Those who have experience with long distance relationships..

Would you say that going to school 1-1/2 hrs away would be long distance? We both have cars so whenever we wanted to drive to the others during the week, we can at a moments notice. I have just never been through a long distance relationship but I have also never been in a relationship this long before(1 1/2 yrs). He has 4 more years to go and I am already graduated so it's only until he is done. I just want to know for those who have experienced this, does it work. Does the close proximitiy of dist. make it easier? or do you think it doesnt matter? And how do we do things to ensure that we don't drift apart? I just need suggestiosn on how this will go cause we have already said we wanted to get married but are going to wait until he is done with school. So we are both committed to the relationship....I just know that we are clueless on this whole thing....well now that I think about it...he is originally from 8 hours away from where I live so when he goes home for the holiday's and stuff, he is completely gone for 3-5 weeks at a time so the only thing we can do is instant message and talk on the phone during that time. So I guess we do kind of experience this for short bursts of time. But we would still like suggestions and opinions on how it will go over the next 4 years.
"If i can see it, then i can be it. If i just believe it, there's nothing to it. I belive i can fly, I believe i can touch the sky, i think about it every night and day spread my wings and fly away, I believe i can soar, I see me running through that open door-- i believe i can fly...if i just spread my wings.
I think it really depends on the two in the relationship as to whether or not they can pull of a long distance relationship.

That being said, it CAN be done. I live 5 hours away from my SO. Of course, it's only a temporary move. But it seems that it is that way in your case.

It's good sometimes because it allows us to get excited everytime we get to see each other. We get to surprise each other with letters, phone calls, etc. unlike before when we lived closer.

So, I can't say whether or not it will work for you, but it can be done. If you have any specific questions, feel free to drop me a PM.
I think being that close will make it a lot easier. You can probably see each other on weekends and you won't have to pay for a plane ticket.

My bf and I spent a year living 800 miles apart. it was horrible but I think it also made our relationship stronger. Everyone was saying it wouldn't last, but we are still together (and living in the same place thankfully). I know some other girls who have made long-distance relationships last. So it can be done.

It depends on you guys. But if you both have cars and are only an hour and a half apart, it will be a lot easier than it was for me. You can see each other on weekends, birthdays, etc., whereas my boyfriend and I could only see each other every few months.

Thanks for your input! I really appreciate it. I know deep in my heart that we have been through so much already and have overcome it all and that we will get through this and be ok but I am the type of person that worries way too much over everything. I guess the biggest thing that we will have to deal with is the fact that we normally spend 2 hrs every night with each other and it won't be like that when he leaves. I do feel better knowing that we are at least close enough that I could leave after work and go there during the week and still be able to spend time with him before I would have to leave to come back to get to bed at a decent time.

It just really helps me knowing that there are other people that are making it work. And to make myself feel even better, I think of the people who live in big cities that might take almost an hour in traffic just to get to the other person. I have never been to a huge city, but i'm imagining that to get from one of New York City to another, would take a little bit of time. I'm probably crazy, but it's just a little reasoning to put my mind at ease

I just thought of one other question......I am figuring that when I go there for the weekend, I will just stay with him for the whole weekend most times instead of going and coming each day. However, when he comes to see me, do you think it would be crazy of me to ask my parents if he could stay with us and sleep on the couch in the basement? I am living at home right now until I can save up a little bit of money. I know they love him and he comes to my house everyday so they know him really well so i'm thinking it would be a resonable request on my part, but i'm not sure. I know it's hard to judge without knowing my parents, but any thoughts on it?

Thanks again for all your help!!!!
"If i can see it, then i can be it. If i just believe it, there's nothing to it. I belive i can fly, I believe i can touch the sky, i think about it every night and day spread my wings and fly away, I believe i can soar, I see me running through that open door-- i believe i can fly...if i just spread my wings.
I don't think only being 1 1/2 hours away from each other is a big deal at all. Like you said...even during the week one of you could drive to see the other one. I think you guys will be just fine!
I think asking if he could stay on the couch would be fine. I'm guess you'll probably be wanting to go to his place more so you guys can have alone time, but I think it's very appropriate to ask if he could stay on the couch.
As my bf's mom put it: It'll either make or break you.

My boyfriend transferred to a school 2.5-3 hours away. We talk everyday, even if it's just to say goodnight. Last year, we practically lived together, so it's quite a change to see each other once or twice a month. And it gets expensive. But I've never been more in love with him. Somehow the distance spices things up.. we have things to look forward to and appreciate our time together more. We've been together over a year and a half and things have never been better. In fact, I'm leaving to see him within the hour.

As long as you keep the lines of communication open and are committed, it's no big deal at all.
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The distance you guys have between you (1.5 hours), is totally doable IMO.

DH and I (while dating) were 4 hours apart for the first 5 years. It was manageable. Not great, but at a moment's notice, if need be, we could get to where the other one was. We then spent 1 year on opposite coasts and that SUCKED! It was strange, we had already been long-distance for so long, and at this point we were engaged but that type of distance really put a strain our relationship. Not only could we not see each other, but with the time difference, it was hard to even be able to talk to each other.

If this is a relationship that you are considering for the long term, then I think its something you can totally make work. I'd say within a few months of DH and I finally getting together in the same place, it didn't matter at all that we had been apart for so long.
I wouldn't call 1 1/2 hrs apart long distance---it's totally doable. We've dealt with 8,000 miles between us for 12 months---THAT'S long distance!

An hour & a half's drive means you can go hang out on a weekend when you need to see one another.

And as befrizzled said---it'll either make you or break you.

*edited because we weren't 8k apart---we were 8 thousand miles apart! Whining over 8k would be pretty stupid!
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When my fiance and I started dating, we were at colleges an hour apart. He didnt have a car, so I drove there on weekends if I didnt have a horseshow, and on Wednesday nights because a local bar/wing place had trivia night and we'd go with his fraternity brothers and one of my roommates. He graduated that year, got a job in RI (I'm from MA) and again, we were an hour apart. Then I went back to college for my senior year (in VA) and we were about 13 hours apart. He drove down with my mom and I in August, then I saw him Halloween weekend(flew down to see me), then for Thanksgiving and Christmas break when I came home. Spring semester I didnt see him till I came home for a few days in March (spring break/my birthday), then he came in April for our senior formal weekend, and again when I graduated in May. We talked on IM and the phone, though neither of us is chatty on the phone. We also played online games together. We had "movie date nights" where we'd either rent the same movie or watch one on TV, and be on the phone with each other. Not the same as being there, but it was as close as we could get.
When I graduated, I moved back to MA, and now we're back at the hour distance/ seeing each other on the weekends, and it feels like nothing! I think because we started out seeing each other once-twice a week, it made the longer distance easier, because we werent used to having eachother RIGHTTHERE all the time anyway. We're both easy-going too, so that helped the situation. I knew that if he didnt call or sign on one night it probably meant he got caught up in one of his computer games, or stuck babysitting his little sister for the night. I had a lot to do with my horse/schoolwork/friends anyway, so it wasnt like I was sitting around doing nothing just waiting for him to call.

On the other hand, one of my roommates has had many LDRs, and none of them have worked out. She's super clingy and needs to be in constant contact with her SO - and one of them was the same way. That was a nightmare. If he couldnt get ahold of her because she was in class, he automatically assumed that she was cheating on him. And if he heard that she'd been hanging out with some of our (male) friends? Forget it! Of course, she'd complain about him being immature, but then she'd accuse him of the same thing if she couldnt find him - even if she knew he was at work and not supposed to be answering his cell. It was fun to watch as an outsider, but I can't imagine being in that kind of relationship for almost a year.
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My husband and I spent a year apart before we got married. Opposite sides of the planet. It was hard but our relationship never got "weak" from it. If the two parties are just committed it works. Itís about "strong will" I think and of course being with the right person.

Good luck- Long distance relationships SUCK. I have been in many of them. I am married to one of them! He was VERY long distance though- across the world- twice! My best advice- give the other some space b/c they can't live their life sitting on the phone all the time- it iwll make you resent each other. Go out with your friends and have fun and don't become crazy jealous psychos! Don't accuse the other one of doing somethign wrong b/c he was an hour late calling you when he got home- things happen. Try to be understanding and not a hypocrite. I was a bad hypocrite. I woudl go out, get drunk and forget to call liek I said I would, but if he had done that, I woudl get very upset. Try to be reasonable. Agree to not hang up mad- that is when bad things happen!
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I wouldn't call that particularly long distance. Many people commute for as long as that a day...meaning...it is doable. No worries! I've done it on and off with my SO for the past 2 years and we've been together for 5
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An hour and a half doesn't seem like a long distance to me. Probably because my fiance and I are 10 hours apart. We lived 10 hours apart for a year and then got engaged. We have one more year to go and then we will live together. As many other people have said it is very possible. It's hard at times but I think it makes you closer in the end. It's my opinion that if it's supposed to work out, it will whether you are near each other or not. Good luck!
Thanks for everyone's input. I think I feel a little better about it all now. I know we can see each other whenever we want. Plus he's going to have a really busy season this spring so I pry wouldn't even see him that much if he was here. My only concern is that I will have to get a hotel room everytime I go there b/c he will probably have to have a roommate But that will most likely only be for this semester. I am one of those clingy people in a way b/c I hate the thought of him at any party drinking without me cause I won;t be there to keep him in line to make sure that he doesn't do something he will regret. Or to have a roommate who has whoever he wants in the room whenever, but I know I will just have to go with the flow. However, when he was really clingy to me a few months back, I didn't like it. So i'm hoping that the time apart will make us stronger. It seems that when we are together all the time now, we fight way more and we take each other for granted. There is no excitment a lot of the time cause we just know that for the last two hours of the day, he will come to my house and that's how it is every night during the week. So hopefulyl this will bring us together more instead of tearing us apart.
"If i can see it, then i can be it. If i just believe it, there's nothing to it. I belive i can fly, I believe i can touch the sky, i think about it every night and day spread my wings and fly away, I believe i can soar, I see me running through that open door-- i believe i can fly...if i just spread my wings.

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