for your kid in this respect. sorry if i came across harsh earlier, it wasnt aimed at you but more at the phenomonen here in the UK of girls dressing like 30 y/o's. i would still say wait till she's ready (or watch out for the signs that shes upset by being bullied but doesnt kno how to raise the subject.) if shes happy she wont need it done, but i'm sure she'll want something done pretty soon and when she does you'll be waiting for her
I appreciate that and don't feel that you came across as harsh. I've learned over the last few years here when you ask a question, you'd best be prepared for the honest, sometimes blunt responses you are going to get. That's pretty much the reason I put the question out there. I knew I could count on receiving a diverse amount of honest answers/opinions.

As far as my daughter being bullied? It's not likely. Her dad is 6'5.5" and she's got his height. She is in the fifth grade and walked out of the house today all dressed up to go to a play for a fieldtrip. She had on boots that probably had a 1.5" heel. She was as tall if not taller than me and I'm 5'4"! Girlfriend may get bullied once, but I'm quite sure she can hold her own. She is a head taller than most boys in her class and she's as strong as a bull. It's a good thing I earned her respect early on, because I believe she could probably take me. LOL She looked so pretty going out the door...so grown up. I swear I had a lump in my throat. They grow up way too fast. I'm definitely not going to push her to grow up anymore than she already has and the whole eyebrow issue is no longer going to be an issue. For the first time this morning, I missed my "little girl." I know she's still a little girl since she's only 10. She just looked so big to me today. I could barely reach her head to style her hair for her. She wanted to look extra nice today so I was "allowed" to touch her.

Edited to change "heal" to "heel" of boot. Can you tell I'm a medical transcriptionist? LOL
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