a 29 year old friend of mine

Is in college working on her 2nd BA. She doesn't have any kiddies nor is she married, but her life is hectic with school and work.

For a school project her professor put her class into groups of three. The three of them have to work together on their final assignment and present it to the class. She is pissed because the two ninteen year olds that she is in this group with want her to come to their dorm to work on it. Sure, it's convenient for them, but not for her. She also has issues about her, as an adult woman, getting together in that type of enviroment . She would rahter do this in the school library, but according to them, majority rules. Should she make a issue over it and keep pusing for the library (I guess they are being turds abou tit), or should she just do it?
I think the two 19 year olds should go to the library.
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they are most likely hoping for a threesome.
Is there a study area in the dorm? If they both live there and there is a convenient place to study, I don't see a problem with it. If they want her to meet them in their room and sit on the bed and study, there is a problem.


"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
library or domr room, she still has to go somewhere right? Not quite sure what the big deal is. From your post it doesn't seem like her children are the issue so what am I missing?

Edited to say that I misread your inital post and now realize that she doesn't have kids. So that makes me even more confused. What is your friend's gripe? The dorm is just as valid a home as wherever it is that your friend lives. Is it just that she only wants to study in the library? Honestly, Libraries might not be the best place to work on a group project.
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Yeah, I'm not sure what the specific problem is, from what you posted...aside from these particular 19-year-olds not being the easiest people to work with.
Are they going to meet more than once?

I might suggest that they alternate where they meet.

If she notices that not much work is getting done, she might suggest the library again.
If she has to go to campus anyway, what's the difference to her if they meet in the library or dorm?

If after one time, it's loud or uncomfortable and just not suited to their study needs then I would imagine all of them would agree on the library, but if the work gets done I don't see what the big deal is.
If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
It sounds like she's probably not comfortable in the dorm environment, considering she is 10 years older than them. She might feel uncomfortable being in their "home" with a bunch of other college students wandering the halls, popping in and out, etc. I would want to go to the library also. That is neutral turf for everyone. I doubt the 19 year olds would be very interested in going to her house.


"Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery, today is a gift . . . that's why it's called the present." - Unknown
Well, the OP DOES state that she's not comfortable in that kind of environment as a grown woman.

I think she should just SAY that. Why would anyone think that is strange? If they have any clue, they would realize that a 29 year old does not want to sit in a dorm room. And who could blame her? She should just tell them straight out that she's uncomfortable with being in a dorm room, and if it's okay with them, she'd rather meet in the library.
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exactly how much space does this college dorm room have that 2 people and a guest can comfortably study together? do they expect her to sit on one of the beds while working? out of the question!

if i were your friend, i'd be unyielding in that the study group meet in the campus library where there'd be plenty of space and study resources at hand.

and their little "majority rules" remark wouldn't hold water with me. it's not like your friend is telling them to find a way to get to the public library across town to meet with her.

if your friend can agree to go to campus to study where the others already reside, they could at least make it comfortable for her by meeting in a place on campus that best suits her.
"Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb
Wait, do they want to her to go to a dorm room? Each dorm at my school had a computer lab, a study room, and various other places they could study without going to a room.
If that's convenient, I think it doesn't really make a difference. The library or a study room/computer lab in a dorm.

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