Mothers - ARGH

Do you sometimes feel like your mothers job is to just stress you out, or piss you off more?

We're in the process of buying a house that's been under new construction for a year. We came down to the end when we were supposed to close on Thanksgiving, but due to some roadblocks we ran into, we're STILL trying to get everything together w/ the mortgage company so we can close.

We've been completely frustrated and stressed out as we've been working to get this done, and we're being totally pushed to our breaking point, but still hopeful that we WILL get this done, since it's looked good for the past year that we've been working on it.

Well my mom is being a concerned mother and checking on me, since I'm pregnant, and don't need to be stressed out this much. She keeps telling me to take it easy, and rest, and try to stay calm, yadda, yadda, yadda.

So today she actually says to me, "you may want to sit down and think about if this is something you really want to go through, you know, with finances and stuff" -- I'm like "wha-wha-WHAT!" Why would she say that to me? After a year of us working and planning on this, why, only a couple of days away from closing, would she want to put more stress on me like that?!! I swear to God, the woman is mental.
~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
Do you sometimes feel like your mothers job is to just stress you out, or piss you off more?
Originally Posted by babywavy
No, that's my MIL's job.
sometimes they think they are helping ... when they are so not helping!

m
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Do you sometimes feel like your mothers job is to just stress you out, or piss you off more?
Originally Posted by babywavy
No, that's my MIL's job.
Originally Posted by M2LR & Co.
Do we have the same MIL?
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sometimes they think they are helping ... when they are so not helping!

m
Originally Posted by mayim
Sometimes I have to keep reminding myself that!
My mom makes me crazy sometimes. The two big things she tends to do:

1) She's a total buzzkill. I'll call her up all excited about something (job prospect, vacation, whatever), and she'll tell me all the reasons that it'll likely fail or that it's dangerous, shady, etc. She's trying to help, but really... she's just being discouraging.

2) She worries about the most random stuff! She called me once all upset because she realized she only had two diamond rings and three daughters, and what on earth would she do with her will, and should she buy a new diamond ring just to leave to one of us when she dies, etc. I was like... "whaaa...?"

But mostly, she's the smartest person I know and a wonderful lady. She just makes me crazy sometimes.
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Stressing me out is definitely my mother's job. Compared to her my MIL is an angel.
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sometimes they think they are helping ... when they are so not helping!

m
Originally Posted by mayim
Pretty much. Every three months I make a promise to myself that I will have more patience with my mom. I love that woman with everything I have. But sometimes, damn......

My MIL is great also, although she did tell me about 4 accidental baby deaths in a row. I almost started to cry. Like i'm not neurotic enough. when I give the baby a bath (baby tub inside the big tub) I put down the toliet cover, for fear that I may drop him in.


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sometimes they think they are helping ... when they are so not helping!

m
Originally Posted by mayim
Pretty much. Every three months I make a promise to myself that I will have more patience with my mom. I love that woman with everything I have. But sometimes, damn......

My MIL is great also, although she did tell me about 4 accidental baby deaths in a row. I almost started to cry. Like i'm not neurotic enough. when I give the baby a bath (baby tub inside the big tub) I put down the toliet cover, for fear that I may drop him in.
Originally Posted by Trenellm
You may drop him in (trust me you won't LOL)
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sometimes they think they are helping ... when they are so not helping!

m
Originally Posted by mayim
Pretty much. Every three months I make a promise to myself that I will have more patience with my mom. I love that woman with everything I have. But sometimes, damn......

My MIL is great also, although she did tell me about 4 accidental baby deaths in a row. I almost started to cry. Like i'm not neurotic enough. when I give the baby a bath (baby tub inside the big tub) I put down the toliet cover, for fear that I may drop him in.
Originally Posted by Trenellm

I used to always have visions of dropping B while carrying her. I read that it's just your subconcious preparing yourself for the worst, even though it wouldn't happen.
~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
Oh, this thread is so timely for me. I love my mom very much but sometimes she just annoys the crap out of me so badly I can't even talk to her.

Since I am 8 months pregnant now and STILL have a stupid soft cast and boot on my broken foot, she comes every two or three weeks to clean for me. Backgroud: This is a woman who SCREAMED at me all during my childhood and teen years about how when she gave me chores I needed to do them her way, a.k.a. the RIGHT way, or she schooled me for an HOUR on the proper way to dust. Fast forward to my own house, which I tend to keep spotless. So I was very bothered by the fact that after I broke my foot I could not do what I needed to do. I told her I was thinking about hiring someone to come in at least once a month to help me and she volunteered to come and clean. When she is "done" there is crumbs still on the floor, dust on top of major pieces of furniture and so much dust on the toilet bowl cover and sink counters that I can write my name in it.

Now, I am grateful that she comes but I would have paid someone to do the job I wanted and she INSISTED that she come instead. I don't say anything because I don't want to seem ungrateful but it's driving me insane and after she leaves I have to clean it up anyway.

She smothers my daughter by constantly being in her face and talking baby talk to her, which we HATE and don't do. And my husband caught her trying to force some food in her mouth - not in a bad or violent way - but by putting the food on her finger (another no-no with us) and baby voiceing "Come on, honey, don't you want some peanut butter, come on, come on" while my daughter is turing her head from side to side then finally, tentatively licking the peanut butter off her finger. Yet, YET when I tell my mom to hold my daughter's hand tightly when we are in a parking lot or near the street because she could run off, she does't and when my daughter DOES run off SHE HESITATES TO JUST PICK HER UP AND CARRY HER. I have spoken to her about this type of thing before and she DOES NOT LISTEN.

Why is she so adament about the GD peanut butter but lax about my daughter's actual SAFTEY?!!

She can also be a doormat for my brother and grandmother and complains about them constantly but does not change her behavoir toward them and when I tell her to just not put up with the garbage they dish out, she acts completely put upon and like "Well what can I do?" so I tell her if she is not going to change how she reacts to them, their behavior will keep on being what it is and she gets all "I know, I know" in an annoying high pitched voice to indicate she is nothing but a sweet put upon woman and I am a big meanie, but clearly does not want to hear what I have to say, so then I tell her not to tell me anything if she can't handle what I have to say and then she acts hurt.

ARUUGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Whoa, sorry to go on and on - I guess I needed to let that out. God help me she is coming this weekend and I am already rolling my eyes so far back into my head I think I pulled a muscle in my neck.
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Method: Air dry 20 minutes, then blow dry for volume.

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Csarac...what you wrote at the end of your post is exactly how I feel at times. Dontcha just hate being the responsible child sometimes? lol I hate the expectations when the golden penis does not have any, ya know?
Csarac...what you wrote at the end of your post is exactly how I feel at times. Dontcha just hate being the responsible child sometimes? lol I hate the expectations when the golden penis does not have any, ya know?
Originally Posted by WileECoyote - Daddy's grl
EXACTLY!!! And yes, I do hate being the responsible one all the time.

When hubby and I buy our next house we are looking for one with a separate apartment for her (cause sharing common space is OUT of the question, I need locks and doors please or it's going to be very, VERY ugly) and I already told her I am not going to spend the rest of her life listening to her complain about what my brother/grandmother does or does not do and sympathize. I tell her if she is going to let them get her upset she can keep it to herself or she can go live with him and his girlfriend (who does not even speak to my mother).

And what really gets me going is when the golden penis decides to do something half way normal, not even all the way, and she acts like he is Jesus Christ or something, seriously, I have to hear all about it and when I say something that indicates that what he does/says is no big deal, that NORMAL people do that and more each and every day, I again get the high pitched "Oh I know! I don't care that he did x, I am just telling you"
HG's:
Gel: BRHG mixed with Aura Naturalle Gel or B&A Gel
LI: GVP Conditioning Balm or Giovanni Smooth as Silk,
Organic Virgin Coconut Oil (as a DC, before and after dying grays, and like a serum on dry hair)



Method: Air dry 20 minutes, then blow dry for volume.

2b/c mix waves/curls - coarse, frizz prone, med. thick, porous, at-home color for gray, protein sensitive but I still need it sometimes, glycerin-sensitive (I think) in high humidity, mod-CG routine.
The best thing that happened to our relationships with my mother and MIL was moving 600 miles away. I'm about half kidding. I seriously do appreciate the time we spend with both of them a lot more since it is so infrequent. They still manage to be annoying from 600 miles away occasionally, but it's not very often. All in all I would definately recommend moving 600 miles away.
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My mom lives in Florida, which can be a huge blessing, but she still manages to drive me crazy, via phone.

The thing is, she's coming up in a week. She always manages to say something, or start a fight with me when she's planning a trip up. It makes me not want her to even come. Then when she's here, she starts a HUGE fight with me, and threatens to stay in a hotel until her plane leaves.

When she was here for my daughters birthday she got into a huge fight with me the morning of the party and then said she wasn't going to come to the party b/c she was upset.

This is where the "I love her b/c she's my mom" phrase comes in.
~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
My mother still circles job ads in the Sunday newspaper. I know she means well, but it really pisses me off. I liked when I lived away, we got along really well. I am planning my move at the end of 2007 early 2008( sooner if I can talk to my cousin who lives in Phoenix). It seems we get along well when there are miles between us.

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