using a person's given name on a messageboard

FreeCurls · 11-09-2006, 01:39 PM

I've noticed this a few times here. The scenario, as I interpret it, is that members who know another member's real given name will address that member in a post using their real name and not their username. I'm wondering why they would do that? Is it a slip up? I personally find it confusing, given that I don't really know people's names aside from their user names plus I would think that unless someone's user name is their given name, then that person probably doesn't want to be using their real name on the board. Is it just to show a deeper level of familiarity between these two persons or is it just as I mentioned earlier, a slip-up?

Rheanna · 11-09-2006, 01:41 PM

I think it's usually just a slip-up. I've done this before with people I talk to outside of this board, and it was a slipup for me. Of course, no one has to worry about that with me since "Rheanna" is also my first name; I make it easy for everyone!

iris427 · 11-09-2006, 01:43 PM

I don't know anyone's real name (unless it is their user name like Rheanna). Hmm now I feel left out...

Rheanna · 11-09-2006, 01:43 PM

GRR this board! Ugh. DP, sorry!

LiliasWapiti · 11-09-2006, 01:44 PM

I have read that in a few posts too, and, it confuses the heck out of me. I don't know anyone's real names here either, so, I do not have the chance to slip up.

PartyHair · 11-09-2006, 01:49 PM

I try to remember to use their board name. I might occasionally use a first initial, especially if the poster is really going through something rough. It just personalizes the post a little more, I think.

Rheanna · 11-09-2006, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PartyHair

I try to remember to use their board name. I might occasionally use a first initial, especially if the poster is really going through something rough. It just personalizes the post a little more, I think.

Good point!

SaKkeh · 11-09-2006, 03:23 PM

I've never personally seen this interchange of real and usernames....but what makes me cringe is the use of the real names of family members, husbands, children on public message board, as well as photos of them --this one and others that I am a member of.
I would never expose myself like that, whether or not the person whose name/photo I am posting knows that I'm doing it. You cant be too careful, I think.

CurliLocks · 11-09-2006, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rheanna83

Quote:

Originally Posted by PartyHair

I try to remember to use their board name. I might occasionally use a first initial, especially if the poster is really going through something rough. It just personalizes the post a little more, I think.

Good point!

agreed. I do that too sometimes. But I never use their full given name, just initial, unless they sign their posting with their name.

I respect the privacy of given names vs usernames. I figure if they wanted their real name here, they'd use it. Me? I want to remain (mostly) annonymous!

M2LR · 11-09-2006, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PartyHair

I try to remember to use their board name. I might occasionally use a first initial, especially if the poster is really going through something rough. It just personalizes the post a little more, I think.

Yes, using first initials does make it more personal.

I don't think that anyone has ever used my real name on this board, but I have posted it on here.

lauraloo · 11-09-2006, 06:45 PM

Everyone knows my first name! And I figure if you don't know my last name, what does it matter? You even know the state I'm in and what I look like and I think that it still doesn't matter... there are FIVE Laura _____'s (my last name AND we have the same middle initial) just at my SCHOOL, let alone in the whole city/state. Maybe I'm not being super careful but I guess I just feel safe on this specific website. My fotki pictures have a password, too...

Kurlee · 11-09-2006, 07:19 PM

I am pretty paranoid about giving real names/info. Seems it is smart not to.
I know the real name on a few curlies here but I wouldn't use them on the board if I wasn't told it was ok. Even then if feels a bit weird.

Eilonwy · 11-09-2006, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaKkeh

I've never personally seen this interchange of real and usernames....but what makes me cringe is the use of the real names of family members, husbands, children on public message board, as well as photos of them --this one and others that I am a member of.
I would never expose myself like that, whether or not the person whose name/photo I am posting knows that I'm doing it. You cant be too careful, I think.

ITA

Rheanna · 11-09-2006, 08:56 PM

I don't get being so private about a first name or even a picture, but I can respect peoples right to do that and their desire for privacy, especially when it comes to their kids, but I"ve never quite understood how a picture of a kid could help someone find you? I don't know. I'd rather someone be too private than those who give out all their info; I have a couple family members (under 18 ) with ALL of their info on myspace - school, city, birthday, first middle & last names, phone number, etc!

Edited to fix my 8 that became

hehe!

DarkAngel · 11-09-2006, 09:07 PM

I only know a few first names here and I don't use them because that doesn't seem to be part of the board culture. On my mommy board, my name was part of my screenname for a while. Everyone there knows each other's first names and the people who don't share them are regarded as kind of odd. Different board culture.

As for sharing pics of family, good luck finding me though a pic of my child. He's already plastered all over the internet. I figure one more place isn't going to do much harm. Plus, I like looking at him when I post. I understand being careful but some things aren't worth worrying about to me.

FreeCurls · 11-09-2006, 09:12 PM

I think that over the course of time people may not realize the cumulative amount of personal information they put out about themselves on a message board. Because of that I think that those who are uncomfortable with the thought keep all or most of that information private. I see no need to ridicule that decision (not that you were Rheanna).

For example, on this board alone there is a link with a map that pinpoints people's location. I believe it even mentions hometowns. People mention their kids' names, occupations, colleges, etc. If one were inclined to do so I'm sure people could track posters' information and even track them down. A self-portrait in an avatar could turn out to be an ID card.

I think someone on this board has been stalked by a member. ( was it Burt?). I remember someone else having another member contact their job's HR department and make accusations. I may not be remembering that entirely but something like that happened.

Yes, this may all seem extreme but it is possible. In the long run and for the most part we don't know each other. And given some of the knock-down, drag-out "discussions" on this board I can see not wanting its members to be able to track me down.

Eilonwy · 11-09-2006, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rheanna83

...but I"ve never quite understood how a picture of a kid could help someone find you?

It's not that someone could find your kid just from a photo. It's because there are perverts out there who only want a photo.

Rheanna · 11-09-2006, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eilonwy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rheanna83

...but I"ve never quite understood how a picture of a kid could help someone find you?

It's not that someone could find your kid just from a photo. It's because there are perverts out there who only want a photo.

Yeah I completely understand that as well.

Pacific Poppy · 11-09-2006, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkAngel

As for sharing pics of family, good luck finding me though a pic of my child. He's already plastered all over the internet. I figure one more place isn't going to do much harm. Plus, I like looking at him when I post. I understand being careful but some things aren't worth worrying about to me.

This is the way I feel about my kids' pictures, although I have stopped using them, per dh's request. The kids are freakin cute and I've stumbled accross pictures of them now twice, on websites about events that we attended. I never saw anyone take pics, but there they are. I'm assuming this happens regularly, but we (and here I mean all of us) just don't usually know. People could gather far more about me and them by knowing that we were at those events, than they ever could by anything I've posted here.

lazy loops · 11-09-2006, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreeCurls

I think someone on this board has been stalked by a member. (was it Burt?). I remember someone else having another member contact their job's HR department and make accusations. I may not be remembering that entirely but something like that happened.

You're shi-tt-in me!

Holy crap!