Tell me about being a nurse...(and also my issues...beware)

And I get to help the medical students/residents who are clueless!!! :P
Originally Posted by Krazyblondegurl
Thank God for that!!!

Also.

There was a hospital in Toronto several years ago, I believe..... where the doctors went on strike. Everyone was panicking, saying "How will the hospital continue to run without the doctors?!??" Well, you know what...... no one really noticed much of a difference. The nurses kept the hospital running smoothly.

A few years later, evidently (I don't remember if it was the same hospital).... the nurses went on strike. No one had a clue how to keep things going-- certainly not the docs-- and the strike was resolved in about a day and a half!

Nursing is DEFINITELY one of the most valuable (and to some extent, underappreciated) professions out there.
Previously Joy4ever.
Changed because the "number in place of a word" thing was bugging my no-longer-14-year-old self.
I think nursing is a wonderful profession, and I admire the people who become nurses - it's a tough job, and one I would certainly not be able to do. Also, I think people on here have given you some good answers about being a nurse and things to thing about... What I am concerned about is that I am getting the impression that the primary motivator to get into nursing is that you think you are unattractive and you think that looks don't matter in the nursing field? I don't really think that is a valid way to choose a profession.

Have you ever seen any sort of therapist? Maybe discussing these issues with someone else will help you to feel better about yourself - the way you feel about your appearance seems to be controlling your life, and you don't have to feel that way, you shouldn't have to feel that way.
Originally Posted by rileyb
I highly agree with Riley. Nobody should feel the way you talk about yourself.
Originally Posted by Munchy
From what I've read, and I believe this to be true from experience, therapy is best when coupled with medication. Therapy also doesn't work for everyone, and unless it is brief, intensive psychotherapy, it can take a long time for it to help - if it doesn't, you're out the time and money, and will end up feeling even worse. I went to a psychologist for two sessions, and all he did was discuss my past with me for two hours. If I'd had a horrible childhood or events in my past that were haunting me, maybe I'd feel like it was worthwhile. But, I believe depression is a chemical imbalance and hereditary. I do believe that events can contribute to it or bring it to surface, but in my case, it was events in my recent past that contributed to my depression/anxiety. A psychiatrist talks to you AND prescribes medication, which I think would be the best option for me. But, my family doctor said that a psychiatrist does little more than what he'd do, so I've just been going to him. It just helps to regularly discuss what I'm feeling with someone who will listen and empathize, and medicine has played a big part in my recovery. I feel more balanced, and don't dwell on negative thoughts. I think a therapist may be best for people who have issues from their past that they need to work out, but from what I've read (and I'm not an expert) and heard from people who suffer with depression is that a therapist/psychologist has to be really good for the patient to get results from therapy/counseling alone. The psychologist I went to was supposedly the best in town, but I just felt like it was a big waste of time. At the rate he was moving, it would've taken months of talking to him to get to the past few years of my life. Brief psychotherapy is something I would look into more if I felt that going to my regular doctor wasn't helping. We're all different, and what works for some doesn't work for others.
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Thank you all for giving me information about nursing. It is nice to have so many people give their opinions and comments...I don't

To those who have brought up the issue of my looks...No offense, but if you aren't an extremely unattractive person yourself, you have no idea what my life is like. You don't know what struggles I have. To illustrate (mildly), I've seen that Ugly Vanessa skit on ET, and when the girl is in her "ugly" outfit, and people look at her the wrong way, the girl starts bawling. When I see that, I laugh at how pathetic and out of touch she is. I go through much worse on a daily basis, and I eat it without tears. Vanessa really has no clue what it is like for people like me...and any woman out there who is the slightest bit attractive has no idea what it is like to be without that. You don't know how much something matters until you are without it, trust me. I'm just telling you that you really have no right to judge my situation.

Yes, I do look bad. It isn't my hair or my clothes or my grooming or my teeth or my weight...it is my face. I can't change that. Feeling good about myself won't change that, because I'm not the one who has to look at me. I have already hashed out my looks issues to some extent here before, and what's left for me to do is just accept what I am. It is very hard to accept what I am when I depend on other people for jobs and gaining experience while in a job...I get shut out of a lot of things. People don't want to be around me...people try to humiliate me because it is funny to them...all while I am just nice and polite and minding my own business. Anyone who is nice to me or talks to me, I know, is thinking that they are doing me a favor. This is all hurting my career as an office worker. People actually tell me that my looks are what is holding me back...both in a know it all way, and in a taunting way...from friends and family...to nasty co-workers.

I can deal with all of that, and I would expect to deal with that as a nurse to some extent or maybe to the same extent. But right now, I have to go through this with crap pay and what seems like no hope for advancement. I can barely take care of myself, and I don't see that changing. Every job opening I see for myself leads to some sort of "face" time, and I know I can't be successful in the position because of that. I also mentioned about job security as an older woman. I can waste my money at a therapist, and have 50 people lie to me and tell me I'm great, and I can walk around feeling like a supermodel...but at the end of the day, my life won't really be different...at the end of the day, I have to do the responsible thing for myself.

I agree, becoming a nurse probably won't make my day-to-day experiences different, but it will help me be able to save money and take care of myself until I retire. As an unattractive woman, I also have issues with being useless. As a nurse, I could put my care and compassion and empathy for people to use...where it MIGHT be appreciated. Being able to take care of myself, and being able to serve others in a very special way will help me calm down mentally. It would help me handle my place in life, and put me more at peace, I think. My mind is all over the place now, because I feel like I have no control and I can't help myself.

In addition to all of that, nursing might help me save enough money to be able to get my jaw fixed, and help me look better on the outside.
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Kenzie, please stop. You're younger than me, just out of school, and you live with your mom and dad. You act like you know-it-all about my life, and you don't have a clue. You're biggest concern now is whether or not you should move in with a guy because you're so attractive and he wants you and blah blah blah it would be a problem. It is such an insult for someone like you to be talking to me right now.

Do you want me to send you a picture of myself? Taking a pill every day and having people lie through their teeth and say "Oh hun, you're beautiful!" a'int gonna pay the bills or make me happy. I don't want to go all Tom Cruise on you, but we've got to play with the cards we are dealt, and that's all I'm trying to do here.
Slinky, do you have some kind of disfigurement or facial disability (I hope those are appropriate terms to use) or severe scarring or dental issues or something?

I have to say that I have never once seen a person and thought they were too unattractive to have a decent life being able to advance at their job, make friends etc. because of their looks. So I can't imagine it's that bad, unless, like I said, you have a serious issue, in which case you should be able to get reconstructive surgery.

If that is not the case, then I would have to say your problem is confidence. There are plenty of not so good looking people walking around who like themselves and attract others and have positive outcomes in life. I really doubt you are any worse than any of them.

ETA: I would love to see a picture of you.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











In addition to all of that, nursing might help me save enough money to be able to get my jaw fixed, and help me look better on the outside.


If you think that getting your jaw fixed will greatly improve your appearance, are you sure that you can't somehow get insurance to cover it so you can get it done now? I mean, I knew a guy that worked at Wal-mart who had a broken jaw and got the surgery done. He didn't have much money, and I doubt he had any health insurance.
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Amneris, you are a dear. You really are.

Let me tell you, I can't go anywhere without people bothering me. I've overheard people say over and over that I have the ugliest face they've ever seen in their lives. People say that I look like a guy. People at work who overheard me say late at night that I was looking for another job turned around and told other people who I overheard saying that the odds are so low that I'd ever get another job because I'm so ugly. Others I've overheard say that they can't believe that I was hired where I am...they said that our company must have no standards at all to give a person as ugly as me a job. People at work bark at me when I go by. I tell my supervisor about it and she tells me I'm hearing things, and now I have something in my personnel file that says I have mental issues. Then, I overhear her saying under her breath, "It is because you're SO UGLY..."....like I don't know. Then, when I walk by her office and she's on the phone or with her buds, I hear them telling random jokes about my looks and everyone laughs...I could go on and on. This happened at every job I ever had, but not as bad as this...and I work in a dump with a bunch of ugly fat people...So I'd expect it all as a nurse. I couldn't even go to class in college because everyone made fun of me during class and I was so humiliated. Now, I'm sorry I didn't do better there, because staying home all those days hurt me.

But, like I said, pretty women who are married and taken care of...who have a strong sense of religion and think that everything is wonderful and roses for everyone else too...are out of touch. I don't even know what your problems are like.

I really didn't want this to be a thread about getting people to tell me that I'm so great, and my problems are in my head.
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In addition to all of that, nursing might help me save enough money to be able to get my jaw fixed, and help me look better on the outside.


If you think that getting your jaw fixed will greatly improve your appearance, are you sure that you can't somehow get insurance to cover it so you can get it done now? I mean, I knew a guy that worked at Wal-mart who had a broken jaw and got the surgery done. He didn't have much money, and I doubt he had any health insurance.
Originally Posted by Kenzie_06
A broken jaw is a different thing. I need my jaw cut and moved, and I would need braces before and after. I've already had braces, but I'd need them again.

It costs 40K, and isn't covered. If I agreed to pay that, and then fiddled around later with the insurance company for a year or so, I could possibly get them to pay a small portion...but I would still have to foot quite a bit.
Kenzie, please stop. You're younger than me, just out of school, and you live with your mom and dad. You act like you know-it-all about my life, and you don't have a clue. You're biggest concern now is whether or not you should move in with a guy because you're so attractive and he wants you and blah blah blah it would be a problem. It is such an insult for someone like you to be talking to me right now.

Do you want me to send you a picture of myself? Taking a pill every day and having people lie through their teeth and say "Oh hun, you're beautiful!" a'int gonna pay the bills or make me happy. I don't want to go all Tom Cruise on you, but we've got to play with the cards we are dealt, and that's all I'm trying to do here.
Originally Posted by slinky1
Huh? I guess I'm sorry for trying to help you and offer suggestions. I don't have your specific problem and don't claim to know what it's like, but I have depression and know what a barrier it is to being successful. Those of us who get to that point are there for different reasons, but we're still all in the same place regardless of how we got there.

I really don't have a great life. It's insulting to me to claim that I don't have any problems because I'm attractive. I have a family history of suicide (two of my uncles and my cousin killed themselves) and recently I had to admit myself to the hospital because I had constant suicidal thoughts and visions. I even drove to the river and probably the only reason I didn't go for it was that there were people around. And, I'm sure insurance won't cover it and I'll be stuck with a bill that I can't pay. At least you have a job and seem to be at a point where you can go to work every day and face people without getting uncontrollably anxious. If you have that, then yes, you have more going for yourself than you know.
Thank you all for giving me information about nursing. It is nice to have so many people give their opinions and comments...I don't

To those who have brought up the issue of my looks...No offense, but if you aren't an extremely unattractive person yourself, you have no idea what my life is like. You don't know what struggles I have. To illustrate (mildly), I've seen that Ugly Vanessa skit on ET, and when the girl is in her "ugly" outfit, and people look at her the wrong way, the girl starts bawling. When I see that, I laugh at how pathetic and out of touch she is. I go through much worse on a daily basis, and I eat it without tears. Vanessa really has no clue what it is like for people like me...and any woman out there who is the slightest bit attractive has no idea what it is like to be without that. You don't know how much something matters until you are without it, trust me. I'm just telling you that you really have no right to judge my situation.
Originally Posted by slinky1
Slinky, I wasn't trying to judge you. Your first post seemed to imply that nurses should be beautiful and I was just trying to point out, as someone with some experience working in a hospital, that that is not the case. It's not what patients expect. I don't know you or what you look like but I know from working in healthcare that if you are good at your job and don't come to work with unwashed hair, BO and dirty fingernails or whatever, your patients will not care how you look. They will care how you take care of them. Sick people have bigger worries than how pretty their nurse is.

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I don't know what your problems are. But, it is really hard to imagine anyone...aside from those who have to take care of a disabled or mentally ill child, or from those who have been burned in a fire...or from those who have been raped or abused...has it as bad as I do. I know it is terribly selfish and wrong to think that, but I do. I'm sorry, I really am. Just please do what you can for yourself...like we all have to.

ETA: I know that you have a lot going for you, and that your life is valuable. You have people who care about you, you are educated, you are pretty. I know you didn't like being told all that by your doc, but imagine someone NOT being able to tell you that?

Truth be told, I just quit my regular job. Having them tell me that I was hearing things and talking to me so condescendingly in front of everyone about how they had to call my doc and talk to her about this...all to scare me into shutting up and to make me look bad if I tried to sue.....I can't even think of what to do now because it took me so long to get that job.
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Now I feel all stupid. I've been so confused over what I should do with my life after all I've learned about myself, and my experiences...that's why I had to bring up the looks thing. I think that I shouldn't be living because I'm such a burden to everyone, but I'm too self-centerd and stupid and lame to ever do anything about it.
slinky, you need to seriously think about checking yourself into a hospital for mental health care. Right now your career is the least of your worries.
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I should check myself into a hospital because people are cruel to me? I don't think so.
A broken jaw is a different thing. I need my jaw cut and moved, and I would need braces before and after. I've already had braces, but I'd need them again.

It costs 40K, and isn't covered. If I agreed to pay that, and then fiddled around later with the insurance company for a year or so, I could possibly get them to pay a small portion...but I would still have to foot quite a bit.

Is there anyone who could help you with this surgery? What about your parents?

I have a niece with an extremely small lower jaw and terribly crooked teeth. She should have had it fixed in her teen years, but she didn't want to do it then (when insurance might have covered it) because she's an oboe player and didn't want to take a year off from music. Her goal then was to get a music scholarship, which she did get. Now that she's graduated with her BA in music, and trying to get a job in the real world and find romance and family, she's finding it difficult. She's working as a nanny and she and her parents are trying to scrape the money together for her to have the surgery and braces. I wouldn't call her "ugly" or unattrative, but she definitely needs to have her jaw fixed, because it's causing dental problems and all manner of social problems.

I do feel for you. There must be a way to work it out so you can do whatever is necessary to help you come to a place of peace with your outward appearance.
I should check myself into a hospital because people are cruel to me? I don't think so.
Originally Posted by slinky1
No, I think you should because of how you treat yourself.
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A broken jaw is a different thing. I need my jaw cut and moved, and I would need braces before and after. I've already had braces, but I'd need them again.

It costs 40K, and isn't covered. If I agreed to pay that, and then fiddled around later with the insurance company for a year or so, I could possibly get them to pay a small portion...but I would still have to foot quite a bit.

Is there anyone who could help you with this surgery? What about your parents?

I have a niece with an extremely small lower jaw and terribly crooked teeth. She should have had it fixed in her teen years, but she didn't want to do it then (when insurance might have covered it) because she's an oboe player and didn't want to take a year off from music. Her goal then was to get a music scholarship, which she did get. Now that she's graduated with her BA in music, and trying to get a job in the real world and find romance and family, she's finding it difficult. She's working as a nanny and she and her parents are trying to scrape the money together for her to have the surgery and braces. I wouldn't call her "ugly" or unattrative, but she definitely needs to have her jaw fixed, because it's causing dental problems and all manner of social problems.

I do feel for you. There must be a way to work it out so you can do whatever is necessary to help you come to a place of peace with your outward appearance.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
So you know what I'm talking about. It is terrible to know that if my parents had been smarter, and realized that I need braces and headgear at a very young age in order to fix my jaw, I wouldn't have had all of these awful problems.

I didn't get braces until I was done growing, so my teeth are okay...but by jaw is a little out of whack. It isn't as bad as some, but with my high forehead, and round face, it is not going to be good for me as time goes on. So...I'll have to re-arrange my teeth again now that they're good.

My parents don't get it. They just don't. I've told them about the surgery, and shown them pics, and they won't help. They don't think I should care about such things, and if I want to, it should be AFTER I get financially settled so that I can do it myself. How can I get financially settled looking like this? Even if I did do it, my mom would probably act all angry with me and wouldn't help with the recovery process. She probably would have an attitude with me about it for my whole life.

See, I have real hopes and goals...I just think this nursing thing might be able to take care of them...mental, financial, and physical.
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I should check myself into a hospital because people are cruel to me? I don't think so.
Originally Posted by slinky1
No, I think you should because of how you treat yourself.
Originally Posted by internetchick
I think I treat myself fine. I put up with crap at my job for a while, and then when they wanted to really screw me I wouldn't stand for it.

I know that I have a lot of obstacles, and I have tried to think of ways to overcome them. I am asking a lot of advice to make myself sure I know what I'm getting into.

Even though I don't look good, I still try to buy nice clothes and care about how I look...even though a lot of people think I shouldn't bother.

Any more advice on the career itself is welcome if you have it. Thanks so much.
I should check myself into a hospital because people are cruel to me? I don't think so.
Originally Posted by slinky1
If you have suicidal thoughts/visions, you should admit yourself. I know you said that you wouldn't do anything, but thoughts can quickly materialize into plans if you're not in a good mental state. I had brief suicidal thoughts after going through a few bad situations recently, but felt it was under control. All it took was one more upset to push me over the edge. I was glad that the circumstances didn't work out how I'd planned, and that I went to the hospital. I'm not 100% I would've had the guts to do it, but I had an overwhelming need to find peace, and a strong desire to separate my body from the earth - it was the scariest feeling. Medication and talking to someone won't change what's going on. People can tell me that oh, you have so much going for you and list all the traits, but I still don't believe most of it - I just don't see it. I don't think I'm a bad person, or stupid, or ugly, but I'm not exceptional in any way, either. I don't have a purpose or goals. I feel that my thought processes have changed slowly, so that I'm no longer feeling suicidal at least - I'm able to think more about other people, and how what I'm doing with my life affects them. I don't know if you've tried meds, but they may help you to look outside your problems, slinky, for just a minute, to focus more on concrete plans for changing your life. It doesn't mean your problems don't exist, but it may alter your way of thinking so your problems don't consume you.

And the comment that was made about sick people not caring about their nurse's looks - it's true, I can't tell you what any of the mental ward nurses look like.

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